DGoddessChardonnay
08-18-2006, 09:13 PM
to paraphrase Illya Kuryakin . . . I should have listened better.
To make it short and to the point, I moved back home w/Mom yesterday. Turns out living w/someone isn't what it's cracked up to be at all.
I'll make a short but consice list of what I had to put up w/once the honeymoon was over:
1) I was nagged constantly about wearing my jeans, especially when out in public. I prefer jeans, the b/f insisted I wear shorts. I did this for awhile, but then about a month ago, I decided "hell w/it. I'll wear what I want." So I went back to wearing my jeans and he complained about that. He stopped (probably in shock that I would DARE talk back) when I pointedly told him "I'll wear what I want to."
2) The b/f would examine the bills w/a fine tooth comb, especially the phone bill. A number I didn't recognize showed up on the last bill that came in. He claimed he didn't call that number (it was a number in High Point, and I don't know a soul there.) I explained that I had no idea as I don't know anyone there. This went back and forth for a few minutes before he finally realized that I just might be telling the truth here
3) He complained to my mom (over the phone) about how much I ate. He eats like a bird, basically, while I prefer "healthier" sized portions. Needless to say, she didn't like that one iota. He still didn't get the hint after she asked him if he'd ever been hungry. I have, and once you have been there, you don't forget. If I want to eat, I will. If I'm still hungry, I'll eat some more if it's available. Simple, isn't it? Apparently, it wasn't for him. Went over his head.
4) He would have a major conniption over any "discrepancy" he'd find on a bill and call and berate the cs reps incessantly, basically arguing w/them over the bill. (He's a CSR's worst nightmare it turned out.) Of course, nothing I said would even register, so I had stopped trying and would basically leave the room and go outside so I wouldn't have to hear his tirades.
5) Frankly, he'd have a major conniption over anything he perceived as a "miscommunication" or a "lie." (Frankly, he'd get the two words confused IMO.) Final time happened yesterday, when he deliberately didn't pick me up from work and I waited for over 2 1/2 hours, then tried to say that he'd talked to my mom and she had stated she would pick me up (he had a 2pm doctor's appointment at the cancer center.) I talked w/Mom when I went to lunch and she didn't say anything about him asking her to pick me up. I had double checked w/him yesterday morning (and he was in a non-speaking mood b/c we had an argument the day before b/c he thought I needed to change my attitude and I disagreed and told him I'm the way I am and that was it) and he stated that he would pick me up.
He finally showed up after 4:30 and was in a major pissed mood. He verbally started in as soon as I got into the car, and I just opened my mouth and let him have it. I explained point blank that I HAD asked him that morning and he said he would be here. When he stated about asking my mom this morning, I cut him off and told him I had talked w/her lunchtime and she said nothing about it.
Apparently, he didn't like that too well (imagine a mere woman standing up for herself. The horror:rolleyes: ) and proceeded to start ranting about communication, blah blah blah (basic nonsense, as I wasn't the one who misunderstood.) Then stated that I wasn't ready for a relationship (heh. He's the one who has no clue as to what one is apparently, as well as believing that his word is gospel fact and undisputable.)
"That's just your opinion." I smiled.:devil: (Now, I had called Mom twice after 4 to let her know he hadn't show up and told her then I was packing my things as soon as I could get there to come home. I was planning to go this weekend, but since he was behaving rather distant, I decided to just do it and get it over with.)
He looked like he was going to slap me (he didn't thankfully, or he'd been dead b/c my mom would have taken care of that herself) so I repeated what I had said since he didnt' seem to hear me (he had a bad habit of ignoring me whenever I would try to talk to him about anything that was of particular interest to me.)
So it was agreed upon that I would get my things and go back to Mom's (just make me a happy woman, would you?) Nothing much else was said on the way back to the house, whereupon I went ahead and got my few things together (I had already prepacked some of it so I wouldn't have to spend as much time to get out if I needed to) and came back home.
At first, everything was great. He insisted I do whatever I wanted b/c I was at home, blah blah blah. Then the more I was there and around him, I noticed how he really was and the more I saw, the less I was impressed with.
For example, he'd basically wave his bank statements in my face (I guess trying to impress me. Didn't work. I don't care that there's x amount in one account, y amount in another and another w amount in cd's.) I'd just yawn and put them onto the coffee table.
Also, he'd nag me constantly about watching television. It was bad enough he had argued w/the folks at Dish Network over a new card, got the card then didn't want to pay for the damn thing when the bill came in (and called and had it cut back off the day after it was cut on b/c of the bill) he tried the same thing w/the folks at Direct. Thankfully, he didn't have that turned off after having it put in (he may have now, which is immaterial at this point) but he would constantly nag about my wanting to watch stuff I've already seen. He couldn't graps the concept that there are certain movies/shows that I like to watch,no matter how many times I've seen it already. :shrug: It got to the point where I couldn't even enjoy watching tv b/c of it.
I started feeling so isolated, I couldn't even call my own dad from the house b/c I was afraid it'd tick him off. He ranted over how my dad treated me growing up, never would listen when I'd explain to him that that was then and it was in the past and that we had worked things out several years ago. He wouldn't even agree to go meet my dad and stepmom - but yet wants to moan and whine about his son not coming around him (I think I can understand why.)
He also had a minor fit when I had my nails put back on a couple of weeks ago, but I held my ground and told him I was going to do it regardless.
But it's water under the bridge now. I have my sense of self intact and nobody will ever undermine it. I can come home and get on my computer (another thing he griped over. He hates anything new or technological) and not have to justify it. I can eat what I want, when I want, as much as I want and nobody can say a damn word to me. I can wear what I want to at home and nobody cares. I can be ME.
I used to think there was something wrong with me, but this experience has taught me that it's not me - it's the rest of the world that's screwed up.;)
To make it short and to the point, I moved back home w/Mom yesterday. Turns out living w/someone isn't what it's cracked up to be at all.
I'll make a short but consice list of what I had to put up w/once the honeymoon was over:
1) I was nagged constantly about wearing my jeans, especially when out in public. I prefer jeans, the b/f insisted I wear shorts. I did this for awhile, but then about a month ago, I decided "hell w/it. I'll wear what I want." So I went back to wearing my jeans and he complained about that. He stopped (probably in shock that I would DARE talk back) when I pointedly told him "I'll wear what I want to."
2) The b/f would examine the bills w/a fine tooth comb, especially the phone bill. A number I didn't recognize showed up on the last bill that came in. He claimed he didn't call that number (it was a number in High Point, and I don't know a soul there.) I explained that I had no idea as I don't know anyone there. This went back and forth for a few minutes before he finally realized that I just might be telling the truth here
3) He complained to my mom (over the phone) about how much I ate. He eats like a bird, basically, while I prefer "healthier" sized portions. Needless to say, she didn't like that one iota. He still didn't get the hint after she asked him if he'd ever been hungry. I have, and once you have been there, you don't forget. If I want to eat, I will. If I'm still hungry, I'll eat some more if it's available. Simple, isn't it? Apparently, it wasn't for him. Went over his head.
4) He would have a major conniption over any "discrepancy" he'd find on a bill and call and berate the cs reps incessantly, basically arguing w/them over the bill. (He's a CSR's worst nightmare it turned out.) Of course, nothing I said would even register, so I had stopped trying and would basically leave the room and go outside so I wouldn't have to hear his tirades.
5) Frankly, he'd have a major conniption over anything he perceived as a "miscommunication" or a "lie." (Frankly, he'd get the two words confused IMO.) Final time happened yesterday, when he deliberately didn't pick me up from work and I waited for over 2 1/2 hours, then tried to say that he'd talked to my mom and she had stated she would pick me up (he had a 2pm doctor's appointment at the cancer center.) I talked w/Mom when I went to lunch and she didn't say anything about him asking her to pick me up. I had double checked w/him yesterday morning (and he was in a non-speaking mood b/c we had an argument the day before b/c he thought I needed to change my attitude and I disagreed and told him I'm the way I am and that was it) and he stated that he would pick me up.
He finally showed up after 4:30 and was in a major pissed mood. He verbally started in as soon as I got into the car, and I just opened my mouth and let him have it. I explained point blank that I HAD asked him that morning and he said he would be here. When he stated about asking my mom this morning, I cut him off and told him I had talked w/her lunchtime and she said nothing about it.
Apparently, he didn't like that too well (imagine a mere woman standing up for herself. The horror:rolleyes: ) and proceeded to start ranting about communication, blah blah blah (basic nonsense, as I wasn't the one who misunderstood.) Then stated that I wasn't ready for a relationship (heh. He's the one who has no clue as to what one is apparently, as well as believing that his word is gospel fact and undisputable.)
"That's just your opinion." I smiled.:devil: (Now, I had called Mom twice after 4 to let her know he hadn't show up and told her then I was packing my things as soon as I could get there to come home. I was planning to go this weekend, but since he was behaving rather distant, I decided to just do it and get it over with.)
He looked like he was going to slap me (he didn't thankfully, or he'd been dead b/c my mom would have taken care of that herself) so I repeated what I had said since he didnt' seem to hear me (he had a bad habit of ignoring me whenever I would try to talk to him about anything that was of particular interest to me.)
So it was agreed upon that I would get my things and go back to Mom's (just make me a happy woman, would you?) Nothing much else was said on the way back to the house, whereupon I went ahead and got my few things together (I had already prepacked some of it so I wouldn't have to spend as much time to get out if I needed to) and came back home.
At first, everything was great. He insisted I do whatever I wanted b/c I was at home, blah blah blah. Then the more I was there and around him, I noticed how he really was and the more I saw, the less I was impressed with.
For example, he'd basically wave his bank statements in my face (I guess trying to impress me. Didn't work. I don't care that there's x amount in one account, y amount in another and another w amount in cd's.) I'd just yawn and put them onto the coffee table.
Also, he'd nag me constantly about watching television. It was bad enough he had argued w/the folks at Dish Network over a new card, got the card then didn't want to pay for the damn thing when the bill came in (and called and had it cut back off the day after it was cut on b/c of the bill) he tried the same thing w/the folks at Direct. Thankfully, he didn't have that turned off after having it put in (he may have now, which is immaterial at this point) but he would constantly nag about my wanting to watch stuff I've already seen. He couldn't graps the concept that there are certain movies/shows that I like to watch,no matter how many times I've seen it already. :shrug: It got to the point where I couldn't even enjoy watching tv b/c of it.
I started feeling so isolated, I couldn't even call my own dad from the house b/c I was afraid it'd tick him off. He ranted over how my dad treated me growing up, never would listen when I'd explain to him that that was then and it was in the past and that we had worked things out several years ago. He wouldn't even agree to go meet my dad and stepmom - but yet wants to moan and whine about his son not coming around him (I think I can understand why.)
He also had a minor fit when I had my nails put back on a couple of weeks ago, but I held my ground and told him I was going to do it regardless.
But it's water under the bridge now. I have my sense of self intact and nobody will ever undermine it. I can come home and get on my computer (another thing he griped over. He hates anything new or technological) and not have to justify it. I can eat what I want, when I want, as much as I want and nobody can say a damn word to me. I can wear what I want to at home and nobody cares. I can be ME.
I used to think there was something wrong with me, but this experience has taught me that it's not me - it's the rest of the world that's screwed up.;)