Any other mothers do this?

[Broomjockey]

I've tried telling her to stop, I've told her it's massively embaressing, I've told her I don't want help, but none of it works.


Every time I have even two seconds of plesant conversation with a moderately cute girl withing visual range of my mother, she tries to convince the girl and me to trade numbers, or hook up, or anything.

I thought meddling mothers trying to get their single children in a relationship was a tv gimmick. Please tell me someone else's mother does this! Better, tell me they used to do this, and how you got her to stop!

[KuzcoLlama]

My mom tries to set me up with guys every now and then. There is no stopping her, only sarcastically deflecting the conversation elsewhere. And ducking into a stairwell when she starts coming my way.

[One-Fang]

I have no advice. My mother and I aren't on speaking terms so we're never together.

On the plus side, I highly recommend it as a way of ceasing all of those annoying mother behaviours. :D

[ArenaBoy]

I've had that problem with my great-aunt and my mom but the best advice I can give you is to politely ask your mother to stop doing that. If she doesn't stop just tell her how much it annoys you and that you understand that she wants the best for you but it's not going to work with her interfering. This is a drastic resort, but what I did was I told my mom that if she didn't stop, that you'll date a girl who's into strange things, I.E. things that would put your mother in a heart attack. It's mean yes, but it sadly works.

[protege]

I get that from various family members. Apparently, since I'm 30, they all think I should be "settling down with someone." Um, no, not happening. At least my mother has backed off a bit from this....but not before trying to 'set me up' with losers from her office. (I should mention that my last relationship of any type was about 5 years ago :eek: I'm not going to bore you all with the details--if you *really* wanna know, it's all in my LJ at various places from 2001. )

First "fix up" was well, interesting. We went out once, and then I never heard from her again.

Second attempt at fixing me up was worse--on the second date, she totally lost it :eek: She invited me to a party with some of her friends, and then ignored me the rest of the night. I don't usually do well in situations where I don't know anyone. Afterwards we went to a bar to hang out...and that's when she lost it. She went off about how I was 'wasting her time' and how she 'wasn't interested in me' etc. Even though she'd said she wasn't looking for anything serious, I was willing to be friends with her anyway....up until that point it is. I didn't even bother sticking around--we all went in different cars, so I left and went home. Later, she told my mother that it was "a misunderstanding." Right.

But, it gets better! Not. About a month after that, my mother (you thought someone else?) tried to do it again. This time, I told her that I wasn't going to waste my time with that. If the girl wanted to go out, *she* can do the calling. Until then, I'm busy :p

That seemed to do the trick though. Unfortunately, it's only made my father constantly bug me about it! I know he means well, but give me a break!

[BrassCowboy]

Luckily my mom doesn't do that yet. I guess since I'm 19, I still have a few more years before her desperation kicks in to get me hitched.

[Barefootgirl]

Take it as read that the "moderately cute girl" is also terminally embarrassed and would not go out with someone with a mother like that !!! No offence to your mum, but can you imagine? She'd be picking out wedding invitation styles by the third date.

The path of least resistance is simply to roll your eyes, smile apologetically at Cute Girl and gently remind your mum that you are FINE.

[Greenday]

Can't say my mom does that. She gives me all the privacy in the world. But she will say stuff you just don't expect from a mom.

Let's take the other night for example. I was talking to her online, when two girls walked into my room and asked me if I wanted to go to a small party on the fourth floor. I told my mom really fast what was happening and she said to have fun. When I talked to her the next day, she was asking me if I drank too much and if anything happened with me and the two girls...

When I was 14, summer before high school, I was in the car with my mom when she gave me the speech. "I know that sooner or later you are going to start having sex, so when you do, just be safe and use condoms. If you don't have any, just ask me, your step-dad, or your sister to get you some." I was like wtf? I'm not having sex any time soon...

She's pretty cool, at least she's being realistic. Her policy is basically, have fun, but for the love of God, don't do anything ridiculously stupid.

[Ryu]

my mom keeps pushing me to go out with anyone, my dad as well except for a different reason, but lately now that im at college its not as bad and theyve never tried to fix me up with anyone... yet...

[Der Cute]

Ugh...

My mother once kept telling me she wanted grand children. She really really wanted grandkids, and was asking me when I'd have them.

I had to turn around and bluntly tell her....

"If you want grand children, you are going to have to go out and buy your own. I will do what I want as I want, so DONT BRING THIS UP ANY MORE."

she shut up and hasnt said any thing yet.

sometimes, you just have to be mean.

Cutenoob

[MadMike]

Ugh...

My mother once kept telling me she wanted grand children. She really really wanted grandkids, and was asking me when I'd have them.

I had to turn around and bluntly tell her....

"If you want grand children, you are going to have to go out and buy your own. I will do what I want as I want, so DONT BRING THIS UP ANY MORE."

she shut up and hasnt said any thing yet.

sometimes, you just have to be mean.

Cutenoob

Oh yes, I can definitely relate to that. I'm married, and have a son from a previous disastrous relationship. There's probably a thread or two about that one floating around somewhere.

My brother and his wife have two sons of their own. Lately, my mom's been bugging me and my wife to have one, because apparently she'd really like a granddaughter.

OK, first of all, I'm 37 now, and my wife just turned 35. Granted, that's not really "too old", but the idea of having to still be raising kids when I'm in my 50s does not appeal to me.

Second, even if we did decide to, there's no guarantee that would get her a granddaughter. There hasn't been a girl born into my side of the family in 60 years.

Third, one of us would have to quit our job and become a stay-at-home parent, or we'd have to shell out a crapload of money for daycare, neither of which we can really afford. I'm waiting for someone in my family to offer to help out, in which case I'll just say, "That's great, but can you also make me 21 again?"

I don't know what it is with people pestering other couples into reproducing, but it's really been getting on my nerves lately. It's a strictly a personal matter between a couple, and no one else's :censored:ing business.

I kind of went off at my mom at the last get-together, telling her that if she wants one so bad, to go have one herself. My wife said that was really mean, especially since she is too old, but like you said, sometimes you have to be blunt.

There's another family get-together in a couple weeks at my brother's place. Let's see if I've heard the end of it...

[Lobo]

Ja, I got this same lecture myself a few months ago. Basically I had to break it down for parents.

One, by pointing out that right now I'm no-where near wanting or being ready for kids. At the age of 26 I've got alot I want to do and I don't want kids while I'm doing it.
Two...please, like I'm getting serious enough with anyone to want them to mother my children. What happens between my girlfriend and I stays between my girlfriend and I. It ain't subject to my family's wishes and whimsical ideas.

Once this was broken down for them the family kinda seemed to understand...of course that understanding twinkle in their eyes could have just been the boilermakers we'd downed earlier that night.

[susan]

Thankfully my sister has already had a baby, so there is no grandchild pressure from my mom. I know she would like to have more than just one, but there is no way I'm going to have one (which she knows) and my sister is highly unlikely to have another one. My niece was a "surprise" and Sis has learned her lesson.

Thankfully she never tried to set me up and/or pressure me about dating. I was a late bloomer....I was incredibly shy and hid behind a wall of fat until my early 20s. My first "real" relationship wasn't until I was 25 and that only lasted a few months. I am so thankful she didn't try to push me into a situation that I was not ready to cope with. It could have scarred me forever.

Right now, though, I am getting a little marriage pressure. Every few months she casually asks if I think Ed and I are going to get married and every time I tell her no. I can understand it, we've been together for almost 4 years now and I know a lot women pressure their men to "put up or shut up" before this point. I'm happy the way things are, for one; and neither of us are very enthused about marriage in general. So I just roll my eyes and sigh each time she asks.

When I was younger I would fly off the handle and get pretty feisty with her when she gave me unsolicited advice. So I think she's learned to tread cautiously. It's certainly not the nicest way to get someone off your back and can cause uncomfortable amounts of tension....but hey it worked for me!

[AFpheonix]

My mom hasn't pestered me about babies, thank god. I'm sure she'd be happy if I popped one out, but I'd like to get into and out of grad school first.

My step-mother in law, on the other hand, has been pestering us about them since before we even married. It's not like she'd even get to spend a whole lot of time with them in the event I ever did reproduce, since neither I nor my husband particularly care for the woman.

My coworkers for some reason too keep asking me. I just tell them they make pills for that now. :)

[HYHYBT]

Every time I have even two seconds of plesant conversation with a moderately cute girl withing visual range of my mother, she tries to convince the girl and me to trade numbers, or hook up, or anything.

I thought meddling mothers trying to get their single children in a relationship was a tv gimmick. Please tell me someone else's mother does this! Better, tell me they used to do this, and how you got her to stop!There's one disturbing possibility no one's mentioned yet. It's obvious that, even if you were talking to the girl hoping for more, she'll lose interest when Mom shows up pushing the idea. In fact, it's *so* obvious, how could Mom not know she's driving them away? Maybe she does know. Maybe she means to.

[iradney]

i have the coolest mom on the face of the planet. she doesn't try to push me into relationships, gives her honest opinion of my boyfriends and is NOT in any hurry to become a gramma! :D

[Kiwi]

*hauls the thread back on topic*

ugh the set up is bad, no matter whom it comes from

you just gotta let her know that its making the situation worse, not better.

im so lucky my mum understood from a young age that relationships were TOTALLY off limits to her