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View Full Version : A few gems from the past two weeks (long)


solidmetalgear19
02-03-2008, 05:13 AM
Just like the title says.

The not so MILF

So I'm tearing tickets when these two women (bout 30-40 roughly) come through.

One of them leans in kinda close and goes

W: Are you single

:eek:

Me: No, I'm actually arranged to be married "wtf:

Seriously. Not only was this woman soooo not my type, but you also have to figure. I was in diapers when she was in highschool.

Banging my girl

It's winding down at night while I'm sweeping around the lobby. I pass by these kids and our exchange goes like this.

Kids: K
Me: Want's to go home.

K: Hey man, what's up.

At this point I'm not going to bullshit him

Me: I'm tired and i want to go home.

K: You got a girlfriend?

Me: What does that have to do with anything?

K: You gonna go home and bang her?

:censored: That little pissant. Who the hell does he think he is asking a total stranger that. I mean, i don't have a girlfriend. But still.

Me: *angry tone* I don't think that's any of your business.

And i walked away.

I am not a bank you f-ing moocher

I'm walking around when I pass this preteen girl.

Girl: Can I have a dollar.

Yeah sure, okay. How abou tin exchange for your immortal soul?

Me: *quickly* No

Girl: Why?

Are you f-ing kidding me?

Me: Because I am not the first national bank of (insert theater name here).

Yes I said that.


The lights are on, I'm cleaning, get out

It's simple, if you see us in a theatre, cleaning, with the lights on, it is NOT an open invitaion to come in and sit down. Have some f-ing patience.

Yet people still do it time after time after time.

People: Can we sit down yet?

:banghead: What the hell do you think. Does this picture scream "Now seating" to you? Do you want to sit in other people's garbage?

There's a little invention called a clock

Guy: What time does my movie start

Look at your ticket numb-nuts

Me: 6:40

Guy: What time is it now?

:banghead:

(insert time that my watch says)

With this much lack of commen sense, I'm surprised our entire species hasn't starved to death.

ktopmil
02-03-2008, 06:02 AM
UGH!!! I would have reamed that adolescent numb nut. I had these kids, who are about 13-15 come through my line, keep in mind I'm in my twenties. They asked if I wanted to party later(WTF?). I quickly responded with "My shift ends waaay after your bedtimes buddy, and I have lots of homework." Also, I may be a cashier and have money in my drawer, but that doesn't mean that I can get you change. I AM NOT A BANK! YOUR HOLDING UP MY LINE! GO AWAY! I feel for you, you must deal with the worst all the time.

Broomjockey
02-03-2008, 07:55 AM
There's a little invention called a clock

Guy: What time does my movie start

Look at your ticket numb-nuts

Me: 6:40

Guy: What time is it now?

:banghead:

(insert time that my watch says)

This one's actually kind fun to deal with. If you do it right. And it's fairly simple. Just say "Can I see your ticket please? Uh huh... Looks like it says 6:40, so there you go! :D"

Blade_Raver
02-03-2008, 09:07 AM
Banging my girl

It's winding down at night while I'm sweeping around the lobby. I pass by these kids and our exchange goes like this.

Kids: K
Me: Want's to go home.
K: Hey man, what's up.
At this point I'm not going to bullshit him
Me: I'm tired and i want to go home.
K: You got a girlfriend?
Me: What does that have to do with anything?
K: You gonna go home and bang her?
Me: *angry tone* I don't think that's any of your business.
And i walked away.



Could have had fun with that one, granted the kids were at least your age.
"No, I'm gonna go bang your girlfriend instead."




There's a little invention called a clock

Guy: What time does my movie start
Me: 6:40
Guy: What time is it now?
Me: (insert time that my watch says)



Could have had some fun with this one also...

1st question - answer "What time do you think it starts?"
2nd question - answer "Do you have a watch?"

Becks
02-03-2008, 04:53 PM
I think the OP should carry Monopoly money around for people like the aforementioned pre-teen moocher.

Toujin
02-04-2008, 01:06 AM
Banging my girl

It's winding down at night while I'm sweeping around the lobby. I pass by these kids and our exchange goes like this.

Kids: K
Me: Want's to go home.

K: Hey man, what's up.

At this point I'm not going to bullshit him

Me: I'm tired and i want to go home.

K: You got a girlfriend?

Me: What does that have to do with anything?

K: You gonna go home and bang her?

:censored: That little pissant. Who the hell does he think he is asking a total stranger that. I mean, i don't have a girlfriend. But still.

Me: *angry tone* I don't think that's any of your business.

And i walked away.



Sounds like something the boys I attended highschool with would ask, many of them were incredibly immature. It was like attending class with Beavis & Butthead sometimes.