Customers Suck!

Quotes from people that should not have credit cards.

by HoneyDippinDan

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Actual things I've had customer say to me at the credit card call center:

"What do you mean I'm being charged interest? Everyone knows that credit cards aren't allowed to charge interest!"

You know, because interest free loans are so lucrative these days. Even sadder, I've heard this more than once.

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"What do you mean there's a limit to how much I can spend on my card!?!"

This guy blew through $3500 in less than 2 months. And it wasn't on stuff that needed financing, it was all little stuff like trips to McDonalds. The majority of his purchases were $5 or less.

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SC: I was listening to your automated system, and I think it said I owed $117.

ME: Actually you owe $170.

SC: How can that be?

ME: Your previous balance was $270, you paid $100, so now you owe $170.

SC: I'll just assume that I only owe $117 because I like that amount better. And if my bill comes any differently, I'll be calling up again to raise holy hell with you guys!"

ME: 

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"Is my credit card a credit card or a debit card?"

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SC: This card won't work.

ME: According to my system, you're attepting to use an expired credit card. What is the expiration date on that card you are using?

SC: It says the expiration date is 01/05.

ME: Well, there's the problem. You should be using a newer card.

SC: But doesn't expiration date mean that's the day you sent it out? That means this is the newest one.

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"I need to report some fraud on my account. According to my statement, I was billed by a place called Late Fee. I know I've never shopped there."

It got even better, when I explained that the fee due to her payment being late, she screamed the payment being late was impossible, since she had put the payment in the mail a WHOLE TWO DAYS before the payment was due. She was adamant that she had sent her payment in plenty of time.

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SC: How much is my minimum due?

ME: Your minimum due is $20. It is due [in three weeks].

SC: Holy crap! Can I get an extension on the due date? It'll be a long time before I come up with that kind of money.

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SC, who's balance is now double than the original purchase due to interest and lates fees: Can I set my password for this account to 1234? That's the same PIN number I have on my food stamp card, so it'll be eaisier to remember.

"Can I swear at you?"

by Talon

Good god what a weekend. Two 8.5 hour shifts, back to back callers the whole time. Here's one of my winners, the Courteous Potty-Mouth.

Me – Thank you for calling *****, how can I help you?
CPM – Can I swear at you?

(Now there's a great way to start a call)

Me – I'd rather you didn't…
CPM – Well that's how it's going to be. My **** receivers are *** down. I want you to get these **** things working right now!

(Now after almost 2 years at this company I call Hell, I've seen some amazing screwups. I don't even bat an eyelash when folks vent at the company through me)

Me – Okay I'm sorry to hear that and I'll do my best to assist you.
CPM – You'd better get these **** receivers working right now or I'm going to **** (insert name of competition)

Me – Ok are you infront of your receivers right now?
CPM – Yes. Is this call being recorded?
Me – It can be.
CPM – Good. Maybe someone will actually do something now.
Me – Well swearing at me isn't going to get this done any faster.
CPM – Well you will get this done you bastard!

(Oh no no no. He made it personal, and there's a line you just don't cross with me)

Me – Alright sir, that's uncalled for. (very stern gloves-off tone)
CPM – … I'm calling competition now. *click*

Coward. If he'd kept it up I'd have told him off, consequences be damned. "Sir do you stand on your head when you go to the bathroom?"