Really Effed Up Weddings [Archive]

RecoveringKinkoid

04-05-2008, 05:33 AM

The husband and I were talking about "inappropriate stuff at weddings" (and no, not because of the current thread on here, were were discussing the blurb about the company now making demure white wedding dresses for women who where hugely pregnant that appeared on Jezebel.com. ) and we got to talking about all the stuff we'd seen.

Anways, we've seen some freakish stuff at weddings. So let's talk about crazy stuff you've seen. I'll go first.

In no particular order (these are different weddings):

1. My cousin gets married, has a kid, gets divorced, has a long-term affair with a married man for nearly 20 years, quits him when he tries to shoot her, and then marries husband number two with her grown daughter standing as her matron of honor.

In a white cathedral length gown. With a veil.

2. A ham being used as a decoration on the buffet table that we found out from the cater was two years old.

3. Both mother in laws trying to out hootchie-mama each other. If you wear satin, make sure it fits or your ass will look like two pigs fighting under a tarp. Apparently, neither woman heard my dear Aunt Marge's saying that Mother of the Bride (or groom, in this instance) should wear beige and keep her mouth shut.

This wedding also featured a horrific trumpet player and a worse soloist.

And it was also wedding number...oh, hell, I dont' even remember. My cousin's been married so many times he's got his divorce lawyer on speed dial.

4. This is the biggest freakshow I've ever witnessed. Clergy, a family minister from out of state, made sex jokes during the entire frickin' service. You know, I type this, and I look at it, and I think to myself "nobody's gonna believe this." But you know what? If I was gonna lie, I'd make up something believable. Anyways, this guy actually...as God is my witness...pulled out a bottle of asprin and tried to hand it to the bride and say something like "if you have a headache, take one of these, dont' turn your husband away" or some shit like that.

It was like being in a episode of the Office if Michael Scott were officiating at a wedding. It was the most awkward, hidiously uncomfortable debacle I've ever been witness to, and that's saying something. Pucker marks are still in the seat cushions where our asses were sitting, squirming.

The bride, who was all of 18 years old, ended up leaning forward and hissing "Can we please get on with the wedding?" to him.

I notice he was not at the reception. Probably murdered in a ditch right after the service.

That wedding was so messed up that the next time me and some friends that were also guests got together to do a little gaming, there was this awkward silence when they showed up at my place. Like we'd all seen something shameful and damning and nobody knew what to say. So I just chirped "How 'bout that WEDDING, ya'll?" and that broke the ice and everybody just started in going "DAMN that was the most fucked up thing I"ve ever seen!"

WEIRD FOOTNOTE: I actually met the Funkstain at this wedding. I hadn't started working at public TV yet. He was the photographer. He's good. I saw the bridal portrait, flagged him from across the room, pointed at the portrait, and gave him the thumbs up. That's my first Funkstain experience. Small farging world, huh?

So let's have 'em. Freaky weddings you've been at.

Kusanagi

04-05-2008, 05:51 AM

That's a relief :)

iviles

04-05-2008, 05:51 AM

:eek:I got nothing yours take the cake! WOW!:jawdrop: People shouldnt be allowed to get married after so many times lol

RecoveringKinkoid

04-05-2008, 05:56 AM

Well, you know, it IS South Carolina. :D

Der Cute

04-05-2008, 06:02 AM

Hmm.

My sister's first wedding. She got married in a small church, with a very small reception, in the basement. Roughly 20 people in all at the reception.

She gets ready to throw the bouquet to the crowd - Me, Sis's best friend, 2 or 3 other females. Sis tosses the bouquet, and we all see it coming, and take 2 steps back away from it. Hits the floor, everyone just staring at it - nobody wanted to pick it up, like it was possessed or something. Heh.

Cutenoob

k386trl

04-05-2008, 06:25 AM

I recently got a wedding invitation to... a pot luck wedding! In my invitation it said "We request that you bring a lasagna along for everyone to share." Everyone got an invitation that requested something, wine, beer, lasagna, cake.... Needless to say, I didn't make an appearance. How tacky!

iradney

04-05-2008, 09:59 AM

draftermatt

04-05-2008, 11:26 AM

When my oldest friend got married, he got drunk at the reception, spent very little time with his new bride, then when she smashed the cake in his face a little he smashed it so hard he got cake on her dress and in her hair, then he kind of ran off while she went to a full length mirror to get the cake off of her.

My wife's oldest friend got married during a huge snow storm (half the people didn't show up, assigned seating was shot to hell, my wife was in the wedding party so she drove the girls around that day since she had 4 wheel drive.

symposes

04-05-2008, 12:24 PM

Not really effed up, but still takes a certain kind of humor to appreciate.

When my dad married his current wife, a few different things were said. Things like, "Third times a charm, eh?"
hehe

When dad went to pull the thing off my now step-mom's leg. he palmed a pair of panties, and pulled back with them, saying, "Whoops too high!"

she about smacked him for that one but everyone had a laugh.

Course there were only 2 guys to pass that to. (its like the flowers for the women, but it was for the guys) Me and a Cousin. My dad was practically chasing the cousin trying to stuff the thing into cousin's pocket.

All in all not effed up, but still, youd have to know my family :)

edible_hat

04-05-2008, 12:36 PM

I went to a wedding where the ceremony was all of 10 minutes. That was fine. But then, the bride and groom expected their guests to drive 40 miles out to a reception - where they had to bring their own food! Now look, I just plunked down a crapload of money for your wedding AND engagement present, you can at least fork out for hotdogs!

I went to a wedding reception where we had to bring our own food. But the invitation said "no presents please, instead bring picnic-type food". And they were genuinely surprised that a few people (myself and fiance included) gave them presents (in our case, a bottle of wine from my uncle's vineyard. Cost me not quite all of $5, would retail for $20-$30 if it was available for sale.) It was actually not effed-up at all apart from the weather (way too hot to be outside)

Ree

04-05-2008, 01:29 PM

Closest freaky thing at my wedding was having the priest call it a funeral. :lol:
I swear.
Unfortunately, we had a friend videotaping it for us, and he was an amateur and didn't think to bring a backup battery. He had filmed so much of our guests and family coming into the church that the battery died just as we were signing the register.
(He had to run home and get a spare battery before the dinner, so we did get that part and some of the reception after.)
Ours was one of the first weddings the priest had officiated at when he was moved to our parish. In his former parish, there was a large elderly population. In the week prior to our wedding, he had been called back to assist at 3 different funerals for his former parishioners.

My friends' wedding was a little odd. Their wedding invitations had pink flamingos on them. They asked me to do a cake for them, and I jokingly asked if they wanted pink flamingos on it. They said, "If you could, that would be great!"
The lawn of the church was decorated with about 20 plastic pink flamingos, and the interior of the church had the same theme going on.
(I have a picture of the cake and I will post it if I can find it.)

daleduke17

04-05-2008, 01:56 PM

Did anyone watch any of the episodes of "My Big Redneck Wedding" when it was on CMT?

I'm cool with most of the things that were done during the different episodes, but some just crossed the line into way too weird. Some of the occurances:

- Matress surfing at the reception (actually looks like fun)
- Everyone went mudding at the reception
- Ceremony held at a demoliton derby
- Bachelorette party consisted of the ladies trap shooting
- Bachelor party consisting of the guys hunting down a wild pig for roasting at the reception

Here's a website where you can watch complete episodes:
http://www.cmt.com/shows/dyn/my-big-redneck-wedding/series.jhtml

XCashier

04-05-2008, 02:08 PM

True confessions time. We had no money and no idea how to run a wedding, so everything was done fairly cheap. Nevertheless, it came out okay except for a few snags:

The organ at the wedding was horribly out of tune.
We didn't have any food servers at the reception -- luckily, several aunts and cousins stepped in to help.
The bottom layer of the cake was frozen brick-solid.

My brother's wedding had some similar hitches:

His cake collapsed.
The DJ played "All My Exes Live In Texas", which, considering the bride had been married before, I found extremely tacky. :rolleyes:

Jester

04-05-2008, 02:15 PM

I've been to over 200 weddings (DJ and all), so I've seen a few entertaining things.

Like the groom and the best man getting into a drunken fistfight after the reception.

Then there was the time, at a cop's wedding, with tons of cops in attendance, one of the cops requested that I, the DJ, play the Body Count song "Cop Killer." He thought it would be funny, and assured me that no one would be offended. I had the song (good album, actually), but told him, and I quote, "There's no way on God's green earth I am playing THAT song at THIS wedding. See, my car's out front, and I like driving in this town." I didn't play it.

The groom and bride making me play, as a joke, their first dance song being Ugly Kid Joe's "Ten Things I Hate About You." I then played the REAL first dance song, but there were several people throughout the night giving ME dirty looks. Sadly, though, as a DJ, your first clients are the Happy Couple.

The bridal party being introduced in the same manner as a basketball team, with the funky music and everything. No, I am not kidding. They gave me a script and everything. Lucky for them, I have the voice for it! :D

The Liquor Store Run. Actually quite funny, perpetuated by me and another as part of the bridal party at my friend The Lawyer's wedding in NJ....that deserves its own story, though I am sure I've told it on this site before.

The caterer not showing up. At all. This happened at a wedding I worked in Tucson. I was running a little late (about 5 minutes, no biggie), but was pleased to see the caterer was running even later, so I figured it bought me some time. It bought me a LOT of time, actually, as the caterer, who also was supposed to be doing the flowers, NEVER SHOWED UP. So a couple of the groomsmen went to a local store and put together a few deli platters. I would NOT want to be on the receiving end of the call that the Happy Couple unquestionably placed to the caterer! :eek:

An outdoor wedding. In the early afternoon. In Phoenix. In August. Seriously.

Half the guests not showing up. That happened at a wedding I did in Mesa......the people who did show up were cool, and the Bridal Party were all a lot of fun, but for whatever reason, half the guests never showed. As in, half of the ones that RSVP'd and said they WOULD be there. It's been a while, but I think that some of the ones that had been at the ceremony didn't even bother to make the reception. Usually it's the other way around. Very strange. That was the same wedding where the Bridal Party's motif was Zoot Suits and that kind of Swing wear. Seriously. And it didn't look half bad.

The priest at my friend The Lawyer's wedding being a control freak about stuff that had nothing to do with Church doctrine. Still burned up at him over that shit....as is she.

Redneck idiot at one low rent wedding getting in my face for not immediately playing his request and saying, "Do you know who I am? I'm the cousin of the bride!" Apparently he thought that ranked higher than being the caterer's four year old son. It didn't.

I am sure today while I'm at work I'll recall some more.....200 weddings is a lot, after all. :lol:

XCashier

04-05-2008, 02:45 PM

An outdoor wedding. In the early afternoon. In Phoenix. In August. Seriously.
:eek: Were they INSANE?! We waited until November when the weather finally got decent, and even then we held it indoors. Guess they must've gotten an incredible rate.

The only way I would've considered an August wedding in the Phoenix area is if we were all wearing swimsuits and held it at Big Surf (http://tempe.golfland.com/). (Hmm, there's an idea...!)

Seshat

04-05-2008, 03:22 PM

I came >< this close to an emergency room trip for my brother's wedding. We had my parents, my brother, his best man, his groomsman and me all getting ready at my parent's house - with one bathroom - on his wedding day.

Being the least important of the people present (given the situation - groom and groomsmen are the most on-show, after all, then the bridal party's parents), I did everything possible without the bathroom, and ran through the bathroom as fast as possible when everyone else had finished. So I was just finishing up when Dad called to find out if I was ready, and didn't pay attention as I turned to yell that I was coming now.

They heard the sound of my nose hitting the bathroom cabinet, from outside the house. Dad came in honestly expecting to find blood and injury. I took my hands from my face very carefully, the pain was pretty bad too.

Miraculously, I didn't even get a bruise. I still have no idea how. But if I'd hit just a bit harder, or in a different place, I'd have probably missed my brother's wedding. And have taken one of my parents away from it too (there's no WAY they'd have let me talk them out of at least one of them coming with me to the ER).

Ree

04-05-2008, 03:33 PM

How could I have forgotten my brother's wedding, which was held on a really hot day in June, and the doors of the church were left open.
Two barn swallows flew in just as they were exchanging vows and proceeded to distract everyone from the ceremony going on.
One of them crapped down my arm, just barely touching the lace on my bridesmaid dress.
Another of the wedding guests was also bombed with flying bird poop on his good suit.
I think he and I were the only 'casualties'.
Afterwards, one of the dozy old Aunties said how lovely and romantic it was that they had released the pair of "doves" right at that moment. She felt it added so nicely to the ceremony.:confused::eek: (Have another wine, Auntie and enjoy the reception. :p)

marty

04-05-2008, 04:00 PM

Not really crazy effed up, but effed up about how they did it.

My cousin spent 10 grand on her wedding. Yes, 10 grand. After having the Most Expensive Wedding if You're Not a Celebrity (but hey, whatever, to each their own), they went to take their pictures while the rest of us went to the reception site to prepare for food. And we waited. And we waited. Now, keep in mind, half of these people are really old, and we couldn't eat until they showed up.

The wedding got out at six, they didn't show until one in the morning. I almost ate the complimentary sea-shell shaped butter on the table and I think my grandad fell asleep a few times. So, lesson learned: save consumating the wedding until AFTER the reception.

BrassCowboy

04-05-2008, 05:28 PM

This one isn't as bad as the rest, but:

When I was a sophomore in COLLEGE, I went to my cousins wedding. Well, they decided thy would seat me at the kids table with a bunch of 13 year olds, who kept giggling every time the bride and groom would kiss, or would freak out every time I took a shot of vodka.

Lucky for me (or so I thought), they at least sat me down next to a gorgeous blond girl. She had to be older that 13, right? Well, yes. But only by a little bit. Turns out she was a Freshman in HIGH SCHOOL. What is that, like 14, maybe 15 years old?

The scary part is I didn't learn about this until later in the night when I tried making my move.

EDIT: Forgot to mention: she was 14, but she could have passed for 18. That is what threw me off.

ArenaBoy

04-05-2008, 06:18 PM

A couple of stories:

When I was 12 or 13, we were at a outdoor party for a family friend. Second marriage for him. For background info, the bride is Greek. She is proud of it. She owns a house in Greece also and speaks some Greek.

When toasts were being given out, a man in his 60s or 70s got up and gave his speech. His speech went "I just wanted to let D know that I've been taking the time to learn Greek and I just want to say these words to D in Greek for her: eho tria orchidea"

All of a sudden, she burst out laughing along with most of the reception. The next day during clean up I asked her and she laughed and said that the sentence was "I have three testicles in Greek." Then told me to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding, decent movie too.

At my cousin's wedding, there was a man in his late 60s or early 70s dancing to Sexy Back. He was having the time of his life.

FuzzyKitten99

04-05-2008, 08:51 PM

My husband's cousin had a very, um, unique wedding. I told about it here once before on another thread:
http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=23338&highlight=skinny+dipping

Boozy

04-05-2008, 09:02 PM

My cousin spent 10 grand on her wedding. Yes, 10 grand. After having the Most Expensive Wedding if You're Not a Celebrity (but hey, whatever, to each their own),

...wait, what?

$10,000 does not buy much, believe me. If you want a traditional wedding, and want to invite over 50 people and feed them a meal, its virtually impossible around here to do it with less.

I know it sounds like a lot, but think about the things that go into a wedding: Catering and alcohol, flowers, church rental, hall rental, wedding dress and tuxedo rentals, invitations, music for both the ceremony and reception, etc etc etc.

My wedding cost only slightly less than that...we had only 80 guests (which was almost entirely family) and trust me, it was not an extravagant affair. I handmade my flower arrangements, guest favours, and invitations, and bought my dress on clearance. Most of my budget went into food and liquor for my guests.

monolayth

04-05-2008, 09:03 PM

My father's wedding to his current wife was full of disasters.

1. She was making the dresses for herself and her wedding party. She decided that it would be best to wait until the day before to make my bridesmaids dress. (everyone's dresses were done 2 weeks prior) I ended up looking like I literally put on a potato sack. Same color and everything. (I shredded the dress afterwards.)

2. The girls decided to wait until 30 mins before the ceremony starts to start getting ready.

3. The ceremony was in a old unused church 50 miles from where everyone was getting ready at.

4. No one thought to decorate or CLEAN the church. Cobwebs were everywhere. Lots of dust and such. (not what she wanted)

5. 4 people that were not in the wedding showed up. There were more people in the wedding that attending the wedding.

6. The reception was at a pinic area by a lake. another 50 miles to drive.

7. people were using reserved pinic area and would not move.

8. the wedding cake melted.

9. the dj forgot his sound system. (he did have the cds)

10. They were expecting a reception for 50. there were 12 people there including the wedding party.

blas

04-05-2008, 09:13 PM

At my Uncle Matt's wedding in August 2005 (Mom, brother and I flew to Seattle for it), my mother decided to start shaking her money maker like a college girl to AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" with some random local yahootie.

My brother and I buried our faces in our hands and I did start crying out of pure humiliation. My grandfather was shaking his head, my step grandma nearly had a coronary, my Uncle and his new wife thought it was hilarious, my younger uncle offered me a sip from his flask......

That was just the cherry on the cake. My mom decided that since I'd had an "attitude problem" at the Groom's dinner party the previous night, that I would be sitting in the back and not up front with the rest of the family, and she had previously made a little scene at the beginning of the wedding, before it started.

Andara Bledin

04-05-2008, 10:46 PM

I've only ever been to two weddings, myself. One as a bridesmaid and one as the bride, and both of them went off quite nicely with very little problem.

then marries husband number two with her grown daughter standing as her matron of honor.

In a white cathedral length gown. With a veil.

The whole white dress, lots of lace, complicated design, and all that is about a show of money, and has nothing to do with chastity. The whole "white is for virgins" thing is a modern conception. Originally, it was all about showing off how much money you could waste on a dress that was pretty much guaranteed to only ever be worn once.

And white is bad luck in a lot of places. For instance, in China, white is the color for death.

^-.-^

Evil Queen

04-05-2008, 10:52 PM

And white is bad luck in a lot of places. For instance, in China, white is the color for death.

^-.-^Isn't it like that for Korea too?

Personally, if I ever wind up getting married (highly unlikely, but "if" is a nice word) then I would wear my favourite red smexy dress and my mother says I have to walk down the isle to Rolling Stones "Sympathy For The Devil"

Have I mentioned I really like my mom? :D

BookstoreEscapee

04-05-2008, 11:15 PM

Nothing really crazy ever happened at any weddings I went to...

My cousin and a few of his groomsmen did human surfboards during the reception, in their tuxes...

Another cousin's flower girl, who was only about 2 and a half, wanted her mommy to pick her up when she got to the end of the aisle. Problem was, Mommy was the matron of honor (Daddy was strategically placed at the end of the second row, since they pretty much knew she wouldn't last through the whole ceremony; she sat with him for the rest of the service).

My friend wore a top hat at his wedding reception (not for the ceremony, though), and I have pictures of him swing dancing with his best man.

I have a friend who had over 300 people at her wedding (she invited over 400); they had to have spent at least 50 grand, probably more. Her father-in-law knows Bruce Springsteen somehow, and he was invited but didn't come. Nothing crazy happened at that one, but I had to stand on a chair to see the bridal party (all 26 of 'em - 11 bridesmaids, 11 groomsmen, and 2 flower girls and ring bearers) come into the reception. Only thing that happened was that the younger flower girl, about 4, didn't come in with the bridal party. A bit later I went out and she was on a small couch in the hall, sound asleep in her dad's lap. :)

edible_hat

04-05-2008, 11:28 PM

...wait, what?

$10,000 does not buy much, believe me. If you want a traditional wedding, and want to invite over 50 people and feed them a meal, its virtually impossible around here to do it with less.

I know it sounds like a lot, but think about the things that go into a wedding: Catering and alcohol, flowers, church rental, hall rental, wedding dress and tuxedo rentals, invitations, music for both the ceremony and reception, etc etc etc.

My wedding cost only slightly less than that...we had only 80 guests (which was almost entirely family) and trust me, it was not an extravagant affair. I handmade my flower arrangements, guest favours, and invitations, and bought my dress on clearance. Most of my budget went into food and liquor for my guests.

My wedding's costing just over $8,000 for the reception (70 guests). The only really "extravagant" thing we're getting is the premium drinks package (an extra $20 a head) because my dad didn't like the beer in the standard drinks package. We're trying to cut costs everywhere else but will probably be around $12,000 all together.

Last Jewish Cowboy

04-05-2008, 11:56 PM

My brother's wedding was on Maui. The cost was 80k and the families did not get along one bit. The bride was from the idle rich and her mother was a nightmare. Nothing was good enough for her and everything was top of the line. She ignored me and I was the Reverend. It was a fine vacation after the wedding though.
Six months later they separated. I give my brother grief, jokingly of course, that his wedding is the only one I performed that didn’t stick.

Kiwi

04-06-2008, 12:42 AM

Not really crazy effed up, but effed up about how they did it.

My cousin spent 10 grand on her wedding. Yes, 10 grand. After having the Most Expensive Wedding if You're Not a Celebrity

thats a cheap wedding

my godsister's wedding was 75 grand all up

100 guests

thats not the most expensive wedding ive been to either, one was 125 grand, 400 guests MASSIVE Samoan family, no alcohol was served either.

A suckling pig between evert 4 guests, I left the party early at 4am the next morning... didnt eat the next day

Andara Bledin

04-06-2008, 12:56 AM

Personally, if I ever wind up getting married (highly unlikely, but "if" is a nice word) then I would wear my favourite red smexy dress and my mother says I have to walk down the isle to Rolling Stones "Sympathy For The Devil"

I wore a vintage burgundy velvet 50's era dress to my wedding. My hair was done up by my mother. I looked like Rachael from Blade Runner and unlike Sean Young, I could do it without a wig, even though I don't have bangs. Everybody knew exactly what I was doing.

We walked down the aisle to Love Changes Everything from Aspects of Love by Andrew Lloyd Webber. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. There's a spot about 2/3 of the way through the song where the singer begins a new verse very passionately, and it was on that note that I would begin my walk. We did one rehearsal of that, and we couldn't have planned it better. Our first dance was to Nothing Else Matters by Metallica.

The ceremony was on Halloween (actually, we held it 2 days early so it would be on Saturday) and we encouraged our guests to dress up. We had harlequin masks for those that didn't. My mother came dressed as if she were in mourning; full black with a huge hat with a veil. My youngest aunt (her twin) came dressed as a jester.

.....

I do know of a couple of weddings that weren't attended by anyone I knew that should have, however.

I had a close friend that got married. They were both part of the same religion and anyone that was not part of the religion wasn't invited because they wouldn't be allowed to enter the building in which it was being held.

My brother's best friend married one of those psycho abusive partners (not physical, just mental) and she and her mother controlled who was invited to the wedding, and if you weren't at the wedding you were not allowed to come to the reception. I think about 10% of the guest list were people he knew, and that includes his family. That marriage lasted less than 2 years, and he was all, "Yeah, you told me so" to my brother when he got out.

^-.-^

blas

04-06-2008, 12:58 AM

I wonder if anyone has ever attended a nudist wedding?

:popcorn:

Evil Queen

04-06-2008, 01:11 AM

I wore a vintage burgundy velvet 50's era dress to my wedding. My hair was done up by my mother. I looked like Rachael from Blade Runner and unlike Sean Young, I could do it without a wig, even though I don't have bangs. Everybody knew exactly what I was doing. Wow, you had, like, the best wedding ever! <3

Listerfiend

04-06-2008, 06:02 AM

My parents and I went to my cousin's wedding, in Forty Wayne, IN. It was supposed to be at a park, and of course it was raining ('cos that's what it does whenever there's an outdoor wedding). It took hella forever to find the place, and then even longer to find the wedding site since there were no signs or anything. We finally came across someone who worked there and he told us where the wedding site was, etc. Well, it was empty. And there was no one there from the wedding to tell us where to go or anything. So we figured, "hey, might as well go to the reception place and at least be early for that" SO we get to the reception area, and the only name of it on the invitation is "The Dome." And we assume it's going to be some Dome-esque hall or party center. Nope. It's an indoor driving range/sports arena, and the area the reception (and wedding) was in was basically a football field--astroturf and everything. There was no sound system on the field (where the ceremony was taking place), so you couldn't hear anything. No music, no nothing. And then the reception started, and oh my god--it was just *so* deliciously white trash. We saw the tables set up and figured that the reception was probably going to be okay. 'Cos there were white cloth table coverings, cute wedding favors, and cloth napkins. So we had at least the average expectation of wedding fare. But for the meal there were little sandwiches made out of rolls with assorted lunch meats in them with American cheese. And for those there was a BOWL of mayonaise, a BOWL of ketchup, and a BOWL of mustard (no greens). In addition to that there were potato chips, pretzels, and a couple veggie trays. I kid you not. There were people who'd traveled from NEW YORK to go to that damn wedding. Like, if you're having a wedding, wouldn't you just assume that you'd go all out and make it uber-nice and especially try to make people feel welcome, ESPECIALLY if they'd driven from as far away as New York? Oh--and did I mention that during the "meal" the DJ was playing music? And yeah--it's common that the DJ plays music during the meal, BUT he had it NOT playing softly in the background, but as loud as if it was to be played during the dancing. Sooo RUDE. And he was SUCH a terrible DJ, too. He kept playing the wrong songs/CDs and didn't even find the right song for the bride-father dance. Ugh... it was awful. The only consolation is that it was on the way to Chicago, where we were visiting my brother.

AnqeiicDemise

04-06-2008, 06:29 AM

...

The ceremony was on Halloween (actually, we held it 2 days early so it would be on Saturday) and we encouraged our guests to dress up. We had harlequin masks for those that didn't. My mother came dressed as if she were in mourning; full black with a huge hat with a veil. My youngest aunt (her twin) came dressed as a jester.

...

Okay, hon, you and I need to sit our buts together because I *have* to start planning for my own ceremony and it falls on Halloween of 2009. I need all the ideas I can get to have a fun, relaxed, costume reception.

.. .maybe I should start a thread for suggestions...

RecoveringKinkoid

04-06-2008, 04:17 PM

The whole white dress, lots of lace, complicated design, and all that is about a show of money, and has nothing to do with chastity. The whole "white is for virgins" thing is a modern conception. Originally, it was all about showing off how much money you could waste on a dress that was pretty much guaranteed to only ever be worn once.

And white is bad luck in a lot of places. For instance, in China, white is the color for death.

^-.-^

Hey, I'm not saying a bride can't wear exactly what she wants on her wedding day, especially if she's the one footing the bill for the party. She looked stunning. I'm not saying what she did was wrong in any way. I'm just saying that the move was sure fire way to end up being the subject of quite a bit of jokes, snide comments, and family gossip for years to come. Which it did.

There's a big difference between how things should be and how they are. ;)

You got that much mileage on you, then wearing a dress that most people associate with blushing demure virgin is maybe not the wisest move if you don't want your people to be talking smack later.

Same thing with the article I mentioned about having a huge baby bump and wearing white when you walk down the aisle. Sure, you can do it. Nobody honestly thinks anyone really a "virgin" anymore. However, if you're wearing white and hugely preggers, all it takes for you to become the perfect joke at your wedding is for your intended to be missing a few teeth. Google "redneck wedding" and check out the very first pic that pops up if you question this observation. :lol:

Argabarga

04-06-2008, 07:22 PM

If by some miracle I do ever get married, I think it'll be to someone who's idea of a perfect wedding is going down to the District Justice's office and signing the paperwork.

Jester

04-06-2008, 07:53 PM

The only way I would've considered an August wedding in the Phoenix area is if we were all wearing swimsuits and held it at Big Surf (http://tempe.golfland.com/).

It was fully formal. I myself HAD to be in a tux. (I, at least, was getting paid to suffer through this abomination.) The lining on that particular cloud of a day was that the timing was such that I actually performed at TWO weddings that day, and made uber bucks. :D

The wedding got out at six, they didn't show until one in the morning.

Forget people being old. Forget people being impatient. Forget people being hungry.

Making people wait for you for seven freakin' hours is just fucking rude. Nothing less.

9. the dj forgot his sound system. (he did have the cds)

Okay, having been a wedding dj, I can understand forgetting this piece of equipment or that, or misplacing a key song, or cueing up the wrong song, or a hundred other things.....

BUT HOW IN ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IN THE LAND OF MUSIC DO YOU FORGET AN ENTIRE BLEEDING SOUND SYSTEM?

When I dj'd, my system was probably typical: one amp, one mixer, two speakers, two speaker stands, two CD players, a box of CD's, speaker cords, power cords, a power strip or two, a couple rolls of duct tape, a microphone, and sometimes even lights. HOW THE HELL DO YOU FORGET ALL THAT? Did he wake up and drive someone else's car to the reception?

From all DJ's everywhere to this guy: DIE! You make us as a group look like idiots!

My youngest aunt (her twin) came dressed as a jester.

Naturally, I approve. http://www.spokanestreetracing.com/forums/images/smiles/hat16.gif

I wonder if anyone has ever attended a nudist wedding?

Attended? No. But I know of at least one couple that had one.

I myself once DJ'd a nudist colony's Halloween party.

Back to weddings....

At my cousin KB's wedding, my older sister, who I refer to in this site as The Witch, actually had the nerve to wear a fire-engine red dress. Okay, fine, that's bad enough, but it was cut very low, and The Witch is not exactly lacking in the bosom department. I was offended for my cousin, and convinced my mother to convince The Witch that it would probably be better if she did, in fact, wear the matching shawl/cover/whatever the hell it was.

One rule about weddings is that, if you are a woman, you should not be wearing anything that will take the attention away from the bride and put it on to you.

Years later, KB's wife did not attend The Witch's wedding.

As for cost of weddings, anyone who thinks that 10 grand is a lot for a wedding...it isn't. My little sister got married on a shoe string budget of $2,500....and $500 of that was a wedding gift from me so she could afford to invite everyone she wanted to. (It was still a small wedding.)

Myself, when I was planning the wedding between me and The Brit (that, of course, never happened), although we were planning something small, for a max of about 40 people, it was still going to cost us probably around $4,000.

As a DJ, I have been to some pretty extravagant affairs with lots of guests that easily ran tens of thousands of dollars. Ten G? Probably below average, I am guessing.

Bella_Vixen

04-07-2008, 01:11 AM

I myself once DJ'd a nudist colony's Halloween party.

I'll bite. How does a nudist colony have a Halloween party?

Andara Bledin

04-07-2008, 01:15 AM

As for cost of weddings, anyone who thinks that 10 grand is a lot for a wedding...it isn't. My little sister got married on a shoe string budget of $2,500....and $500 of that was a wedding gift from me so she could afford to invite everyone she wanted to. (It was still a small wedding.)

My wedding cost a grand total of $800. Held in a park. Officiated by a friend. Catered by co-workers of the groom at a discount. DJ'd by a friend with equipment owned by us using music owned by us. Coordinated by a friend. Reception at the same park. Dress bought at a second-hand shop and altered by my mother. Hair done by my mother. His clothes were his brand new faire costume.

In contrast, the thank you dinner we hosted where we treated the two friends who officiated and organized cost $700 for the 4 meals we paid for. Our finances were better by that point.

.. .maybe I should start a thread for suggestions...

Go for it. I'm sure lots of people have some interesting suggestions to toss out.

^-.-^

Evil Queen

04-07-2008, 01:28 AM

the only name of it on the invitation is "The Dome." And we assume it's going to be some Dome-esque hall or party center. Nope. It's an indoor driving range/sports arena, and the area the reception (and wedding) was in was basically a football field--astroturf and everything.Listerfiend, I'm guessing she had a Wedding Bowl. :p (Super Bowl)

.. .maybe I should start a thread for suggestions...

Please do! This site has thousands of posters, I'm sure you're bound to get a few good ideas. :)

MadMike

04-07-2008, 06:38 AM

Closest freaky thing at my wedding was having the priest call it a funeral. :lol:

Wait... you mean weddings and funerals aren't the same thing??? :p

You want to talk about freaky? A couple of my best friends who were dating had a Halloween wedding, with everyone in costumes, and a sacrificial altar where the ceremony took place. Finding a minister who would have been willing to perform such a ceremony would have been damn near impossible, so one of our other friends took an internet course to become a minister, and married them himself, dressed as a bright red demon, with wings and everything. He was so nervous, and every so often, he'd pause the ceremony and ask them, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I keep saying I'd never want to get married again if I became single, but if I did, it would be fun to do something like that.

Rapscallion

04-07-2008, 10:05 AM

Mmm - I posted a while ago about the wedding of doom and terror. However, I've also had an engagement party that is pure tradition in the north of England.

You rent out a large chunk of a local hostelry. Both families attend. Both decide which side of the room they are going to sit on. They sit there, arms folded, talking amongst themselves on occasion and doing their best to avoid paying for the next round of drinks.

The bride and groom to be (who eventually weren't), a few chums, and myself were between this. We had our own party in the middle of the room. I was the only one who was sober enough to hold still to get a condom pulled over his head. We even had our brick confiscated.

Oh, huffing helium and reciting Shakespeare is hilarious.

Rapscallion

draftermatt

04-07-2008, 12:06 PM

My wife's cousin got married last year, the wedding was nice, but there had been a car accident and it took forever to get to the reception. Then when we got to the reception it was being held in a barn (it was very very hot that day) but it wasn't terrible.

My wedding, the DJ was late because his boss never told him we had moved the start time up a half hour, and that we added songs, etc. at least two weeks prior (it was more like a month).

Oh and like everyone else said $10K not a lot for a wedding. Ours was $4500, but we actually looked at a very pretty place, where they told us it was $25,000 and 150 guest minimum.

edible_hat

04-07-2008, 12:23 PM

I'll bite. How does a nudist colony have a Halloween party?

Very carefully.

Jester

04-07-2008, 12:48 PM

I'll bite. How does a nudist colony have a Halloween party?

Just because it is a nudist colony does not mean they can't wear costumes. Some of them were definitely "less" than the typical costume....like the guy who wore a fig leaf and went as Adam. And I mean ONLY a fig leaf. Several people wore costumes that would not exactly have flown most places. You get the idea.

My wedding cost a grand total of $800. Held in a park. Officiated by a friend. Catered by co-workers of the groom at a discount. DJ'd by a friend with equipment owned by us using music owned by us. Coordinated by a friend. Reception at the same park. Dress bought at a second-hand shop and altered by my mother. Hair done by my mother. His clothes were his brand new faire costume.

And you know as well as the rest of us that most people couldn't (or wouldn't) be able to pull that off. This is the exception, not the rule. Not everyone has friends who are ordained ministers or DJ's or hairdressers or caterers. Etc., etc., etc. You get the point.

My little sister's $2500 wedding was actually pretty damn cool, all things considered, and pretty simple....which is what she wanted.

I'm not saying it's impossible to have a wedding with a small budget. Just saying it isn't always easy or what the Happy Couple wants for their wedding.

RecoveringKinkoid

04-07-2008, 02:30 PM

I would think costume parties at nudist resorts would be very easy to do. I mean, hey. "I'm Darth Vader...naked!" or "I'm King Henry the 8th...naked!"

Very little sewing involved.

Andara Bledin

04-08-2008, 02:28 AM

You want to talk about freaky? A couple of my best friends who were dating had a Halloween wedding, with everyone in costumes, and a sacrificial altar where the ceremony took place.

My ex and I actually got handfasted at a graveyard on Halloween several years before we actually got married.

Oh, and I notice that the bride in the pics you put up was dressed in the black dress Darkness gave to Lily in Legend.

^-.-^

MadMike

04-08-2008, 03:07 AM

Oh, and I notice that the bride in the pics you put up was dressed in the black dress Darkness gave to Lily in Legend.

I never know what the hell she's supposed to be. Glad someone knows. :p

worddork

04-08-2008, 03:54 AM

My mom told me this one.
At my Aunt's frist wedding, their 2 year-old cousin was annoying everyone at the reception, so my mom's roommate gave him enough champagne to get him drunk to the point of passing out. Everyone else just thought he had fallen asleep. Mind you this was back in 1978, this was what you did to kids in the roommate's family.

Jester

04-08-2008, 04:09 AM

I would think costume parties at nudist resorts would be very easy to do. I mean, hey. "I'm Darth Vader...naked!" or "I'm King Henry the 8th...naked!"

Very little sewing involved.

I'm disappointed in you, Kink. You are one of the people I thought wouldn't pigeonhole so easily. :lol:

Seriously, just about everyone there WAS in costume, of some sort....some more risque than others. NO one showed up just naked, and not one guy showed up naked on a pair of roller skates calling himself a "pull toy." They were actual, genuine costumes....though as I said previously, sometimes a bit more....less. :lol:

Amusing side note: I was in the DJ company office to pick up my assignment several weeks beforehand, and my boss was saying, "Man, I have to turn down this show." I asked why. He told me about the nudist Halloween party, and that he didn't have a DJ who would do such a show. "Um, yes Boss....you do." He was stunned. "You would do that?" My answer was simple and honest: "Sure. Why not?"

Easy money.

Ended up drinking beer with a few of them in the hot tub afterwards. :lol:

iviles

04-08-2008, 04:49 AM

Ended up drinking beer with a few of them in the hot tub afterwards. :lol:

:eek::lol:Theres always a reason why I look for your posts Jester and here it is!!!!!

myswtghst

04-08-2008, 04:50 AM

Ok, I'll have to bite on this one. The most interesting wedding I've been to was for my ex's sister.

During the ceremony, as my ex was a groomsmen, I got to sit up front on the "family" bench with one of the ringbearers (his nephew) in my lap. Little guy proceeded to trace circles and generally tickle my knees for most of the ceremony, so I had to sit there and try my best not to laugh or twitch, so I didn't interrupt the ceremony. :o

After the ceremony, we spent a good twenty minutes in the parking lot with the ex's favorite aunt, as we listened to AC/DC, loudly, on her car stereo, and sang and rocked out along with it in the parking lot. :super:

Got to the reception, and everyone got nice and drunk. I got stuck at a table with a number of the bride's old camp chums, who were only a few years older than me, but couldn't seem to deal with the fact that I was the groomsman's girlfriend, and continually hit on me. A lot.

Escaped from the table, at which point Ex's stepbrother, who is at the wedding with his pregnant gf, proceeds to get drunk and hit on me, in front of the aforementioned pregnant gf.

Then, ex's father proceeds to get drunk and start close-talking, followed by actually offering me the olives out of his martini - as in, he actually pulled out the toothpick and tried to feed them to me, while I stood there, completely uncertain of what to do. So I ate them. And high-tailed it over to ask ex to save me! :help:

I was only about 18 at the time, but since I'd been dating ex for a good 8 months at the time and the whole family loved me, they gave me a few drinks for good measure - ex was driving. So I had some drinks. Then decided, on the drive home, to take off my pantyhose in the front seat of the car. And I attempted this without taking off my shoes. It didn't work out so well, in the end. :o

I am still friends with ex, and we are now neighbors. Needless to say, at parties, one or both of us usually brings out stories from that wedding to share, as entertainment. :lol:

AnqeiicDemise

04-08-2008, 07:40 PM

My sister's wedding:

my brother,dad, mother & two others were stark-raving-drunk which threw all of us for a loop because, to avoid drunken scenes, the only alcohol served at the reception was the wine for the cheers.

My sister's mortified when my dad proceeds to take off his shirt and do the 'Cantinflas' dance in his wife beater and pulled down pants. (google it, you guys, its hilarious. I'll post the link as soon as I get home). Mom proceeds to cry, bawl, make silly faces of angry mortification (not realizing its that more mortifying since she's drunk too) at this. I mean, she's standing there at the edge of the dance floor, stomping her foot, waving my dad over, trying to 'stage whisper' for him to stop being stupid... but she's really yelling. People are in stitches.

My brother's walking around with his tie around his head, drinking whiskey, pinching butts -- and I mean just random butts.. man or woman while muttering "who's wife now?" in an attempt to but into conversations.

I decide to play detective to see how/where they got this booze from as my folks & brother just REEK of tequila and whiskey. As my brother slips out with one of his friends, I follow him.

That alcoholic brother of mine had a mini bar set up in the trunk of his car. >.<

Andara Bledin

04-08-2008, 08:09 PM

I never know what the hell she's supposed to be. Glad someone knows. :p

Well, next time you see her, you can let her know that some semi-random person on a forum you visit recognized her dress immediately.

I love that movie, and that dress is actually kind of neat, but designed for a flat-chested young Mia Sara. Here's a good shot of her in it (http://www.ferdalump.com/legend.html), plus someone else's take on making it.

^-.-^

Zombi

04-20-2008, 06:36 PM

tropicsgoddess

04-20-2008, 07:49 PM

Same thing with the article I mentioned about having a huge baby bump and wearing white when you walk down the aisle. Sure, you can do it. Nobody honestly thinks anyone really a "virgin" anymore. However, if you're wearing white and hugely preggers, all it takes for you to become the perfect joke at your wedding is for your intended to be missing a few teeth. Google "redneck wedding" and check out the very first pic that pops up if you question this observation. :lol:

Ask and you shall receive a redneck wedding. :lol:

http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Funny/redneck-wedding.jpg

http://www.thatwasfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/redneckweddingreception.jpg

http://neatorama.cachefly.net/images/2006-06/redneck-wedding.jpg

http://www.misscellania.com/storage/shotgunwedding.jpg

http://www.aperfectanomaly.com/wp-content/camocouple.jpg

I googled ghetto weddings for the heck of it and I got these gems. :lol:

http://www.geocities.com/ghettoweddings/image004.jpg

http://www.sarahfortune.com/photos/2007/08/polaroids/46.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/ghettoweddings/image001.jpg

http://bp0.blogger.com/_XuRuKWw4-fA/Rqf8zN4bxRI/AAAAAAAAARY/NBepeJ6CRWI/s320/ghetto+wedding+dress.jpg

http://www.thinkingmonkeythinking.com/films/images/wedding-rochelle.jpg

crazylegs

04-20-2008, 07:55 PM

Hate to break it to you tropics but the first image is a composite of at least three (trailer, B+G, Dog), the light is coming at different intensities and angles.

Sylvia727

04-20-2008, 11:10 PM

Horror Story Wedding:
I was just a mewling infant at the time, but this one is still good for a few hours of bitchfest when it gets brought up at family parties.

My uncle and his fiancee wanted to plan the wedding themselves...and then didn't. They held the wedding in her home state, even though she was moving with him back to our family's home state, so my family didn't fly in until the night before. There were already some conflicts between the two families - my mom wasn't invited to be a bridesmaid at her brother's wedding, but the bride's cousin was an usher. Petty things that every one was trying to smooth over for the Happy Couple, but not really succeeding. I think there were about 200 guests, mostly family and close friends, so the conflicts could spread out nicely.

Anyway, the day of, my grandma got up at dawn so she could enjoy a quiet cup of coffee. The bride comes downstairs, and my gramma offers any help that she might need. Y'know, the little things that everyone forgets...like picking up the bridesmaids' dresses. Yeah...the wedding's at 10 am, and the shop doesn't open until 8 am. Or picking up the flowers - which no reservations have been made for, because "you can just go in and pick up something nice".

So my grandma ran around like a chicken with her head chopped off all morning. My immediate family had been put up in a hotel (another source of conflict) so my mom wasn't there to offer her help either. Oh, and the bride didn't have her undergarments picked out, and apparently Laundry Day was very soon, because everything was dirty but the granny panties. So my grandma washed her future daughter in law's dirty bra and panties in the kitchen sink.

Then they casually mention that they haven't planned the reception, and would my grandma be so kind as to "just lay everything out"? Only they don't know where they're going to hold a reception for 200 people. Gramma missed the entire wedding. She spent it in a nearby park covering picnic tables with cheap vinyl tableclothes, setting out the flowers, laying out the food, which was mostly beer coolers and potluck from the bride's family, and driving to the deli to get more food because there wasn't nearly enough. Did I mention it was windy? She spent half the time chasing tableclothes and napkins around the park.

Just before the wedding started, my mom asked where Gramma was, and nearly exploded when she heard the answer. Unfortunately, she was the only person with a conscience who wasn't in the wedding party, so after a few minutes of fruitless arguing, she drove to the park by herself to help. And was later told by the MotB that it was a good thing she hadn't been invited to be a bridesmaid, since she missed the entire wedding.

I'm sure I'm forgetting at least half of it, but y'all get the picture.

Romance Story Wedding:
I think this one's sweet, but this side of the family is, ah, rather Puritan in values, so the bride gets held up as a harlot.

One of my many various relatives, Janette, decided that the clock was ticking, she wasn't getting any younger, she'd soon be too old, etc., etc., and that if true love wanted to find her, he'd just have to find her as a single mother because she wasn't going to wait any longer.

So she went shopping at bars for baby daddies. Eventually, she found one she liked. They spent a few hours talking about everything under the sun, and my cousin arrived at the conclusion that he was intelligent, good-looking, healthy, and genetically satisfactory. And then she asked him if he wanted to make a baby with her. He agreed and they tried for a few months until she caught. Then he decided that he wanted to be a part of the baby's life, so they spent a lot of time together....

Five years later, their daughter was the flower girl at their wedding. :) And they're still together, a few decades later.