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View Full Version : Would anyone else talk to their mother like this?


greensinestro
05-24-2007, 06:23 PM
This dealt with a simple cancellation of the internet, yet it took longer than needed. Why? Well, take a long look at this one:

Me: Thank your for calling ABC internet, how may I help you?

SC: I'm calling for my mother, who is hard of hearing. I need to cancel her internet.

Me: OK, I will be happy to do that for you. I just need......

SC: (Background noise) Mom! Can you please shut up a minute so I can cancel this for you?

Me; Uh, maam, I will need to......

SC: Yeah, yeah. Just a second. My mother talks to much all the time that she can't shut up for one second so I can help her.

Me: All right. (Waited for nearly two long minutes while she's placating her mother)

SC: OK, now I can take care of this. What do you need?

Me: I first will need to verify the account information.

SC: Aw, come on! You waited this long to tell me that? (Uh, no bitch. I did not wait to tell you this at a later time. You're the one verbally abusing your mother)

Me: No, maam. I was waiting for you to......

SC: (More inaudible noise) Mom! I told you to shut the hell up so I can do this for you. I can't do this if you keep running your damn mouth!

Me: Uh, maam. Perhaps it might be better if you call back at a later time.

SC: Don't patronize me and tell me that. I've been trying to cancel this for four days now and can't get you all to do it. (Yeah, that's because you're spending more time abusing your mother)

Me: I understand that, maam, but if you could just verify.......

SC: Dammit, Mom! I told you to stop talking to me so I can cancel the service. Damn!

Me: (By this time, I really wanted to end this call, and she still has not verified the account information) Maam, I really need you to verify the account, and then I will be happy to cancel.

SC: Ugh! Its'..................Mom! I told you to shut the hell up. I can't talk to this stupid guy and you at the same time.

Me: Thank you, maam!

SC: For what?

Me: I was thanking you for both the compliment, and for verifying your account. It's canceled. Is there anything else I can help you with? (Cringing that she will not say "yes")

SC: No, thank you! (And as she's hanging up the phone.....) Damn, Mom! How many times (click!)

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I do not think I would be here today if I spoke to my parents like this. I'm an adult now, and I still do not think my parents would allow this. But, I do know of some households where it seems like the children, not the parents, are in charge. Does this seem odd to anyone else?

KuzcoLlama
05-24-2007, 06:30 PM
I'm not going to lie, my mom and I have said that sort of stuff to each other. Our family runs on a high level of sarcasm, quick wit, and deadpan humour. The hard part is remembering not everyone is like that.

aurelemsrealm
05-24-2007, 06:32 PM
If I talked to either of my parents like that, I'd have been beaten black and blue by both of them, even if only one was present at the time.

As for the customer, I think I might have just hung up after the little insult regardless of the consequences. Verbal abuse over the phone is one of those areas where I don't feel obligated to put up with it when I can hang up instead.

rerant
05-24-2007, 06:45 PM
Me and my mom joke around all the time and will swear at one another, cut rude jokes, make snide comments, etc., but it's ALWAYS in a joking way and I would NEVER be that rude to her were I not kidding around.
Though on the same note, an ex of mine would always tell me how terrible I was for talking to my mother the way that I did, never paying attention to the fact that it was all a joke between her and I and that she knew for a fact I wasn't serious, as I knew she wasn't either.

Some people are so lacking in respect that they can't even be arsed to direct even the smallest amount to the people who gave them life.

PizzaBoy
05-24-2007, 06:48 PM
I'm 20 years old now, but if I talked to my mother that way, there would be hell to pay.

blas
05-24-2007, 06:52 PM
You and me both, Pizzaboy. Safe to say, if I were to ever treat my mother that way (not joking around not teasing each other, but honestly arguing), and I swore at her, I'd be lucky if I'd get an open casket funeral.

Kiwi
05-24-2007, 07:01 PM
Both my mother and I have said worse things than that, however can you imagine how annoying it would be if you were in his/her position. Im not saying its right to abuse someone (anyone including your mother) but I always try and put myself into both sides shoes.

Imagine your trying to talk to someone on the phone (doing a favour for your mom) and she wont shut up.... seriously! It sounds like that person was at the end of their rope.

greensinestro
05-24-2007, 07:14 PM
Imagine your trying to talk to someone on the phone (doing a favour for your mom) and she wont shut up.... seriously! It sounds like that person was at the end of their rope.

