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Gravekeeper
10-20-2007, 08:19 AM
...resulting in epic fail. >.>

Yes, I've been a bit quiet this week. It's been kinda quiet at work ( The weather here has been rather miserable so even the morons are hunkering down a bit. ).

But of course no amount of adverse weather conditions can stop the truly determined amongst them....


867 - Euthanasia


Me: "Good evening, <company>"
SC: "Can you erase my name?"
Me: "……pardon?"
SC: "Uh…erase my name."
Me: "……erase your name?"
SC: "Cancel my name."

….the what now? I'm not entirely sure what you're asking of me. Did you want to change your name? Burn your driver's license? Or is this some sort of weird plea for death? Much as I would like to help with the 3rd option I'm afraid the distance is too great and I dare not set foot across the border to Nunavut for fear doing so would somehow mentally strike me down to your level by way of whatever terrible affliction/virus/cruel trick of genetics/slathering boogie monster it is that haunts the frigid wastes and preys upon your minds.



A Clue, Sherlock

Me: "Are you in Canada or the US?"
SC: "Eh?"
Me: "Nevermind."

Well, that answers that.


Farkwit Relay

Me: "and your last name?"
SC: <to the background> "Hey how do you spell his last name?"
SC2: <another voice in the background to someone else in the background> "Hey how do you spell your last name?"
SC3: <2nd voice in the background> "C-L-I-V-E."
SC2: <1st voice in the background> "C-L-I-V-E."
SC: "It's C-L-I-V-E"
Me: "…thank you."

….um….for be it for me to break up this bizarre little fund raising relay for the paint huffing inclined but wouldn't it be easier to just GIVE the phone to the dumbass placing the order? What exactly is the problem here? Does the phone not reach to the couch so you have to set up little monkey relay posts through out your trailer to relay my inquiries to his majesty the Walrus King?

Does the Walrus King consider me somehow beneath him and thus declined to speak with me? Or is Project Runway on and he can't bare to tear himself away from the TV for fear he might miss a few precious seconds? Are the commercial breaks not long enough for the two of you to kick open the trailer door, hook him up to the jeep winch outside and drag his cheese stained carcass across the floor to the phone?

I fear I must petition the King for answers.



Concern

Me: "Good evening, Gravekeeper speaking. How may I help you?"
SC: "Hi!"
Me: "Hello"
SC: "Are you ok?!!?"
Me: "…um"

…I think so. Wait, lets see….2 arms, 2 legs, boy bits intact, I can still move my toes….yes, yes I am. Thank you for asking.



Email Orders
( We process a few clients by email as well... )

Alicia Brown does not want to order any tickets but made use of the credit card field in her email to inform us to "bite her". Thank you, Alicia.



Cleared For Landing

There was a guy on the corner from Granville Station that apparently was trying to flag down low flying aircraft. I'm not entirely sure…I thought he was flagging down a cab at first. But when I got up to the corner there were no cabs anywhere in sight….indeed there was no oncoming traffic at all. But he was quite insistent there was something and only his finely honed skills could guide it into the docking bay.



867

SC: "Ok, do I have time to explain myself?"

Oh boy! Story time!

SC: "I'm disabled so-"

Is this relevant to the plot or are you playing the sympathy card? Make sure you tap 3 White Mana.

SC: "Is there any way I can get it and just like pay $20 a month for a few months?"

Sympathy card it is. Also, no. That's a $170 Timex. If $20 is the height of disposal income you can generate per month perhaps you should be exploring alternative means of keeping track of time. There are some nice digital models you can get that are within your price range and all they require is turning the crank on a vending machine.

SC: "Ok, well I'll get that one for myself….and the one two watches down. How much is that watch with tax?"

So you can't afford the $170 Timex so you're going for the $725 Timex as well? Far be it for me to comment but considering the rate of disposal income you revealed previously I must, on behalf of <company>, implore you to make a cheaper selection. If we were to accept the questionable deal you're proposing there's a good chance your natural life would expire before we collected the full sum.

I'm sure we can find you a nice hat here for under $20……ah ha! Yes, yes we do. A $19 camo stretch cap. Oh oh, and it comes in the fabulously popular pink camo style you monkey beasts all seem to like. You'll be the envy of all your friends or pack mates or whatever it is you have.



Plausible Explanation

SC: "Do you know why the Pickering office isn't picking up?"

Hmmm, no. However, if I applied my vast knowledge of movies and video games to come up with a possible conclusion then I would have to say zombies. Yes whenever you can't get a hold of someone or the line is mysteriously cut off its usually somehow related to the undead. Well, ok, *maybe* werewolves. But that’s more a European thing.



867

Me: "and the item number?"
SC: "xxxx-xx" ( Skin tight tube top )
Me: "Ok, what size?"
SC: "2XL."
Me: ".....and what colour?"
SC: "Pink Camo"
Me: "...ok, anything else?"
SC: "xxxx-xx" ( Miniskirt )
Me: ".....what size?"
SC: "2XL"
Me: "..and what colour?"
SC: "Pink Camo."


Getting a head start on your Waddling Blight on the Landscape costume for Halloween are you? Would you like to go for a matching hat as well or are you just going to shave your head and paint it like a Baboon's ass?



Um, no

Caller" "Let me give you the number to my pocket phone."

I….don't think I want that. Please put it back in your pants.



Epic Fail

So as I was riding the Skytrain home the other day a girl got on and promptly sat down beside me. Thus setting off the alarm bells in my head because there were plenty of empty seats. She was also fantastically too close. Sitting on my coat and leaning into me close ( This will become important momentarily ). I don't need snuggles from a total stranger at 7:30am, thank you. The following conversation ensued:

"Excuse me, is my face bleeding?"
( I turn to look. I assume this was an attempt to use feminine charms as there was nothing wrong with her face at all aside from affixing me with batting eyelashes and puppy dog eyes )
"No."
"I just got beat up really bad."
( Suure....and you don't have a scratch on you, aren't visibly hurt and this somehow occured at one of the busiest Skytrain stations in front of 4 security cameras and 2 cops. Then you came to me first? Mmkay. )
"Ok."
"......"
"......"

I assume she was fishing for sympathy but my blunt uncaring reply derailed the scheme. Seeing her fail she promptly got up, moved one seat up, sat down next to the person in front of me and repeated the act.

Knowing she was up to something I immediately checked my left jacket pocket. The one she was sitting on. It was empty. She'd just swiped my Skytrain pass. I assume to attempt to scalp it outside one of the stations ( You see people do this now and then. Then try to get passes off people then resell them. Considering the fine if you get caught doing this it'd be safer to just ask for change. )

Problem is I keep my current pass in one pocket and my expired pass from the previous night in the other to make sure I don't get them mixed up.

Guess which you she just swiped?

Yep, the one that had expired about 11 hours ago.

So I said not a word.

( The person in front of me shut her down instantly too. Considering he overheard the entire exchange with me. You'd think you'd at least move to someone that wasn't in ear shot. =p )




Thus ends day, uh...3 and 4 from last week and 1 and 2 from this week. ;p

Broomjockey
10-20-2007, 08:28 AM
867 - Euthanasia


Me: "Good evening, <company>"
SC: "Can you erase my name?"
Me: "……pardon?"
SC: "Uh…erase my name."
Me: "……erase your name?"
SC: "Cancel my name."

He obviously brought shame on his household, and was counting on you disguising his shame.

A Clue, Sherlock

Me: "Are you in Canada or the US?"
SC: "Eh?"
Me: "Nevermind."

Well, that answers that.

And the beaver is a truely proud and noble animal!

Concern

Me: "Good evening, Gravekeeper speaking. How may I help you?"
SC: "Hi!"
Me: "Hello"
SC: "Are you ok?!!?"
Me: "…um"

…I think so. Wait, lets see….2 arms, 2 legs, boy bits intact, I can still move my toes….yes, yes I am. Thank you for asking.

This one is disturbing on several levels, though the random concern for a stranger's wellbeing is touching. Also, you never struck me as a *removed for personal safety*

Plausible Explanation

SC: "Do you know why the Pickering office isn't picking up?"

Hmmm, no. However, if I applied my vast knowledge of movies and video games to come up with a possible conclusion then I would have to say zombies. Yes whenever you can't get a hold of someone or the line is mysteriously cut off its usually somehow related to the undead. Well, ok, *maybe* werewolves. But that’s more a European thing.

Blasted zombies. Always muck up *my* holiday plans. So inconsiderate too. You'd think they'd clean up after themselves once in a while, but no.

Gravekeeper
10-20-2007, 08:47 AM
This one is disturbing on several levels, though the random concern for a stranger's wellbeing is touching. Also, you never struck me as a *Classified*

You know I completely forgot to change that to "Gravekeeper" ><

Now that you know my secret I may be forced to neutralize you....

Broomjockey
10-20-2007, 08:50 AM
You know I completely forgot to change that to "Gravekeeper" ><

Now that you know my secret I may be forced to neutralize you....

I'll keep your secret! :eek: Don't send the 867ers after me!

Sliceanddice
10-20-2007, 09:10 AM
*wonders if GK knows when he quoted he left his secret in the wild...*
ive heard the 'can just pay 20 bucks a month' thing before, though its usually by people you know are going to get item and run for the hills...

xlr82xs
10-20-2007, 09:48 AM
on the other hand, I can see Gravekeeper pulling off "Zaphtan" fairly well :lol:


I am ZAPHTAN, I will consume you whilst you place your order.

ThePhoneGoddess
10-20-2007, 12:36 PM
You just got me in trouble for laughing too loudly at work. :cry:

I want that pink camo outfit. I'll put it on a scarecrow outside my front door, and I bet I won't get a single trick or treater all night. They'll all run screaming!

Gravekeeper
10-20-2007, 12:52 PM
You just got me in trouble for laughing too loudly at work. :cry:

I want that pink camo outfit. I'll put it on a scarecrow outside my front door, and I bet I won't get a single trick or treater all night. They'll all run screaming!

This is the object in question:

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/6379/pinkcamodz5.jpg

Of course, thats a small or medium. We do not keep visual representations of 2XL on file for the safety of all involved.

Reyneth
10-20-2007, 12:53 PM
Problem is I keep my current pass in one pocket and my expired pass from the previous night in the other to make sure I don't get them mixed up.

Guess which you she just swiped?

Yep, the one that had expired about 11 hours ago.

So I said not a word.



Kinda like when the Police wanted to know why I didn't seem to care when reporting that along with taking my laptop, the lowlife who broke into my apartment also took a DVD/VCR (which I discovered 2 weeks later).

The thief took it out of a box, folded the flaps back up and PUT THE STUFF sitting on top of the box BACK.

All of this for a player that was sitting in a box by my door for 1 reason - the DVD player was broken beyond resonable repair (wouldn't "spin" discs anymore) and I was going to be throwing it out.

Oh yeah buddy, you got my laptop (:cry:) but that big ol'e hunk of metal you also took is WORTH-LESS. :wave:

ThePhoneGoddess
10-20-2007, 12:56 PM
Of course, thats a small or medium. We do not keep visual representations of 2XL on file for the safety of all involved.


Do you have a 3XL? My scarecrow's a hefty gal. :p

Gravekeeper
10-20-2007, 01:12 PM
Do you have a 3XL? My scarecrow's a hefty gal. :p

Fortunately, no. -.-

Though there are a few 3XL and even 4XL items in the catalogue and they frighten me.

ThePhoneGoddess
10-20-2007, 01:24 PM
Oooooh! 4XL!


Time to dress up the elephants at the zoo!

I bet those pink camo 4XL's are just sexy... :angel:

Gravekeeper
10-20-2007, 01:59 PM
Oooooh! 4XL!


Time to dress up the elephants at the zoo!

I bet those pink camo 4XL's are just sexy... :angel:

Aye, nothing quite like the ever fashionable Arctic Beast Tarp..... <shiver>

Miffed
10-20-2007, 02:02 PM
867

Me: "and the item number?"
SC: "xxxx-xx" ( Skin tight tube top )
Me: "Ok, what size?"
SC: "2XL."
Me: ".....and what colour?"
SC: "Pink Camo"
Me: "...ok, anything else?"
SC: "xxxx-xx" ( Miniskirt )
Me: ".....what size?"
SC: "2XL"
Me: "..and what colour?"
SC: "Pink Camo."



Clothes like that should not be made in larger sizes. Maybe the people that make the clothes have never seen them stretched over that much skin...

Kara
10-20-2007, 02:45 PM
SC: "Can you erase my name?"


ARGH! Visions of crappy brain-hemorrhage inducing Schwartzenegger film flooding brain! Make it stop!

"You have just been erased."


Me: "Are you in Canada or the US?"
SC: "Eh?"


*giggle*


SC3: <2nd voice in the background> "C-L-I-V-E."
SC2: <1st voice in the background> "C-L-I-V-E."
SC: "It's C-L-I-V-E"


Ah yes, the ever-popular assmonkey phone relay race. A race in which there are no winners.


SC: "Are you ok?!!?"
Me: "um"


I'd be genuinely disturbed if a customer called me at random and showed concern for my well being. I'd have to request a new-hire report at once to sweep my desk area for landmines, and to take a sip of my coffee to make sure it isn't laced with anything that could have a negative impact on my ability to live.



Alicia Brown does not want to order any tickets but made use of the credit card field in her email to inform us to "bite her". Thank you, Alicia.


We get these once in awhile. When a customer sends an email through the website, the folks at Consumer Relations (which is basically offline customer care), notes the email on their account and also their response. So every now and then I'll see "Received email from customer. Customer states we suck. Replied that customer should contact customer care to resolve any issues with service." Then another note "Email received by customer (portions removed due to content): This is Asshat Jones. Your service sucks and I hate you all. You're the worst company ever! Thank you."

Why do the emails where they are insulting us always end in "Thank you?"


SC: "I'm disabled so-"


So you want a pity credit. No. Okay, glad we cleared that up.


SC: "Is there any way I can get it and just like pay $20 a month for a few months?"


I hate these. I want the most expensive phone you have, and can you break that up over the next 2 years? Do I look like a bank? We don't offer financing. We don't have layaway. We're not a charity. If you can't afford it, then go find yourself a nice little cheap mid-range phone, and move along so the people who CAN afford the phone can get one.


Yes whenever you can't get a hold of someone or the line is mysteriously cut off its usually somehow related to the undead.


No kidding. You'd think this day and age, companies would arm their security guards with shotguns and chainsaws. But no, they get a walkie-talkie. Great, now their tortured screams as they are devoured alive can be broadcast throughout the building, alerting everyone else to the horrible fate that awaits them in the lobby.


This is the object in question:


You know what bothers me the most about that fashion disaster? The lace skirt. It's like the icing on the cake. The most foul and vile cake imaginable. The Hairy Cake.



Also, you never struck me as a *removed for personal safety*


Heh, I'm pretty sure I know what this is about. Though I'll admit, I was a little surprised to see that "Gravekeeper" was not, in fact, the name on his birth certificate.

Imogene
10-20-2007, 03:13 PM
No kidding. You'd think this day and age, companies would arm their security guards with shotguns and chainsaws.


You know what bothers me the most about that fashion disaster? The lace skirt. It's like the icing on the cake. The most foul and vile cake imaginable. The Hairy Cake.

And to shoot for the head, damnit. Teach your officers to shoot for the head!

I was wondering if anyone else would notice the fairly obvious mannequin crotch in the camo picture.

Kara
10-20-2007, 03:16 PM
I was wondering if anyone else would notice the fairly obvious mannequin crotch in the camo picture.

No, but after you mentioned it I had to go back and look :lol:

It's actually a little creepy, considering there's no visible torso, yet the lower half is intact....

unholypet
10-20-2007, 03:17 PM
And to shoot for the head, damnit. Teach your officers to shoot for the head!

I was wondering if anyone else would notice the fairly obvious mannequin crotch in the camo picture.

Sadly, so. I almost wondered what kind of crevace a 2XL would make, and then stopped myself before the bleeding began.

Becks
10-20-2007, 03:33 PM
I.don't think I want that. Please put it back in your pants.

I've said that more often than you'd think. :blink:

Mark Healey
10-20-2007, 06:23 PM
So you can't afford the $170 Timex so you're going for the $725 Timex as well?

There's a $750.00 Timex?

BookstoreEscapee
10-20-2007, 06:40 PM
There are some nice digital models you can get that are within your price range and all they require is turning the crank on a vending machine.

But, I'm disabled!! I can't do that!



I saw one of those mini-infomercial commercials for some item that you could get for "two easy payments of $19.95"...my thinking is, if you can't afford to drop 40 bucks in one shot, perhaps said item is not a necessity and you should be taking a closer look at your priorities...

Broomjockey
10-20-2007, 06:40 PM
Heh, I'm pretty sure I know what this is about. Though I'll admit, I was a little surprised to see that "Gravekeeper" was not, in fact, the name on his birth certificate.

I know. It's like learning John Wayne isn't the real name of the actor! *crushed*
Oh well, at least I know GK and I have something in common besides both being Canadian.

XCashier
10-20-2007, 07:11 PM
There's a $750.00 Timex?
That's what I was thinking. If you're going to drop big money on a watch, it'd better have a big name, like Rolex.

For heaven's sake, you can get a decent watch at Walmart for $9.99! Why do you want to muck about with payments?!
ive heard the 'can just pay 20 bucks a month' thing before, though its usually by people you know are going to get item and run for the hills...
Ah, yes, that would explain it... :mad:

Sliceanddice
10-20-2007, 07:19 PM
you know some of us have wide hips and wear large sizes like 4x and 3x

Pezzle
10-20-2007, 07:20 PM
And to shoot for the head, damnit. Teach your officers to shoot for the head!

I was wondering if anyone else would notice the fairly obvious mannequin crotch in the camo picture.

Or the fairly obvious Photoshop clone brush-a-mabob used to get rid of said mannequin (Notice the camo pattern on the left of the inside of the shirt, how the patterns repeat and on the right look blurry) H ell it looks like they used a translucent brush and just slopped some crappy pattern down.

repsac
10-20-2007, 10:38 PM
That last one reminds me of those new commercials going around from that anti-scam site. My favorite being the "419" one.

rvdammit
10-20-2007, 10:39 PM
And to shoot for the head, damnit. Teach your officers to shoot for the head!

Google Rocket Powered Chainsaw...

BookstoreEscapee
10-20-2007, 10:56 PM
you know some of us have wide hips and wear large sizes like 4x and 3x

but do you wear skin-tight pink camo with and matching miniskirts?

RecoveringKinkoid
10-21-2007, 12:42 AM
This is the object in question:

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/6379/pinkcamodz5.jpg

Of course, thats a small or medium. We do not keep visual representations of 2XL on file for the safety of all involved.

This ought to come with a barcode stamped across the butt. Great googly moogly. Are you telling me this is available in 2X? Egads.

By the way,

"Is this relevant to the plot or are you playing the sympathy card? Make sure you tap 3 White Mana."

I think I ruptured somthing in my nose when I read this.

Spiffy McMoron
10-21-2007, 01:53 AM
Just a reminder that, yes, there is a reason that 2XL clothes are being made. Let's keep things on-task, please.

( The person in front of me shut her down instantly too. Considering he overheard the entire exchange with me. You'd think you'd at least move to someone that wasn't in ear shot. =p )

That reminds me of a story that my roommate told me. She was pulling up to a 4-way stop, when a young woman stepped off the curb, waved to a car that was stopped, and tried to get in the passenger's side. The doors were locked. she couldn't get in

So what does this woman do? She waves towards my roommates car, walks towards the passenger's side door, and tries to open it. :eek:

My roommate drove off. :lol:

FenigDurak
10-21-2007, 02:29 AM
See, I'd wear that shirt. Well, not in pink. You got it in blue camo? I'm a medium. And my birthday is coming up soon. ;)

That reminds me of a story that my roommate told me. She was pulling up to a 4-way stop, when a young woman stepped off the curb, waved to a car that was stopped, and tried to get in the passenger's side. The doors were locked. she couldn't get in

So what does this woman do? She waves towards my roommates car, walks towards the passenger's side door, and tries to open it. :eek:

My roommate drove off. :lol:


This is why I always lock my car doors. My friends laugh at me, but I've had random people on curbs try to get my attention.

Gravekeeper
10-21-2007, 04:03 AM
We have it in pink, green and grey I think. No blue on that item though. -.-

That company actually does have a lot of nice clothes. Its just every here and there......pink camo atrocity. There's pink camo trucker's hats.....

Also, I reserve the right to mock *anyone* that wears a pink camo + lace miniskirt ensemble. Regardless of size. However, there's definitely a difference between being a large person and 4XL pink camo miniskirt. I *will* mock the latter.

I will refrain from the rest of my opinion because I will be Fratching'd. ;p

RecoveringKinkoid
10-21-2007, 04:05 AM
Didn't mean to insult anyone, it's just that it's an ugly outfit. And it's loud enough at a small size. I can't imagine it would be particularly flattering on anyone.

I would file this outfit under "Things that should only be worn by a 14 year old, if at all".

Dressing for your body type is good thing. You will never hear me put down anyone because they are "too big" or whatever. I shut it down if "she sure gained weight" conversations happen around me. Heck, I boycott companies that use too-skinny girls in their advertising. However, based on your body type, there are things you should wear and things you won't look all that great in. Same rule applies to me, and it applies to everyone, regarless of size. A slim teenage girl with small breasts could probably wear this and get away with it. A very curvy bigger girl might be able to pull it off, too, it would depend on various things. I know I couldn't. Anyone bigger or older than me couldn't either. In fact, anyone 10 pounds lighter and 10 years younger probably couldn't get away with it, either.

I'm sorry I came across as being insensitive to people who might be larger, I didn't mean it that way. I really do believe that anyone can be attractive, but we have to flatter our good points and find clothing that is fits well and works with our build. Two of the best dressed women I've ever been friends with were big girls, and one of them was a VERY big girl. Both wore stylish, well-cut clothing that flattered their bodies. Tailored lines, wide belts that accentuated curvy waists, well-propotioned shoes and jewelry. Tasteful.

Gravekeeper
10-21-2007, 04:13 AM
Didn't mean to insult anyone, it's just that it's an ugly outfit. And it's loud enough at a small size. I can't imagine it would be particularly flattering on anyone.

I would file this outfit under "Things that should only be worn by a 14 year old, if at all".

Indeed, its only purpose should be reserved to wiping up oil spills or getting camp fires started.

Sliceanddice
10-21-2007, 08:48 AM
no but the camo would be cute if it was solid pink...

Soulstealer
10-21-2007, 09:14 AM
no but the camo would be cute if it was solid pink...

True, but then it could no longer be called camo. But I'd want it in red or blue, the lace trimming is pretty.

Sliceanddice
10-21-2007, 09:35 AM
oh crap i ment tank stupid me

Gravekeeper
10-21-2007, 09:36 AM
Dressing for your body type is good thing. You will never hear me put down anyone because they are "too big" or whatever. I shut it down if "she sure gained weight" conversations happen around me.

Indeed, in fact I would say dressing for your body type, skin tone, hair colour, face shape etc is the cornerstone of "fashion" as it were. So to be blunt I don't understand why its suddenly off limits to comment on when the person is X shape and wearing Y outfit that is not remotely flattering on them. I don't like Y outfit on X shape in the other direction either. I see nothing attractive about a curtain draped over a hat rack. Someone make that poor girl a sandwich.

I'm certainly not going to put on a camo thong and tube top. Because I know it would frighten small children and make puppies whimper in the night. If for some reason I did ( Gunpoint perhaps ) I'm not going to get offended when you tell me "Oh God, why?!". Because it *does* look hideous on me. But of course no one gives a damn when a man is criticized anyway if he's criticized at all. Men can have the beer gut over a thong and no one cares. So double standard ftw. Not that I have a beer gut. I'm actually built like a tall, hairy girl. Hawt.

But don't hide poor fashion choices behind the illusion of "prejudice". ;p

Rapscallion
10-21-2007, 10:56 AM
Okies, folkies. We made this one invisible for a while while we discussed things. Can we calm it down, please? The point has been made that some people really ought not to wear, but belabouring the point is going to cause a number of people irritation. We're trying for a new tack on moderation of what's acceptable - we don't mind mentions of skin colour and size (as a trial) as long as it's setting the scene. When it becomes overdone, it borders on bias etc.

Rapscallion

GingerBiscuit
10-21-2007, 03:36 PM
This is the object in question:

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/6379/pinkcamodz5.jpg

:help::wtf:

*twitch*

My... brain.... I wouldn't have worn that at 12.

Shironu-Akaineko
10-21-2007, 03:37 PM
You know what bothers me the most about that fashion disaster? The lace skirt. It's like the icing on the cake. The most foul and vile cake imaginable. The Hairy Cake.

I see your Hairy Cake and I raise you one Canadian MoldKing. I take 3 points of Mana and cast "Nail Polish smell"!

Andara Bledin
10-21-2007, 07:57 PM
No kidding. You'd think this day and age, companies would arm their security guards with shotguns and chainsaws. But no, they get a walkie-talkie. Great, now their tortured screams as they are devoured alive can be broadcast throughout the building, alerting everyone else to the horrible fate that awaits them in the lobby.

Heh... that reminds me of one of my favorite lines out of the English dub of Hellsing... spoken by Lady Integra: "They're eating my people" while the vampires play the sound of her guards being used as a midday snack over the radio.

This is why I always lock my car doors. My friends laugh at me, but I've had random people on curbs try to get my attention.

My driver's ed teacher stressed that it was more important to lock your doors while you were in the car, then when you weren't. He had a really good example of why, too: A senior a few years back was stabbed while waiting at a left turn at the street next to the school. The attacker had run up to the driver's side door, yanked it open, and stuck a knife in him, right there.

^-.-^

BookstoreEscapee
10-21-2007, 09:43 PM
We have it in pink, green and grey I think. No blue on that item though. -.-

But do you have it in blue?

:D

yomiko
10-21-2007, 11:16 PM
I'm certainly not going to put on a camo thong and tube top.<...>Because it *does* look hideous on me.

I find your choice of words curious. i.e. it *does* (in actuality) look bad on you as opposed to it *would* (in the hypothetical sense) look bad on you. Is there a story here? And are there any pictures?

Sliceanddice
10-21-2007, 11:38 PM
.... omg i want to see that too...
let me guess ex girlfriend and alot of vodka.... and the promise of sex... AND *ALOT* OF VODKA

Imogene
10-22-2007, 02:57 AM
This is why I always lock my car doors. My friends laugh at me, but I've had random people on curbs try to get my attention.

I found out that my sister in law, one time, as the passenger in my brother's car, looked up out her window, saw a family consisting of a mom & three young kids, and reached up to lock her door. My brother won't let her live that down.

Polenicus
10-22-2007, 12:50 PM
on the other hand, I can see Gravekeeper pulling off "Zaphtan" fairly well :lol:


I am ZAPHTAN, I will consume you whilst you place your order.

We used to have a Math Textbook our Math teacher kept around for yuks that, since the 1950's (The first edition) always used the name 'Zardon' for any male character in the word problems. The later editions we used had pared that down a bit, but he kept that first edition around to read out the original version of the problem whenever we needed a pick-me-up.

(This Math teacher is, I believe, the One True Math God, of which all lesser math teachers were simply twisted, cruel parodies. He made what should have been a mind-numbing subject fun, and was equally adept at teaching advanced or remedial classes. In fact, many of his grade 12 advanced students started off as his grade 8 remedial students. He was even in the BC papers winning an award that acknowledged him as the best math teacher in the known universe)

I think GK could pull off a 'Zardon'. Or even 'Zoltax'. Yeah, 'Zoltax the Destroyer'. With his regal spiked Scepter of Clue-giving.

sms001
10-25-2007, 08:04 PM
I was wondering if anyone else would notice the fairly obvious mannequin crotch in the camo picture.

Thank you Juwl, Kara, Unholy Pet! I wondered about it (mannequin legs but no torso), but decided that noticing was too creepy to bring up. Although I could if pressed, defend myself with "I was trying to avert my eyes from the pink camo!!!"

Sliceanddice
10-25-2007, 08:07 PM
you know i think i know a great name for GK...
... Darios.... suits him no :eyewaggle:

KMMCurly
11-02-2007, 01:09 AM
This is the object in question:

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/6379/pinkcamodz5.jpg

Of course, thats a small or medium. We do not keep visual representations of 2XL on file for the safety of all involved.

Why would anyone even make such a thing?!:burneyes::cry: