DGoddessChardonnay
08-30-2006, 02:16 AM
I just got back a short time ago from the funeral home (which was pretty hard to find at that.) It still doesn't seem like it's actually happened.
Butt was our neighbor when we were growing up . . . she lived across the street from us w/her first husband, Baldy. They had 4 kids (two boys and two girls from Baldys' first marriage) that Butt loved and raised as if they had been her own (their biological mother died when the youngest was 6 months old.)
She and my mother were best buddies . . . going everywhere and doing things together. Whenever you saw one, you saw the other. She was like a second mom to me and my brother. She had been found dead by her husband Sunday morning.
Her real name was Rose, but my brother had a speed impediment (still has it to a degree) and would take spells of running away. He'd show up on her front porch and peek through the windows, chanting "Butt . . .Butt . . ." The name stuck.
She had been battling diabetes for at least 20 years now and it caught up with her. She was also suffering from neuropathy and arthritis as well. It had gotten to the point where she had to quit working (we tried to get her to quit several years ago but she persisted b/c she needed the insurance) because she was getting to the point where she couldn't hardly move without pain.
Her first hubby, Baldy, died about 8 years ago (battled cancer. He suffered a lot, poor guy) and had remarried about 5 years ago. Nobody likes the second husband (who we shall refer to as PF) None of the kids likes him. My mom can't stand him either, as he's tried to keep her from coming over to see her (didn't work. My mom has a mind and mouth of her own.)
Her daughters came by our house Sunday right after lunchtime and broke the news to us. We went by the house Sunday evening and my Mom picked up a few things that she had given to Butt (they traded stuff for almost 30 years back and forth) and we spoke w/Butt's brother and SIL, who were also there (Brother was trying to remain civil with PF. How he's managed, I'll never know.)
The family night was this evening and both myself and my mother went. Butt looked pretty good, her hair and makeup fixed. She was wearing her cream-colored wedding dress (that she wore when she married PF) and her nails had been painted a pretty mauve color. All four of the childrn were their w/their spouses and children (except for the eldest grandson, who is serving jail time.) Not as many people showed as we thought may, however there was still a decent turnout.
And people I hadn't seen in 20 years. Such as one of our neighborhood streetwalkers, who still looked pretty much the same (skinny as ever.) One of my distant cousins showed up as well and we chatted for a few minutes right before we were getting ready to leave (Mom's leg started acting up after an hour and a half and we decided to leave before it got dark and she couldn't see well.)
The funeral is tomorrow but I can't go as I have to work. Mom's going to go, come Hell or high water. Butt will be buried beside Baldy (as was her request. The children wouldn't have it any other way.) They are still clearing out her things from the house (which was bought a few months after we moved into the neighborhood. It belonged to Butt and Baldy.)
Which brings up the insurance. Baldy had paid on the policy for years and it will cover the funeral expenses, as well as pay off anything owing on the house. However, when Baldy died, the house WAS paid for.
Enter PF . . . who talked Butt into putting his name on the house, then taking out a loan on it. Which they couldn't pay back, so they had to go to court to declare bankrupty 3 years ago. Recently PF was trying to get another loan to pay off the first one, but so far hadn't been able to get one (he's not the brightest bulb on the strand and could have been on an episode of Jerry. We won't talk about his family who showed up tonight, except to say that with their manners - or lack of them - half of them were either on "Cops" or "America's Most Wanted." I'm not sure which.)
Which means the kids probably won't get the remainder of the policy, which is rightfully theirs. They've been clearing out the house though and are planning to go back tomorrow after the funeral to get the remainder of what they want out of there before PF decides to try to sell it all off.
Either way, it's a big loss for all concerned. My mom has been taking this pretty hard. She had just talked to Butt Thursday night and they were making plans to go to the Farmer's Market tomororw.
I hope the kids will be okay. The boys seemed to be handling it well. The girls I'm not too sure about. The older one (Angie) is the rock of the family, so to speak. But the younger one (April) everyone's concerned over (had a bad marriage and is still trying to get past the hurt.)
Butt was the one who was always there whenever something happened in our family. She was there when my mom had her wreck back in '82 and helped us take care of her. She was there when Grandma died in '86. The night my brother and I had to flee the house b/c Mom's then b/f was high and wielding a shotgun, we ran straight to Butt, who called the police and tried to calm us down. She was there when Mom remarried in '89. She was there when I graduated high school (her youngest, Brat Baby, graduated the following year.)
My mom was there for her when both her BIL passed away. They renovated Butt's house together (armed w/chainsaws, they took out a wall and turned the back porch into another bedroom.) My mom paid off their back mortage when her settlement came in from the car wreck, bought them new appliances for the kitchen and took Butt w/her on a weekend shopping spree.
We kept a spare fridge at Butt's (we didn't have room for it in our home at the time) and had it full of stuff, which Butt could have any of she needed. She didn't have to ask. We traded furniture back and forth. Whenver I got tired of my bedroom furniture, it went to her home for the girls to have. We had slumber parties at her house and ours and both her girls were there.
We had so much fun back then. Even in what seemed like bad times, we stuck it out together.
God bless Butt. She's with Baldy now and she's at peace. But it doesn't seem to help those who are left here:cry:
Butt was our neighbor when we were growing up . . . she lived across the street from us w/her first husband, Baldy. They had 4 kids (two boys and two girls from Baldys' first marriage) that Butt loved and raised as if they had been her own (their biological mother died when the youngest was 6 months old.)
She and my mother were best buddies . . . going everywhere and doing things together. Whenever you saw one, you saw the other. She was like a second mom to me and my brother. She had been found dead by her husband Sunday morning.
Her real name was Rose, but my brother had a speed impediment (still has it to a degree) and would take spells of running away. He'd show up on her front porch and peek through the windows, chanting "Butt . . .Butt . . ." The name stuck.
She had been battling diabetes for at least 20 years now and it caught up with her. She was also suffering from neuropathy and arthritis as well. It had gotten to the point where she had to quit working (we tried to get her to quit several years ago but she persisted b/c she needed the insurance) because she was getting to the point where she couldn't hardly move without pain.
Her first hubby, Baldy, died about 8 years ago (battled cancer. He suffered a lot, poor guy) and had remarried about 5 years ago. Nobody likes the second husband (who we shall refer to as PF) None of the kids likes him. My mom can't stand him either, as he's tried to keep her from coming over to see her (didn't work. My mom has a mind and mouth of her own.)
Her daughters came by our house Sunday right after lunchtime and broke the news to us. We went by the house Sunday evening and my Mom picked up a few things that she had given to Butt (they traded stuff for almost 30 years back and forth) and we spoke w/Butt's brother and SIL, who were also there (Brother was trying to remain civil with PF. How he's managed, I'll never know.)
The family night was this evening and both myself and my mother went. Butt looked pretty good, her hair and makeup fixed. She was wearing her cream-colored wedding dress (that she wore when she married PF) and her nails had been painted a pretty mauve color. All four of the childrn were their w/their spouses and children (except for the eldest grandson, who is serving jail time.) Not as many people showed as we thought may, however there was still a decent turnout.
And people I hadn't seen in 20 years. Such as one of our neighborhood streetwalkers, who still looked pretty much the same (skinny as ever.) One of my distant cousins showed up as well and we chatted for a few minutes right before we were getting ready to leave (Mom's leg started acting up after an hour and a half and we decided to leave before it got dark and she couldn't see well.)
The funeral is tomorrow but I can't go as I have to work. Mom's going to go, come Hell or high water. Butt will be buried beside Baldy (as was her request. The children wouldn't have it any other way.) They are still clearing out her things from the house (which was bought a few months after we moved into the neighborhood. It belonged to Butt and Baldy.)
Which brings up the insurance. Baldy had paid on the policy for years and it will cover the funeral expenses, as well as pay off anything owing on the house. However, when Baldy died, the house WAS paid for.
Enter PF . . . who talked Butt into putting his name on the house, then taking out a loan on it. Which they couldn't pay back, so they had to go to court to declare bankrupty 3 years ago. Recently PF was trying to get another loan to pay off the first one, but so far hadn't been able to get one (he's not the brightest bulb on the strand and could have been on an episode of Jerry. We won't talk about his family who showed up tonight, except to say that with their manners - or lack of them - half of them were either on "Cops" or "America's Most Wanted." I'm not sure which.)
Which means the kids probably won't get the remainder of the policy, which is rightfully theirs. They've been clearing out the house though and are planning to go back tomorrow after the funeral to get the remainder of what they want out of there before PF decides to try to sell it all off.
Either way, it's a big loss for all concerned. My mom has been taking this pretty hard. She had just talked to Butt Thursday night and they were making plans to go to the Farmer's Market tomororw.
I hope the kids will be okay. The boys seemed to be handling it well. The girls I'm not too sure about. The older one (Angie) is the rock of the family, so to speak. But the younger one (April) everyone's concerned over (had a bad marriage and is still trying to get past the hurt.)
Butt was the one who was always there whenever something happened in our family. She was there when my mom had her wreck back in '82 and helped us take care of her. She was there when Grandma died in '86. The night my brother and I had to flee the house b/c Mom's then b/f was high and wielding a shotgun, we ran straight to Butt, who called the police and tried to calm us down. She was there when Mom remarried in '89. She was there when I graduated high school (her youngest, Brat Baby, graduated the following year.)
My mom was there for her when both her BIL passed away. They renovated Butt's house together (armed w/chainsaws, they took out a wall and turned the back porch into another bedroom.) My mom paid off their back mortage when her settlement came in from the car wreck, bought them new appliances for the kitchen and took Butt w/her on a weekend shopping spree.
We kept a spare fridge at Butt's (we didn't have room for it in our home at the time) and had it full of stuff, which Butt could have any of she needed. She didn't have to ask. We traded furniture back and forth. Whenver I got tired of my bedroom furniture, it went to her home for the girls to have. We had slumber parties at her house and ours and both her girls were there.
We had so much fun back then. Even in what seemed like bad times, we stuck it out together.
God bless Butt. She's with Baldy now and she's at peace. But it doesn't seem to help those who are left here:cry: