How to get your dumb butt bannedon July 9, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Not Fooling Anybody
I'm not sure if I'm overreacting to these things, but for some reason the fact that every one of the people that pull this routine act like I've got no idea what they are doing just ticks me off.
At our store we sell single cigarillos. They are cheap $.60 cigars. The only reason we sell so damn many of them is because pot heads love them. This particular incident happened last night, but it's nearly identical to all the other times it has happened.
SMC–Sucky Marijuana customer
SMC: Gimme a single [cigar]
Me, after checking to find a reasonably "fresh" one: That's $.60.
She checks it, it seems fine and she pays for it. She then heads out side, turns around after getting to her car and comes back inside.
SMC: 'Scuse me, this one's broke.
Even knowing why it broke, I gave her another one. She takes 4 steps towards the door then comes back.
SMC: This ones stale.
<first off, it's not stale. When it comes to cigars stale is more of a taste thing. Second, we don't keep our $.60 cigars in a humidor, since we don't have one, so they have about 3 days of super soft shelf life after the box is opened. I was already upset since this little encounter happens about once a month.>
Me: It's not stale, its just a little dry. I'm not giving you another one.
SMC: Can I just get my money back?
SMC: But the cigar broke.
Me: If you would have used it the right way, it would have been just fine. They only reason it broke was because you beat the crap out of it trying to loosen the tobacco. <she gives me a look like she couldn't believe I had figured it out>
SMC: So what? It's my business what I do with it.
Me: If you had used it for it's intended purpose it would not have broken. They are not made to be hollowed out so that the tobacco can be replaced with something better. In fact, the manufacturers try to make it so as much of the tobacco stays in the cigar.
SMC: So, it was old so I should get my money back.
Me: It is not old, I opened that box less than a week ago. They are just a little dry and just fine for smoking. You cannot buy a cheap cigar and then try to get your money back when it turns out to be a cheap cigar.
SMC: But it broke.
Me: It broke because you beat the crap out of it, and that's not my fault. That would be like buying a bottle of pop and trying to open it by beating it against the hood of your car. When it breaks that way, you wouldn't get your money back. It was your own fault it broke.
She finally left, but it's just the fact that she, like others, believe that they are the only people to ever think of hollowing out the tobacco of a cigar, that gets me. It's not like the cops can't figure it out either. They should just buy a pack of rolling papers a be done with it.