I don't know......I still look at this as abuse no matter what other people may think. Sure, sometimes your parents, your children, even your friends can do things like try to talk to you while you're on the phone, and it can get on your nerves. Still I do not think this justifies literally cursing these people out, and also allowing some strange person on the other end of the call (which was me) hear all of this unpleasant banter. I can only hope this person does not work somewhere such as a nursing home, daycare center, pre-school, what have you.

greensinestro
05-24-2007, 07:28 PM
I'm not going to lie, my mom and I have said that sort of stuff to each other. Our family runs on a high level of sarcasm, quick wit, and deadpan humour. The hard part is remembering not everyone is like that.

I still find no good reason that children, even if they are now adults, would have the right to speak to their mothers like this. I have a really good couple of questions to ask you on this: Is this how you speak to other people? Were you raised to be rude, nasty, and downright condescending to people, especially people who are much older than you? I know I wasn't, and again, I cannot justify speaking like this with a total stranger on the other end of my phone call.

air914
05-24-2007, 07:30 PM
sounds like maybe the mom didn't WANT the service cancelled.... perhaps darling daughter was paying for it and got pissed at mom and wanted to cancel the service......and mom wasn't "shutting up" b/c she didn't want the service cancelled..

still doesn't sound like a really loving relationship......

KuzcoLlama
05-24-2007, 07:31 PM
And you missed what I said. We do it jokingly, hence the line about sarcasm. My entire family and I joke to each other like this. I promise not to be so subtle with what I say next time.

EDIT: And yes, I have enough brain cells to rein my sarcasm in public. Such as me and my mom at the dentist's office where I politely pointed out she gave them the wrong number instead of making a joke.

greensinestro
05-24-2007, 07:41 PM
Perhaps I was taking what you said too personally there. I am fine with joking around and being sarcastic to be funny. However, this call I was referring to was nothing close to joking around. It was so awful that it made me wonder if not only this lady is verbally abusive with her mother, but also physically. And if she is one of those people who then drags me into the middle of it, calling me stupid only because I won't just give in to her and keep quiet without verifying her information, then that strengthens my point of her being your no-so-ordinary person who just kids around.

Emrld
05-24-2007, 07:43 PM
we don't know the full story here . . . .

It could be a situation where the child has had to become the parent. If the Mom has a mental challange . . . all kinds of things could be going on.
I knew of a situation where they had to block QVC cause the Adult living in their house didn't understand what she was buying - she would just call in because the number came across the screen.
Could be that Mom is on a very fixed income . . . and it comes down to a matter of choices . . .and if the "children" can't help Mom out - then it could be frustrating.

Of course the Elderly are protected . . . there is honestly nothing to prevent you from turing in a suspescion of Elder Abuse without giving your inro.

iradney
05-25-2007, 10:13 AM
I dunno, if I spoke with my Mom like that, I'd lose a couple teeth. We do joke around, but you can HEAR we're kidding - as in gales of laughter...

Barefootgirl
05-25-2007, 12:14 PM
All things being equal, I wouldn't speak to anyone like that.

However, I can't say how i would behave if, for example, I was compelled to become sole carer for a parent with severe dementia, who literally drove me insane with frustration because even the simplest thing was beyond them. Not all people with dementia, for example become sweet dotty old ladies. Some of them become downright nasty foul-mouthed old b*tches and make their families' lives a misery because they are physically well enough to live alone, but mentally in desperate need of a carer. If you are living 24/7 with someone who is severely mentally ill, who never stops talking, who soils themselves every two hours, who lets themselves out of the house in the middle of the night unless you barricade the doors like Fort Knox and who regualrly spends hours screaming abuse at you, you might be somewhat short with that person as well.

Obviously, we have no way of knowing if the situation in your caller's house is anything like that, or if the daughter was indeed a genuinely abusive person, but its something to bear in mind.

platypus
05-25-2007, 12:35 PM
I would NEVER speak to my mother like that, she's a sweet southern bell, my father, the New York yank is a different matter. I probably wouldn't unload on him in front of strangers, but our loving power struggles can lead to similar language.

My thought is that maybe this woman was a primary care taker for a parent suffering from some kind of dementia, or just plan old person crankiness. The language is a tad inappropriate, but maybe this was the final snap, I've seen a friend known for his pacifism, slug an extreme talker after a week long camping trip. Anyone who has been cornered by one knows the pain, imagine living all your life with that person. Sorry you had to take that on!

greensinestro
05-25-2007, 12:51 PM
All things being equal, I wouldn't speak to anyone like that.

However, I can't say how i would behave if, for example, I was compelled to become sole carer for a parent with severe dementia, who literally drove me insane with frustration because even the simplest thing was beyond them.

Obviously, we have no way of knowing if the situation in your caller's house is anything like that, or if the daughter was indeed a genuinely abusive person, but its something to bear in mind.


All true, except when it got to her getting annoyed with me for needing to verify her info, then being called "stupid" because she was frustrated with her mother......I still don't think it justifies how this lady acted while on the call. Sure, perhaps one would be compelled to get angry and upset with a mother that has a condition like this, but I don't think that is a good reason to curse her out, ie "shut your damn mouth" or "shut the hell up". I might have said something like, "Mom, can you please be quiet a moment so I can finish this for you?" Again, I don't think it's appropriate for an unknown stranger on the other end of the call, and someone you particularly will never meet in person, to hear an exchange like this.

Foxglove8778
05-25-2007, 01:16 PM
I could never treat my mother like that. I'm not sure I could treat anyone like that.

aurelemsrealm
05-25-2007, 01:47 PM
I inherited a very sarcastic sense of humor from my mother. Her family is known for this particular trait, so I come by it honestly. My father's family is very argumentative and tempermental, and I've also inherited those traits from him. So, we have a lot of friendly, and sometimes not so friendly exchanges of words in my family. Even so, I still manage to keep a civil tongue in most serious situations where a bit of tact is required. The only time I lose my cool is when someone is being extremely stupid or obnoxious, and I've had enough of it.

Bloodsoul
05-25-2007, 01:57 PM
Ah, it all really depends on how much will power you have when it comes to controlling one's temper. I think I'm going towards the route that this person was at the end of their ropes in trying to deal with the situation; any sort of extra stress would certainly make even the nicest person snap and a lapse of judgment often makes someone say something they'll soon regret.

Skandranon
05-25-2007, 02:20 PM
I talk to my mother that way, but because she can be a right bitca sometimes. This is the woman who tells me, frequently, that my dear friends will eventually get tired of me, that I couldn't possibly ever be a normal human being, and that the man I love would never get with me because I'm fat and ugly.

Believe you me, I restrain myself around her for civility sake, but we still reach a level similar to that call.

Becks
05-25-2007, 02:30 PM
It's one thing joking around. I wouldn't joke around like that, especially while on the phone with a complete stranger.

I think the customer in this case was absolutely sucky.

RebeccaOTool
05-25-2007, 02:32 PM
That is awful.

myswtghst
05-25-2007, 02:35 PM
My family is huge into teasing eachother--it's a running gag with me and my brother that my mom is older than the dinosaurs, and even our extended family (aunt, uncle and cousin) tend to get in on the teasing--we just spread it around and use it as a way to show affection. My family also is not shy about cussing around each other--we joke that we learned how to swear by watching sports with my dad.

That being said, I never talk like this in public/with a stranger on the phone. Granted, we don't know the full situation, and it's possible there is a REASON she treats her mother like this--but it's not an excuse to be so awful to a stranger, and to your mother with a stranger on the phone, forced to listen in, IMO.

Andara Bledin
05-25-2007, 05:18 PM
The fact that she put in you the middle of that is very sucky.

However, without a lot more information about what was actually going on at her end of the call, there is no way to know whether the woman was yoked with too much to handle, or if she was just abusive.

^-.-^

AFpheonix
05-25-2007, 06:24 PM
Yep, sounds like a classy lady, all right.
If she needed to cancel and had been trying to do so for 4 days, perhaps she should consider going to a place where she can't hear her mother to do so. The extra verbal abuse for the rep was a nice touch too.

I'm envisioning overweight woman with hairy legs, rollers and a hair net, dirty pink bathrobe, and a cigarette hanging out of the corner of her lips.

blas
05-25-2007, 06:42 PM
We need to stop watching re-runs of Beavis and Butthead late at night, AFPhoenix.

Kiwi
05-25-2007, 11:22 PM
ie "shut your damn mouth" or "shut the hell up".

