The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store...

[Lace Neil Singer]

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now
that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost life like!

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas)

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder..
Inside card) - What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding!
(inside card) I can't believe you had the nerve to wear white!

[Bella_Vixen]

My all time favorite:

Do you love me the same way that I love you?

You do?

(inside)

Pervert.

:devil: :hug: :eyewaggle:

[Misanthropical]

Thanks a lot, Bella_Vixen! Ice tea up the nose HURTS! :eek: ;)

[sportsmom]

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost life like!

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

15. Congratulations on your wedding!
(inside card) I can't believe you had the nerve to wear white!

I would actually buy these for some of my friends, but I guess we're weird that way.


The best card I have ever seen had a picture of two women walking down the beach wearing bikini tops, with flip flops sticking out of their rear ends. One woman looks at the other and says "See, I told you they would all notice our thongs." The inside just had something along the lines of "Have a good day." I love that card, I gave it to a friend when she was having a bad day and she just cracked up over it.

[Dips]

My favorite is

Since you've been gone...

[Inside] There's so much room in the bed.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

15. Congratulations on your wedding!
(inside card) I can't believe you had the nerve to wear white!

Where was this one when my cousin got married???

[MadMike]

Damn, almost all of those would be good cards for my ex. I would have loved to get one of those for her 231st birthday (that's 33 in dog years. ;) )

[Bella_Vixen]

Thanks a lot, Bella_Vixen! Ice tea up the nose HURTS! :eek: ;)

Sorry Mis. Couldn't resist.

I actually have the card. I wanted one to give to my ex (when we were still together, of course), but the local Hallmark was out of them.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

You and I are a match made in
(inside card) Detroit.

Unfortunately, I must break up with you. I really hope you
(inside card) choke on vomit

I have a special place for you in my heart
(inside card) And another one in my basement

[Siduri]

My favorite card of all time:

The front showed a Far Side comic featuring two alligators talking about eating people, something like, "These things are great: no claws, no fur, no fangs, no scales: just soft, pink meat!" (Basically to alligators, people are like Spam)

And then, on the inside, it read,

"Thinking of you."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Where can I find these cards? Those would be perfect for several people I know.:roll: