Stress relief and how to keep a positive attitude

[blas87]

So, as everyone knows, I've been doing everything possible to keep my stress under control, as with DipShit, I gained several pounds and my face blew up with acne everywhere.

I've been practicing controlled breathing exercises. When I think I'm going to blow and I can feel my face getting hot, I sit down with good posture, think of a beach with waves rolling at my bare feet, and I inhale very slowly through my nose. Then I exhale even slower through my mouth. It's hard to do in front of everyone and it works best with my eyes closed, so most of the time I just go to the bathroom and do it for several minutes, until I calm down. As you can imagine, I do it once I get home as well.

I go tanning and that helps relax. The warm air and a quick nap feels great.

I drink lots of water and tea.

The thing is, as hard as it seems, I GO to work with a good attitude. I tell myself "No one is going to piss me off tonight" or "I will NOT get upset about it, there is nothing I can do about it, therefore, I cannot get upset over it" etc etc etc...but without fail, something a trainee does or a room runner does will get me hot and bothered within minutes.

Any other tips for stress relief/control, and how do I KEEP that good attitude that I come to work with, and HOW do I get myself to finally believe that it's NOT worth getting upset over?

I have tried telling myself "It's not worth anymore weight gain, it's NOT worth any more skin problems and it's DEFINETLY not worth your blood pressure rocketing anymore."

[Gurndigarn]

If there's some excercise that you LIKE, that's usually good. Wear yourself out to the poitn where you don't care. I want the snow to melt and the ground to dry up so I can go disc golfing again (I know there are masochists who do it in all weather, but I'm not that much of a fanatic!)

[iradney]

Something I have found, is stand up comedy on a mp3 player. Works for me almost every time.

[Kiwi]

I used to get really stressed at work. Eating junk and breaking out stress just like you.

I was talking to my BF one day and he said something that struck home with me. "I dont understand why you get so upset kiwi, nothing you do is life threatening, why do you put so much pressure on yourself"

I know it sounds really obvious, but I take such pride in my work that to me, it IS life threatening.

I have to remind myself, that when if something goes wrong, it isnt the end of the world, my world or my business. Things are fixed, people understand mistakes happen, if people get upset about it, it is THEIR problem not mine.

As soon as I accepted the fact I could still do a good job without spending my entire day worried and stressed, it freed me so much.

I remind myself of that at least 500 times a day, because people get upset over such little stuff. I say it like a mantra, "nothing I do is life threatening" inside my head when someone is bitching about something petty and unimportant.

It helps sooo much!

Ive dropped 2 kilos since adopting that saying. It might seem like a really obvious thing, but when your caught up in your work environment and there is pressure, and stress and people are sharp and snapping at each other and managers are saying GO GO GO its hard not to get caught up.

I want to do a good job, I want my manager to be happy with my work. But she still thinks that even after I stopped running around like a chicken with no head.
Good luck Blas

[Boozy]

Something I have found, is stand up comedy on a mp3 player. Works for me almost every time.

I do that, too!

If you don't have much time, I highly recommend the Onion's daily radio podcast. Its 30 seconds long. I listen to it immediately before opening the store for the day. It puts a smile on my face.

Laughter is soooo good for the soul. Aromatherapy baths and herbal teas don't work for me, I'm too edgy and impatient.

A good belly laugh followed by a brisk walk gets the tension out and gets the endorphins going.

[Seshat]

Pick the one type of thing people say or do that really sets you off. The one that makes you most upset, or most angry, or most stressed.

Then analyse it. How do you perceive it? Figure out what it is about the thought that makes it such a stressful concept for you to be faced with. Then figure out just how true that perception is - and just how helpful it is, as well.

Cognitive behavioural therapy gives you one good set of tools for this sort of analysis: a free, online course that will teach you those tools is here (http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome).

I started trying to write it myself, but it'd be a small book or an online course before I could do it justice. May as well just give you the link.

[iviles]

upbeat dance music before work, take a rag with me to the bathroom cover my mouth and scream for all Im worth (make sure no one is in the bathroom first) and when its really bad excersise or punching bag. Its great to get all the fustration out. Just dont keep it inside it makes it worse.

[Emrld]

First I offer a Hug
Personally I like hugs and then tend to help calm me.

Along with exercise, keeping away from soda, greasy foods . . .
Have you tried just soaking in a warm tub.
Check Johnson and Johnson soothing baby washes . . .can be added to the water for scent - the nightime one does help calm you.

From your posts it sounds like you have a lot going on. Have you given any thought to starting a journal? Any kind of paper to write on works . . .and you are welcome to destroy it once it has been written. Sometimes just giving the thoughts and stressor a chance to leave your brain works wonders.

Hang in there

[Shangri-laschild]

Dunno if it would help, but I have online communities that post nothing but cute and adorable animals. I can be in a crabby mood and all I have to do is go look through the archive and it doesn't take long for me to calm down. Sometimes if it's a really good picture, it only takes one.

Can you post pictures at your desk/on the computer where you'll see them. Even pictures of the beach or something that whenever you see it, you'll be happy?

[blas87]

This may sound silly and self indulgent, but what I did this morning when I got home was congratulated myself for handling work so well last night.

I came back to work and nothing had changed, new guy is still becoming a DipShit and there were times I COULD have lost it, there were times I COULD have gone nuts. Instead, I remembered "I have no control over how others behave".

I find it works better to just say something true. Although "It's alright, its ok" is true, it seems like I'm babytalking myself, so I prefer to say "It's out of my control, just calm down."

A couple of times I was able to do my breathing exercises in the area, and once I had to go to the bathroom so I could breathe as loud as I wanted and shut my eyes.

I realize I have to congratulate myself and be proud of myself when I handle things the right way and when I stop myself from freaking out.

Then I power exercised for an hour and went tanning this morning.

[Boochan]

Because I don't deal with financing/high value sales, I find myself not stressing too hard in most cases.. (i.e I've never been brought to tears by a SC), my stress has mainly been LP related i.e when I've witnessed $700 worth of stock been stolen when I was the only employee in the store.

I've found I don't fully recover from it until I have a good nights sleep. Always ensure the night after any sort of incident I have a good nights sleep, and the care seems to wear away very fast as it soothes enough that I realize its not as much of a big deal on a wide scale, but it was just a daily event I couldn't control.

[gunsage]

A lot of people will disagree with me and that's fine. I find what works for me and I do it, so there. :p I don't drink myself into a stupor, but I do drink. Further, I typically only drink red wine and hard alcohol anymore as that's a lot better than drinking beer, malt liquor, or what have you. I also play videogames. The harder a game is (as far as requires more out of me), the less likely I am to play it once I'm tipsy, which is a good policy if you have anger management issues like me. ;)

At work I was drinking coffee, but tea is typically better. I have both green tea and various herbal teas at my desk. I also drink soda, but that's not necessarily for my nerves, but rather, because I need something wet to keep my mouth from drying out on the phone (water would be better, really). Now, given my type of job (tech support), I'm able to get on the web, browsing various humor sites and trying to learn new things on sites like metacafe and videojug.

I regularly change my desktop and IM people within my department jokes, quotes from the site, etc. The key is to be focused on the job, but don't take it so seriously that it gets you down. I've managed to do all this, maintain a laidback style at work, and yet, boost departmental ratings and did VERY well on my personal goals for my review. If anything, I'm more depressed about my wife's job situation than my own. If she was a more technical person, I'd have referred her long ago. :(

This works for me, though. You ought to find things that make you happy and focus on how you can incorporate them on and off the job. Honestly, I'd be happier if I was playing games more. And that will happen, of course, once I've gotten my Security+ and start hounding HR about what I should get next (and they'll be willing to pay for). :p

[unclejampuff]

I hum the Indiana Jones theme. It has never failed to make me happy and let go of whatever was making me mad/frustrated/homicidal. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has discovered this, and will "sing" it whenever he makes me mad.

Puppies. I can't be mad when confronted with a cute canine face. I had one night when a customer reduced me to tears(I can't remember the details, otherwise I'd post it). After I'd calmed down in the back, the takeout order I handled next realized that I'd been crying. Since it was slow at that point, they brought their puppy(A LABRADOODLE NO LESS OMG DED) up to the front doors of the restaurant to say hello and cheer me up. Such a sweet couple!

I've found that having two jobs kinda helps, in a way. When something pisses me off about a job, I just think "I can quit. I have another job that could support me until I find another one." Knowing I don't have to deal with this, that it's not beyond my control, makes me calm down long enough to get it over with. By then, it's not worth quitting over.

[blas87]

Good news everyone.....I discovered that I am entitled to free counseling where I work. I got a pamphlet today. They help with anything from drug problems to just relationship problems. Stress is on their list.

I feel bad that I need to go this far, but I need help and I need it badly. So I will take advantage of this and get it.

[Shangri-laschild]

Nothing wrong with talking to someone like that about it. If you find one you click with, it really does help.

[Seshat]

This may sound silly and self indulgent, but what I did this morning when I got home was congratulated myself for handling work so well last night.

I came back to work and nothing had changed, new guy is still becoming a DipShit and there were times I COULD have lost it, there were times I COULD have gone nuts. Instead, I remembered "I have no control over how others behave".

I find it works better to just say something true. Although "It's alright, its ok" is true, it seems like I'm babytalking myself, so I prefer to say "It's out of my control, just calm down."
<snip>
I realize I have to congratulate myself and be proud of myself when I handle things the right way and when I stop myself from freaking out.

Those are examples of the sort of positive self-talk and accurate situation analysis that cognitive behavioural therapy teaches. If you find that they're working for you, go check out the moodgym link I posted earlier in this thread, or find a cognitive behavioural therapy class in your area, or book in a local library.

The moodgym is free, by the way.

Good news everyone.....I discovered that I am entitled to free counseling where I work. I got a pamphlet today. They help with anything from drug problems to just relationship problems. Stress is on their list.

I feel bad that I need to go this far, but I need help and I need it badly. So I will take advantage of this and get it.

Get the help. Noone feels bad for having to learn to read, write or do math. I personally think that stress management skills are as vital to modern society. There's no reason for every individual person to have to invent their own stress management techniques - we know a lot of them!

Think of it as just another thing to learn. You wouldn't feel upset about going to a class to learn to sew, cook French patisserie delicacies, or build cabinetry. So don't feel bad about going to a class to learn a set of thinking techniques.

And when you're talking to the diagnostic counsellor (the first one you see), tell her what techniques you've tried and developed that do work for you, and what you've tried that hasn't worked so far. That'll help her place you in a course that teaches ones that do work for you, rather than a random one and 'let's see if this helps'.

[Evil Queen]

Something I have found, is stand up comedy on a mp3 player. Works for me almost every time.
Works for me, too.

On really bad days I like to plug the ear buds in, turn the player up as loud as I can stand and soak in the tub for an hour or so. I do it pretty often these days (long story about a CW messing up and work and my having to take over half her shift and CW2 taking over the other half of her shift on top of our regular 8 hour a day shifts... I'll explain it later when I'm fed up with it) and my room mates (both male) have taken note for when the little girl comes storming into the house, they know to leave me alone for a few hours and do their business in the guest bathroom.

[PCGameGuy]

I agree with the therapy thing, if only to give you someone to talk it out with. The missus and I have a similar issue, we work together and so we tend to get the same stressors at the same time. Normally, in a relationship, you can use each other as a relief valve for stress. In our case, we get stressed at the same time by the same things, so there is no relief from discussing it. So, we talk to a therapist instead, someone we pay to sit there, shut up, and let us bitch until we feel better. :p

She has also used massage and chiropractice as a way to relax, since she tends to carry stress in her muscles. I just veg out on WoW or the latest Forgotten Realms book.

Also, don't underestimate the power of a good cry! The release of emotions and endorphins can really help you get over a thorny issue. Just remember not to add emotional baggage to it, treat it as another form of therapy. :)

Good luck!