In my family the word "damn" isnt considered a swear word and "shut the hell up" is used quite frequently and thats by everyone including my mother. We used to pick a subject for debate at the dinner table and fly at it. Kyle got a shock the first night he had dinner with us when we really got going and then stopped and said stuff like "pass the butter please" then went right back at it. His family sits in almost silence while eating and he could NEVER joke around with his parents, they are very stiff and formal and proper. (Im dreading them meeting actually, talk about clash of the cultures)

However because its not considered a "bad" thing its not taken as a "bad" thing. So for this woman the situation could be completely different?

Tone of voice means alot, you could hear the womans tone and we cant....so you may be totally right. She may be nasty and abusive towards her mum.

Could you hear the mothers replies? Im just wondering because my Mum gives it back just as good as she got it (and she spoke to my grandparents the same way) but out family is loud and opinioniated and boisterious. You really have to let some four letter words fly to show your angry with my family.It all depends on the family dynamic, if your family is like mine then its what she said wouldnt be considered out of the ordinary, if the family is more formal and uptight then it could very well be considered extremely rude and abusive.

meme
05-25-2007, 11:41 PM
I would never talk to my mother or anyone like that, certainly not while talking on the phone conducting business. And, if my mother heard me talking to someone on the phone like Ms. Classy was to you, I'd get a smack (not that I would do that-I was raised right:angel:).

Sometimes, I hear stuff very similar to what you heard, but it's usually directed at children:(

I wish that people would learn to use the phone during quiet times or at least go in another room away from the annoying person.

BookstoreEscapee
05-26-2007, 12:17 AM
On a lighter note, maybe mom is just getting her revenge for all the times she was on the phone when daughter was little, and got interrupted with "Mommy...can I have a drink? .. Mommy I want a snack. .. Mommy I can I go out to play? .. Mommy what's for dinner? .. Moooommmmmmyyyyyy....." :)

AFpheonix
05-26-2007, 07:57 AM
We need to stop watching re-runs of Beavis and Butthead late at night, AFPhoenix.

..there's reruns? Sweet!

Actually, I can't remember the last time I watched tv. Since I usually work 2nd shift and I'm at the barn most mornings, I'm not around for good tv shows, and when I do get a chance to sit down, I'd rather watch a dvd, cruise the internet, or play video games or Everquest.

blas
05-26-2007, 08:02 AM
Sometimes on MTV 2, but not on weekend nights when I'm off.

When I was laid off and nights I've taken off or called in sick, sometimes it was on. Other times they have random marathons of old episodes on a Saturday afternoon.

Usually it's all Jackass and whatnot.

powerboy
05-26-2007, 08:04 AM
Me and my mom joke around all the time and will swear at one another, cut rude jokes, make snide comments, etc., but it's ALWAYS in a joking way and I would NEVER be that rude to her were I not kidding around.
Though on the same note, an ex of mine would always tell me how terrible I was for talking to my mother the way that I did, never paying attention to the fact that it was all a joke between her and I and that she knew for a fact I wasn't serious, as I knew she wasn't either.

Some people are so lacking in respect that they can't even be arsed to direct even the smallest amount to the people who gave them life.


That is how my family does all the time. My brother and I, have more then enough respect for them.

Tria
05-27-2007, 05:46 PM
I still find no good reason that children, even if they are now adults, would have the right to speak to their mothers like this.

Depends on the job the mother did....

aurelemsrealm
05-27-2007, 05:57 PM
I usually don't bother with the phone unless someone wants to talk to me or I want to talk to someone. I just don't care much for being on the phone. If I do have to be on the phone, I try to go off by myself somewhere and let everyone know I'm on the phone so don't bother me unless it's important.

HowMayIHelpMe?
05-28-2007, 02:37 AM
I would never have spoken to my mother the way that this waste of flesh and blood spoke to his.

And I would never allow anyone near me to speak to their mother that way, either.

Andara Bledin
05-29-2007, 05:31 PM
Sometimes on MTV 2, but not on weekend nights when I'm off.

When I was laid off and nights I've taken off or called in sick, sometimes it was on. Other times they have random marathons of old episodes on a Saturday afternoon.

Usually it's all Jackass and whatnot.

The "M" does stand for Music, right?

Do they ever play any music on either of those stations any more?

^-.-^