Parasite

[Rapscallion]

I've got a brother of sorts. Some of the long-term members may remember my successful attempt to get him into gainful employment and off World of Warcraft every waking hour of the day (I may repost that if I get requests).

Anyway, he's still living with parents and me. I have plans to move out early next year now I have a decent wage. He's been out, trashed a place or two through neglect, got evicted, and is now sleeping on the study floor. It used to be his bedroom, but parents are quite happy not to change it back.

A short while ago, he announced that since he was so fat (he isn't) he wasn't going to be eating at home. This didn't last. He's on what I like to think of as Dieter's Rebound - stop a diet and then gorge yourself silly. The problem is that he's more than happy to gorge on ... anything of mine, really.

Let's put it this way, I like bread. I pick up a french stick every so often, but I've noticed that I'll come back and there'll be very little left, or just the wrapper discarded on the side. At the back end of last week, our parents went out for a few days. Being the dedicated bachelor that I am, I picked up a couple of french sticks and a few sandwich fillings. I joked with the cashier that I'd be lucky to get half of one of the french sticks.

I got just over half. He wolfed the rest when I was at work.

I made grumbling noises at our mother who did a little investigating. "Oh, he says he bought some as well," she reported.

"He ate those as well," I replied. "I certainly didn't, and he was the only other one here."

Yesterday, after a particularly delightful Sunday lunch, I had a hankering for some ice cream. My guts don't react well to milk, so I have a product called Swedish Glace - ice cream made from soya. It's not bad at all, but it does tend to melt fast. It's also on the pricy side.

I had three tubs in the freezer. Note the word 'had'. Now, it had been maybe a month since I'd last eaten any, but they were all gone. I knew who'd had them and made grumbling noises once more. "Oh, they could be well down in the freezer," my mother said.

"Yeah, right," I said, and I headed off to the local supermarket to get some more.

Two tubs later, my mother and I had some chocolate ice cream. Jolly nice it was too, I must say, but we left well over half a tub of chocolate and a full tub of vanilla.

The parasite wandered past to get a smoke - he's almost house-trained to smoke outside, but tends to light up just inside the door - as I was doing the dishes. I didn't take much notice of his comongs and goings, but a little later he dropped something in the bin. I stared. He'd eaten the rest of the chocolate ice cream. I showed this to our mother, and she said nothing.

"I bet there's none left of those three tubs I had," I said, before going off to finish the dishes.

No 'please', no 'thank you', and most certainly no 'by your elbow'.

The amusing thing is that when I was talking about moving out, my father was of the opinion that the parasite could come and live with me. I put the kybosh on that idea straight away, but I think he still wants that as a result. They've told him that he's not having my room once I've left the nest. He's going to inch his way in. That's a prophecy.

Rapscallion

[Barefootgirl]

Lace the ice-cream with laxatives? He's not a customer, he's your brother, therefore its OK to take revenge on him for the scrounger he is. Is it only your food he's pigging out on, or is he eating everything in sight? If its only/mainly your food, then it sounds more like a passive-aggressive dig at you, than a need to eat.

Would your parents be amenable to giving you a locked cupboard in the kitchen or the pantry, where you could stash your stuff away from bro? If not, what about keeping it in your room, and keeping the door locked?

You absolutely DON'T have to have the parasite living with you once you get your own place ! Don't give him a key, and if you give your parents a key, make sure they aren't going to hand it over to him. If he ever does start making moves on your house, don't feel bad for throwing his stuff out. Does he actually have a job at the moment?

[Seanette]

I've got a brother of sorts. Some of the long-term members may remember my successful attempt to get him into gainful employment and off World of Warcraft every waking hour of the day (I may repost that if I get requests).
Consider request made. :D

I tend to be the blunt type (common in my family). I'd be asking the parents point-blank why in the world I should be expected to support a free-loading sibling.

[protege]

Consider request made. :D

I tend to be the blunt type (common in my family). I'd be asking the parents point-blank why in the world I should be expected to support a free-loading sibling.

I have a brother who is currently unemployed. He's not exactly looking for work, and is driving my parents nuts. Right after I started moving things into my house...several comments were made about how "he could come live with me." Uh, what? He's out of work. Do you really think I'm going to let that freeloader live rent free when I have a mortgage payment every month? Needless to say, he's still mooching off of them.

[Banrion]

I too have dealt with the leeching sibling. Luckily it was not my own. My b/f's brother is a serial f*-up. He can't hold a job because he can't be bothered to get up in the morning, he has now been kicked out of both the US Marines (faked injury) and Air Force (mental defect), he puts his wants before his needs and responsibilities.(i.e. bought a car at auction despite owing 3 mos back rent) He was pawned off on the b/f when their dad gave them an apt in their 6 family house.

I was brought in by the b/f essentially to be "the bitch." Nothing we did would get through to him. He would eat all of our food, so we took to putting locks on the cabinets and refrigerator, so he started stealing money out of our change bowl to go out to eat. He didn't pay the electricity bill, so we resorted to tripping the main breaker on the circuit board whenever we left the house, he just left when we did, and would sit outside until we came home. He would stay out until 3 am and come home and turn on all the lights and tv and slam doors knowing full well that I had to be up at 4:30 am to go to work. Whenever he wanted money he would just take something of ours and pawn it. After 5 months of dealing with his crap we finally got the OK from the landlord AKA his dad to change the locks and leave his stuff in the hall. Which we did. (Thank god Home Depot is open until 10:00pm as it was about 9:25 when we got the OK) Even after changing the locks, he broke into the apartment and stole our PS2.

He is now pretty much out of my life. Now that he is home again from being kicked out of the AF he will come over to see the b/f, but as soon as I show up he beats a hasty retreat. I refuse to play nice with him anymore. He still technically owes us over $1000.00 in unpaid bills from when he was living with us, and over $5000.00 in stolen property. B/f plays nice, because it's his brother and he feels bad for the kid, but at the same time refuses to give him any money or loan him anything.

[CanadaGirl]

He still technically owes us over $1000.00 in unpaid bills from when he was living with us, and over $5000.00 in stolen property. B/f plays nice, because it's his brother and he feels bad for the kid, but at the same time refuses to give him any money or loan him anything.


Small claims court, perhaps? Someone needs to kick that guy in the rear.

[Rapscallion]

Consider request made. :D


This one's fairly simple, though lengthy.

The parasite decided, some time ago, that he would seek gainful employ in another part of the world where his chums had gone to live - namely Whitby. He found a job, got himself a car, and we were free of him for some time. After some time, he realised that he "hadn't seen the world" and wanted to do that student thing of working his way around the continent. He knew people who'd done that, you see, and so he knew everything. He sold most of his possessions, especially his car, and went off to discover himself.

Nine months later, he returned. He landed in Amsterdam, found work behind the bar of one of those coffee shops, and sold drugs for almost a year before coming back. He was a frequent inhaler before he went off anyway, so it's not like he was infected by the culture of tolerance.

He came back, got himself a flat in the area paid for by the gubmint, and after being no longer employed, sat in his flat with a broadband connection and played World of Warcraft all hours of the day and night. He smoked indoors and never turned on the de-humidifier the landlord had installed. That would take electricity from the two monitors he ran at the same time, you see, and he couldn't diminish his gaming pleasure. He never opened his windows, and you could smell his flat from the road. I kid you not. It was vile. He also ate cheap crap to save money to pay for his addiction.

Eventually, the landlord used chicanery to evict him and he came back to live with the parents. By this time, we were out of the retail shop and I was actually earning a wage, as was the Boss. The Boss was adamant that the parasite would not stay, but he did. He's not that willing to do anything for himself, though I think you've probably guessed that by now.

The pattern continued, but at a different location with opened windows, hygiene, and an eventual diminishing of stench. He'd sleep during the day so he'd be able to be online during all hours of the night with the majority of the American folks due to time zones. The Boss was not impressed with the constant clackity-clack of the keyboard in the room next to him as he was trying to sleep, and much was the complaining. Oh, and when the parasite returned, he just came into my room with a router and said "Looks like I'm going to be sharing your cable connection." No 'please', no 'thank' you etc. The pattern is set.

Things came to a head for me one Saturday morning when I was getting up for the start of a (voluntary) six am shift and he saw me going into the bathroom. It was at that point that he went to bed. I was in the process of working for roughly sixty-five hours that week, yet he was just sponging off the state and living cheaply so he could maintain his reputation on a few bytes of information on a game. Our mother had tried to persuade him to get a job and had made several offers of assistance, all turned down.

The next day came. After a rather pleasant Sunday lunch, I asked the parasite if he had a job lined up. No. Did he want help with application forms? No. Help getting decent interview clothes? No.

In that case, if he didn't have a job by the end of the week, I was taking him off my cable connection.

The important thing is that I kept my word. The Boss, soft of heart as always, wasn't certain that I meant it, despite him being the most vociferous demander that the parasite should seek gainful employment. All mouth, no trousers, as we don't say around here.

I did the deed, and he was unplugged. That same night, I told him to get his interview clothes on and dragged him out seeking jobs. "Where's hiring now?" he protested, so I drove him to the local service station - it's within walking distance of home.

"People are working here, so they'll be hiring," I explained. "Go and ask."

He didn't get anywhere, because he's fairly unemployable - no real people skills for customer service and he does tend to have to think about basic concepts at times. However, I'd shown him the way.

The parasite started to sleep all day and night, a classic sign of withdrawal as I understand it. I lent him a stand-alone game or two - things that don't require online access - but that was all. The Boss pleaded with me to let him back on my connection, but I stood firm. The Boss even let the parasite use his dial-up connection, but WoW on dialup is ... lamentable.

Within two weeks of me issuing the ultimatum, he had a job. You can get an addict to do pretty much anything as long as you control the source.

He still spends every waking moment not at work on World of Warcraft, but at least the bugger's working now. It's a start.

Rapscallion

[Banrion]

Small claims court, perhaps? Someone needs to kick that guy in the rear.

Pointless for us to take him to court and spend more money, when he doesn't have a job or any way to pay a judgement should we get one. AND the courts do not aid collection of small claims judgement, so even if someday in the future he got a job, there would still be no way to force him to pay.

I just make it perfectly clear when he is around, that he is not welcome in my vicinity, and that I treat everything he says as a bald faced lie as his track record has shown.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Small claims court, perhaps? Someone needs to kick that guy in the rear.

Plus, wouldn't you need to show some sort of proof that:

a) The b/f's brother stole it
b) The b/f's brother pawned it off
c) The value of the items in question-I'm sure that the courts wouldn't let you pull a number out of your ass

Plus, since it was concidered to be stolen, wouldn't an insurance claim be in order, not small-claims court?

[Der Cute]

Raps, your parents (sorry to say) are as bad as your brother.

They're enabling the Parasite to sit and leech every bloody cent from the family.

As you said above, if you hadn't turned off the broadband, he wouldnt have a job. If you dont bring food home, he'll have to.

Seriously, kick the wanker out. Or buy the Grand Canyon.. I know, miracles dont always happen.

Your parents are as much to blame as Mr. Parasite is. If they dont put their feet down, and keep said feet down, Mr. Parasite wont stay off his A$$.

Once you move out, Do NOT give your phone or address to them. Email or Call from a work phone. And tell Mr P he is not welcome at your home.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I cant think of a better way to get rid of lice. and if your parents have the info, either theyll slip it out or he'll snoop it and find you.

Guess tis time for sword praccy, dear.

Cute

[Rapscallion]

It's easy, actually. He's paying board, but once I'm out of here he's not my problem. He's only eating food so far, but I will be making sure it's clear he doesn't get a key to my place.

Some good advice there, but I have more than enough cajones to tell him to his face that he's a leech.

Best part, though, is that when I move out, I take the cable with me. No way am I going to continue to pay so he can enjoy 10Mb download speeds. I'm seriosuly considering not letting him take over the connection.

Rapscallion

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I agree with Cutenoob. They complain about his behavior, then beg you to to help him continue with it?

No wonder he's a trifling sack of gamefunk. They need to change their habits as much as he does. Maybe moreso. He's happy being useless, so he has no real reason to change. They, on the other hand, are NOT happy, yet they keep doing the same things that keep letting the parasite being a parasite.

This is not a good situation, as I am sure you know.:(

[protege]

No wonder he's a trifling sack of gamefunk. They need to change their habits as much as he does. Maybe moreso. He's happy being useless, so he has no real reason to change. They, on the other hand, are NOT happy, yet they keep doing the same things that keep letting the parasite being a parasite.

Exactly. My parents are going this crap right now. My brother is *still* unemployed, and doesn't seem to be doing much to change that. Before I moved out, he'd be playing video games or watching TV all day long. Keep in mind that this fool has a car loan, and still hasn't paid off his school loans.

The reason for this is my parents. He'd never had to work hard for anything. They've always given him pretty much what he wants. Meanwhile, I've had to work for it. For example, when I graduated high school, I inherited my father's rusty '87 Tempo to use while going to/from college classes. Said car's engine blew up during my senior year in high school...and was replaced with a car that *I* had to pay for. So you can imagine how pissed off I was when I found out that my parents were leasing him a *brand new* 2000 Chevy Prizm . Fast forward a few years, and he's lost his job, and has to pay against his 2006 Saturn Vue....which my *parents* are paying for now. They're also making payments for his schooling, yet he's not in a hurry to get a job.

I guess I'm a bit pissed, since I've had to work my ass off for things--school, house, computer, car, etc. and he doesn't have to lift a finger, and somehow gets away with it. At least, I can take pride in the fact that I paid off my school loans a few years early, paid off the car, took on the MGB GT restoration (it was formerly my father's car), as well as bought a house. He can't make that claim ;)

Right now, he's driving my mother crazy, since he doesn't do anything--all he does is watch TV and play video games. At least I've moved out so it's no longer *my* problem--when I was still living at home, my rent payments were directly *subsidizing* whatever bills he ran up.

[Argabarga]

Wow, what is it about having slacker brothers? Mine just moved back home again, and will probably be driving Mom up the wall very shortly with the same behaviors she keeps throwing him out for (leaving her his dirty laundry, eating thier food, enjoying free phone and free internet, etc.)

I'm not half as pissed at him as I am at my Dad for allowing it, she keeps disciplining him and laying rules, and he just overrules them, I really can't figure it out.

[KuzcoLlama]

I agree. It always helps to have parents work together. My own, even though they're divorced, are still a tag-team. They talk about my and my bro all the time regarding school, work and the like. Probably why we never felt the need to sit on our asses and be lazy about things.

Plus, they would kick said asses should we ever get lazy.

The worst my brother ever did was drag his feet on getting a summertime job. So what did my dad do? (living there at the time)
Hounded said bro day and night. He went and got a job pretty quickly after that.:D

[Rapscallion]

Apparently the Parasite is going to seek his own place starting in the new year.

I hope to be in the process of being on my way at the point. I'm not holding my breath.

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

The Parasite has found somewhere and is starting to move out to a rented apartment this weekend!

He's got his priorities, though. He's moving his stuff this weekend, but not himself until he has broadband Internet access...

Actually, I rather approve of that. The best bit is that he's going!

Rapscallion

[Rapscallion]

Things got interesting recently. I found out the unexpected way that he has a girlfriend.

How did he do this if he's stuck to the WoW screen all the time? Simple - she's another player. She's also from Belgium and has come over to stay with him for a while.

Mater asked if she was going to get to meet the flower of Belgian femininity (or very desperate person), but he replied that only if they were both going to be treated to a slap-up meal at a local restaurant.

In the meantime, since the flat he's currently destroyed is furnished and comes with a DVD player, he's raided my collection and given me some more room on a temporary basis.

Rapscallion