Can't you just ping my modem?

[Anriana]

No. Not because I hate you (although I do), not because I'm bad at my job, but because it is not freaking possible. I know you're desperately throwing out any technical jargon you've ever heard hoping it will trigger the internet fairies to cast their magic spell so you can get back to the internet poker game you've invested $5 in, but it is not freaking possible. Furthermore, if it was possible, I would do it, without your prompting, much like the ten other things I've managed to do on my own since you called, because anything I could do to get you online is far preferable to listening to you whine for ten minutes because we can't get a tech to your house for a whole day and you were offline for an hour three years ago and our service is just horrible and you're going to the BBB and the newspapers and you want a free year of service.



People ask this like ten calls a day. ><

[Trayol]

How would one even ping a modem anyway?

Is there a special tool similar to hammer with which it could be whacked?

The use of telekinetic shock through the telephone?

Would you :censored: :censored: with :censored: :censored: and a :censored: :censored:?



Behold the power of self-editing. It's fun to be a guy.

[Lingering Grin]

How would one even ping a modem anyway?

Start > Run > "cmd" > "ping [enter IP address]"


Though I don't see how that would accomplish anything if the servers would down, you'd just get:


Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Request timed out.


...yeah, that accomplished something :p

[Shabo]

Yeah, pinging a modem wouldn't accomplish a thing. But it makes it sound like they know something... to someone who knows nothing...

[protege]

*resists the urge to quote a certain Monty Python movie...*

:D

[BravoOrig]

Such is my life daily. I can't reset your modem since it can't get a connection!

[greensinestro]

Such is my life daily. I can't reset your modem since it can't get a connection!

I get this all the time, too, and much of it is because the customer does not want to do it themselves. They still have the kit their modem and all the instructions came in, but it's better to have them hand held and spoon fed instead of trying it themselves.

I feel your pain.

[BravoOrig]

That brings up another one, the non-self install, self-install. I guess those who do it successfully aren't going to call but why do these people think they can just get a modem and hook it up themselves? I guess a rep or the local office convinces them that its easy but if they can't tell me where the Start button is located, forget about it. We should start charging an install fee when they have to call in to have us tell them to do what the instructions already say.

I get this all the time, too, and much of it is because the customer does not want to do it themselves. They still have the kit their modem and all the instructions came in, but it's better to have them hand held and spoon fed instead of trying it themselves.

I feel your pain.

[Lingering Grin]

That brings up another one, the non-self install, self-install. I guess those who do it successfully aren't going to call but why do these people think they can just get a modem and hook it up themselves? I guess a rep or the local office convinces them that its easy but if they can't tell me where the Start button is located, forget about it. We should start charging an install fee when they have to call in to have us tell them to do what the instructions already say.

Actually, you SHOULD.

My dad used to run a computer repair business. Sometimes, they would get the DUMBEST calls ever.

Note: This was several years ago, and I don't remember the EXACT piece of equipment he was dealing with since this was like 12 years ago, I do know that now-a-days it's outdated and not used anymore.)

Well this one lady called up with a hardware problem. They did some trouble shooting over the phone, (which they did as a courtesy for free, even though they were a privately owned company. It was just a good business tactic, and it gets people to trust you and come back later to spend money.) Well the problem couldn't be fixed that easily.

However, if they had to make a house-call you get charged. It started at a flat rate, and then extra woould be added on if more work/time was needed than they originally expected.

So, my dad goes out to the lady's house. Takes one look at the computer, and in 10 seconds figures out the problem. One of the screws wasn't tightened down properly, which meant the hardware wasn't making a good connection with the rest of the system. So he reached into his back pocket, pulled out a screw driver, turned it TWICE, fixed the problem, and left.

Easiest $75 he ever made. (He did make an easier $100 once, but that's a completely different story lol)

[lordlundar]

Easiest $75 he ever made. (He did make an easier $100 once, but that's a completely different story lol)

<holding up cattle prod> start talking.:devil:

[Lingering Grin]

<holding up cattle prod> start talking.:devil:


Well, it's not that interesting.

He's a police officer and had to go to court.

Well, going to court is a minimum of 2-hours overtime. (Which at the time, was about $50 an hour for him).

The start time for the case starts, and the defendant isn't there. Judge turns to the defense attorney and says "If she isn't here in 10 minutes, I'm suspending her license."

10 minutes passes

Judge: "Okay, suspend her license."
My Dad: "Thank You."

and then he went home.
Total time spent on the clock: 15 minutes.
Money made: $100.

Most expensive two words he's ever spoken.

[CorDarei]

Yeah, pinging a modem wouldn't accomplish a thing. But it makes it sound like they know something... to someone who knows nothing...

sure it accomplishes something... it establishes that the hardware can talk to each other. Pinging is good when you're troubleshooting a network issue. like say.. remote desktop. so if you can ping it, you know it's something else, if you can't, then you most likely know the h/w is down or a connection between the two is bad.

[Geek King]

sure it accomplishes something... it establishes that the hardware can talk to each other. Pinging is good when you're troubleshooting a network issue. like say.. remote desktop. so if you can ping it, you know it's something else, if you can't, then you most likely know the h/w is down or a connection between the two is bad.

Except the way it is used by the user here, they obviously think pinging is some kind of magical feel-good wave that makes everything better. It seems to be already established that the connection is down. What's worse, there are a few, rare, situations where a ping will fix a network issue, by "waking up" a timed out connection from one end. That's the simple explanation, but I have seen it work like that, and have had to prompt some connections that were a little odd.

I guess it can be sumed up as follows: Any science of a much higher level than you understand appears to be magic. :p

[Broomjockey]

I guess it can be sumed up as follows: Any science of a much higher level than you understand appears to be magic. :p

The quote is "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

Arthur C. Clarke

[CorDarei]

The quote is "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

Arthur C. Clarke

i think the writer of the dragon knight series summed it up nicely too, something simliar to that. (gordon r. dickson i think his name was)

[Raerlynn]

Actually, depending on your level of admin access, it is possible to ping a modem. My ISP grants that level of access to the majority of its techs, which is a surefire test as to where a problem lies. If I ping the modem, I know everything up to that modem is golden. If the ping fails, then check the status lights. No sync means more troubleshooting, and a solid sync light means repair department FUBARed the provisioning.

For the technically inclined, this ping is not an ip based one, but an ATM cell based ping; it requires admin rights to run.

[Geek King]

The quote is "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

Arthur C. Clarke

Only if you're quoting Clarke. :angel:

Also, if you have physical access to the machine, and it is an internal network card, you can check 127.0.0.1 for activity. If that doesn't come back, the card is fragged.

[Cyphr]

run him through ping loopback 80 times to prove a ping is useless :devil:

[Anriana]

The quote is "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

Arthur C. Clarke


Ooh I like that quote.