Customer: Would you like a six-year old today?
Me: No thank you.
Customer: I could drop him off.
Me: Right, no.
Customer: He could be quite entertaining…
I don't want my own kids…I certainly don't want yours!
*********************************
Customer: I need an appointment to transfer your services.
Me: You already have an appointment, mam.
Customer: That’s not possible!
Me: Your husband couldn’t have set this up?
Customer: No! This is just outrageous!
*********************************
Customer: Set me up some service.
Me: OK, you still have a balance due on your old account.
Customer: I don’t owe you a balance! (shrieking) I got a letter from you stating that I am great!
*********************************
Customer: How much is your digital phone service?
Me: $49.95.
Customer: Thanks for answering that. I didn’t need to know that though.
*********************************
Customer: My phone is out.
Me: OK, let me get a tech out there. He’ll be out within the next 24 hours.
Customer: So I’m without a phone for 24 hours?!
Me: I’m afraid so, mam.
Customer: I should have know! I’ve been burned so many times before & I keep coming back to you. I will never learn.
*********************************
Customer: This will sound stupid—
Me: Um, all right.
Customer: Are you my “VCR Commander”?
*********************************
Customer: I want satellite.
Me: We don’t have satellite, mam.
Customer: I don’t care. I want it.
*********************************
Customer: Can you give me a wake-up call tomorrow morning?
Me: What?
Customer: With my digital phone…will you call my phone tomorrow & give me a wake-up call?
*********************************
Customer: I had an appointment today (Sunday) between 10-12 & nobody came.
Me: OK, tomorrow is the appointment.
Customer: But it was set for the 10th.
Me: Tomorrow is the 10th.
Customer: Somebody is messing with my brain. I have a hand-drawn calendar behind me. So the appointment is for Tuesday, the 10th.
Me: MONDAY, the 10th.
Customer: Whoa, you’re blowin’ my mind here.
*********************************
Customer: My box don’t work.
Me: OK, let me have you reboot your box.
Customer: Will you be listening in?
Me: I can, if you like.
Customer: No no, I need my privacy.
*********************************
Customer: My phone service is HORRIBLE since I moved in here.
Me: OK, I don’t show you have our phone service, sir.
Customer: No, he set it up. YOUR phone service is horrible.
Me: Sir, you don’t have our phone service.
Customer: Wha–? Well, I’m still very disappointed in your phone service.