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View Full Version : You, Sir, Have Just Won the "Hell-bent on Being a Douche" Award


B&NGoddess
11-26-2007, 03:09 PM
please step forward and claim your prize, which is this awesome trophy. and by "awesome" i mean "sharp and pointy" and by "trophy" i mean "stick to the rectum."

old guy comes up, blatantly ignoring the aisle that has been cleared for the line. "I cant even get through here!" he shouts, knocking fixtures around.

"well sir, thats because youre not supposed to. the line forms over here, where theres an aisle," our headcashier, m, says.

"its like a garbage dump! what if i was in a wheelchair?"

"theres more than enough room in the aisle for a wheelchair sir."

"i dont know how you expect a wheelchair to come through here!" he slams his book down at m's register.

"im sorry sir, my register's closed, but j can help you."

slams his book down at j's register. "no he can't. he cant do nothin'."

me and m look at each other. j ignores him. "actually, sir, j can do just about anything."

"no he cant. if it werent for that register he wouldnt be able to give me correct change. he cant do nothin."

"oh wow, sir, youre pretty knowledgeable about people you dont even know," m says, and i know its about to get ugly.

"yeah well being 83 years old gives me a lot of wisdom."

"well, my great grandma was 100."

"you wont live that long."

"maybe, but with all the medical advancements made by people like j, maybe i will live to be 100."

"naw, young people are the first to go. they cant do nothin."

"seventy two cents is your change, sir," is the first and only j says during the whole thing.

as the old guy starts walking out, m shouts "well, you have a fantastic day, sir."

just before the door closes on him, i ask j loudly how his rocket science class is coming.

1030 is too early in the morning for this shit. the "its like a garbage dump!" comment is now a running gag. its funny that this guy targeted j to pick on. j's in advanced calculus, has a 5.0 gpa (yes, thats a 5) and was just accepted to purdue on a full academic scholarship. the only thing j said about it was that he wished his grandpa was there. hes an ex marine and wouldve stomped the old man.

RecoveringKinkoid
11-26-2007, 04:05 PM
That guy probably had Alzheimers, which would explain the argumentative atitude.

Soulstealer
11-26-2007, 05:44 PM
That guy probably had Alzheimers, which would explain the argumentative atitude.

Just because you're old doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. There's plenty of proof on this board that neither age nor mental facilities have anything to do with being a sucky customer.

DGoddessChardonnay
11-26-2007, 06:04 PM
That guy probably had Alzheimers, which would explain the argumentative atitude.

Possible from the sound of it.

There again, I've seen people younger than this guy who will argue with a TREE 'til the cows come home.

Who knows. Either way, it's pretty disturbing behavior :shrug:

GingerBiscuit
11-26-2007, 09:02 PM
There may be reasons for bad behaviour, but there are never excuses. Being ill- mentally or physically- is a reason for behaving badly, but not an excuse, so no-one else should have to put up with it happily. And not everyone who's that old has Alzheimers. Some people are just sh*tty.

Slow-Jo
11-26-2007, 09:11 PM
OMG the title along made me laugh so had i cried!
when it comes to older people its one side or the other. they can be sweeter then sugar, or so mean that the only reason they have lived so long is due to the fact Satan's scared of them.

IT Grunt
11-26-2007, 09:15 PM
My vote's on the asshat theory, personally. Especially with him claiming his age as being a justifying factor for his behavior.

My grandfather had early signs of dementia, but it manifested itself in the hilariously forgetful moments than anything else. For example, my sister was married in July of '06. Earlier this year she was happily telling the family that she was pregnant. When she told my grandfather, he was truly upset. "By who!?" he asked. "By my husband!" she said. "Do I know him?" he asked. "Grandpa, you were at the wedding last summer!" "I was?" (My nephew was born earlier this month. 7 pounds, 11 ounces. As my sister said, "Thank heaven for 7-11!" :D)

A couple weeks later, he was up at 5:00 with his walker, going to the closet and putting on a coat. My grandmother asked where he was going, and he said, "I'm going to work!" He'd been retired 25 years. :doh:

LifeCarnie
11-26-2007, 09:32 PM
My grandfather had early signs of dementia, but it manifested itself in the hilariously forgetful moments than anything else. For example, my sister was married in July of '06. Earlier this year she was happily telling the family that she was pregnant. When she told my grandfather, he was truly upset. "By who!?" he asked. "By my husband!" she said. "Do I know him?" he asked. "Grandpa, you were at the wedding last summer!" "I was?" (My nephew was born earlier this month. 7 pounds, 11 ounces. As my sister said, "Thank heaven for 7-11!" :D)

A couple weeks later, he was up at 5:00 with his walker, going to the closet and putting on a coat. My grandmother asked where he was going, and he said, "I'm going to work!" He'd been retired 25 years. :doh:


That sounds more like Alzheimers than dimentia. People with dimentia tend to be mean for no reason. Like the dude in the bookstore.

My mother has dimentia, she can be handful. Four of the Seven kids in my family no longer even talk to her.

ShinyGreenApple
11-26-2007, 11:20 PM
"naw, young people are the first to go. they cant do nothin."




Um, in that case, wouldn't we . . . all be dead. Since everyone is young once? Wait, that would make sense. SC's do not grasp common sense. Never mind.

tangrid
11-26-2007, 11:31 PM
Hehe, I loved the prize and the award. I suppose it's possible that he has dementia, but if that's the case, then someone's being irresponsible by letting him roam unattended. Most cases of dementia (and alzheimer's, for that matter) progress from general suckiness to physical violence... Even if he's just being a crotchety old man, I feel sorry for whatever offspring he may have produced in his younger, more useless years... so glad he's more valuable now that he's not working, and can go harass innocent checkers all day.

Oh, and gratz on catching your error, there, lady bar :P

Jester
11-26-2007, 11:45 PM
My stepfather is 76, a mere 7 years younger than the customer in the OP.

He refers to himself as old. He is starting to have problems. He is a member of AARP. He does get the senior citizen's discount at any place that offers it.

And he would never act like such a fucking shitball to random clerks. Why? Because he is a damned nice guy, and has a sense of humor, and is not bitter in his old age. Not even when some of us younger folks (read his children and stepchildren) irritate him. Of course, there ARE exceptions to that last part......

So the dude's 83? Age doesn't give you wisdom. Experience and knowledge, and learning how to apply them to life...those give you wisdom.

My stepfather is a fun, entertaining, easygoing, humorous, and very wise older gentleman, and I have nothing but respect and admiration for him.

The guy in the OP was a fucking cranky old fart piece of shit, and if he thinks his behavior was in any way socially acceptable, he can kiss my jesterly ass. Tights and all.

And that would be the same even if my stepfather was the older one.