Episode VI: Revenge of the Paint Guy
by Knightmare
Old man customer, been coming in daily for the past week, wants to buy another 7 gallons of paint. Same color as before, same paint company as before. Therefore, same formula as before. I have no idea what this guy is painting, but it's either really huge, or he likes to put on 14 coats of paint. Or he really likes huffing paint fumes.
Like I said, he is old.. maybe 70. And always has a problem with the paint. He brings in the tops of the previous paint cans so he can match the past batch with the current one. (I don't have a problem with that. I wish more paint customers would do that so I would have a reference to the last paint batch, something to compare)
But every time I mix his paint, he complains that it's off. Always. Well, today, after having hustled for 4 hours straight, paint all over me, nothing to drink, no time to rest and no bathroom break, I had enough.
I finish with his paint, dry a sample atop the lid, and give it to him. He looks at it. He examines it. He scrutinizes it. He … doesn't think it matches! I didn't see that one coming!
SC: "Does this look off to you?"
Me: "Nope. It lookes like a very good match from here."
SC: "No, it's off. Can you fix it?"
Me: *sigh* "I can try. But you know its from the same formula as yesterday and the day before that. Even same batch of paint."
SC: "I DON'T CARE! FIX IT!"
Me: "Okay, not a problem. Well, maybe a slight one. I've only been in the paint department for a week, and I'm not that good at eyeballing what tint to put in and making it come out correctly. I could royally mess up that 5 gallon bucket to where it doesn't even come close to the color you want."
SC: "Look, I don't want your life story, just fix it!"
So I grab it the 5 gallon bucket, which by now feels like it weighs a ton. I've been slinging these things around all day, and my arms are about to fall off.
So, I wing it again, but I get sneaky. I add some clear base, which really doesn't change anything, mix it again, and dry another sample. I show it to him, and he really gets mad.
SC: This isn't even close! Look how dark it is. You ruined this paint! I don't want it. Make me another one!"
Great. Now I just ruined a $100 bucket of paint. This one will go into the 'mis-tint' section. A mis-tint is a can of paint that the customer declines because it's not the right color, or is messed up because of a mistake. No biggy. We cross the barcode off, heavily mark it with "MIS-TINT" and deep discount it. This will be important later.
I walk back to the aisle, very slowly, to grab another 5 gallon bucket of paint.
Me: "Do you want me to follow the formula that's on the can you brought in?"
SC: "Yes, and hurry. I've been waiting long enough."
I mix this batch up, EXACTLY like the previous job. I wince as I bring it up to him, because I know he will say..
SC: "Nope. Wrong again. It's not even close! Who trained you?"
Me: "Uhm, me."
SC: "Christ! Hold off on that paint. I'll be back in a while."
Me: *Good. Get outta my face* <——– my thoughts
He leaves and I put the "ruined" 5G bucket next to the other one, which is still sitting behind the counter, out of the way so I won't trip over it. It is no where near the mis-tint section.
FINALLY! Mid shift arrives! I am saved! She came in early because she had to lead the how-to clinic. Small talk ensues, tell her about Old SC, I make a drink- and bathroom-run, and come back. Whaddya know, we're busy again! 15 minutes later, Old SC is back, but comes via the back aisles, where I don't see him approach. I turn a bit and notice him looking at the mis-tint section.
A thought runs thru my brain: *I bet he's looking for those 5G buckets! He's going to try and buy them for half off!*
Me: "Ah, I see you're back. Would you like to try that color again?"
SC: *Surprised that I noticed him* Uh, not yet.. I have more shopping to do. Say, where are those buckets you had earlier?"
Me: "You mean those mis-tints?"
SC: "Yeah. Where are they?"
Me: "Well, you said they were wrong, and didn't want them. So, I marked them as mis-tints. And wouldn't you know? A guy comes by not a minute later and grabs both of them!"
SC: "What?!?"
Me: "Yeah. He said it was exactly what he was looking for and couldn't believe he was getting such a good deal." (As I was saying this, I put my left foot on one of the buckets he was trying to swindle. He is less than 3 feet away from them, but can't see them because of the partition in front of him. ) "So do you want me to make another 5G bucket for you now?"
SC: "Uh, no. I'll be back in a bit."
He leaves. I mean leaves. The paint department has a direct line of sight to the exit doors. He left the store. He must have abandoned his cart somewhere. I wander to the back aisle, and there it is, old paint cans and all. Bastard.
I come back, and my co-worker (CW) asks me what that what all about, and was the paint I was resting my left foot on the paint he wanted?"
Me: "Sho'nuff! He was trying to get slick on me."
CW: "Was that the guy that's been in every day looking for the same color paint, and always says it's wrong?"
Me: "Sho'nuff!" <—- So I like The Last Dragon. Great cheesy movie. Sue me.
CW: "Ah. Ellen (paint mgr, name changed) got him yesterday. I thought he was up to something. Good job! I just hope he doesn't say anything."
Me: "After the morning I've had, I could care less. Besides, this paint will sell today. I'll mark it off another $10."
It did. Both buckets sold to a young, brand-new-baby couple not more than an hour later. Said it would be perfect color for their new house. Made them very happy. Made me very happy. I am happy.
And my hands hurt from typing so much.