Ethical Question

[Rubystars]

I'm quitting one of my jobs, my last day will be Wednesday, I've been working 13 and 14 hour days quite a lot and it's starting to get to me, so I have to stop. Recently one of my co-workers told me she was vegetarian and so when I brought up a bowl of candy to work, I made sure I included some hard candies that didn't have any gelatin in them so she could have some too. She was so happy I'd thought of her that she gave me a hug, which was nice!

Another of my co-workers is bringing a cake this Tuesday which I think is really sweet of her, but I would feel sad if the other girl felt left out. There will probably also be sodas which she can drink, but I was wondering if I should bring something else for everyone so maybe she can have some food too.

I was originally going to bring up a tray of sandwiches but brought candy instead because it was easier to work around. Would it be selfish now to just enjoy my going away event without making any special effort? After all someone else is bringing the stuff this time so maybe the responsibility would lie with them?

[Broomjockey]

I think the furthest your responsibility lies is to mention it to the person bringing the food this time. Mention it to them, and if they can work something out, good.

People with special dietary habits usually realize that not everyone is either a)going to be aware of their habits, or b) be able to work around them, especially if they don't mention it themselves when events are coming up.

[strawbabies]

Maybe someone could pick up a vegetable platter?

[Ryu]

well if shes a vegetarian gelatin in candy doesnt matter, but if shes vegan it does
vegans dont eat anything with anything from an animal in it, vegetarians simply dont eat animals, some also dont eat eggs milk cheese etc
maybe ask someone to bring something with no animal products, theres plenty that taste just like normal food, such as cookies

[susan]

If this is really going to weigh on your conscience, you could ask your co-worker what type of vegetarian she is. As Ryu mentioned, there are vegans who won't eat any animal product, but some vegans eat honey while others won't. Then there are ovo-lacto vegetarians (like me!) who eat eggs and dairy products. Others are just ovo or just lacto. She may be able to enjoy the cake. Or she may be incredibly hard-core and not eat anything she hasn't personally prepared (I know people like that).

However, as a vegetarian, I have to say that I don't think you are selfish for wanting to enjoy your party and not stress about what other people are bringing in. Even though vegetarianism is becoming a more popular lifestyle every day, the vast majority of people are still omnivores. I am used to being at functions where there really isn't too much to eat, because the person organizing it didn't think about non-meat eaters (or doesn't understand the concept). The only time it bothers me is when it is my own family or certain members of my BF's family who have known for at least 4 years now that I am a vegetarian. But, at the same time, it is hard to get too upset since I am the only one in the group and can't expect them to prepare a whole other meal just for me [/end tangent].

What I am trying to say, is that most vegetarians are understanding when it comes to these kinds of deals. It's sweet of you to be concerned, but since you're not giving the party it's also not your responsibility.

[One-Fang]

Is the coworker who is bringing the cake "in charge of food for the event" or simply "bringing a cake to say goodbye"? In the former, nothing wrong with you, as the event focus, asking for a vegetarian option to be included. If the latter, it would probably be quite rude to ask anyone to bring anything else. The cake-lady may feel if *you* bring something else "Why wasn't my cake good enough?"

In the end, your vegetarian coworker will not be at this function for the free food. She will be there to say farewell to you. She will likely not be too put off if she doesn't get to eat something.

[CrimsonEmber]

Speaking as a vegetarian, I would say not to worry about it. I know ahead of going to special events that I may not be able to eat what's being served, so I make it my own responsibility to talk to the person providing the food and maybe bring something I'm able to eat if nothing will be provided. I've never really felt left out if there are no veggie options, I just make my own. :) I think that at the very, very most you might mention it to the person making the food. But if the veggie knows that the party is coming up and who is handling the munchies, she'll probably do that herself, so really I think you can just relax and enjoy.

[Rubystars]

well if shes a vegetarian gelatin in candy doesnt matter, but if shes vegan it does
vegans dont eat anything with anything from an animal in it, vegetarians simply dont eat animals, some also dont eat eggs milk cheese etc
maybe ask someone to bring something with no animal products, theres plenty that taste just like normal food, such as cookies

Gelatin isn't vegetarian no matter what type of vegetarian you are, considering that it's made from boiling animal tissues and bones. The only type that would be vegetarian is made from algae, which is not an animal. I haven't asked for the details but I've assumed vegan just to be on the safe side, then if she tells me about some good omelette or something then I'll know it's lacto-ovo later.

I tried to do the vegetarian thing twice, and the first one lasted for about half a year, and the other time lasted a couple of months. It would have been easy for me to stick with it except that it was hard for me trying to live with all the other people in my family who weren't vegetarian. So even though I couldn't stay with it, I still want to support her while she's trying to do it and I've been positive about it with her.

[Rubystars]

Is the coworker who is bringing the cake "in charge of food for the event" or simply "bringing a cake to say goodbye"? In the former, nothing wrong with you, as the event focus, asking for a vegetarian option to be included. If the latter, it would probably be quite rude to ask anyone to bring anything else. The cake-lady may feel if *you* bring something else "Why wasn't my cake good enough?"

In the end, your vegetarian coworker will not be at this function for the free food. She will be there to say farewell to you. She will likely not be too put off if she doesn't get to eat something.


It's the latter, so thanks for the advice. I'll go with what you said. Thanks to everyone else for their advice and comments too. :)

[Broomjockey]

Gelatin isn't vegetarian no matter what type of vegetarian you are, considering that it's made from boiling animal tissues and bones.

Dawn - "This girl in class said they make Jell-O from ground up cows feet, so if you have Jell-O, there's a cow walking out there with out any feet, but I'm pretty sure they kill the cows before they cut off their feet, don't they?"
Buffy - "You're the one who insisted on teaching her to talk."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I'm not a vegetarian by any stretch, but I am a long-time low carber. I never feel it's anyone's responsibility to feed me but my own. If I go to a party and want to make sure I have something there I can eat or drink, I bring it myself. If the hosts try and accomodate me, I sure appreciate it, but if they don't, I certainly don't think poorly of them. Frequently, people don't understand my lifestyle enough to accomodate me anyway, and that's fine. I'm sure your vegetarian friend has the same attitude; most people with special dietary habits do, in my experience.

However, you sound like an awesomely sweet and considerate person to worry so about making sure your friend is taken care of. That's nice. You deserve to enjoy your event without stress, so mention it to the hostess, and then forget about it. :salute:

[Rapscallion]

I think the algae you're referring to is called Kuzu or Kudzu - more of a plant. We sell the fellow at work.

From my perspective, I was at a friend's house this weekend, and we had Yorkshire Puddings. I decided to try them despite them having milk in the batter. Hey, it's only a little, right?

Let's just say that it affects me, and they kept checking their baby's nappy while I wandered away with a grin...

In short, to remain true to a diet can be a bag of worms. I just wish I wasn't lactose intolerant. I don't mind the affects so much, but I do have to interact with others from time to time.

Rapscallion

[Seanette]

In short, to remain true to a diet can be a bag of worms. I just wish I wasn't lactose intolerant. I don't mind the affects so much, but I do have to interact with others from time to time.
Do things like Lactaid not work for you? My MIL has a lactose-intolerance problem, but the OTC things such as Lactaid work fine for her (good thing, too, since she's very unwilling to give up milk, ice cream, etc.).

[Rapscallion]

Never seen it on the shelves. I use rice milk (better than it sounds, and only tastes a bit like diluted rice...) and soya ice cream (Swedish Glace).

Think it's available over here?

Rapscallion

[Seanette]

Never seen it on the shelves. I use rice milk (better than it sounds, and only tastes a bit like diluted rice...) and soya ice cream (Swedish Glace).

Think it's available over here?

I would think so. Try a pharmacy/drugstore (not sure what your term would be for such a business).

[Lace Neil Singer]

At the supermarket where I work, there's a brand of lactose free milk, can't remember what it's called but it has a big black and white cow's face on it.

Incidently, that milk you buy to give to cats has no lactose in it cuz cats can't deal with lactose either. Tho I'm not suggesting you drink that (unless you really want to).