Not feeling so good *long*

[Der Cute]

As the title says, I'm currently not feeling so good.

One month ago today, I was assaulted by my best friend's husband. It resulted in me almost losing conciousness, having a VERY sore throat and neck, multiple bruises all over my upper body, and his ass in jail. This all happened on a Sunday.

I was hit, smashed against a wall, choked, and punched multiple times. I fought the SOB back because, well, Last time that a man hit me was the day I promised that "Never again."

After the incident, I went straight to the cops, and nobody was home. (Murphy's Law!). Went next door to the fire station, rung the bell, and got the ball rolling on treating me & calling cops.

I didnt go to work the next day- sat around and gathered wits.
I did go to work the rest of the week, and if anyone asked what happened to my neck, I told them the truth.

Jerko was arrested a few days later. Which made me sad, ironically.

My best friend, someone I've spent a lot of time with, helped through numerous problems, advocated to State and Doctors for....married this man. This man is a person who controls and who was abused horridly as a child; resulting in his own horrid behavior.

Now, my friend loves him, and stays with him. I personally belive that the SOB has been mad at me for a long time and wanted to hit me. Because I'm strong, and was teaching his wife, my friend.

So in this, I've lost a friend, and hit a LARGE roadbump in my life.

It took about 3 days for me to get past the adrenaline and shock and actually start cryin, of all things. (always thougth that a person would cry faster :P )

Right now, I need a big fat hug. I'm single, and just have kitties. Being a geek also renders me somewhat socially inept. My best friend was my ONE friend, and i've lost her. I cant even call to say hello (personally I dont want to, but i'm sad I've lost the option).

NOW, LETS ADD MORE SH1T TO THE PILE

I was offered a job in a different state just today. So, I'm moving.
Guess who is helping me to pack?

NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I asked my sister. She said no. "I've already done enough packing & unpacking this decade."
I cant ask my friend, she's gone.
Co-workers? They are worse geeks, and I dont want to ask them, I barely know them (3 months).
Movers? Dont have the money.

I AM trying to thin out my stuff; anyone want me to email them a recliner? I think that would be at least a 1 GB attachment tho. :P

And I think, today, that the attack is coming back to me...I'm feeling affects of it again.

Just ...DO NOT ....let the seizures start.

That would be all I needed.

Ree, before you ask, I will not make lemonade out of these lemons. I HATE lemonade. Best thing I can do w/ lemons is throw them at Jerko.

(and oh god do i want to hit that sob right now)

Cutenoob

[BrightEyedKitty]

If you're in Northwest Ohio I could help you move. :P

Seriously, I'm sorry. I can relate to the "socially inept geek" thing quite well.

Does your friend just not realize how horribly her jerk-off husband assaulted you? Is she actually taking his side over yours? Have you talked to her since then?

[stormtreader]

Major ***HUGS*** :hug:
If I wasnt over the other side of the world, I would offer to help you move as well.
Hopefully the new state will be the start of a great new stage of your life, sending good karma your way :)

[sportsmom]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

and more...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


Now then, what are you doing to take care of you? Do you have anyone you can talk to like a doctor, pastor, therapist? If not, can you get some help through the victim's program with the police?

I wish I could help you move, but I do understand how big of a pain it is to move since I am gearing up for that myself.

I can't say I'm surprised that she took his side, it's the typical guy beats his wife and she yells at the officers to not take him away that she loves him. It's not easy to deal with, but it's typical. It's not love, it's fear that keeps them together.



BTW, I say you take the lemons and go throw them at the arsehole. Hell, throw a brick or two while you're there.

[NightWolf]

:hug:

Lots of hugs here as well. And I too know they're not the same. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your bad situation. :(

If you've ever seen the John Hughs movie "Better off Dead", I say you take your lemons and throw them at a sign on a post.

If there was something I could do to help up here in Wisconsin, I surely would.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Take the lemons and squeeze them into juice. Now take the juice and throw in jerkwad's eyes. Don't you feel better now?

Seriously, ***hugs*** and if I was in your town, I'd help you move and be a sounding board if you wanted to talk.

[Cia]

Holy cow Cute! <hugs> to infinity.

Your sister is an insensitive clod and your friend needs help, lots of help. I'll never understand the need for abusees to defend their abusers. Good for you for fighting back and pressing charges. Just remember to freeze the lemons before throwing them, that way they will hurt more.

Why weren't there any cops at the cop shop? Is it a one person operation?

[PuckishOne]

Cutenoob, all the above hugs and more...but if you're gonna throw the lemon juice, make sure it lands on a big ol' paper cut. :devil:

[Der Cute]

Thanks guys.

My sister can be a selfish cnut many a time, she's pulled crap like this before. I'm lucky I can have her show up @ the hearing.

As for me taking care of me: I had an appt to go see a counselor about the abuse, but, dagnabbit, I forgot!!! Plus worse, they only work the hours I work.

Lame bastages.

I am getting help from the local Office of Victims Rights / advocates. They're holding my hand thru the legal process and helping me understand why all this is happening. I understand computers left & right, upside & inside out, but for god's sakes I sure as hell DONT understand the legal process. It's tree killing, that's for sure.


My dad will prolly help w/ my plane tix and such, and I'm getting reimbursed for the move. Its just the upfront money is gonna kill me.

I plan on throwing the book @ Mr. Jerko. The whole book, plus all the lemons I can get!!! ONE thing I'm angry about is that he's using "mental illness" as his plea; so we're in Mental Court instead of Criminal.

He is mentally ill. Truly, has been diagnosed. But, for the life of me, I really think he's been planning/wanting this for A LONG TIME. Pre-meditated. So that would go against the "mental illness" plea.

I feel sorry for my friend, as she's going to hear a lot from him about all this "its not my fault, i didnt do anything wrong" blah blah. She's upset I'm sure, but I'll not be talking to her again.

I wonder if lemons up the arsehole would hurt.

Cutenoob

[XCashier]

:hug: That is just horrible. You did absolutely nothing wrong, don't let your former friend tell you otherwise. I am glad you are getting legal help, and will do everything you can to get this creep locked up for a very long time. I wish you all the best and a speedy and thorough healing.

I wonder if lemons up the arsehole would hurt.
Yeah, but pineapples would hurt worse. :devil:

[Sphinx]

<<<<<<<<<<Cutenoob>>>>>>>>>>>>


Yeah, but pineapples would hurt worse. :devil:

Frozen pineapples . . . .:devil:

[PuckishOne]

Frozen pineapples . . . .:devil:
Frozen whole pineapples.

Cutenoob, something you might want to ask via your victim's advocate is whether the laws there allow for premeditation to exist even in the presence of a mental illness. It's basically saying that, yes, he's sick, but that didn't hinder him from planning his attack beforehand. That way, Jerko can face the charge he deserves (anyone else thinking aggravated assault?), although the mental illness will still be used as mitigation to get him a lighter sentence if he's convicted.

Good luck to you, keep us all posted, and don't be afraid to PM if you need to vent. :)

[Lace Neil Singer]

Frozen whole pineapples.


Frozen whole pineapples. Salted. :devil:

[LadyMage]

Pineapples, defiitely. And *HUGS!!* - hon, you have my number. I'm no longer working nightshift so all phone calls before 9PM eastern, but you are welcome any time of day to call me. I'm a law student. I'll explain the legalese.

Bottom line, in layman's terms: prove intent, poke holes in defense. As Puck stated, there are ways to disable the mental illness defense plea if his illness doesn't intervene with intent. Present photo proof.

I wish I could help you pack up but it's a hell of a hike from my place to yours. How I wish you were in NY.

[XCashier]

Frozen whole pineapples. Salted. :devil:
And be sure to twist them when you insert them. :eek:

[SongsOfDragons]

And I think, today, that the attack is coming back to me...I'm feeling affects of it again.

Just ...DO NOT ....let the seizures start.

That would be all I needed.


Seizures? Are you epileptic?

[Der Cute]

Yep, I'm epileptic.
Been about 4 years + w/o a seizure, thank DRUGS!

So, one day at a time. ;)

Cute

[Ree]

Ree, before you ask, I will not make lemonade out of these lemons. I HATE lemonade. Best thing I can do w/ lemons is throw them at Jerko.

(and oh god do i want to hit that sob right now)Don't know how you got the idea I wouldn't be sympathetic to you, Cutenoob. (I'm not a terminally perky Pollyanna and I apologize if I've given that impression. )

I was reading your story and I was so filled with anger at that ass.
The last thing I would even recommend is lemonade.
In fact, I quite like the idea of shoving the lemons somewhere else. :p

I don't care how bad his past is, or whether he is mentally ill. There comes a point when a person cannot fall back on that stuff as an excuse.

I am so sorry you are going through all of this alone.
We are all here for you. PM's, email, MSN, Yahoo.

Any time. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v219/lilsis1125/Smileys/support.gif

[Der Cute]

Frozen whole pineapples. Salted. how about adding Tabasco Sauce???

Guys, gals..

Thank you very much, from the bottom of my bellybutton. The humor and caring has made me smile, which in turn helps me get past the wanting to beat the living LASKDJFLIWEJREFKDSFKJN out of Jerko.

Ree:

You're a mom. Moms are good @ telling kids to pull heads out of a$$es. You've done that a few times, and me being the smarta$$ I am, I didnt want to hear it.
Altho now, that I"m thinking about it, I DONT HAVE MY HEAD UP MY A$$.
I really do have a reason to be upset. :p

I personally try to find something to smile about in almost anything. Because getting down makes me stay down, and that can be a PITA.

Next week is the hearing, the first one. I'm going, with some family members and we're going to stand up and tell Mr. Jerko that he broke the law.

I honestly don't know what will happen, and I'm having to put a lot of faith into the court system. It really IS out of my hands at this moment.

Again, thanks to everyone. I feel better, but I know this won't be a quick fix.
I'll keep this updated too.

Cutenoob

[Mikkel]

Don't freeze whatever is shoved up the ass's ass, cold numbs, you want him to feel all the pain.:devil:
Oh, and Cutenoob, good luck and I hope all turn out well in the end.:wave:

[sportsmom]

And be sure to twist them when you insert them. :eek:


Put them in upside down though. That way the little points can dig in as it is UNinserted.
:devil:

[PuckishOne]

It's good to hear you're keeping your spirits up, Cutenoob.

If you've talked to LadyMage at all she's probably told you to prepare for a certain amount of ugliness in the upcoming hearings. They don't call it "being on the defensive" for nothing: If Jerko's lawyer has half a brain there's every chance they will go after you (verbally speaking, that is) so brace yourself and remember:

You aren't the bad guy in this. You didn't do anything wrong.

Mental illness is not a license to act without consequence.

You are strong, and you will prevail.

We are all here for you, so please lean on us if you need it. :hug:

[NightAngel]

He must have his talons in her pretty deep if she's taking his side. :eek:

***GIANT HUGS***

The good thing about the move is it will give you a fresh start away from all that pain.

[Misanthropical]

Rip him to shreads in the hearing, let him have it with both barrels! Good luck!

[Der Cute]

WARNING, YOUVE BEEN WARNED TO NOT DRINK WHILE READING THIS

Thought this up in the shower this morning.

Years ago I learned an old cheerleader chant..


RA RA REEE

KICK EM IN THE KNEE

RA RA RASSS

KICK EM IN THE OTHER KNEE


************

So, Today...


RA RA REEEE

KICK EM IN THE KNEEEE

RA RA RASSS

SALTED PINEAPPLE UP HIS ASSSSSS!!!!!


Wipe soda off monitor.

Cutenoob

[LostMyMind]

All this talk about shoving things up someone's ass. Reminds me of Ray Steven's song "Where the sun don't shine"

[Misty]

Ah, the 'ol "insanity" defense. This is actually good news for you, Cutenoob. From what I understand, that argument rarely works. It's often a desperate last resort for defendants who know they're screwed.

actually, I hope it works, and he gets sent to a mental institution like the one in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. If Karma is feeling extra vengeful, he might even get his very own Nurse Ratchet!

Stay strong.

[AFpheonix]

Pineapple? How about some stinging nettle? :devil:

[Cia]

I suggest a pissed off porcupine and/or Canadian thistles.

Keep your temper in check during the court stuff because his defense attorney is probably going to try to throw everything back on you. I think I watch to much Law and Order.

[JuniorMintz]

Wow, so many things going into people's asses! :eek:

Noob- I read your post yesterday morning and apologize that I didn't get a chance to respond until now. I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you, and if you need *anything*, my +3 Boots of Ass Kicking are always in my closet waiting for you. :devil:

Take care!

[NightAngel]

~Mod Hat~

Ohhh... boy. I know it's all in jest but perhaps we should tone down on the what to shove and where conversation.

Yikes! Talk about taking the ball and running with it!

End: ~Mod Hat~

[Der Cute]

Sorry.

I will say, tho, it is good to vent. I'm actually looking forward to the hearing, instead of "knowing" its coming w/ a bit of cringe thrown in.

I WANT to stand up and show him he can't hold me down. Anyone down.

I'm sure he knows I'm alive etc, but I'm gonna show him: I'm even better than before!
I've lost weight
I've been offered a higher job
I have people supporting me

I'm better than you, ya SOB.
(I promise, I will NOT do the NEENER NEENER NEENER thing @ the hearing). :lol:

I'm planning on what to wear, posture, facial expressions. All of it.

And I know on that day, I'll have lots of virtual helpers with me. Thanks guys. August 30th is the day!

Cutenoob aka Pineapple Butt :p

[LadyMage]

Planning is power when it comes to ANY court proceeding hon. you planning it out is GOOD. Run by me what your game plan is, i'll see if I can tinker with you on things.

I wish you MUCH luck in this. you're getting out there and ahead
you don't have to worry.

[PuckishOne]

LadyMage is right about the planning, but I'm so glad to see you're totally into the "I'm stronger than you" attitude - you just rock that right on into that courtroom, Cutenoob. :)

Oh, and by the way, "neener-neener"-ing is generally frowned upon in the legal setting. Unless you know the Latin. ;)

[LostMyMind]

Oh, and by the way, "neener-neener"-ing is generally frowned upon in the legal setting.
So is "Woot!!!!!! I just hit the jackpot." ;)

[BlaqueKatt]

"pwned!" is right out-but you can think it.


BlaqueKatt-crossing paths since 1976

[Primer]

Cutenoob, I hope this is not out of line, as I don't really know you, but if you are anywhere near Central Texas (Austin-Houston-Dallas area), I will come help you pack up to move. I'm sure there are probably others on here willing to help out, if they are reasonably near by.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Damn Cutenoob . . . and I thought my ex was bad. At least I didn't have to put up w/anything physical.

But still, stick to your guns and make sure this jerk gets what's coming to him. NOBODY has to put up with abuse from anyone, be it physical, mental, etc. It's all abuse and nobody deserves it.

I wish I could come help you move, but I'm stuck here in NC, so you'll have to settle for my being there in spirit. A move is hard as heck to undergo, however a fresh start may be helpful for you (after you get through the hard part of physically moving that is.)

Above all, take some time and de-stress. Your well-being is important (mentally and physically) and we all know how stress can do some weird things to a person. Even if it's just for a few minutes a day, try to shut everything off mentally and take a mini-break. Or unwind with a bit of music/light reading/whatever you prefer to relax.

Hang in there . . . it'll get better. It's always the darkest just before the dawn. :hug:

[morgana]

Cute, I'm so sorry you had to endure that. Keep thinking good thoughts; I admire your strength.

Where are you? I'd help pack if I'm close . . .

[RavenStarr]

Cute,many many hugs. (((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))).

I am just horrified at what happened to you. Nobody not even your worst enemy should ever have to go through that.

Cute I admire your courage and strength. You will come through this stronger than before.

Again (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

[Der Cute]

Well, court date has come and gone.

Mr. Jerko was released on his own recogisance to his home/etc within 48 hours of his arrest.

HIS ARREST OCCURED JULY 23.

Why was I only called/ notified of a court hearing FOR AUGUST??????

Ahah, you say.

THE PROSECUTORS DID NOT MAKE EFFORT TO CALL ME.....THE DINGLEBUTTS ADMITTED TO SCREWING UP IN THE COURTROOM AT THE HEARING!!!!!!!!

My phone number is in the book. My number has not changed FOR OVER 8 YEARS. My address data is easily found by DMV records and Police Dept. databases (when I call to bitch about noise...they know my addy by my ph #).
So, why, Sherlock friends, DID THE PROSECUTORS NOT contact me?????

See, if they had, I would have shown up for the Arraignment hearing (right after Mr. Jerko got arrested). Then I would have shown off the bruises and the pain and told the Judge how much of a Turd this guy is. And he would have NOT be bailed or released.

Well....since time has passed and he's "behaved" since he was let out, we cant go back and drag his butt to jail. :rolleyes:

I am asking my advocate to push for 6 mos jail, with 4 suspended. That way, he spends 2 in the can. If he gets busted while OUT of can, he goes back in for the other 4. I think this guy is violent, and wanted to hit me.
He's also going to hit other people - dont let that happen.

But, alas, the Timing Faeri has stepped in.

I'm leaving, on a Jet Plane...dunno when I'll be back again...Oh babe, I hate to goooooooooo..*end cheesey*

I'm moving to a newer, better, GOVERNMENTAL *heh* job in WA. I have to pack my crap and boogie out of this place, ASAP.

My plane ticket is Sept 22.

THE NEXT HEARING IS SEPT 20.

I might not go. I might. I dunno, depends on how stressed/ crazy my life is at the moment.

Heh. I did tell Advocate that he caused a seizure due to stress, the doctor bills, oh, many many problems. She thinks he is a turd too...and is pushing for me.

Well, guys, what do you think?

Cutenoob

[ditchdj]

Yeah and do the prosecutors know that if he ends up killing someone when he snaps again the media's gonna rip them to pieces and their careers will essentially be finished?

Wanna know what a REAL injustice would be? That if this douchebag starts beating on the wrong person and the family sues the person who puts him down.

[symposes]

Hopefully you will feel up to going to court and telling the judge everything.
Would be a hell of a going away present, eh?
Im sorry to hear about all this, but congrats on your new job anyway :).

[Misanthropical]

They didn't mail you anything either? When we had to go to court over someone trying to break down our door to get in, we got court papers in the mail letting us know when the trail was going to be held and where.

[Der Cute]

Well, another update on Mr. Butthead.

I found an entry in my diary with a date of 7/24, the date after the assault. I gave that information to my advocate, who was delighted at the quotes inside of it.

I also went to the hearing on 9/20, and the Prosecutor's office did not like the idea of Mr. Butthead continuing his current slacky sentencing from PREVIOUS misdemeanor.

Not bad, at least a little bit towards me.

Mr. Butthead is still out, but I'm away..far enough to not be in trouble :)

I'm frustrated at the slow pace, at the lack of planning on people...and how little the court seems to care. But thats also them not seeing some evidence of me....and once they do..I hope Prosecutor figures Mr. Butthead for a real asshole.

Cross bodyparts, people. I'm in for a lonnnnnng ride.

Cutenoob

[Der Cute]

Well, life has handed me some interesting fruit parts since I've left Alaska.

There was a hearing on Dec 20 w/ Mr.Butthead and the court situation, he is to continue his "tasks" which are get more counseling, work on your behaviour and fix attitude/ adjust medications.

After the tasks are done, THEN we get to do sentencing. Which, really, has turned out to be a slap on the wrist.

If he behaves and doesnt break the law during "tasks" he gets 3 years probation and a misdemeanor charge of Disorderly Conduct.

If he misbehaves and breaks rules, he gets to goto Criminal Court, and probably jail time for him.

I know its Xmas time, I know forgiving is in the works here, but DAMMIT I think Im getting the short end of the stick on this one! I cant throw the library at him, he's being too good...I have a sick feeling that he'll behave during the time he should and will bust loose after they stop watching him. I keep thinking he's going to cause more damage than anyone knows just yet.....and even though I can point and say HE MIGHT...there is no feasible evidence to say that he will.

Just, GRR. You assaulted me, hit me..Not just disorderly conduct.

I wonder how long it will be until he breaks rules.


Cutenoob

[MystyGlyttyr]

I would volunteer to hunt him down, pick a fight, and let him have some lucky hits so he'd get in trouble (and THEN let him get his butt royally handed to him by a girl), but I can't afford to travel. Grrr.

I've known the justice system sucked even before OJ, but at least SOMETHING has come out of all of it. He does have marks against him and those will count for something. I dunno if the three strikes policy is in effect there but getting more and more things on his record will only count against him in the end. If you maul one person, it might be just heat of passion, but a pattern does show a depraved psycho.

I'm not completely sure from reading this whether he's beaten someone before (and if he has consider what I'm about to say null, void and spit on), but if you were the first, maybe it was a major wake-up call to him. Maybe he realized "Oh my God, if I don't get help, I will do this to someone else" and that's why he's behaving so well. I know when I was younger, and the first time I had a red-out (so angry that I didn't see anything but red) and really hurt somebody (even though in my case the punk deserved it), I went through a period just like that where I really reined myself in because I hated the feeling of having caused that much pain to someone. I still prefer to try and keep my temper in check and do more of my venting harmlessly (online, video games, etc.), because I know that if I were to snap again, I, again, could really, REALLY hurt someone, and fuck all if I want that on my conscience if God forbid, the next person isn't some jerkoff who NEEDS a sound thrashing.

Keep your chin up and just know that at least you did something...maybe it doesn't seem like it counts now, but if he screws up again, your mark is made against him.

[Der Cute]

Well, today was Mr. Butthead's graduation from the court system, with the sentencing.

He got:
One case (animal cruelty) dismissed
One case (vandalism) fined & probation
One case (mine, assault & battery) DOWN TO DISORDERLY CONDUCT with probation.

I'm including the victim statement to this. I'm past being pissed, I'm thinking with steaming ears!!!
DURING THE READING OF STATEMENT THE JUDGE ASKED ME IF I WAS ALMOST DONE!!!!!

Argh. I'm angry he didnt get a good enough whap over the head on this.
I'm the victim here, he got applause and high fives for behaving well. (huh)

I'm gonna go cry in the corner now.

Cutenoob
[/LIST]

[Andara Bledin]

Oh, that is so.... I'm mad just reading about it!

If you have any sort of evidence for back up on the cause of the siezure, you might consider taking him to court for a civil trial for whatever you can manage to wring out of him. Doctors visits, counseling, time off work, medication, etc, etc.

Although, what with you having moved, it might not be worth the effort.

^-.-^