Lights....on the waaaa-ter....and fire in the sky!

[Jester]

Every year around this time in Key West, they have the Lighted Boat Parade, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. A lot of boats are decorated with lights, and they make a pass through the harbor, past spectators and judges, who judge the decorations, etc., etc. The decorations are usually pretty damn good, and everyone on the boats and on the docks is drinking--it IS Key West, after all! And all in all it's a lot of fun for all involved.

Now, though I have lived here for eight years, until last year I had never actually seen the Lighted Boat Parade. Last year my friend D-Rod and I went down to the LBP at the last minute, hoping to somehow get through the crowds and catch a bit of the show. We actually did better than that...somehow we got invited, at the last minute ON TO one of the smaller sailboats IN THE PARADE ITSELF. Which was cool. As was the fact that that boat was docked right next to where Clarence Clemons himself, who was the Grand Marshal of the LBP last year, played the National Anthem on his saxophone. I also thoroughly enjoyed flirting with the two cute Canadian girls who were also on the boat with us. Yeah, that was definitely cool.

This year, I got invited by my friend Captain Alex to be aboard HIS boat for the parade. Captain Alex runs a gourmet dinner cruise (I've been on it...it rocks!) off his small/middle-sized yacht/fishing boat. (I am a desert boy. I know nothing about boats. So I am probably describing it all wrong anyways.) So myself, D-Rod, and Flakey showed up, as did about 8 others, for the ride. Captain Alex had decorated the white boat with many many white lights, a giant lit up white snowman on the stern, a decorated (real) Christmas tree on the bow, and had asked all of us to wear all-white. Which we did. We also wore Santa hats. Except for two people, one of which was dressed like Santa, the other one like an elf, complete with green face paint and pointy shoes. Captain Alex provided the cooler, we provided the booze. And everyone drank. (Except Captain Alex, until we got back to the docks. The whole losing your license thing and all.)

Now, everyone's "standing orders" were to be festive and fun and wave to the crowd from the top portion of the boat, and to not be on the lower stern part, due to the shooting flames Captain Alex was planning. See, being a dinner cruise, he has a large gas grill on the stern of his boat, and his plan was to have someone shooting flames up from it by squirting lighter fluid on it.

Anyone want to take a guess who he tapped for THAT particular job? :wave:

So, everyone was banished from the stern of the boat except for Pyro Jester and SD Dave, who was on fire extinguisher duty....just in case.

So, Captain Alex shows me how to operate everything, hands me two cans of lighter fluid, and goes about driving the boat. Leaving me to be a pyro, especially when we came in to pass the judge's stand and the docks with all the crowds.

Now, because I was so focused on being Flame Boy, I had no idea how the shooting flames went over with the crowds, but the rest of the crew on our boat said the crowds were going freakin' WILD when I was shooting those flames (some of which were going 10 feet high, depending on the wind. Not surprisingly, Frost, the tall wire-and-lights snowman next to the grill, got a little singed. Surprisingly, neither SD Dave nor myself did. There were a few times when I had to DUCK (and quickly!), and one time I literally hit the deck (the flames were coming right at my face!), but I emerged from the night with my goatee and both my eyebrows intact, and Dave never once had to wield the fire extinguisher. Admittedly, he almost did at one point, when there was fire below the grill, but that was from dripped lighter fluid, and that burned out quickly.

Shooting flames. Crowds cheering. Santa and an elf. White-clad crew with Santa hats. Pizza. Much booze. Great weather. :D

So, how did you spend YOUR Saturday night?!?!?! :lol:

[Acolyte]

You suck. Pbbht. You get to play with fire while I have to sit here studying? Nyeh. :D

[Saydrah]

Yipe, sounds kinda scary- but I would have liked to watch from a safe distance away~

[Jester]

Yipe, sounds kinda scary- but I would have liked to watch from a safe distance away~

You play with rats and ride wild broncos for a living....but a little fire scares you? Interesting....very very interesting......

[lordlundar]

So I have to ask; who qualifies as more insane? You for being the pyro, or bossman for making you the pyro?:lol:

[Jester]

So I have to ask; who qualifies as more insane? You for being the pyro, or bossman for making you the pyro?:lol:

SD Dave, actually.

See, Bossman was going to be doing the ten foot high flames no matter what....just had to find someone to do it.

I would do it, because I get off on that kind of stuff, but knew not to get too crazy.

However, the guy charged with making sure nothing went wrong was half the time facing the other way. And one time, when both of us hit the grill with lighter fluid at the same time, someone had to point out to him that his can of fluid still had a flame on the spout afterwards.

[Saydrah]

You play with rats and ride wild broncos for a living....but a little fire scares you? Interesting....very very interesting......

1. Rats are not scary. Rats are KYOOT.

2. If my ponies are trying to kill me, I know it. Fire just kinda... malfunctions. I can handle naughtiness or outright aggression just fine. I understand it. But poofs of flame in my face? Nuhuh. I shall hide under this rock here until it is done.

[Jester]

Fire is actually rather predictable in its unpredictability. As long as you are aware of it and expect it, its unexpected nature can be expected, anticipated, and dealt with.

Just like a horse. Only hotter.

:lol:

[Amethyst Hunter]

Fire is actually rather predictable in its unpredictability. As long as you are aware of it and expect it, its unexpected nature can be expected, anticipated, and dealt with.


I am reminded of a little incident several years ago when I still lived at my old Illinois house.

For about 25 years I grew up in a lovely little wooded area just outside of the town. It was great - we had all manner of critters come into our yard on a regular basis (deer, raccoons, turtles, the occasional skunk, pheasants, hawks, owls...) and lots of beautiful trees. God, I miss that place. :cry: :cry:

Anyway, one of the perks to living there was that we could burn our own trash and nobody could say boo about it. At one point someone (I know it wasn't me, because I'm far too lazy to do it) had raked up a TON of leaves from the annual autumn shedfest and piled them all into one big HUGE pile of leaves, dead branches, and whatnot. It was a giant mountain of yard waste, basically.

My folks were gone on some errand and I had the run of the place, and my best friend was visiting. So, I get the brilliant idea to SET THE MOUNTAIN ON FIRE!

But not just any fire. Oh no. I wanted this sucker to burn, baby, burn. So, I looked around for some good accelerant. Paint thinner or rubbing alcohol were favorites of mine to use whenever I burninated things.

Then I spied, in the garage, a small can of GASOLINE. I'm sure you can guess where this is going next.

**Disclaimer: Do not try this at home, kids.**

I dumped it all over The Mountain, went and got my trusty book of matches, and with my friend watching, I lit that bugger up.

Hooooboy did THAT go up like nobody's business! :eek: :lol: It sizzled for a second, and then BAM! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!! Both my friend and I jumped back with a holler and watched The Mountain scorch to the ground.

(I now realize, of course, that this was a very stupid and dangerous thing to have done, and have not since repeated it.)

[Saydrah]

Common Knowledge: The only thing predictable about horses is that they're unpredictable.

However, I'll still stick to them over a big scary eyebrow singeing force of nature.

[Broomjockey]

Bah, fire's completely predictable. It needs two things. Fuel and oxygen. That's all it thinks about.

Horses have personalities, and don't think like people do.

I'll take the fire most of the time, unless I'm out for a real thrill

Oh, and Jester, I hate you :p