An Endless Vortex of Sucky Non-Logic (Long)on April 16, 2007 at 5:10 pm
The adventures of BlaqueKatt
ok I was promoted to an "offline support" position-which means I do the billing fixes and investigations the phone agents don't have time for. Thursday we got the dreaded e-mail from our ops manager…..
"the switch went down, we're deep in queue, CFC Team get on the phones until further notice."
now we begin our epic tale of the good and proud warrior BlaqueKatt entering the queue to vanquish the evil enemy of "hold times" and perhaps a sidequest to abolish the stupidity demons…….adventure awaits….
DOS-my nemisis the demon of stupidity(or starangeness)
BK-our heroine the wireless wench BlaqueKatt
Panic sets in, I haven't taken a call in several fortnights, but they can smell fear, and I am alone. I take a clensing breath, hit "auto in" and wait for the dreaded beep that signifies my call to arms. It comes all too quickly…."Thank you for calling company x my name is BlaqueKatt may I have your first and last name please?"…ok so far so good, normal caller, a fellow traveler on the road to banish ignorance about features on some phones we currently have(company x=wireless phone company), "Thank you for calling company x you have a great day!" I relax a bit but remain ever vigilant, the demons are stealthy….. Hit the release call button, back into the fray….Beep…drat the cursed sound, bane of my existence beckons me again into another potentially torturous exchange with another human….."thank you for calling company x my name is BlaqueKatt may I have your first and last name please?"
the demon speaks, trying to disguise itself as a normal human, but alas they were all but wiped out years ago in the tech support wars*, I know this and prepare to engage my enemy……
DOS-"I had a dream last night about having sex with a man, and that helped"
Egads! No this cannot be, I am blindsided with this statement, I collect my thoughts and scampering braincells and push forward….
BK-"what can I assist you with today?"
I raise up my shield of polite customer service-hah-get around that accursed demon!
DOS-"oh the world is such an interesting place, I just like calling and having conversations with interesting people. Do you read the Bible?"
ahhh crafty one this, bringing religion into the battle-little does she realize this gives me the upper hand as I have trained for this momment, I draw my sword…
BK-"Actually I have read the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Koran, and alot of books on world religions I find them very interesting."
I hear the falter in her voice, I have weakend it, time to pounce….
BK-"Did you have any questions about our products or services?"
BK-"well then if you don't have any questions, I do have other customers that do require my assistance."
DOS-(defeated)"ok-well keep the faith"
BK-"thank you and have a great day!"
Yes, I escape unscathed to fight another battle-but that tale is for another day.