What are some tricks to pass these lame questionnaires on applications?

[MoonChild2007]

Its like they don't WANT to hire anybody! I hate these stupid q&as. It doesn't prove a damn thing! Anyways, how in the world do people pass these things? Do we have kiss the companies asses and LIE? I don't understand! I want a DAMN JOB but these idiot companies are making hard!

[chops]

The question I have is, are these pop-psych tests they give people actually effective at weeding out the bad apples? I've only taken a couple of these, so my experience with them is fairly limited. I didn't like the cookie-cutter approach these seem to take; I saw these tests as seeking out a specific personality...one of a conformist automaton.

I'm guessing that in actuality, the use of these tests is to narrow down large numbers of applications with a minimal amount of human interaction.

[GolfCart34]

The trick I found was this: those questionnaires are usually like your standard SAT test with the five dots to fill in ranging from "Strongly Agree" to "Strongly Disagree." Anyway, I was given one of these tests at a short lived seasonal job and the hiring manager basically told me to only put marks in the second and fourth dots (i.e. agree or disagree) and it would be a guaranteed pass. I did that and sure enough I got a good enough score, whatever that meant.

I hated the one when I worked for a brief time at Wal-Mart. The hiring manager basically grilled me on the questions that I answered that didn't meet with their opinion of status quo. Some of them were really obscure too, like about why I though drinking on the job was bad. Uh, because it's stupid and dangerous? You would think the answer would be commons sense.

The pop psyche test that my work gave took a different approach. They had two sheets of paper that had various check boxes. The first page was how you see yourself and the other was how you think others perceive you. They then use that information to determine if you would be a good fit for the job and if you would be a good fit for the particular branch you end up at. Surprisingly the test is extremely accurate as it described my personality almost to a t. More companies should really consider using that test over the stupid ones they tend to use now.

[Fawn]

I never seem to pass those tests. lmao

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

you gotta lie a little, you know what they want to hear, tell them that, mine wasn't even mentioned in my interview

[blas87]

Tis all about the consistency, my dear friend. These tests have a way of asking the same question or stating the same statement 100 different ways. It is up to you to answer them all the same. Read them thoroughly and understand that question 12 is the same as question number 1, just worded differently, or a trick question. You may have to lie and pretend you love people and love working with others.

[Camry178]

Just answer the questions the way you believe the company would want you to answer them...So yes, lie.

Only people smart enough to lie are gonna pass these tests which is stupid because why would a company want somebody like that? But it makes them feel better to see a possible new-hire get a high score on those damn tests.

I remember when I first took mine years ago. I couldn't stop laughing. They do ask the same question five different ways to try to trip you up. And honest answers that normal folks would find nothing wrong with would get you a low score.

These tests are just dumb.:confused:

[Listerfiend]

They don't really test anything other than your ability to answer questions with replies a company would like to hear. Your shot at getting employed pretty much depends on lying. And has been stated, you need to watch out and answer consistently for the ones that are repeated, and stick with "strongly agree" and "strongly disagree" because supposedly putting anything else makes you look like you can't make decisions (which is dumb, but that's the assessment).

The worst questions on them, though, are the ones like "I will not smoke marijuana/drink/steal/whatever on the job again" because it doesn't give an option of "I'm not stupid enough to do that on the job" and either way you answer it'll make you look like a bad person.

[Crosshair]

Yes, on those tests you need to not only lie, but lie consistently. As mentioned before, they will try and trick you.

[Plaidman]

As mangement I get to see applications. The head corp has basically put down a statement on what is 'unhirable' to what is 'hirable' though they don't use that exact quote.

Basically, the best way to get a job in retail are the following.

1: Rat out all co-workers, even if they steal a jelly bean and are the owner of the business.

2: Be willing to work all hours, any day, any time.

3: Work for crap money.

4: If co-worker steals a penny, rat them out.

5: Customers are gods. If they steal, it was obviously a mistake on YOUR half.

6: Yes, you CAN work 8 straight hours on your feet with no break.


Those are baaaasically what they wanna hear.

[NightAngel]

May I interject a story from my day today?

I screened my applicants yesterday and there was a guy who FAILED the test miserably. I can't even sneeze in his general direction which is absolutely FINE by me as this was our conversation when he came in today:

Everything he says just sounds smug and rude and he's in my face- I hate that.

Him: "You da manager?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "My name is John Doe- I put in my application yesterday."
(I remembered the name since he'd posted his application in ALL CAPS.)

Him: "When do I start this job?"

Me: :*picks up jaw*

Me: "Actually, there is an interview process."
Him: "There is?"
(You don't automatically get a job just because you put in an application...duuuhhhh.)
Me: "Yes, there is. Do you remember that test you took?"
Him: *smugly* "Yeaaahh." (said as though *I* was the stupid one):rolleyes:
Me: "You scored quite low and I cannot even give you an interview."
Him: "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"
Me: "It seems to be quite possible since that's the way it is. You are more than welcome to wait three months and then try again."
Him: *mutters something and storms out*

As an employer I can honestly say that test has saved me from some real, uhm, winners.
And, yes, I know some decent candidates may fall through the cracks.
Plus, there are SO many applications it would take me hours to review each one and decide who to interview without it. I don't have the time to do that so even without it some good candidates would probably fall through the cracks.

The longer I do this job the more I :heart: that test.
It's been my savior more than once...

[CancelMyService]

I've found out that if you put down that you never stole anything from work, that's a bad answer. The line of thought is that everyone's taken a pen or something small home from work so saying you never stole anything is a lie and means you shouldn't be hired.

[Rubystars]

The main things I see asked about are stealing, alcohol, and drugs.

There are other things too like "Sometimes I like to slack off a little on the job" Strongly Agree, Strongly disagree, etc. You're supposed to strongly disagree.

There's another one that says something like "I never fake a smile" or "I don't fake being happy" You're supposed to strongly disagree with that one.

[Misanthropical]

I answer the way I think they want me to answer and have always gotten the job.

[crazylegs]

There's another one that says something like "I never fake a smile" or "I don't fake being happy" You're supposed to strongly disagree with that one.

Good lord, do these companies expect us to just be constantly happy little robots that don't ever get riled by idiots aka customers. Ah, yes they do.

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

6: Yes, you CAN work 8 straight hours on your feet with no break.

not in Alaska, state law says you have to have a 30 min break every 6 hours, so if you work 8 hours straight your employer would legally have to discipline you

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

Good lord, do these companies expect us to just be constantly happy little robots that don't ever get riled by idiots aka customers. Ah, yes they do.

it's a double negative, you're disagreeing that you never do it, which means you do it

[JustADude]

1: Rat out all co-workers, even if they steal a jelly bean and are the owner of the business.

Frankly, most places worth working for that have bulk candy accept employee snaking as inevitable and just throw it in as a perk with guidelines to try and control it. As an employee, I look for jobs with those little perks as telltales that there might be some hope for good management and corporate policy...

Oh, and wouldn't the owner be exempt from theft since he, well, OWNS it already?

2: Be willing to work all hours, any day, any time.

Not so much an issue for me, being full-time, but my "official" availability is 2pm-6am, which lets me sleep the same hours every day but means I actually have 3-4 different shifts I might be called in for.

3: Work for crap money.

Yeah, THAT'S an issue. If they pay doesn't make ends meet, or it's W:$ (Work-to-pay) ratio is crap, then it's just better to walk. That being said, a job that makes ends meet but not much more, but is hella easy, is just fine with me. You're not being paid much, but you're not doing much either.

4: If co-worker steals a penny, rat them out.

I catch them till-dipping, scarfing anything but bulk/fountain product (see point #1), or stealing merch, yeah, they're getting reported, but that's not going to be just a penny.

Giving a customer $10 when their change was $9.99, not so much, even though the McHell I worked at considered it the exact same as till-dipping.

5: Customers are gods. If they steal, it was obviously a mistake on YOUR half.

Again, any place worth working for (repeat, worth working for) is going to want you to do everything you can to PREVENT shoplifting.

6: Yes, you CAN work 8 straight hours on your feet with no break.

Actually, yes, I can. :p

[Greenday]

Last time I actually got an interview, I was asked the question, "What do you think is one of your worst traits?" How the hell do you answer that question? Either you answer truthfully, and sound bad, or you answer and try to bs it into making it no big deal, in which case you sound full of bs.

[Seshat]

The worst questions on them, though, are the ones like "I will not smoke marijuana/drink/steal/whatever on the job again" because it doesn't give an option of "I'm not stupid enough to do that on the job" and either way you answer it'll make you look like a bad person.

That's a logical fallacy called a 'complex question'.
I honestly don't know what to suggest you do about it - the reaction I want to have to finding something like that in a questionnaire is to snort, put the questionnaire down, and walk out immediately. Saying something like 'I refuse to work for a company stupid enough to put a complex question in the hiring questionnaire.'

Unfortunately, if you need a job badly enough . . . :(

[Rapscallion]

Moved to the advice section, mostly because I'm a stealthy ninja.

Rapscallion

[Rubystars]

Good lord, do these companies expect us to just be constantly happy little robots that don't ever get riled by idiots aka customers. Ah, yes they do.

Yes, but the question addresses a problem. I used to literally not be able to fake a smile, at least not very well. I'm much better at it now.

In retail or customer service type jobs, you're supposed to be friendly and happy with customers. Customer service requires that people fake being pleased to see the customer.

If you're applying for a cashier job or something then they don't want someone who can't act unfortunately.

[matty]

Last time I actually got an interview, I was asked the question, "What do you think is one of your worst traits?" .

Hi Greenday. This is another version of the classic interview question "What are your weaknesses?", which usually comes immediately after "What are your greatest strengths?".

The strengths question should be fairly easy to answer, but with the worst traits/weaknesses questions, well, frankly, this is where you really see that job interviews are something of a "game". The fact is, the interviewer does not actually expect you to say something like "I often sleep in for hours" or "I hate working with customers/co-workers".

The standard advice is to either:
A) Mention something that is really a strength - e.g. I sometimes get obsessed with making sure everything is perfect.
OR
B) Mention something that is a weakness, but not too important, and something you are working on - often a "technical" skill that is a minor requirement. E.g. "I know that occasionally I will have to use XYZ software version 10.1, which I only have a little experience with, but I am learning it now and have lots of experience with version 9.8"

You get the idea. Personally, I would always choose option B - it just doesn't sound as silly as option A.

This is all just my opinion, of course. :)

[JustADude]

You get the idea. Personally, I would always choose option B - it just doesn't sound as silly as option A.

This is all just my opinion, of course. :)

I go with Option C: Mention a weakness that, while non-trivial, is irrelevant (or even becomes a bonus) to the job at hand. An example I have used successfully for a call-center* is "If there's absolutely nothing obvious to do I tend to not go looking for make-work tasks to fill the time." Since there was all of like 30 seconds between calls during the preinterview call-monitoring session I was placed in, that weakness becomes a total non-issue.

*Had an offer extended, but there was an issue with my background check since I'd forgotten to put my one misdemeanor conviction (A business pressed charges for a bounced check instead of trying to contact me to get it fixed, even though my correct phone# and address were on the check) down on my application, since most places are only interested in felonies.