Parents are hilarious sometimes.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

I love to tell funny stories. I got an email from an old friend today I haven't seen in years, and it made me remember this story about him. I knew him from college. We'll call him Brandon.

Brandon was a little skinny intellectual type of guy. He started going out with a good friend (and later roommate) of mine, and that's how I got to know him. He is an only child of wealthy intellectuals and his Mother is Jewish, so he was quite coddled and spoiled as a child.

When he was in highschool, he didn't bring any of his girlfriends home with him. He said that A) he didn't consider any of his highschool relationships important enough, and B) he was going through that I-don't-wanna-tell-my-parents-everything phase. Well because of this habit of his, his Mother became convinced he was gay. I mean really convinced. She would randomly say things to him like 'Brandon, it's ok to be gay. We still love you.' and stuff like that. She'd say this stuff over breakfast or in the car, and he'd say 'Mom, I'm not gay.' She'd go 'Well we want you to know it's ok.' And he would say 'Yes, Mom, I know it's ok, I have gay friends. I'm cool with it. But I am not gay.' And she would just smile at him.

So anyway he came to New Mexico to go to school. Far away from Chicago and his family. He started going out with my friend, and began to spend nights in her dorm room instead of his own. Apparently his Mother liked to call early in the morning, before he went to class, to talk to him. One night he slept in his own room and she called him that morning, saying 'Where have you been? I've been calling in the morning for the past several days and you haven't been there.'

He said 'Oh, well I've been sleeping in someone else's dorm room.'

She said 'Well I hope it was someone special.'

So he told her about his girlfriend, where she was from (Arizona), stuff like that. He told her they studied late a lot and he would just sleep there.

He said there was a long pause at the other end of the line. The he distinctly heard his mother say to herself 'Well I'll be damned.' She had still been convinced he was gay!

He used to tell me this story and it just tickled me everytime he told it. Parents are so funny. :roll:

[jb17kx]

And unfortunatley, the closed-minded bigot parents are the ones with gay sons, like one of my friends.

Things are strange that way...

[Jester]

My mom asked me if I was gay once.

I was 17, and had just been carried in the door drunk as a skunk by some friends. And someone had told her that I had freaked out that night, something about my having dealt with something really bad and horrible that night. (The thing in question was some freaky shit with some Satanist acquaintances, for those wondering.)

So there I am, tottering in the doorway, barely able to stand or focus. I stagger down the hallway to my room, and sit down on my bed, trying to figure out the complexities of changing clothes and going to bed. Mom stands in the doorway and attempts to talk to me. After a couple minutes of this, I look Mom squarely (okay, hapharzardly) in the eye and say (drunkenly), "Mom, either you can stand there and talk to me while I pass out or you can go away and let me pass out...but either way, I am passing the hell out." And so I did.

Next morning I wake up bright and early at the crack of noon and stumble into the kitchen where Mom simply hands me a bottle of aspirin and says nothing at first. (Have I ever mentioned how fucking cool my Mom is?) Finally when I am settled in, she brings up the night before and mentions what someone had told her. Not wanting to tell her about all the bullshit Satanist stuff, I kind of didn't answer her. And then she looks me square in the eye and asks, "Are you gay?"

When I stopped laughing, I asked her if that was truly one of the worst things she could think of happening to me. She thought about it and said she guessed not.

But one thing my sisters and I DID to my poor beleaguered mother when we were teens (the three of us are all within 5.5 years of each other)--we beat into her so badly that we didn't want to hear her opinion on our friends, girlfriends, whatever, that nowadays I literally have to drag her opinion out of her. Poor Mom! :lol:

[justZu]

And unfortunatley, the closed-minded bigot parents are the ones with gay sons, like one of my friends.


Or gay daughters...one of my daughter's best friends is gay and my daughter told me that if the Dad ever found out, this girl would be out on the street faster than you could blink your eyes. I told her not to worry, she will always have a home with us if she needs one.

This girl was terrified when she found out we knew about her sexual orientation. She was afraid I would forbid my daughter from being her friend, or worse - tell her dad. I told her the same thing I tell my own kids when it comes to relationships: I don't care if you are straight or gay, I don't care what color or religion your partner is, just as long as they are honest, kind people who will be respectful, hard-working, have a good sense of humor, and love you. That's what is really important.

[Kuterthnur]

That's amazing how saying nothing all those years drove his mother into suspicions about him! See what staying quiet does? It drives everyone nuts! Good for him!

Nice story btw. :)

[blas]

I don't think "parents are hilarious" in that sense. Most likely just ignorant. Every teen goes through that type of phase where they don't want to share everything with their parents. Hell, I never told my mother anything. She screened every person I ever brought home on the online court systems and would give them all the 3rd degree. She also threatened to disown me if I ever got "knocked up" before marriage and all that jazz. I shudder to think what my mother would say if I was gay.

Unless a child has a very open relationship with a very trusting parent, they are going to hide things. Sometimes bad things like drugs and sex, other times just the fact that they are dating or playing sports because they don't want their parents involved.

I was hidden under a rock by my mother, and she still can't comprehend that it's her fault I ended up the way I am. I rebelled to have freedom. She never taught me about sex and puberty, I had to learn it from friends and my cousin because mom forbidded dad from telling me. I experimented with drugs because mom threatened to "send me back where I came from" if I were ever caught with them. She threatened the same thing if I had sex before I got married.....blah blah blah..

Yes, I dread mother's day. My poor dad tried, but he was threatened to be sent back to where HE came from if he ever tried to teach me anything.

[GingerBiscuit]

My parents are great. In fact, when I came out as Bi to them their response was 'Oh, we knew'. They've always been massively supportive and caring and have taught me never to settle.

However, some of my friends parents... one of them kicked my (then 16 year old) friend (her daughter) out of her house FOR GOOD cause my friend didn't like her mums new boyfriend.
One of the others told my best friend she had no moral fibre and was a slut cause she's had four partners since she was 16, now being 22.

[AFpheonix]

My mom yelled at me one time for throwing away "perfectly good dirt".


It was a dead plant.

[Jester]

My mom loves gardening. I can SO see her having a somewhat similar reaction.

I inherited a lot of things from Mom, including her sense of humor, her voice (my father did not have a good voice, I have a DJ quality one), her love of wood furniture....but whereas she has an amazing green thumb, I have a black thumb. I kill plants.

Of course, part of that is my basic philosophy with plants. To me, they're either ingredients or garnish! :lol: