Where did you go?

[Nakajo]

Usually I'm pretty understanding in these situations, having worked in a restaurant for a long time, but she wasn't even trying, it seemed.

My boyfriend and I headed to one of our usual haunts, The G.T. We're pretty well known there, as the "young cute couple that tips great" (which I overheard our usual waitress tell the hostess one day ;) ) Anyway, the place is pretty dead (being 3pm on a Monday), and we're seated immediately. Our usual waitress wasn't working, so the hostess sent someone we've never been served by before.

Basically, in the time we are there, for almost an hour, I see our waitress a grand total of 3 times:

1: took our drink and food order.
2: delivered our food.
3: delivered our check.

Not once did we get a single refill on drinks, even after asking. By the time she left and I realized I never got my fries, I guess it was too late, because the next time I saw her, she had our check. Not once did we see anyone else we could have flagged down. She was the only person serving, and we were the only people in there.

On my way to the bathroom, I found out what she had been doing the whole time: she was sitting and talking in the waiting room with her friends... and as soon as shut the door behind me, I hear her say, "God, I hate waiting on young people."

*DING DING DING* I remember this stereotype! We're young, therefore we tip bad and aren't worth your time! Well, guess what, young lady who's still in HIGH SCHOOL and talking to you cliquey friends on company time, guess who's going to reinforce that stereotype just because of your suckiness?

I admit I feel a little sucky, because I did only leave $5 on a $28. Normally, I tip around $10 on that amount, because I know it can be hard work serving food. But honestly, I feel I paid her more than what she earned.

[cactus]

I'm no math genius, but isn't that like almost 17% ?
If I'm correct, then you were way too nice with her, and she really did not deserve the usual amount that you tip. :) (But I'm norwegian, so what do I know about tipping? :o

[NotSoInnocent]

You left an almost 18% tip.... I'd have left a dollar. Maybe 50 cents.

This from a former waitress.

She sucked. Badly.

You weren't sucky at all.

[Stormraven]

50 cents sounds about right from me, too. And I'd have said something to the hostess, too.

[Becks]

The only suckage to be seen was from the waitress.

[Saydrah]

You didn't do anything WRONG, but you also didn't do anything helpful. There's a great comic that I saw once where the young black man sits down at a restaurant and the waiter walks up thinking, "African americans don't tip well, so I won't bother giving him good service," and in the next panel the patron is thinking, "This guy never gives me good service, so I won't bother to tip well."

You DID tip well- but you hit the nail on your head in your own post- reinforcing stereotypes doesn't make them go away.

You did nothing wrong and you gave her more than she deserved, but if I overheard that from a waitress, I would have asked the manager if I could speak with her for a moment, and politely said, "Miss, I overheard you saying you don't like waiting on young people. I presume this is because of the misconception that young people never tip well. I wanted you to know that we heard that statement, and that we still tipped you 18%- but that we usually tip over 30%, which you can verify by talking to any of the other waitresses who have served us here. Next time we come in, I hope you will have reconsidered the idea of giving bad service to young people."

[wagegoth]

I would have left her $2 and a note, since she didn't come back to the table, or asked the hostess for a manager and explained the situation. If I had spoken to the manager, I would have told him to talk to your regular waitress.

[d962831]

where's the option for you tipping to much? Because it sounds to me like you tipped way to much for that kind of service.

[PepperElf]

i voted for "the waitress was a little sucky"
cos i don't think she deserved that much for the tip.

personally i do 15% for sucky service. though i have friends who feel if it's sucky even that is an overtip.

i would say... she should be glad she got over 15% and then, you should let the place know exactly how she treated you.

[d962831]

yeah, 15% is the average tip, so unless you're making big bucks most people don't go much more than 20%.
for the kind of service she gave, and the comment I would've done around 7%

[MMATM]

I went for "waitress was a little sucky" only because I wouldn't have tipped anything above 10%. And I would've spoken to the hostess about the waitress ignoring my table and sitting in the bathroom on her cell phone on company time, in case she was wondering whether I was just complaining for the sake of complaining.

Nobody in high school has the right to complain about "young people" being so bad to serve. Firstly because many high schoolers don't tip at all, unless you count the leftover $0.64 from their $27.36 check. But mainly because most of those who believe that their own category of people (young, old, black, white, rich, poor, whatever) are bad tippers are basing their judgment mainly on the fact that they themselves are bad tippers. 99% of the rest are basing it on having worked as servers.

That last 1% of the minority are the well-mannered types which should have their own conservation society.

[/rant]

[myswtghst]

Count me as having chosen "No, the waitress was a little sucky." because there wasn't an option that fit better. You were not sucky at all, except in the sense that she will not learn her lesson from this experience, and actually made out MUCH better than she should have. If it'd been me, even if it would make me sucky, she would have gotten $3 MAX.

I agree with other posters, your best bet would have been either to say something to her, or to let the hostess/management know what was going on - I'd bet they'd be grateful to know what she's up to on company time. ;)

Even if theres a chance that her mind wouldn't have been changed, you'll never know, because you didn't really do anything to change it - although you didn't completely reinforce the stereotype, since you (IMO) overtipped her in spite of her behaviour. When I worked in a profession that involved tips, I always treated everyone equally well, because you never knew who was going to tip - I learned quite quickly that often the people who looked like they'd tip big rarely did tip at all, and the people you'd never expect it from tipped way too much. :rolleyes: Go figure.

[Lace Neil Singer]

(Disclaimer: I am from the UK!)

I personally would have given her nothing. Plus, I would have left her a note telling her exactly why she got nothing, and also happened to mention the fact that I gave my usual waitress a huge tip. I then would have talked to the manager and asked him to take her aside and give her a quiet word. Her behaviour would have been understandable only if the place was slammed; since there wasn't anyone there but you, she was sucky.

[PepperElf]

ironic really

she assumed you would be bad, therefore she felt justified in being bad first.
in a way... leaving no tip would then reinforce her prejudice.

so, leaving just 15% also shows that you can act better than she can.
but i still believe her bosses should know how she's acting.

[patiokitty]

I would have left nothing as a tip, after speaking to the manager about what you overhead. There is no excuse for that sort of service all. Especially when the restaurant is slow.

I know that waitressing is hard work - I did it for 3 years. I busted my butt for all my customers, no matter what age they were or if it looked like they'd leave me crappy tips. It's part of being a service professional, in my opinion.

And my favourite customers was a group of 4-5 highschoolers that would come in every weekday after school for coffee and dessert while working on their homework in one of the corner tables. They were a pleasant bunch of kids, and while they didn't tip great I didn't mind serving them. And when they found out I was leaving that restaurant they came in on my last shift and pooled their money together to leave me a $50 tip after paying for 4 coffees, and 4 pieces of cheesecake.

Sure, waitressing is usually seen as a crappy job, but why not be good at it anyways? Take pride in what you do in any job and you'll go places.

[Nakajo]

ironic really

she assumed you would be bad, therefore she felt justified in being bad first.
in a way... leaving no tip would then reinforce her prejudice.

so, leaving just 15% also shows that you can act better than she can.
but i still believe her bosses should know how she's acting.

I considered leaving much less than $5, like most here said I should had done, but this is exactly why I didn't. I am a college student, older than the waitress at least, but leaving a little amount would had just proved her theory right.

Also, I have a self-made rule: I never ask for a sup from the person I am having trouble with. Reason being, that person usually sticks around to hear what you have to say, and I much rather say it to the sup in private. As there wasn't anyone else around, and I just wanted out of there, the whole situation wasn't even worth my time at that point.

[gunsage]

When I go about restaurantin', often I will figure out what 10% is, what half of that is, then round up. Therefore, often the server will end up getting 16 - 17% and if they do a good job, I often do 20% and up. Otherwise, NO TIP AT ALL. I'm very adamant about this. I believe if you do a good job or it's obvious "it's one of those days," I'm willing to give you benefit of the doubt and give you a tip. Awesome server? Regular server? 20, baby. :D

You should have left NOTHING. From what you've stated, several suckiness happenings occurred, at least that you mentioned...

- Despite the fact that you were virtually the only one there, she was a ninja.
- Never got refills as a result nor confirmation that order was complete.
- Blatant about stereotyping.

I would also later have called and complained to management. Here's why...do you really want to be served by that person again? Unless you're certain she's not there again, you're going to have to wonder about that each and every time you decide to go, assuming you do decide to go again.

My wife and I frequented TeeJayes a number of times and we had a regular server, Marcus (this was years ago, so don't worry about it). Along with me and wifey, there was also her sister and her boyfriend of the day. :p Anyway, like I said, this was a place we frequented...then Marcus quit. Now, Marcus was just a fun guy to mess around with and we gave him awesome tips. The sister also got his number and...well, that's another story, but anyway! :p

After he quit, we'd often get this one guy who was kind of a douche, so I messed with him...constantly. For example, and yes, this is for anyone who's never been to TeeJayes or just doesn't have one. They have this thing called a Barnyard Buster. It's a cheap meal that's BIG. If I remember correctly, they have gravy on top of biscuits and home fries with eggs (normally over easy) underneath all of it. Makes me drool just thinking about it. :D

Anyway, he was always very short with us, didn't really give us refills, etc...and yet, it seemed like he was ALWAYS our server after Marcus left. So I started asking for my eggs to be made different EVERY TIME. I went in this order each time we frequented until the very last (and you'll see why in a second)...

- Over easy.
- Over medium.
- Poached.
- Hard.
- Scrambled.
- Benedict.

:lol: You should've seen the look on his face when I said benedict. He came back about 5 minutes later, trying to act all smug...

Douche: "Sir, we can make them bendict, but you'll have to provide your own hollandaise sauce."
Me: "Oh. Well, over easy then."

Here's another fun thing to do with a lousy server: Waitress (or waiter in this case) Tag. It works like this...you come in in a group (I think this is when he stopped getting us refills). As soon as he serves your drinks, one or more of you casually sip at your drinks while one person completely gulps his/hers down. The waitress comes back, picks up your empty glass, and walks away. While waiting for the return, someone else finishes. The waitress comes back with your full glass, picks up the empty, and leaves. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Literally, we kept him going for about 5 returns until he finally got pissed and didn't come back until our order was up. It's not in my nature to mess with servers normally, but when you're an established douche and I'm not going to get away from you unless I eat somewhere else, it's just as fun to mess with you.

Lesson of the day: customers can suck. If you suck first, expect the customer to suck more. If you're not sucking and the customer is, post here! :lol:

[Saydrah]

Gunsage, sounds like you were a pretty sucky customer. The Golden Rule very much applies to being a customer OR an employee. You will reap what you sow.

Complaining privately to a supervisor the first time Marcus was rude or didn't get you refills, and asking for a different server next time, would have been more than sufficient. Instead, you chose to give this server ample reasons to provide poor service, while never speaking with him or his manager about the reason you were being so rude.

Thumbs down.

[bainsidhe]

What I don't understand is, if you were missing fries and refills, why didn't you find someone to get them for you? I know you said no one was around, but why didn't you pipe up a bit or look for someone? It's one thing not to say anything to the server when you see her/him being slammed and too busy to adequately take care of your table. But when there are few patrons and your server is MIA, you should address the issue of not being served. Doing so in a polite manner is not sucky behavior.

I would have still tipped 15% UNTIL I heard the comment. Then I would have brought it to the manager's attention and/or asked the server for an explanation when the check was brought out. Intentionally providing poor service is horrible and the server should be called on it. Also, if you were missing part of your meal, that part should have been credited. Any responsible establishment would do so, though this would involve management. Don't count on little miss server to do it.

[Sliceanddice]

I would have left her $2 and a note, since she didn't come back to the table, or asked the hostess for a manager and explained the situation. If I had spoken to the manager, I would have told him to talk to your regular waitress.

same here but i may done 2.80 so it was 10%

[Nakajo]

Good news, folks! I took your advice! ;)

My boyfriend and I went in to GT again today, and our regular waitress was working (:D). We told her what had happened the last time, and she went and got the manager. He did NOT seem happy at ALL about what we told him. According to him, they've had a lot of problems and complaints about the girl, and now our complaint was one too many. He then said that he'd have a talk to her about it right then and take it from there.

I got really worried, I didn't want her to get fired or anything (I'd hate to have that on my head), but right before we left, our regular waitress came up and told us what had happened (this is why I love her, she always lets us in the know).

She said that the manager told the bad waitress about all the complaints about her lackluster performance. that he was going to put her through a "re-training", which is that he'd take her off the floor (no waitressing) for a long while, put her on a regular hourly pay and have her do other duties (bussing tables, dishes, hosting) and then have her shadow others for a while until she relearned what she needed to know. If she didn't show improvement after that, they'd boot her. Apparently, she didn't take it well, got very mad, and told him he "couldn't f***ing do that to her". :eek: The manager then said that she was free to quit now if she wanted to save him the time, and she was about 2 seconds away of him making that decision for her. :lol:

The bad waitress ended up staying. :rolleyes:

I guess we'll see what happens in a couple weeks after this 'program'.

[Velfarre2001]

Gunsage, sounds like you were a pretty sucky customer. The Golden Rule very much applies to being a customer OR an employee. You will reap what you sow.

Complaining privately to a supervisor the first time Marcus was rude or didn't get you refills, and asking for a different server next time, would have been more than sufficient. Instead, you chose to give this server ample reasons to provide poor service, while never speaking with him or his manager about the reason you were being so rude.

Thumbs down.

Sounds like they were making Marcus reap what he sowed. So your metaphor kind of fails here.

Of course a manager should have been informed and more should have been done if possible, and it was not the best way to handle it, but that was not the best metaphor to choose in this scenario. Just thought I would throw that out there.

On topic, congrats on a good ending Nakajo .

[Becks]

Nakajo, I'm happy to hear the update. :highfive:

[mae]

I voted "No, the waitress was a little sucky" because I think you should have asked for a manager after your heard her little comment.

Other than that... I'm glad there's a resolution to the situation and that the waitress has to do some re-training! :)

[tollbaby]

I voted that the waitress was sucky....

what I am absolutely flabbergasted by is that 24 people (more than half) voted that this woman deserved to keep her tip.

[Saydrah]

Sounds like they were making Marcus reap what he sowed. So your metaphor kind of fails here.

Of course a manager should have been informed and more should have been done if possible, and it was not the best way to handle it, but that was not the best metaphor to choose in this scenario. Just thought I would throw that out there.

On topic, congrats on a good ending Nakajo .

Disagree. Two wrongs do not make a right- they were perpetuating a cycle of suck, so continuing to reap what they sowed. Marcus would have gotten his comeuppance without Gunsage + company sucking so much, and Gunsage would have received a different waiter had he made clear that he did not want Marcus to serve him due to Marcus's behavior. Had they been polite but firm, they would have gotten the same from management; instead they were rude, and continued to get the same from their waiter.

[Velfarre2001]

Disagree. Two wrongs do not make a right- they were perpetuating a cycle of suck, so continuing to reap what they sowed. Marcus would have gotten his comeuppance without Gunsage + company sucking so much, and Gunsage would have received a different waiter had he made clear that he did not want Marcus to serve him due to Marcus's behavior. Had they been polite but firm, they would have gotten the same from management; instead they were rude, and continued to get the same from their waiter.

Depends on how you want to slice it. I generally like to see how far I can stretch a metaphor when I am bored.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I voted that the waitress was sucky....

what I am absolutely flabbergasted by is that 24 people (more than half) voted that this woman deserved to keep her tip.

I voted for that one...but with the word "tip" in quotation marks I assumed it was implying that she received a crappy tip and deserved it, but then I hadn't figured out the actual percentage, so I didn't realize she had actually received a fairly standard tip when I voted. Plus I think she was more than a "little" sucky :p

[Anakah]

Honestly if I received horrible service, I won't tip. That hardly ever happens because I know how it is needing tips.

But if you think about it, tips are for good service, not just doing your job. I know that sounds harsh but I heard that somewhere and it makes sense. Doing a crappy job doesn't exactly warrant you any brownie points.

I can understand if its swamped and the waitress or waiter is running around and is trying but when they openly admit they did it for crappy reasons, not worth it. I honestly wouldn't have left her anything--which I get would help with her "stereotype" but thats what she gets for assuming.

The other day we went to Chili's and the place is expensive enough and we're not rich. It was kind of quiet, the food wasn't as good as usual and our waiter didn't pay to much attention to us. I leave for the bathroom and learn that my fiance tipped our waiter $20 on our like $50 meal. I was about to kill him. On the upside I did learn that we made the waiter's night so that was a plus.

[MyEccentricHell]

You were way to generous with the tip you left. Personally I would've left her 10%.