The Hormone Hostage

[Professional Serf]

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

Deadly: What's for dinner?
Dangerous: Can I help you with dinner?
Safe: Where would you like to go for dinner?
Best: Here, have some chocolate.

Deadly: Are you wearing that?
Dangerous: You sure look good in brown!
Safe: WOW! Look at you!
Best: Here, have some chocolate.

Deadly: What are you so worked up about?
Dangerous: I think we're both overreacting.
Safe: Here's my paycheck.
Best: Here, have some chocolate.

Deadly: Should you be eating that?
Dangerous: I got some apples because they're so good for you!
Safe: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Better: Here, have some chocolate.

Deadly: What did you DO all day?
Dangerous: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
Safe: You are SO hot in that robe!
Best: Here, have some more chocolate.


13 Things PMS Stands For:

1 - Pass My Shotgun

2 - Psychotic Mood Shift

3 - Perpetual Munching Spree

4 - Puffy Mid-Section

5 - People Make me Sick

6 - Provide Me with Sweets

7 - Pardon My Sobbing

8 - Pimples May Surface

9 - Pass My Sweat pants

10 - Pissy Mood Syndrome

11 - Plainly; Men Suck

12 - Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

Probable Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh!
...Or men who need a warning.