I've had a weekend and need a hug.

[Lil Bunny]

I can't remember if I told you all that my dad went in for surgery. Well, he did. It was for an acoustic neuroma and was supposed to take place early March. It didn't due to the fact that a crap hospital here in Nebraska found a suspicious thing on his heart. Oh the test had a 33% failure rate. Yeah, he had to shell out for a heart cath.

ANYHOW, he went in for surgery finally 4/2. Turns out it wasn't the nerve tumor but an actual brain tumor pressing on the nerves in his ear. Well they had to go through the facial nerve to get it out. Yes they reconnected it but he basically has bells palsy again. At least we knew what to expect eh? On top of this, the surprise us with an eyelid surgery. He's now got a gold lid to help keep his eye shut.

Ok so finally get him home and settled and my best friend and I come out this past weekend to help him out. *Sigh* I love my dad.

Before I start in, I want to say that my parents are/were my world. Mom's death about killed me and seeing my dad moving slow/having problems kills me. I want to be there to help him out any way I can because he is the one that gave me life. I'm probably closer to my family than normal and I apologize for that. They have always come before anything else in this life and nothing will change that (aside from DF...he gets married in eh?).

That said, I have had the growing urge to kill him over the past year. The house has steadily gone into a dusty crowded mess. He isn't diminished in mental capacity, he just doesn't do it. He DOES know how to do it, he just does the basics to get around it. After this weekend I've seriously about had enough.

His bathroom was disgusting. We're talking dust/cat hair so thick I had to scrub to get it us. His shower...well I'm not sure how anyone got clean. He KNOWS better. We got both upstairs bathrooms scrubbed head to floor and took 5 bags of trash out. Downstairs we got the floors scrubbed and the kitchen/breakfast nook/living room dusted and organized. Did I mention I found the kitchen table? *growls*

Seriously, he knows better! If he thinks he can just leave it for me to come out and do he's got another thing coming. I do not mind helping him out with the "going through" stuff and tossing/recycling mom's stuff but I CANNOT DO IT ALL ALONE. He needs to keep up on the basic stuff such as dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, et al.

We finally gave him projects to get done before we come out next month. He will get the paper work gone through and his computer and office desk started on or I WILL not clean. There are no ifs ands or buts about this. We are also going to empty out the basement whether he likes it or not. I'm sick and tired of everything being everywhere down there. Seriously, Christmas stuff is in 5 different areas.

Ok vent done. I love dad, I really do. I just hate this getting old stuff. That reminds me, if anyone would like to come out and play "Clean Sweep" with me, you're more than welcome to him!

Thanks for letting me vent. I think I'd be less pissed but we also had to put Norman down. He'd lost so much weight that you could literally grab his spinal cord bones. It was so sad. I'm glad he's in a better place but he was such a great cat, I'm going to miss him big time. :(

Now, back to happy Bunny, I swear.

[Bella_Vixen]

::hugs::





::more hugs::

[marasbaras]

Hard as this is ... you'll get through it.

[Becks]

: oodles of hugs :

[Evil Queen]

No need to aplogize for being close and loving your family so much. I wish I had as good a relationship with my family but that's not the point.

You need hugs and I'm a little hug whore.

:hug:

*hugs and snuggles lots*

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm probably closer to my family than normal and I apologize for that.


Why would you apologize for that? :headscratch:

How long ago did your mom die? Could the mess/lack of cleaning in the house be due to depression or other issues? Could he be having a harder time than he wants to let on to you? It might be worth mentioning to his doctor. Would it be possible to hire someone to come clean up? Even a couple times a month might be a big help.


Oh, and here ya' go: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Take one per day - that oughta get you through till Friday. :)

[Lil Bunny]

Ty you all, it really helps alot!! I do know I am blessed with a really close family, there are just times that try that bond.

Mom died back in March of 2007 and that was literally the last time people came through and did a clean up job there. They didn't get everything like the upstairs bedrooms and his bathrooms. He did hire someone for a bit but he won't answer me as to why they aren't helping anymore. I'm going to call them tomorrow and find out why. Honestly even once a month going over the general stuff would help us with the clean out process. Dad must thing we're super hero's but man, we're not that good. My hips and shoulders are killing me at the moment. If things had basics maintenance I wouldn't complain.

As for the meds, he is still on Zoloft since mom died. I am thinking I should call his friend/doctor and maybe mention something to him. I know he cannot discuss things with me but at least the idea would be brought up. I do know the overwhelmed feeling with housekeeping. I went through depression and my old apartment went to hell. I just didn't know how to get back to normal and wouldn't ask for help. It took an eviction to make me realize how important it is (and you should see my place now!).

Seriously though, thank you guys. It's been a rough weekend.

[Der Cute]

What about getting him out - active?

It sounds like your posts are talking about a man who's got a bit of a brain tumor, along with feeling lonely and depressed. Can he get out and do stuff? Book club, hobbies? Anything?

What about getting a caretaker, visitor once twice a week? Besides you?

I don't know how old he is, or what capacity he has..just thinking out loud.

And hey, dirt happens. Get him to pitch in, do it together.

Cutenoob

[Mr. Rager!]

That sucks, I'm sorry to hear all that.

It's hard getting some people motivated enough to just take care of themselves and their living situation. I hope you're able to spark something for not only his sake, but for your own.

[Lil Bunny]

He turns 63 in August but you wouldn't know it normally. He has the energy and drive of someone in their 40s.

Up until his surgery he worked part time as a bus driver, census taker and was looking forward to starting back in the fields as a farmer. Keeping my fingers crossed, he should be able to get in the fields next week. LOL at least he doesn't have to worry about damaging his hearing on that one side anymore. ;) Of course that means more stuff will pile up as farming means no time for anything else but.

I think I am going to talk to some of the ladies from back home that have offered to help him clean. He really doesn't want to hire anyone and I know it's a pride thing. Heck, just once a week would be a blessing. Just someone to dust a bit, maybe wipe up the floors and vacuum? That wouldn't be a lot of money would it?

*sigh* I hate to sound so whiny, it just feels like one thing after another. On a happy note, Norman is now buried in his favorite blankie out by Nissa and Muffin. We'll be giving him his own plant later on this spring. Now...anyone see where I left my 800mg of ibuprofen?