Get me out of Jury Duty

[The Gatekeeper]

O.k. this should be interesting because it really is an audience participation thread.

I have to go in for the initial panel for Jury Duty next month. It doesn't mean I'll be selected or even make it further than the waiting room. I believe in the judicial process and believe that it's my duty as a citizen blah, blah, blah. But it really would be a hardship if I miss work. Possibly because the controller at my company might try to dock my pay. Long story and not the point.

Anyway, here is what I'm looking for:

Suggestions on things to say in order to not be selected.

For example:

"I believe that anyone who has been charged is probably guilty of something"

or chanting

"Hang 'em high, hang 'em high, hang 'em high, hang 'em high, hang 'em high."

So come on, I know there are some really twisted minds out there. Help a girl out woncha?

:devil::devil::devil:

[Saydrah]

I'd love to be selected- I've always been told that I just have this great ability to know if someone is guilty just by looking at them, like on Court TV I always guess right, and when one of my nephews breaks something, I just KNOW which one did it. I'd love to use that ability to be a juror.

[Greenday]

You've been selected for jury duty too!?

I just got a letter in the mail for it. I'm putting my reason for not serving as "Full-time student". Apparently, I have to send in a copy of my semester bill for it.

Who the hell asks a 19 year old in college to do jury duty? Honestly...

[The Gatekeeper]

It's generated by a voters list. The brochure I got for my province says that you have an automatic pass, but could be called again.

I'd love to serve, just not right now. Money, and vacation are coming. Ree needs me to drive her to Quebec City, and then try and break something else of hers with dangerous motorized equipment.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Serving on a jury is interesting, however believe me when I say I know how it is to take a financial dry cornholing due to jury duty.

So, if you can come across as someone who you know the lawyers do NOT want on a jury, you will get excused. For example, last jury I got called for was for domestic abuse. The defense didn't want people who could possibly be bitter or hate men due to their own experiences. Defense lawer tossed out all divorced women. I got sat because I said I'd been married for nearly 20 years and was happy (yes, they ask those sorts of questions if they feel it may help them decide if they want you or not.) I sat a child molestation case when I was younger. Defense tried to stack the jury with men and tried to keep people who looked like mothers or school teachers off. I got sworn because I looked like a very young, childless liberal hippy.


Pay attention to what you are being pooled for, and you might be able to make yourself very unattractive to one lawyer or the other when they call you up to question you.

Also, if you can prove that it would be a financial burden, they may excuse you. If you are the caregiver of a child, an elderly person, or a sick person, they may excuse you. If you can prove it will cause hardship, you may be excused. If you have some medical condition, hard of hearing, trouble understanding, etc, you may be excused.

[The Gatekeeper]

That's exactly what I'm looking for, things to scare lawyers.

Caregiver? Well there is the Wall o' Cats, and my idiot step-sister. :rolleyes:

Right now I'm just scheduled to show up for the initial visit. There may not be any trials that day.

I'm sure my work would claim me indispensable. And I can apparently be deffer ed because of my vacation. I'd just like to have a little fun with the lawyers in the process.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Immediately volunteer that you're willing to give out the death penalty, before anyone asks you anything else. Don't say it like a smartass...blurt it out as though you're highly nervous and couldn't stop it from coming out. Both sides' lawyers will shit themselves in their rush to get rid of you. Especially effective if the case is for something like relatively minor theft or some kind of nonviolent crime. :lol:

Ways to get the prosecution to kick you include saying you despise the police, that you have relatives in prison, or that you are obsessed with the CSI television shows and think you've learned a lot about how evidence works now.

Getting the defense to kick you is easier...just be intelligent. Defense lawyers generally (note the qualifier "generally") prefer jury pools full of rockheads who won't understand the evidence against their client.

Or, the easiest, just have really strong opinions on anything they ask you about. Both sets hate that. It makes you hard to convince of "their side".

[digilight]

a big thing to remember...Here in the states at least, if you tell them something like, "Kill 'em all and let god sort 'em out" or "hell yeah I think he should fry if he is guilty, well I don't care if it's only a burglery offense" are things that may get you a contempt of court charge.

Here you are able to reschedule your jury duty to a more convinient date, and they go in a pool of numbers that starts over each week. For example, monday will usually call group number 1. If you have a high number (such as in the 90's) you have a good chance of not getting called at all.

You can definantly use your feelings and beliefs to get you off a case, even some political affiliations may be cause for some attorneys to not want you on a panel.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My mom used to use me to get out of JD every time. A couple times we were still little, and when I was 16 I was home sick from school. But a few years ago she had no excuse and ended up on a robbery case.

I've only been called once, and I only went to one panel selection, and they had their jury before they even got to me. I spent the rest of the day in the waiting room, reading, watching movies, and staring at the ceiling. At the end of the day they said "We have good news and bad news. The bad news is you didn't get selected for a jury. The good news is your service is done." Then they collected our little badges and sent us home.

[Bright_Star]

I had Jury Duty a long time ago. I liked it. I learned a lot of things. Why wouldn't you want to be there?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

My guess would be it's a situation that may cost the OP lots of money.

The first time I had to do it, it hit between jobs...I quit one job and was finishing up my two weeks. I was due to start a new job, but since I had jury duty that week, my start time got pushed back until it was over.

Which meant I lost two weeks worth of pay, something I could absolutely not afford. When you live hand to mouth, as I did back then, it could take months to recover from that financially.

They don't pay you for jury duty. What they give you barely covers lunch.

[Caveat Emptor]

My mother told them she was caring for young children. That was 1974. She wasn't called again for TWENTY YEARS!! :lol:

I last got a summons in 2000. Wasn't called though. I wonder if you don't vote regularly, does that affect anything?

[Pedersen]

If you really want to get out of it, it's pretty simple: I like to be the jury. I like having that power over someone's fate. I like getting to decide if they go to prison.

The defense will be terrified to have you. So will the prosecution.

As to why not wanting to go? The day I went, I got paid $30. And, at the time, I was making about 8 times that for an 8 hour shift. I got shafted on the pay scale, and that was at a time I needed the money.

[The Gatekeeper]

Good answers all, thank you.

I don't want to do Jury Duty, because I will most likely get docked from my pay while I'm there, even though I am salaried. I don't know that for sure yet, but the Controller is a bit of a....hmmm....how should I say....SHREW. It's not only her decision, but she does have a lot of input.
Also I play a key roll in my company and being away, kind of throws everything into chaos. Also the following week is my vacation. That is an issue for a couple of reasons. First, I have already booked and paid for everything. Second, that would be possibly two weeks with out me (longer if I got a trial).

As far as finding it interesting, I would probably, but not right now. I work 2 1/2 jobs as it is, 7 days a week, every week. If I could afford to lose money, I wouldn't work that much in the first place.

[jayel]

I got called a couple of years ago, and I was afraid of losing the pay from work. But I did get paid for the couple of days the trial took, and it was MORE than I would have made at work. And it was very interesting.

I think they could tell if someone is trying to get there way out of serving. The thing is, at least when I was being screened, if they turned you away from one case, they would send you over to ANOTHER case to be screened. You could spend a week just hanging out, being screened by lawyers, and may eventually end up on a case after all.

To me it was easy. Halfway through the day, I got picked for the first case I was screened for. Trial began that afternoon, lasted the next day, and half of the next, then it was over. As I mentioned, I was paid more than I would have been at work.

If you get excused right off the bat, I believe they put your name down to be called again within a certain amount of time. By the third time you HAVE to serve, IIRC/ YMMV.

[Greenday]

Ways to get the prosecution to kick you include saying you despise the police, that you have relatives in prison, or that you are obsessed with the CSI television shows and think you've learned a lot about how evidence works now.

That show has been screwing over the prosecution since the day it came out. Now juries expect a ridiculous amount of evidence. It's like, if there isn't a semen sample at a crime scene, the prosecution is screwed. Cause come on, EVERY crime scene has a semen sample somewhere on it.

[xcaptainhowdyx]

Somebody has been watching Superbad. But I usually get out of it by either being related to a parole officer or a felon. Poor health works too.

[Melxb]

I've been called for jury duty five times in the last twelve years!!!! The last two times I've been called I served on a jury because I work for the govt, so my salary will be paid no matter how long I serve on a jury.

The first one was very tragic--a civil case of a "wrongful death" of a newborn at birth. That one really broke my heart

The last one, which was just in November was a civil lawsuit against a car dealership. The jury found for the plaintiff because the dealership was SO wrong the even their attorney could barely keep a straight face during the trial. :lol:

I don't mind being called for jury duty. As a voting member of the public I think it's part of my civic duty to serve on a jury. Then again, I've been paid to be on those two juries. I'm not losing anything.:o

[CancelMyService]

I was looking forward to jury duty, but then I was called a day or so before I was due to leave before going to VA to get married. The clerk asked if anyone had a reason why they couldn't serve on a case that might go for a week or more, I raised my hand, and next thing I know I'm out the door. :D

[Kittish]

I got called for jury duty once. At one point one of the questions we were asked during the selection is if we would follow the law in making our decision. My answer was "No, not if I feel the law is wrong." I was dismissed, and have never been called back for jury duty again.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Is it even legal to dock your pay if you are on jury duty? I've been told since the incident I mentioned that the new job should have paid me for the week I was gone. I dunno, it's a pretty grey area, I think. Technically, I hadn't started.

But to dock the pay of an established worker, what are the laws on that? I thought they had to pay you.

[The Gatekeeper]

In my province the employer does not have to pay you, while you're on Jury Duty. Now I am salaried, but if I don't work my required hours it's legal to dock pay, from a salaried worker. It's punitive, but it's done. So unless I make up the hours some other way, conceivably I could have my pay docked.

There is a little history between the Controller and I, especially concerning her going after my pay. I really don't want to get into it now. Do I think they will dock me the one day? Probably not. But will it get thrown back in my face at a later date..."well there was that time you were absent for jury duty, and we paid you for it anyway, even though legally we don't have too", probably.

[Jester]

All of my jury duty knowledge comes from the American point of view, so please keep that in mind when I am discussing the legal aspect of it......

They don't pay you for jury duty. What they give you barely covers lunch.

I believe most places DO pay you for jury duty....but as you said, it is a pittance. HOWEVER, there are many companies that do pay you if you are on jury duty. When I worked for the hotel and got called for jury duty, I found out that that hotel DID in fact pay their employees if they got called for jury duty, and I got paid as if I was on vacation for the two days I had been summoned, even though I was only there for one. Bonus paid day off! But other people there were only getting paid what the court paid (I believe $15/day).

Also the following week is my vacation. That is an issue for a couple of reasons. First, I have already booked and paid for everything.

This may be your ticket out.

"Is there any reason why you would not be able to serve on a jury for a trial that would last x long?" Well, yes sir, as it turns out I have a vacation next week where everything is already paid for, and I can't get any of it refunded.

That may or may not work with the judge. Questions like the above are qualifying questions generally asked by the judge before you even get to be questioned by the lawyers about specifics.


By the third time you HAVE to serve, IIRC/ YMMV.

You never HAVE to serve on a jury. Not until the lawyers for each side have questioned you and not struck you from selection, anyway. Not just for it being your third time.



I didn't get out of jury duty per se (I showed up and went through the qualification process) but I did get out of serving on the actual jury. In my case, I just told the truth....it was a medical malpractice suit, and one of the questions being asked by the plaintiff's lawyer was "Are you or anyone you know in the health care industry?" My answer pretty much raised the plaintiff lawyer's eyebrows and just about guaranteed he's strike me--and was absolutely true:

JESTER: "Well, I have a friend who works in administration over at the hospital....I have two friends who are doctors....and oh yeah, I have seven cousins who are doctors."
PLAINTIFF'S LAWYER: "Excuse me? Did you say seven?"
JESTER: "Yep. Typical Jewish family."
JUST ABOUT EVERYONE IN THE COURT: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Dreamstalker]

Who the hell asks a 19 year old in college to do jury duty? Honestly...
I got called once in high school. Problems arose when it was found that A) I would not be allowed out of school to do it and B) it was 70 miles away and I don't drive.

I think eventually I was able to get out of it due to disability reasons (which was technically true at the time).

[jayel]

You never HAVE to serve on a jury. Not until the lawyers for each side have questioned you and not struck you from selection, anyway. Not just for it being your third time.





I meant if it's the third time you got called through the mail and had been excused completely twice already (like being too valuable at work or couldn't serve for more than a week). Not just if it's the third series of questioning by lawyers. From what I understand, you can't just continue getting excused indefinitely. At some point if they call you they are going to expect you to serve- unless there are major underlying circumstances. Again, IIRC/ YMMV

[Jester]

Jayel, I think what you mean is on your third time you have to show up for qualifying, not that you automatically have to serve on a jury. Because you can report for jury duty and never make it on to a jury, as I did a year ago. Make sense?

[digilight]

Also I play a key roll in my company and being away, kind of throws everything into chaos. Also the following week is my vacation. That is an issue for a couple of reasons. First, I have already booked and paid for everything. Second, that would be possibly two weeks with out me (longer if I got a trial).

As far as finding it interesting, I would probably, but not right now. I work 2 1/2 jobs as it is, 7 days a week, every week. If I could afford to lose money, I wouldn't work that much in the first place.

This may be an option I checked the Ministry of the Attorney General website at http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/courts/jury/juryduty.asp for FAQs about jury duty up in the great frozen north and they have instances for that. Read the FAQ and follow up accordingly. Also if it would be a hardship for your employer (read talk to your boss and have them help you out on this as well) you may be able to get out of it.

About 7 years ago my boss and I both had jury duty at the same time. I was chosen for a jury and he was pulled into a courtroom for another panel. When the judge asked if there was anyone who couldn't serve for any reason he told the judge that his manager was allready chosen to serve on a jury and that one of us had to be at the shop (he was the owner). The judge excused him from service.

[Greenday]

I just got my card in the mail saying I'm excused from jury duty! YAY!

[The Gatekeeper]

Well, looks like the Controller didn't have a say, but still room for concern. They are going to pay me for the one day that I have to go in, but if I end up getting a trial....they are willing to write me a letter that I am indispensable if necessary. We want to wait and see what comes of the one day.

So now back to the sabotage. The way I see it, the EASIEST way to get out of this is to have them not want me. I'm practicing at eating my own face etc. Also, the swearing in "under oath" part I need to look into. If I have to swear "to god" then that might work....need to work on bringing out my inner heathen on that.

This might actually be fun! How to best make myself repellent?

[Geek King]

You know what? Tell them right out the whole story about possibly being docked pay for serving. There is a good chance they will either let you off, or likely send a nasty-gram to the SHREW about being hostile to citizens doing their civic duty. Either way, you come out okay (I hope!). Best of luck!

[jayel]

Jayel, I think what you mean is on your third time you have to show up for qualifying, not that you automatically have to serve on a jury. Because you can report for jury duty and never make it on to a jury, as I did a year ago. Make sense?

Yes, I was trying to say that you can't keep getting excused right off the bat, which is when being excused usually occurs. Eventually you would have to show up and wait through the lawyers questioning, and may or may not get picked, but it's at their discretion- you're not excused. I guess I still consider this serving since you're at their mercy and the process may still take days.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I've only been called once, and I only went to one panel selection, and they had their jury before they even got to me. I spent the rest of the day in the waiting room, reading, watching movies, and staring at the ceiling. At the end of the day they said "We have good news and bad news. The bad news is you didn't get selected for a jury. The good news is your service is done." Then they collected our little badges and sent us home.

That's pretty much what happened to me; now if I get called again in the next two years, I don't have to do it. ^^ I managed to read 2 out of the 3 books in the His Dark Materials trilogy, smoked a lot in the designated smoking break time and chatted to a guy who's friends with my boyf. XD

[technical.angel]

OoOo!! I finally got my hands on Golden Compass. Took a long time. Now, I have to get back Subtle Knife.

I really really want a daemon!

[Lace Neil Singer]

Me too. ^^

[reformedwaitress]

From what I understand, you can't just continue getting excused indefinitely. At some point if they call you they are going to expect you to serve- unless there are major underlying circumstances. Again, IIRC/ YMMV

Sure you can. Getting excused from a jury isn't just about "being important at work" or anything. Being picked for a jury means both attorney's agree to you being on the jury. NOT being on a jury is more common than actually serving.

I've been called numerous times and never once served on an actual jury. Know why? Cause back at home I knew all the attorneys and judges in town (I used to work for a criminal defense law firm) and now cause I know too much about the law and actually understand it. One of the sides always decides having me would be a bad idea and strikes me.

[powerboy]

My mother got called for Jury Duty. And since she is the only one in the office(manager is always gone because of doctors appointments). And if they are closed, then no money is coming in for the place. The owners wrote her a letter to give to the court explaining everything. But she still had to sit in and wait to be called. The company lost a days worth of money for that.

[Jester]

If I have to swear "to god" then that might work....need to work on bringing out my inner heathen on that.

Trust me, that won't keep you from serving, as most courts have an alternative to "swearing to god". Usually an "affirmation" instead of an oath. So that door probably won't spring ya!

[The Gatekeeper]

Update:

I called the court office and asked about the letter from my employer saying that I my absence would cause "undo hardship". The nice lady on the phone enthusiastically explained that I should bring such a thing with me, and also to put in it, that the company would not pay me for anything above the one day. She said the judge would ask me about that.

So I fired off a an email to the parties involved (not the shrew), and expect to get such a letter before my appointment (Feb. 4).

Now, let's have some fun people. We've had a "things not to do at work" thread. Lets see if we can't get a "things not to do in court" thread going here.

[Jester]

Lets see if we can't get a "things not to do in court" thread going here.

Serious: Don't wear a suit and tie.....everyone will think you are a lawyer, judge, plaintiff, or defendant. I found this out personally when in very casual Key West I showed up for jury duty wearing slacks, a very white shirt, and a tie.

People were asking me for directions in the courthouse! :lol:

Also, don't show up late. VERY MUCH don't show up late repeatedly. One yahoo almost got a contempt of court charge for doing this very thing when I was there. Pissing off the judge because you can't be bothered to be back in court when you're supposed to be is not the brightest idea around.


Look at the defendant. Look how unhappy he is to be here. Far unhappier than you are. And for good reason. Look at him long and hard, and remember his face the next time you decide to do something stupid. And then don't do something stupid. That's how he ended up here, remember?


Not So Serious: If the judge says "Order in the Court!" do NOT say "I'll have a ham on rye." They tend to frown on that sort of silliness.

Repeat after me: Game Boys when court is in session are BAD....

Don't ask the bailiff myriad questions about his gun. Just....don't.

Don't ask the judge what he is wearing under his robes. Very few judges have too much of a sense of humor to begin with, and besides, they have heard it too many times already.

Don't answer your damn cell phone. Hell, don't even have the ringer on. "Hello....Jester's Morgue...you stab 'em, we slab 'em!" does NOT go over well in the halls of justice!

Books are good for breaks in the proceedings. But don't continue to read them once court is in session. This is NOT Oprah's Book Club.

The only reason one should ever show up to court drunk is if one is the defendant in a public intoxication case. And even then, probably not the best idea.

No, the lawyers are not going to be impressed by your Shadow Puppets Masterpiece Theatre.

Don't light up that joint in court. Unless, of course, you brought enough for everyone.

Justice may be blind, but they do expect YOU to keep your eyes open. No snoozing!

[Greenday]

Trust me, that won't keep you from serving, as most courts have an alternative to "swearing to god". Usually an "affirmation" instead of an oath. So that door probably won't spring ya!

Back in high school, we had this club called Mock Trial. Most high schools in the nation have it. Every year, there is a new case, and you only get three testimonials from the three plantiff's witnesses and three from the defense's witnesses. From there, you have to come up with the best arguments to win the case for whatever side you are working for. I never wanted to play a serious role, like a lawyer or witness, so I chose to be the bailiff. It was awesome. I just had to time everyone to make sure they didn't go over their time limits. And I also got to swear people in. I also just used the normal version that most people think of when being sworn in. But in my little bailiff's seat, I noticed there were a few different ones for different religions. It was so sweet. Bailiff ftw!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Don't wear a shirt from a titty bar when you are the character witness to the defense in a domestic abuse trial.

No, I'm afraid I didn't pull that one out of thin air. :lol:

[Primer]

Don't wear a suit and tie.....everyone will think you are a lawyer, judge, plaintiff, or defendant. I found this out personally when in very casual Key West I showed up for jury duty wearing slacks, a very white shirt, and a tie.

Books are good for breaks in the proceedings.

The only reason one should ever show up to court drunk is if one is the defendant in a public intoxication case. And even then, probably not the best idea.


Actually, you do want to go in wearing "business casual" or better. I've seen people be charged with contempt of court and sent home to change for being dressed too casually.

As for things to help you not be chosen:
Carry a non-mainstream type book...say something on witchcraft, or even a Necromicon
Dribble a little rum or whiskey around your collar. Don't drink any, just be sure you smell of it.
Break out your pentagram jewelry, black lipstick and fingernail polish, etc.
When asked questions, be very opinionated.

But then you'll wind up with a court like I did....we were not interviewed in any way, shape or form, merely assigned to cases. I don't know for sure, but I think they did the "draw the cards out of a hat" method. NOBODY did not get chosen (yes, the double negative is intentional) unless they had a very specific disqualifier, such as being a full time student or having a small child or invalid at home.

What sucks for me is that as a teacher, if I am chosen it affects ALL of my students (damn near impossible to get a sub), but students are exempted from missing even one day. It seems to me that teachers should be exemtable also.

[The Gatekeeper]

As for things to help you not be chosen:
Carry a non-mainstream type book...say something on witchcraft, or even a Necromicon

Break out your pentagram jewelry, black lipstick and fingernail polish, etc.
When asked questions, be very opinionated.


Oh OK, so just be myself? :devil:

[Jester]

Actually, you do want to go in wearing "business casual" or better. I've seen people be charged with contempt of court and sent home to change for being dressed too casually.

Actually, the court down here specifically prohibited certain casual clothes like t-shirts, etc. That didn't stop people from showing up in the prohibited attire, of course, since there are so many stupid people out there. Different courts have different rules, of course.

Carry a non-mainstream type book...

Say, something on a well-known serial killer........ :devil: