What's wrong with this resume?

[hauntedheadnc]

In another post I mentioned that yet again, I was turned down for a job. In the process of venting my frustrations to a friend, he directed me to a fairly important local politician who works at the Employment Security Commission. She looked over my resume and told me that in a polite and diplomatic way that my resume makes me unemployable and that everything is wrong with it.

I figure now, since I obviously don't know how to write a resume, I'm going to have to shell out big bucks to someone with more highly-developed BS skills in order for them to write me a resume that makes me sound like I am more than the low-wage, low-skill grunt that I am. Another forumer, Gurndigarn, suggested that before I spend about $250 on such an endeavor, that I post my resume for critique here. And so here, in a revised form that strips out the personal information, here it is. What's wrong with this resume?

According to the woman at the ESC, some of the things that were wrong with it included the font for my contact information being too small, my email address (hauntedheadnc@yahoo.com) being too personal and not professional enough, that the resume takes up more than a single page, and that it is not functional enough because it lists skills separately based on the jobs which utilized them. She also suggests taking out the "hobbies" listing and making more of an attempt to state how I will help the organization offering the job.

So anyway, here. How bad is it?

----

Contact Information ------- Various and Sundry Information

Objective ------- I hope to find fulfilling employment that can evolve into a
long-term career.

Education

1998 – 2000 ------- Undistinguished Community College ------- Flat Rock, NC

Associate of Science, Travel and Tourism

Business courses included Records Management, Business Law, Business
Presentations, and Business and Professional Writing

Work experience

May, 2002 – Current ------- Blah Inn and Dreadful Inn ------- Hendersonville, NC

Front Desk Clerk

Assumed some managerial duties during owners’ frequent travels.
Assigned to write most business communication.
Provided customer service and resolved guests’ concerns.
Performed minor housekeeping, maintenance, and laundry duties.
Manned a multi-line phone system.

May, 2001 – May, 2002 ------- Anonymous Bookstore ------- Hendersonville, NC

Bookseller

Provided customer service.
Received and shelved stock.
Processed stock to be returned to distributors.

Aug., 2000 – Nov., 2000 ------- Office Supply Store from Hell ------- Hendersonville, NC

Sales Associate

Provided customer service.
Received and shelved stock.
Processed stock to be returned to distributors.
Worked several copiers, fax machines, and laminators in store’s copy shop.

Sep., 1999 – Aug., 2000 ------- Henderson County Library ------- Hendersonville, NC

Library Assistant

Provided customer service.
Shelved books and filed materials.
Repaired damaged books and materials.

Oct., 1997 – Apr., 2000 ------- Anonymous Bookstore ------- Hendersonville, NC

Bookseller

Hobbies ------- I write fiction, and am currently at work on my first novel.

References

Friend One and Friend Two – (000) 000-0000
Couin – (000) 000-0000
Highly-Esteemed Parents of Friend – (000) 000-0000
Current Boss and Husband – (000) 000-0000
Current Coworker and Wife – (000) 000-0000

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That looks a lot like my resume when I was looking for work a couple years ago, and I had no more success than you're having right now.

I guess employers want to see right off the bat how you can help their company and provide what they're looking for. A list of jobs you've held and the duties you performed in them doesn't really do that.

The one-page thing is also apparently a big deal.

Maybe google "resume advice" and see what you come up with.

[hauntedheadnc]

What did you end up doing and how did your resume look afterwards?

[Killer Bees]

Hey Haunted,

Here is my resume attached you can use as a template. I have NEVER failed to get a job with this baby.

All the relevant personal info has been taken out, so feel free to poach whatever you want.

434

[hauntedheadnc]

Hey Haunted,

Here is my resume attached you can use as a template. I have NEVER failed to get a job with this baby.

All the relevant personal info has been taken out, so feel free to poach whatever you want.

434

Thank you very much. It is impressive, but it's a lot more than a single page. Do they make less of a fuss about that in Australia, or are you bucking a trend?

[Killer Bees]

Thank you very much. It is impressive, but it's a lot more than a single page. Do they make less of a fuss about that in Australia, or are you bucking a trend?

You're very welcome :)

Because I mainly go through agencies and do only office jobs, I give the agency lots of info and then they cut it down to suit the client. And recently I applied for a govt job and they pretty much want War and Peace, hence the length.

I think here, every industry is different and I've heard lots of advice from lots of different people on what's "best" for the layout. But the way I've done my resume seems to suit my needs, so it's all good.

I hope what I've given you helps in some way for you to get a job that you will love and be appreciated in. :)

[alogram]

I have always heard that it is VERY important to keep your resume on one page.

Also, I know you have already done this, but I have also always heard that it is important to list references, and do not put "available upon request". Just thought that may help someone else!

Also, another important part is the objective. It should not be too vague, and it should be somewhat of an attention getter. You want your resume to stand out from the rest.

I feel like I am not adequately explaining myself. I hate when that happens! :o

If I think of a better way to explain myself, I add more later!

Sorry if these suggestions are too vague!

[Gurndigarn]

So anyway, here. How bad is it?

Overall, it needs focus. What you have is an application in pre-printed form. What you need is something that sells yourself to the type of job you're really interested in and explains why you would be a valuable employee for them. I put in some general advice. However, before I can give more specific advice, what types of jobs would you like to get? What would you like to do career wise (IE, what jobs would you like to work toward?) Once you have that, then focus your resumé so that it looks appealing to people with those types of jobs.

Note, also, that I'm occasionally a bit blunt. Please don't take this as personal shots, or as a reflection about your abilities. Especially not a reflection on your abilities. I've simply found, from the people who helped me with mine, that trying to sugarcoat issues sometimes leads to problems down the road, and that being upfront is the best approach.

Contact Information ------- Various and Sundry Information


Good. Include an e-mail address, if you didn't. It doesn't get used a lot by employers, but it lets them know you can figure out a computer.

Objective ------- I hope to find fulfilling employment that can evolve into a long-term career.

This is bland, and doesn't really say much. Either remove the section, or make it a bit more specific. IE, what type of employment do you want, what type of career would you like to evelve into, how do you hope to accomplish this, etc.

Education

1998 – 2000 ------- Undistinguished Community College ------- Flat Rock, NC

Associate of Science, Travel and Tourism

Business courses included Records Management, Business Law, Business
Presentations, and Business and Professional Writing

Based on this, I would say that you're looking towards something in a business field. Well, that's too vague and general an observation to be of use to you. However, I guess an important question arises: do you have plans or hopes to make use of this information? If so, what type of career paths can it lead you in AND do you want to take?

Work experience

General observations about this entire section: it covers your duties, but not any benchmarks, goals, or accomplishments. It definitely doesn't tie in to your objective, whatever that may end up being.

The point of this section is to sell yourself to the prospective employers. IE, that you have skills, talents, or attitudes that will help them achieve their goals. So, the first question is, what are you trying to achieve? Then, from that information, what does that type of employer want that you have? Can you demonstrate it by what you have done in the past?

May, 2002 – Current ------- Blah Inn and Dreadful Inn ------- Hendersonville, NC

Front Desk Clerk

Assumed some managerial duties during owners’ frequent travels.
Assigned to write most business communication.
Provided customer service and resolved guests’ concerns.
Performed minor housekeeping, maintenance, and laundry duties.
Manned a multi-line phone system.

May, 2001 – May, 2002 ------- Anonymous Bookstore ------- Hendersonville, NC

Bookseller

Provided customer service.
Received and shelved stock.
Processed stock to be returned to distributors.

Aug., 2000 – Nov., 2000 ------- Office Supply Store from Hell ------- Hendersonville, NC

Sales Associate

Provided customer service.
Received and shelved stock.
Processed stock to be returned to distributors.
Worked several copiers, fax machines, and laminators in store’s copy shop.

Let me break in here. Unless the job you want (or at least A job you want) would need skills developed here, you might want to just omit this job, since it's only four months long. There's a fair gap after this one to the next one, so adding four months into it might not count too much more against you. I don't see a lot about this job that you did that wasn't covered elsewhere

Sep., 1999 – Aug., 2000 ------- Henderson County Library ------- Hendersonville, NC

Library Assistant

Provided customer service.
Shelved books and filed materials.
Repaired damaged books and materials.

Oct., 1997 – Apr., 2000 ------- Anonymous Bookstore ------- Hendersonville, NC

Bookseller


Hobbies ------- I write fiction, and am currently at work on my first novel.


Most employers don't really care about hobbies. Generally, the higher a job you're heading for, the less this section will help you. (At a lower level, they show that you do more than veg in front of a TV. Higher-level just make that assumption, otherwise you wouldn't apply for that job.) Also, while I know how much of your heart and soul goes into writing (I'm the husband of someone who made professional writer status last year, and has lived through having to deal with mood swings caused by having a novel at a publishing house for almost 2 1/2 years now), the process of writing a novel isn't going to add much to your chances. Finshing a novel is better, but it's still not going to impress people who actually know the writing business (especially the slush piles) much.

References

Friend One and Friend Two – (000) 000-0000
Couin – (000) 000-0000
Highly-Esteemed Parents of Friend – (000) 000-0000
Current Boss and Husband – (000) 000-0000
Current Coworker and Wife – (000) 000-0000


Most employers assume that references will be provided at the interview. This is another one that, the higher up you're aiming, the more you want to leave this off. Besides, if you start adding in accomplishments or other things, you may need the space.

[Gurndigarn]

Thank you very much. It is impressive, but it's a lot more than a single page. Do they make less of a fuss about that in Australia, or are you bucking a trend?

Length depends on total experience. Once you hit a certain point, a second page is OK, but most of the people on this board won't have reached that point.

[Pedersen]

hauntedheadnc, I'm going to sound extremely critical of your resume. Please take this entirely as constructive advice, and feel free to toss out that which you feel does not apply to you.

First, general notes: Keeping the resume to one page is becoming highly optional. For entry level office/corporate work, it's better to be on one page. Once you gain sufficient experience, though, your resume will go over one page. That is unavoidable. When it happens, don't fight it too hard.

Second: References. Here in the US, it's customary to have a separate references document, and have "References available on request" on your resume, if you mention it at all. Without it, it's still understood that you will give them when asked, but not before.

Finally, your resume fits the category of what I've heard called a "Chronological Resume". Basically, what you've done, and when. However, that does make it difficult to read for a prospective manager looking for some specific skill sets. Google for "functional resume" to get examples and ideas.

Another tactic is to make a mega-resume, one that lists every single good thing you can even think about for yourself, and not worry about length for this at all. If it runs to 25 pages, then it runs to 25 pages. When you go to send the resume out, you would make a copy of the resume, remove the pieces that don't apply for the job you are applying for, and then send the copy.

That will allow you to tailor the resume to the company/job, which can only help improve your odds.

Now, on to the specifics. Basically, your resume is good for getting retail work. However, for getting corporate/office work, yours would go in the stack of "call only if all others fail to pan out".


Objective ------- I hope to find fulfilling employment that can evolve into a long-term career.


Okay, there's the first issue. This objective is so vague it might as well not be there. Basically, you have, in one sentence, told your prospective manager that you have no idea what you want out of a job.

This is something to tailor on a per-job basis. For instance, if your goal was to get a job with an urban planning commission as an urban planner, then the objective might read something like this (note: off the top of my head, and could be very bad):

Objective: I will have a long-term career working to improve the quality of life in suburban areas by improving the design of suburban areas.

The differences? There's no hope in mine. There's a conscious choice, an action. I "will have". What will I have? What will I do? What will I accomplish? All of these questions are answered in mine. This is what you need to do for yours.


Education

1998 – 2000 ------- Undistinguished Community College ------- Flat Rock, NC

Associate of Science, Travel and Tourism

Business courses included Records Management, Business Law, Business
Presentations, and Business and Professional Writing


Generally speaking, I place education at the end, rather than the beginning. Usually, education doesn't matter so much, except for entry level positions. Even still, you only have the first few paragraphs of the page to make the manager read the rest. Right then and there, education won't matter. Not until he has decided to read the whole resume, and then he can read it.


Assumed some managerial duties during owners’ frequent travels.
Assigned to write most business communication.
Provided customer service and resolved guests’ concerns.
Performed minor housekeeping, maintenance, and laundry duties.
Manned a multi-line phone system.


This list is very sorely lacking for several reasons. The first item almost sounds like a complaint: I took over doing the boss's job when he went out of town, which felt like all the time.

Also, there are very few of what are known as "action" words. Try this version out, and you'll start to see a difference in what I mean:


Executed managerial functions while owner was out of town.
Sent letters to customers regarding their stays in our hotel.
Resolved individual guest concerns and issues through quality customer service.
Assisted in other departments, including housekeeping, maintenance, and laundry.
Routed incoming calls on multi-line phone system.


My version is still likely to be imperfect. However, each item states that you did something, instead of participating in things which just happened around you. Furthermore, by using phrases like "our hotel" it shows that you took ownership of your job, and took pride in it. Finally, it removes what sounds like a complaint.


Provided customer service.
Received and shelved stock.
Processed stock to be returned to distributors.
Provided customer service.
Received and shelved stock.
Processed stock to be returned to distributors.
Worked several copiers, fax machines, and laminators in store’s copy shop.
Provided customer service.
Shelved books and filed materials.
Repaired damaged books and materials.


I did some snippage here, as I wanted you to see what I saw: work that looks like copy and paste. Even if the job was exactly the same as the previous job, you want to phrase it differently. As it stands, it looks like you did a copy/paste job on your job descriptions. If I'm hiring someone, I want them to do more than copy/paste. Having such an impression on the resume can only hurt.

Let's see, for "Provided customer service", try these phrases:


Worked one on one with frequent customers.
Acted as service agent to assist customers.
Assisted customers with various issues.


For "Received and shelved stock", try these:


Received various stock items and placed them in the appropriate locations throughout the store.
Shelved incoming stock items.
Unpacked boxes of stock into their proper shelf locations.


Those are all off the top of my head. I think you can start to see the pattern, though: Use action words. Provide light description. And puff up your importance. Keep in mind one very important thing: You were there and working because you were doing a job. Without you, that job would not have been done.

You might not have been the most important person in the company. But you were the most important person for that job. Make sure that comes across in your resume.


Hobbies ------- I write fiction, and am currently at work on my first novel.


I would only put the hobbies in if it is relevant to the job you are seeking. For instance, on my resume, I have a hobbies section, but that is because I'm a computer geek (just check out my other posts/threads, and you'll see). I only send my resume in for computer jobs. It's relevant.

So, unless writing fiction is relevant to the job you are applying for, leave it out. Give them something different to ask you about in the interview.

Final Note: Some will disagree with me about being the most important person in your job, as they will point out that any job can be done by somebody else equally as qualified. What is important to remember is that even though you can be replaced, and have been replaced at jobs you have left, you were not replaced while you did the job.

In other words, you were there because the company felt you were the right person for that job. You were the most important person to be doing that job. Without those sentiments being felt by your managers, you would not have been doing that job, and would have been looking for work.

Remember that. And please, also remember that even though I might well come across overly harsh in this critique, I am trying to help. I do apologize if I offended, that was not my intent.

I'd post my own resume, but I'm in the midst of re-writing it. I just saw a new format for a computer guy's resume that completely kicks ass, and so very much want to use it. I'll post it in a few days when it's done, though.

[morgana]

Personally, I rewrite my resume for every job I apply to. I have a template that lists all my accomplishments in each of my jobs for the last fifteen years, but for each application I go through and pick and choose which accomplishments that job would be most likely to need.

For example, applying to my current job, my resume stressed the research aspects of all of my jobs.

And yes, my resume is two pages. You can get away with length if your accomplishments are focused on the job you're applying for. Yours may not need it. (Also, I'd bet I have a much longer career to list than you do, from the sound of things.)

Hobbies? Only if some experience in the hobby is relevant to the job you want. Example: my only supervisory experience and half my editing experience are SCA-related. So the SCA gets included in my work experience, but there is no "hobby" listing.

References are provided if they ask for them. And again, they will sometimes change depending on what the job is I'm applying for. If I know someone at the job site, or in the same field, I'll ask if they're willing to be a reference, obviously.

One thing all the advice columns stress: Use action verbs. Wrote, saved, managed, resolved, edited, published . . . For example (in your resume): managed hotel during owner's travels, wrote most of business' correspondence, resolved guest concerns.

And don't forget the thank-yous! :angel:

Hope this helped.


Morgana

[hauntedheadnc]

At this point, I have neither the time nor the luxury to be offended. I just want to get a decent resume put together so I can get out of motel hell. This place is killing me. There are hundreds of reasons I could list for you as to why I need to get out immediately, but I won't. Thank you for your suggestions that will help me build a resume that can take me where I want to go.

[hauntedheadnc]

Is this any better? I googled "functional resume" and used an example to structure my own. I hope I can manage to cobble something respectable together rather than have to spend what amounts to more than 2/3rds of a week's pay to have a professional write it for me.

This version still topped out at slightly more than a page, so I was thinking of just going ahead and adding the references to the end to give the second page more weight.

Is this okay or am I still doomed by a bad resume?

--------------

(Contact info, including a more professional email address)

OBJECTIVE

I will contribute to your company’s success through the use of exceptional customer service and business communication skills.

QUALIFICATIONS

• Exceptional dependability and adaptability.
• Dedication and drive as a hard-working individual.
• Superlative written communication skills.
• Ability to manage multiple tasks in a detail-oriented, pressured environment.

PROFESSIONAL SKILLS

CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS

• Delivered excellent customer service while employed in the retail and hospitality industries by interacting with customers and guests to determine how to best meet their needs.
• Assured consistent high quality by writing to hotel guests and resolving their concerns and issues.
• Prepared a well-received tourist information guide for the Blah Inn of Hendersonville.

MANAGERIAL AND SUPERVISORY SKILLS

• Oversaw hotel operations during owners’ international travels, including managing petty cash and hotel breakfast inventory.
• Wrote all official hotel communication with credit card companies and the hotel corporate office.

COMPUTER AND TECHNICAL SKILLS

• Proficient in Microsoft Word, WordPerfect, and Windows
• Can quickly learn and adapt to use new computer programs as a job demands.
• Fast and accurate typist (85 wpm)
• Proficient in the use of various copiers, fax machines, and laminators

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

• Front desk clerk, Blah and Dreadful Inns, Hendersonville, NC, 5/02 to Present
• Bookseller, Anonymous Bookstore, Hendersonville, NC, 5/01 – 5/02
• Sales associate, Office Supply Store from Hell, Hendersonville, NC, 8/02 – 11/02
• Library assistant, Henderson County Public Library, Hendersonville, NC, 9/99 – 8/00
• Bookseller, Anonymous Bookstore, Hendersonville, NC, 10/97 – 4/00

EDUCATION

Undistinguished Community College, Flat Rock, NC – 2000
Associate of Science, Travel and Tourism

REFERENCES

Gladly provided upon request.

[Seshat]

Objective is still too vague. What do you want to do for you?

What is your (work) goal in life? Do you want to become a financial guru? A brilliant HR person who can identify the right person for each job and resolve interpersonal issues? An amazing customer service dudette who can solve every customer problem ever?

Then for each job you're applying for, modify your objective so that it fits with the company. For instance, if you picked financial guru and are applying for a job in an international logistics firm, say (a more professional-sounding version of) 'I want to become a financial guru, and developing a full understanding of tariffs, customs arrangements, and the international flow of money will help me achieve my goal.'

As for the font and font size, remember that some HR people are likely to be middle aged or older, and to have imperfect vision. I was looking at the submission requirements for a literary magazine once, and one of their requirements was '14 point, serifed font such as courier', and they explained it because their senior editor had failing vision and if she was going to read the submissions, they had to be in a size and font she found readable.

I would recommend 12 point and a clear, crisp font such as arial (sans serif) or courier (serif), simply because 10 point is too small for someone with failing sight, and once you hit 14 point you're starting to lose the ability to keep to one page.

The rest of your resume is much better, btw.

Move the tourist guide to the top of its section, it's impressive. If you have any documentation as to how well it was received, make a copy of it and keep it in your brag book*. Keep a copy of the tourist guide itself in the brag book, and have a few copies kept in your 'interview folio' to hand out.

If you wrote all official hotel communication, cut the sentence off there. Currently it reads as if you only wrote the communication with the credit card companies and corporate.

Windows is correctly called 'Microsoft Windows'. It's also an operating system, and the other two are programs. Lumping them all together makes me wonder 'does she know the difference between an OS and a program?' It might not matter so much outside the IT industry, but I'm an IT geek.

Improved phrasing for IT would be 'Proficient in the use of Microsoft Windows, and in office programs including Microsoft Word and WordPerfect.' (I'm sure you're able to use other office programs you haven't thought of including - maybe an email program, maybe an appointment calendar. This phrasing gives you credit for them, without explicitly stating them.)

On a purely formatting note: either put fullstops at the end of each phrase, or at the end of none of them. Don't put them at the end of some but not others.


* You do have a brag book, don't you? If not, make one. One of those folders or spiral-bound books with transparent pockets for assorted certificates, school reports, references, achievements like your tourist brochure. Fill it with that sort of stuff. Keep it in one of those business-like folio things you can get at office stores, and also stuff copies of your resume, your references, and samples of particularly good work in that folio. Take it with you to every interview. If you make yourself some business cards, keep a few of those in the folio too. This makes you look terribly organised and efficient.

[Cutenoob]

OBJECTIVE

I will contribute to your company’s success through the use of exceptional customer service and business communication skills. How about...
To assist this company's success by use of exceptional customer service and business communication skills.

QUALIFICATIONS

• Exceptional dependability and adaptability.
• Dedication and drive as a hard-working individual.
• Superlative written communication skills.
• Ability to manage multiple tasks in a detail-oriented, pressured environment.

What exact position are you shooting for? All of those qualifications above are EXPECTED in the workforce, assumed to be there. Try stuff like : ability to multi-task, exceptional under pressure...And Have Stories To Back them UP!

PROFESSIONAL SKILLS

CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS

• Delivered excellent customer service while employed in the retail and hospitality industries by interacting with customers and guests to determine how to best meet their needs.
• Assured consistent high quality by writing to hotel guests and resolving their concerns and issues.
• Prepared a well-received tourist information guide for the Blah Inn of Hendersonville.

MANAGERIAL AND SUPERVISORY SKILLS

• Oversaw hotel operations during owners’ international travels, including managing petty cash and hotel breakfast inventory.
• Wrote all official hotel communication with credit card companies and the hotel corporate office.

COMPUTER AND TECHNICAL SKILLS

• Proficient in Microsoft Word, WordPerfect, and Windows
• Can quickly learn and adapt to use new computer programs as a job demands.
• Fast and accurate typist (85 wpm)
• Proficient in the use of various copiers, fax machines, and laminators

Pretty good here..Which versions of Windows are you talking about?
Any mainframe experience?
Any proprietary hotel software experience?
SABRE? Reservations software?
Inventory?
Were you IT when the boss needed one?

Speaking of boss....how far did your responsibilities reach when boss was away?
Bank deposits? Balance safe? Start/ end tills? Food inventory, ordering? Software to do so? Relations/liaison for vendor??

Put your publishing at the top. How did you create it? Software? name it!!!


EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

• Front desk clerk, Blah and Dreadful Inns, Hendersonville, NC, 5/02 to Present
• Bookseller, Anonymous Bookstore, Hendersonville, NC, 5/01 – 5/02
• Sales associate, Office Supply Store from Hell, Hendersonville, NC, 8/02 – 11/02
• Library assistant, Henderson County Public Library, Hendersonville, NC, 9/99 – 8/00
• Bookseller, Anonymous Bookstore, Hendersonville, NC, 10/97 – 4/00

EDUCATION

Undistinguished Community College, Flat Rock, NC – 2000
Associate of Science, Travel and Tourism

REFERENCES

Gladly provided upon request.

so far...tune it up a bit, but good start... Make sure your dates on the resume are aligned so someone can scan downwards and see them ding ding ding....

Cute

[hauntedheadnc]

I'm not aiming for any specific position at the moment. I just need a resume that doesn't suck. If something very specific presents itself, I can tweak it where I need to. In the meantime, I've taken out the objective completely to make it all fit on a single page, and also because in every job I've ever held the objective of some poor sap's resume was nothing more than a source of amusement for everyone who looked at the resume. Frankly a resume is a big scoop of bullshit especially in cases like mine where you have to puff up every little thing you've done to make it sound as though you actually have some talent. The objective is the little cherry on top.

By the way... My sole talent is writing. I can't figure out a way to basically state that if you want something written, I'm your man. I'll write like a mutha until something hurts. Give me your poorly written business letters, and I will translate them from gibberish to English. God knows I do it all the time for my current boss. I've stressed this a couple of times in the resume, but I can't figure out how to keep subtly harping on it.

[Seshat]

By the way... My sole talent is writing. I can't figure out a way to basically state that if you want something written, I'm your man. I'll write like a mutha until something hurts. Give me your poorly written business letters, and I will translate them from gibberish to English. God knows I do it all the time for my current boss. I've stressed this a couple of times in the resume, but I can't figure out how to keep subtly harping on it.

Don't be subtle. Include in your brag book examples of everything you've had published, including printouts of employer's web pages that you wrote the text for, that tourist brochure, and any fiction that's gone through an editor and been published.

Find volunteer organisations that need someone to write their web pages or other documents. Write for them while you're jobhunting, and include things you write for them in your brag book.

In the resume, include 'wrote press releases for X', 'wrote the text for Y's web presence', and so on.

[Gurndigarn]

Is this okay or am I still doomed by a bad resume?

It's no longer bland. Could use some tweaking, but you've got something that won't get roundfiled immediatly.

One question, though. You mentioned that writing is your strong point. Think for a bit. Do you have any other skills or talents that you think businesses might be interested in, even ones that might not be apparent right away? Most people have more than one talent that's sellable— just most people don't think of it as a sellable ability.

OBJECTIVE

I will contribute to your company’s success through the use of exceptional customer service and business communication skills.

Hmm.... though it's a bit better, it's still a bit like a politician's promise. It says a lot and means nothing.

Objectives are usually egocentric. They talk, in very short form, about the applicant's goals and aspirations. The goals part ("Seek [job] in [industry]") are to pre-screen employers ("if you don't have this job or one related to it, don't waste our time by calling me"), and the aspirations are to puff out the applicant ("and I'm looking for fast-paced, growth-oriented companies, too! And I'm planning on running my own department within five years, probably less! And I eat competitors for breakfast! Rrrrawrrr!")

QUALIFICATIONS

• Exceptional dependability and adaptability.
• Dedication and drive as a hard-working individual.
• Superlative written communication skills.
• Ability to manage multiple tasks in a detail-oriented, pressured environment.

Since the communication part is one of your selling points, move it to the top.

PROFESSIONAL SKILLS

CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS

• Delivered excellent customer service while employed in the retail and hospitality industries by interacting with customers and guests to determine how to best meet their needs.
• Assured consistent high quality by writing to hotel guests and resolving their concerns and issues.
• Prepared a well-received tourist information guide for the Blah Inn of Hendersonville.

"Prepared a well-received tourist information guide of the Hendersonvill area used by the Blah Inn." And move it up one rung on this list.

MANAGERIAL AND SUPERVISORY SKILLS

• Oversaw hotel operations during owners’ international travels, including managing petty cash and hotel breakfast inventory.
• Wrote all official hotel communication with credit card companies and the hotel corporate office.

"Wrote all official hotel communication, including communication with customers, hotel corporate office, and suppliers." (If the supplier's part is true. CC companies are a supplier, in this case.) Possibly move it above the oversight part, if you're more interested in promoting your writing abilities above managerial ones.

COMPUTER AND TECHNICAL SKILLS

• Proficient in Microsoft Word, WordPerfect, and Windows

Others have mentioned Windows... drop it, at least from this bullet point, OR add a bit: "Proficient in Microsoft Word and WordPerfect, and knowledgable in the underworkings of Microsoft Windows (or whatever. This is a rough, off-the-top-of-the-head thing.)

Do you have experience with any other office programs, even if you don't consider yourself proficient? If so, you could possibly include "Familiar with Excel, Photoshop, etc."

• Can quickly learn and adapt to use new computer programs as a job demands.
• Fast and accurate typist (85 wpm)
Daaa-yamn! Not bad.
• Proficient in the use of various copiers, fax machines, and laminators

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

• Front desk clerk, Blah and Dreadful Inns, Hendersonville, NC, 5/02 to Present
• Bookseller, Anonymous Bookstore, Hendersonville, NC, 5/01 – 5/02
• Sales associate, Office Supply Store from Hell, Hendersonville, NC, 8/02 – 11/02
• Library assistant, Henderson County Public Library, Hendersonville, NC, 9/99 – 8/00
• Bookseller, Anonymous Bookstore, Hendersonville, NC, 10/97 – 4/00

EDUCATION

Undistinguished Community College, Flat Rock, NC – 2000
Associate of Science, Travel and Tourism


If you're planning on staying in the tourism/travel industry, move this section up above work history. If you're planning on heading into something seriously office-based and not in the travel industry (IE, where it's not applicable to the job), it might be worth dropping.

REFERENCES

Gladly provided upon request.

This part is understood. I recommend leaving it out, but bring your references on a separate page to the interview.

[Seshat]

Actually, if writing is your skill, think of this as an exercise in non-fiction writing.

Your audience is a person looking for a self-motivated, competent person with a skillset useful to them.

Your subject is a self-motivated, competent person with a useful skillset.

Your task is to prove the skillset, self-motivation and competence, within a format as structured and rule-bound as a sonnet.

Go to it!

[Pedersen]

Is this okay or am I still doomed by a bad resume?


This is a major improvement. A couple of smaller tweaks should help out immensely. As it stands, this would show more results than before, definitely.


OBJECTIVE

I will contribute to your company’s success through the use of exceptional customer service and business communication skills.


I see from other replies that you have removed this, and that's fine. If you do put it back in future, though, consider this: The objective is (supposedly) not about the company, but about you. What do you want and need to be happy in a job?

As I said, supposedly, it's about you. But you have to tailor it a bit for each job to make sure that your wants and needs could be met by the job you're applying for.


QUALIFICATIONS

• Exceptional dependability and adaptability.
• Dedication and drive as a hard-working individual.
• Superlative written communication skills.
• Ability to manage multiple tasks in a detail-oriented, pressured environment.


As others have noted: These are expected to be in most everybody who tries to enter corporate america. With some re-wording (again, that others have noted), these can still be used, though:

Superlative written communication skills
Strong multi-tasker with ability to handle details
Passion to get the job done properly
Exceptional self-starter


PROFESSIONAL SKILLS


I snipped this section out. Based on my reading of this, and the above, you would now be in my "call up" pile. I'd want to find out if you are the right candidate for the job opening.


EDUCATION


I'd leave this in if only for one reason: You completed your degree. That shows a willingness to stick to something which can be unpleasant and get it done. It reinforces what you've listed under your qualifications.


REFERENCES


And this I would remove, unless you need it to fill space.

All in all, a *much* stronger resume than you had before. Perfect? No, definitely not. But it would land you in the call back pile, instead of the round file. Very nice changes.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Everyone is giving some really excellent advice, particularly Pedersen. You're definately getting there with this thing, and I feel confident when we are done picking you apart, you will have an excellent resume.

I would like to expand some points made by Morgana. Sometimes you can word your hobbies so that they are no longer hobbies, they are skills. Some of her experience is SCA related. Quite a bit of mine is, and, I'm a little embarassed to admit, LARP related. No matter. A skill is a skill. And this is not so much about what you have done as it is about what you are capable of. And modesty and self-doubt have no place here. You have to toot your horn. This has worked for me, it's worked for my husband, and it's worked for friends who've we've helped put together resumes.

What are your skills and hobbies? And I don't mean pertinent ones, I mean ALL OF THEM? You have skills you are not thinking about here. Here are some examples of what I mean. I will list the raw material first, then how we presented it:

Published a little 8 page newsletter about SCA fencing: "Editor and publisher of 8- page monthly publication that ran for several years. In charge of layout, printing, and distribution. Oversaw staff of 4, plus guest writers.

Helped a guy make and sell jewelry at SCA events: Worked as craftsman creating metalworks, oversaw selling on distribution of same.

Ran a LARP: Ran entertainment business at conventions, usually with 100+ participants. Not only designed all creative (signage, forms, handouts, rulebooks, etc) but also handled money, service, and customer issues.

See what I mean? Hell, you can put anything if you are creative enough. Watch this:

Got together a bunch of friends and went rafting down the Nantahala: "Organized large corporate group (hey, a lot of friends from work went. And SCAdians. The SCA is incorporated, right?) for summer outing. Managed reservations, lodging, all monies, etc for 40+ people."

I didn't tell a single lie here. Not one. Was I hired to wrangle a large group of people? No, of course not. Could I? Obviously, I could. It was a great trip.

Think hard. Be creative. If you need help making your stuff look sexy, lay it out here and we'll help you.

Don't sell yourself short. You are more than your job.

Also, when you are done, practice explaining yourself. If you have to lay a little sugar glaze down in an interview, practice doing it for friends until you can do it without a hint of nervousness. Confidence! After all, you rock and you know it, and so should they, right?

[magiccat26]

Just to give you some background, I used to work for a staffing company and I'm very familiar with what makes a resume "pop out".

Remember, most companies now have automated systems that search for resumes. These systems work on Boolean logic and search for matching keywords.

If an employer is looking for a writer with great computer skills, they might tupe in "writer AND ms word OR ms office". The database will then search for any resumes with these matching keywords and then rank them based on which resumes have these keywords 1) appear the most ofter 2) appear at the top of the page...etc.

In today's modern job search, your resume should be written to maximize the "hits" you receive from an automated search.

Also, an "objective" is NOT necessary on a resume.

Hope this helps!

[hauntedheadnc]

The resume may not be perfect, but it was enough to impress the politician, who wrote me back to congratulate me on being such a fast worker and who says she'll keep it on file in case any of her business-owner contacts in her political party need anyone.

Edit: I really have taken out absolutely everything that I could to make this thing fit onto one page. The politician thought that was important. No objective, no hobbies, although in reading this, perhaps if the topic were to come up at an interview I could use the wording methods here. Not that it would. Aside from fiction writing, really my only other talent is that I can, if given enough time, take a decent photograph. That's really it. A lifetime spent trying to blend into the background is catching up with me, I think.

[Reyneth]

That's really it. A lifetime spent trying to blend into the background is catching up with me, I think.

When overseeing a corporate or business event, you are able to remain unobtrusive so as to not interfere with the event while still remaining available to troubleshoot any problems.

Sorry, just another vote as to 'you can spin nearly anything to make it seem more like a job skill or ability.'

Do NOT be so down on yourself. I know it's hard. I was there. And while I'm now at the stepping stone to where I'd like to go (and desperate to get to the next stone that's bigger w/out the water rushing over top of it), I still feel that way sometimes. But know you can do this. Don't look at it like you are doing this because you have to get out of your current job but more as you are ready for something new and exciting and with more potential. It's not as negative and you don't feel quite as desperate about it! lol

Congrats on the compliment from the politician, and keep at it now, you've gotten a great start!

[digilight]

HH, Basically you are selling yourself on that one sheet of paper. You need it to be able to stand out from the rest. You need to be able to include information on there that will be relevant to the types of jobs and companies that you are applying with.

Experience is great, but from what I've done is listing a brief description of your position for that company and then have an experience section. If you have experience in certain types of office equipment then include that. If you have certain types of experience in software then list that.

For example someone working the counter at kinkos could say: Operated numerous copy machines and binding machines.

Or you could say: Proffeciant in numerous types of network printer technology allowing me to follow a job from womb to tomb including all stages of production from file preperation, printing, and bindery operations for both large and small projects on critical deadlines.

If you know FAS (Financial Accounting) type systems then that helps you out. Note the software and applications. DONT OVER EXAGERATE HERE, you don't want to say that you are an expert in excel and then have to ask how to to simple formulas.

And you're objective needs to show that you have done some research into their company. This part is stating why you think you would be a good addition to their team.