She is getting on my last nerve.

[Misanthropical]

We have a rule, that no one is to come over before 11 AM. All of my children's friends seem to respect this rule, except for one little girl. She will ring the door bell before 9 AM repeatedly.

This girl is about 10 or 11 years old.

She seems to left alone at home all day while her mom and her mom's boyfriend work.

So, she will call 5 to 6 times an hour, ring the doorbell at least three times in the same amount of time.

She will ask my children for food, water, to be let in, if we will take her swimming. If we are going swimming she will just invite herself and tell the lifeguard and/or manager she is with us.

She lives less than a block away from our house, her house has from what I'm told, plenty of food and water, so it's not like she is doing without.

I found out today she has a brother, I have known this girl for awhile now and she has never mentioned a little brother nor have I seen her with her brother before today.

Today, it seems he is joining his sister in annoying the heck out of me.

At first, I didn't mind helping her out, but she has gotten to the point where she expects me and my family to do things for her. I felt sorry for her at first, but it has gotten to the point where she was just taking advantage of the situation.

She gets mad when I won't do things for her and whine about how unfair it is. YOU ARE NOT MY CHILD! I don't have to things for you that I do for my children. If I'm calling my children in for lunch, it doesn't mean you can come in without so much as ASKING and ask where yours is. If I'm taking my children swimming it doesn't mean you can join us without so much as a "by your elbow".

She has never once thanked me for anything, her mother has never called to thank me for taking care of her daughter when I did it.

I'm sorry, but I'm busy being mother to my own children. I refuse to let other people take advantage and assume I won't mind taking care of their children all the time without so much as ASKING ME.

My children's other friends wait for my children to invite them in and wait to get offered something to eat or drink. They wait till after 11 AM to ring the doorbell, they only call at most twice a day. If they think we might be going somewhere, they will get ready to go home, they don't assume they are going with unless they are invited.

I just counted on the caller ID how many times she has called today, so far, it's 8 times.

Talking to her does nothing. Both my husband and I have told her not to come over before 11 AM, we have both told her not to call more than twice a day and not to assume she is coming somewhere with us, not to just walk in our house, not to just take things out of our fridge, but it hasn't done any good.

I would talk to her mother, but the woman has not once talked to me, the person her daughter WAS spending most of her time around. If my daughter was around another mother most of the day, you can bet I would have talked to the other mother to make sure she is okay person and to make sure my daughter was minding her manners.

[NightWolf]

Wow, thats awful! I can completely understand why you would be so pissed. I would permanently ban the little sh#% from my house until she could show that she knew how to follow directions. There is no reason for a kid to treat your place like their own, or your family like their own. It sounds to me like the mother doesn't even care about the situation as long as the little girl is out of her hair. Grrrr.....I hate people sometimes.

I would seriously think about turning off the ringer in the morning, and not letting her in until she can mind her manners.


:2cents:

[LostMyMind]

Seems to me they've taken you to be their substitute "mom". If they're really being left alone like that, you just need to bite the bullet and call child's services on them (their parents). If it was me, I would call their mother and tell them to come over and pick up their child or pay you for babysitting services (don't be cheap about it).

It's not summer time anymore, shouldn't they be in school?

[Misanthropical]

NightWolf, I would turn off the ringer, but I can still hear the answering machine go off, which then prompts her to hang up and call again. This repeats till I want to throw the phone through the window.

I made it where our phone rejected her number because it came up as "private", but she found another phone to call from.

I told my children she isn't allowed in anymore till she can show some manners, so far, she is still not allowed in.

LostMyMind, school doesn't start till Aug. 28th. I would call her mother, but it seems to me that the woman doesn't care.

[LostMyMind]

Wow, my nieces and nephews are already in school now. You guys start late over there ;)

I guess the only other option is to call the equivalent of child's services in your area. Children that young should not be home alone.

[One-Fang]

Is she really good friends with any of your kids, or just some annoying kid who likes to hang out with them? If one of your children is emotionally attached to this girl, then I suppose you probably don't want to tell your kid "you can't be friends with her" any more, but if they're not ... use that option. Ban her from the house entirely.

If a kid is good friends with her, sit them down and ask them how they feel about her negative behaviour. Do they really want a person like this for a friend?

[Misanthropical]

One-Fang, my oldest son and daughter both like her, which is why I don't tell her to hit the road.

I know my daughter has talked to her about her behavior and thinks if we just give her enough time she will come around, but in the meantime she is driving me up the wall.

[One-Fang]

Well that makes it a bit harder. Any chance of "if you want to play with Beezlebub, you go to her house"?

[Ree]

Well, before you call child services, I think you should at least try to talk to the Mom.
It doesn't sound as if the little girl is getting much discipline or care, but at least give the mom the benefit of the doubt and a chance to do the right thing.

My daughter has always had friends like that, who didn't know the meaning of boundaries.
Usually, they didn't have much of a home life. (A couple of them ended up living wiht us in foster care.)

At mealtime, I wouldn't call my daughter in until I had said to them, "OK...time for you to go have lunch at home," and make them leave.

If they came to the door at the hours when it was not convenient, I would go to the door and tell them that they needed to go back home.

It was hard, especially at first, since I knew the reason the kids were hanging out with my daughter was because I was actually paying attention to them and our house was fun, but they needed to learn boundaries.

Also, if they went in the fridge and helped themselves to something, I would say, "Excuse me...do I come to your home and go into your fridge? Please ask if you want something."

For some kids, it worked, but for some, it didn't.

[Dreamstalker]

I agree with Ree; you should try to talk to the mom first and make sure she knows what her kid is doing.

I have a friend who used to be like that; her home life sucked at times (her family was and likely still is a tad strange) and I lived within public transportation distance. She knew boundaries however and would always call me and ask if she could come have dinner with us and sleep over. My mom didn't mind as she knew the situation and that sometimes the kid just needed to get away from the house for a day or so.

Her parents knew that she would come over here every so often and didn't mind (although for the longest time her dad thought of me as a 'slacker' because I took a year off after high school) as long as they knew she was safe.

[Misanthropical]

I talked to my oldest son last night about her and he told me that they have a huge hole in one of their walls from where the girl's mother put her fist through it in a fit of rage. I'm not sure I want to talk to the mother now! :eek:

My son also told me the little brother isn't always there, but doesn't know where the little boy is when he isn't there.

I noticed that on the weekends, for the most part, she doesn't come over before 11 AM or call every few minutes. I'm not sure if this because her mother is home or what.

[Misanthropical]

Well, it seems this girl has a huge crush on my oldest son, which is why she calls and comes by so often and why she wants to go with us everywhere.

My son has a girlfriend, who he thinks the sun rises and sets on, so this little girl doesn't really have a chance, but this does not deter her.

He is starting to get really annoyed with this girl too, since she doesn't seem to get the message.