Fun with IM bots

[erik316wttn]

Goarmy.com has an IM bot called "Sgt. Star" who gives you "answers" to your questions. It's extremely fun and giggle inducing to mess with it. Here is my chat transcript:

SGT STAR: Welcome Erik. How can I help you today?

Erik: I need help

SGT STAR: Please click on "Ask Live Help" at the bottom of this screen to chat live with a Recruiter or send the Army an e-mail by using the page next to me and a live Recruiter will get back to you shortly. >>

Erik: No, seriously. I was out using a woodchipper and got my arm stuck in there! I'm bleeding everywhere and am starting to feel woozy.

SGT STAR: Here are some jobs in that category that might be of interest to you.

The Army Career Explorer can help you determine the job qualifications and availability. Try it now.
>>

Erik: Oh God I don't wanna die!

SGT STAR: There are more than 50 domestic Army installations and more than 100 worldwide. Move your mouse over the posts for their location. For overseas posts, click on the links in the lower left corner of the map. Your duty assignment will depend on your MOS and experience and available positions. >>

Here's more:

* Scholarships, Psychology
* Army Family, DEERS Program
* Choosing Posts

more >


Erik: WHY WONT YOU HELP ME YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD?

SGT STAR: I don't respond to that type of language. What else can I help you with?

Erik: It's getting dark. So very dark

SGT STAR: Displayed below are answers that I believe are related to your question.

Here's more:

* Racism



Erik: Oh look. There's grandpa! And my Great-Grandma. And that nice neighbor lady who would always give me a dollar....

SGT STAR: There are more than 50 domestic Army installations and more than 100 worldwide. Move your mouse over the posts for their location. For overseas posts, click on the links in the lower left corner of the map. Your duty assignment will depend on your MOS and experience and available positions. >>

Here's more:

* Scholarships, Psychology
* Army Family, DEERS Program
* Choosing Posts

more >


Erik: I hear voices. They say "come toward the light." Should I go?

SGT STAR: That is a good question, however, I am not positive that I understand what you are asking. Try rephrasing your question. I understand simple questions best.

Erik: Would you still take me if I had a stump for a right arm?

SGT STAR: Here are some jobs in that category that might be of interest to you.

To find out about the availability of specific jobs and what you're qualified for, log into the Army Career Explorer.
>>

Erik: Would my Drill Sergant call me "Stumpy?"

SGT STAR: I'd be happy to assist in having one of my Cyber recruiters contact you regarding your questions. Click to their bio and select "Email Me."

Erik: There's blood everywhere. I need to get to a hospital!

SGT STAR: What kind of qualifications are you asking about? Physical, enlistment, home school, MOS, ROTC, OCS, or HPSP?

Here's more:

* Medical Facilities
* HPSP Responsibilities
* Dental Corps, Advanced Programs

more >


Erik: *dies*

SGT STAR: Unfortunately I haven't been trained on that subject. I have been trained to ask for help when I'm not sure about an answer. If you would like a recruiter to answer your question, please fill out this form to send an e-mail.

[NightWolf]

There are a few programs out there that you can set up to run this sort of prank on AIM. It's fun to pull it on your friends. You usually set it up by having the bot say something like,

Hi this is so and so from way back, you know, when we worked at the so and so.

Sit back and watch the hilarity. :lol:

[Sphinx]

There are a few programs out there that you can set up to run this sort of prank on AIM.

Really now, and how would one go about doing that???? . . . . . . . hmmmmmmmm :devil:

[NightWolf]

Here's one of the links.

http://imprank.ebaumsworld.com/

I know some people on the site don't think much of ebaumsworld, but it was first on the google list, so, shoot them. :D

[protege]

Hehe for a minute, I thought we were talking about abusing X2 and X3 in chat :p

[PuckishOne]

Hehe for a minute, I thought we were talking about abusing X2 and X3 in chat
Heavens, no...they're the only ones in there most of the time - hint hint...

(with apologies to LostMyMind, LionMan, and TechAngel, who were all in chat with me earlier today) :D

[erik316wttn]

He's not a prank bot. You can go to the website of www.goarmy.com and talk to him. I just copied and pasted my transcript.

[Ringman]

(with apologies to LostMyMind, LionMan, and TechAngel, who were all in chat with me earlier today) :D

i was in with TechAngel this morning had to leave right when lionman enterd.:)

[PuckishOne]

i was in with TechAngel this morning had to leave right when lionman enterd.:)
Okay, then you're off the hook, too. ;)

[Sphinx]

Hey someone let me know when you go in and I will join ya.Otherwise I wont even remember to check and see if anybody is in there. I'm usually here all day :D

erik316wttn that was sooooo funny to read :roll: :roll:

[Ringman]

hey puck come and join me and TechAngel in chat Edit: you too sphinx

[Heksubah]

Buahaha, if you had fun with that you should google Dr. Sbaitso. It was a soundblaster program from, I believe, the late 80s. He was supposed to be like a shrink in a program form. He was fun to mess with.

[Ljt09863]

Erik: No, seriously. I was out using a woodchipper and got my arm stuck in there! I'm bleeding everywhere and am starting to feel woozy..

see, that would probably be a little bit more funny to me, if it weren't for the fact that a week ago, a man up here was putting alog in a woodchiper for his lawn service buisness....and well...he got caught in it.....i guess it only took 7 seconds for....well...you know. happened only a few blocks away. all i know is that they are definitly having a closed casket funeral. but it was all over the papers and stuff. he was 30 years old, with two daughters, and another one on the way. its sad.:(

[erik316wttn]

see, that would probably be a little bit more funny to me, if it weren't for the fact that a week ago, a man up here was putting alog in a woodchiper for his lawn service buisness....and well...he got caught in it.....i guess it only took 7 seconds for....well...you know. happened only a few blocks away. all i know is that they are definitly having a closed casket funeral. but it was all over the papers and stuff. he was 30 years old, with two daughters, and another one on the way. its sad.:(

Wow. I'm sorry. Had I known I never would have posted this thread.

[Ljt09863]

Wow. I'm sorry. Had I known I never would have posted this thread.



hey, its ok. accidents happen every day, and its not a reason for other people in the world to stop living their lives.