Root Beer Seppuku

[Gawdzillers]

So it's about 5 minutes after closing (The SCs always stick around after closing...hm), and I'm mopping. In the next aisle over, I hear a crazy (apparently diabetic) lady screaming.

"I've been shopping here for 8 years and I've already walked out of Kroger tonight, and I am entitled to a diet root beer! Diet! D-I-E-T! That means no sugar!"

As I rounded the corner and began to mop the next aisle, this lady had her cart parked across the aisle, blocking it off at about halfway, so I mopped as much as I could and waited for her to move.

Later, the manager was talking to her about ordering some diet root beer for her, and the lady started moaning, "I'm just gonna have to drink the regular, 'cause I've had a hard day, and I'm ready to end it."

But wait, there's more!

The lady was so mad about there not being any diet root beer that when she got out to her car, she had a fit and THREW her groceries into her car and sped off, leaving behind a frozen pizza in the parking lot.

Sounds like she needed this:
http://strangepolice.com/images/content/121384.jpg

[Jester]

"I am entitled to a diet root beer!"

No. No you're not. You're entitled to purchase anything the store has. You're entitled to a refund if something you purchase is defective or damaged. You're entitled to being treated fairly by the employees. If you're an American, you're entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Not happiness itself, you spoiled cow, but the pursuit of it.

So you're entitled to look for diet root beer till the frogs come home, but you are not, in any way, in any shape, entitled to actually getting diet root beer if the store doesn't stock it, doesn't have it, ran out of it, or doesn't sell enough of it to justify them ordering it.

I love tongue sandwiches. No store down here sells tongue. I am NOT entitled to tongue.

So please lady, take your entitlement issues and your stupid diet root beer if you can find it, and get the fuck out of the store and Gawdzillers' life!

[bunnyboy]

No. No you're not. You're entitled to purchase anything the store has. You're entitled to a refund if something you purchase is defective or damaged. You're entitled to being treated fairly by the employees. If you're an American, you're entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Not happiness itself, you spoiled cow, but the pursuit of it.

So you're entitled to look for diet root beer till the frogs come home, but you are not, in any way, in any shape, entitled to actually getting diet root beer if the store doesn't stock it, doesn't have it, ran out of it, or doesn't sell enough of it to justify them ordering it.

I love tongue sandwiches. No store down here sells tongue. I am NOT entitled to tongue.

So please lady, take your entitlement issues and your stupid diet root beer if you can find it, and get the fuck out of the store and Gawdzillers' life!



:salute::worship::super::yourock::highfive::muya: :cheers::drink: THIS!

[powerboy]

Jester, that rocks. That seriously rocks.

[Apathy]

I am entitled to a diet root beer! Diet! D-I-E-T! That means no sugar!"

Perhaps you have heard of this new sugarless drink called "Water." Chances are that you have a device in your home that dispenses this wonder-liquid. Jackass.

[One-Fang]

I am NOT entitled to tongue.

Snert! Mmmfffff!!! :lol:

[MadMike]

I am NOT entitled to tongue.


My wife tells me the same thing. :rimshot:

[RetailWorkhorse]

All the Diet Root Beers I've found has Aspertame in it anyhow. I hate the taste of Aspertame. I'll take my chances with the full-sugar Root Beer or simply do without.

Or get my hands on Diet Rite.

*Pops top on Diet Rite can and drinks*

[Snowbird]

All the Diet Root Beers I've found has Aspertame in it anyhow. I hate the taste of Aspertame. I'll take my chances with the full-sugar Root Beer or simply do without.

Or get my hands on Diet Rite.

*Pops top on Diet Rite can and drinks*I've never tried their diet root beer, but Jones Soda (http://www.myjones.com/shop/12-pack-of-sugar-free-root-beer-jones-soda.html) has good stuff. :D It's also made with sucralose, woot?

As to the root beer fiend, it sounds like she was trying really hard to share her miserable day. No thank you! :p

[RootedPhoenix]

Perhaps you have heard of this new sugarless drink called "Water." Chances are that you have a device in your home that dispenses this wonder-liquid. Jackass.

Ah, too bad you couldn't have said that TO her (seeing as how you weren't there). The possibilities....:roll: :devil:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

All the Diet Root Beers I've found has Aspertame in it anyhow. I hate the taste of Aspertame. I'll take my chances with the full-sugar Root Beer or simply do without.

Or get my hands on Diet Rite.

*Pops top on Diet Rite can and drinks*

I'll take the Aspertame. Some of the diet soft drinks now have Splenda in them and I can't stand that - to me it tastes too sweet.

So for me, it's either a diet drink or bottled water.

And no, I'm not a fan of root beer per say. Give me a Diet Sunkist or Diet Dr. Pepper any day of the week.:D

[Broomjockey]

I love root beer. Always have, always will. I can even tell individual brands of root beer by taste. Barq's is more bitter, while A&W is foamy, even when flat, Mug is sugary, etc.

Diet Root Beer tastes like ass 100% of the time, no matter what brand. I refuse to drink it.

[Gawdzillers]

I love root beer. Always have, always will. I can even tell individual brands of root beer by taste. Barq's is more bitter, while A&W is foamy, even when flat, Mug is sugary, etc.Really? I think Barq's is pretty sweet.

[Devilot]

till the frogs come home,

... This is my new favorite saying, recently dethroning "land walrus."

[froglet]

Barqs is different in the States than in Canada as far as I know, like Mt. Dew is.

[Broomjockey]

like Mt. Dew is.

I wouldn't doubt Barq's is different. I know Mt. Dew is. I love dismaying my friends by telling them that there's no caffeine in ours.

[Jester]

I love root beer. Always have, always will. I can even tell individual brands of root beer by taste. Barq's is more bitter, while A&W is foamy, even when flat, Mug is sugary, etc.

Diet Root Beer tastes like ass 100% of the time, no matter what brand. I refuse to drink it.

I don't drink diet anything. It all tastes like ass to me.

I love root beer, but I don't drink Barq's. Ever. I never liked the taste of it much when I first tried it, and now I can't drink it, as it is the only root beer (that I know of anyway) that has caffeine in it.

And Jester doesn't drink caffeine. It does bad things to his stomach, and frankly, he is high energy enough that he doesn't need caffeine. So high energy, in fact, he sometimes takes to referring to himself in the third person. Weirdo.

[Belari]

I wouldn't doubt Barq's is different. I know Mt. Dew is. I love dismaying my friends by telling them that there's no caffeine in ours.

:eek: No caffeine in Mt. Dew?? Well what's the point of drinking monkey piss if it's got no caffeine?

[Jester]

Well what's the point of drinking monkey piss if it's got no caffeine?

Hilarious! Even back when I drank caffeine (pre-1990), I never drank Mountain Dew. You call it monkey piss, I call it anti-freeze, but in the end we agree....nasty crap! :lol:

[Broomjockey]

:eek: No caffeine in Mt. Dew?? Well what's the point of drinking monkey piss if it's got no caffeine?

I dunno. I drank it when I was younger, but now I only put it in when I'm mixing sodas. I think I had this odd idea it'd make my pee glow.

[RootedPhoenix]

I dunno. I drank it when I was younger, but now I only put it in when I'm mixing sodas. I think I had this odd idea it'd make my pee glow.

:lol: It does nearly glow all by itself....

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

/is hooked up to a Mountain Dew drip

What? :D

I hates coffee, so I has to get my caffeine some other way.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I have pretty much cut caffeine out of my diet, apart from the occasional Boathouse Farms Mocha Cappuccino protein drink, or a Diet Coke if I REALLY need the caffeine to keep from collapsing on the floor at work.

Otherwise, it's strictly water for Yours Truly.

[StanFlouride]

I am NOT entitled to tongue.

Aww, c'mon. If there is ANY justice/karma/balance in the Universe, we're ALL entitled to a little tongue now and then.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Aww, c'mon. If there is ANY justice/karma/balance in the Universe, we're ALL entitled to a little tongue now and then.

Thank you, Stan, now I have a nose bleed.

[Fungus]

I'm probably the only person in the world that liked Diet Dr Pepper Cherry Chocolate. I miss it, but it never occurred to me to spaz out when it stopped being sold in the grocery store.

[candyshopgirl]

MMMM
Shes eating pizza with having Diabetes.With all the fat,carbs,and calories.My hubby has Diabetes and he would eat pizza everyday (if I would let him):devil:
maybe thats what this hag needs other then a swift kick in the butttocks.Someone to slap her face ummmm I mean her hand and say no bad no pizza, no diet root beer

[Gawdzillers]

I dunno. I drank it when I was younger, but now I only put it in when I'm mixing sodas. I think I had this odd idea it'd make my pee glow.

My friend and I stayed up all night drinking Vault once and it made our pee smell like it.
I also started sweating for no apparent reason the next morning.

[RetailWorkhorse]

My friend and I stayed up all night drinking Vault once and it made our pee smell like it.
I also started sweating for no apparent reason the next morning.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiimp. :D

[chainedbarista]

Diet Root Beer tastes like ass 100% of the time,

i'd like to amend this to diet ANYTHING tastes like ass 100% of the time.

if she's diabetic, as she claims, she's better off with water, rather than soda or the pizza.

i go for the regular, no matter what; if i'm gonna go bad, i go all the way, or forget it.

still, the whole 'i'm entitled' speech was a steaming load of bs; if it's not there, ask for a rain check or if it can be ordered or go elsewhere. the world's a big place and she's just a speck within it, so hop on that waaahmbulance and get outta town, missy!

[Pagan]

Barqs is different in the States than in Canada as far as I know, like Mt. Dew is.

Same reason that I can't drink Coke from Mexico. It's waaaaay sweeter than ours.

:eek: No caffeine in Mt. Dew?? Well what's the point of drinking monkey piss if it's got no caffeine?

I don't like the regular Mt. Dew, but the Code Red is quite good.

And does anyone remember Jolt cola? All the sugar and twice the caffeine, which left not much room for anything as banal as flavour mind you....

[RetailWorkhorse]

a? All the sugar and twice the caffeine, which left not much room for anything as banal as flavour mind you....

Found a sugar free Lemon-Lime Jolt in my local Big Lots.

Did not get the caffeine buzz I was expecting.

[Broomjockey]

i'd like to amend this to diet ANYTHING tastes like ass 100% of the time.


I quite like Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi. Other than that, yeah, most diet stuff is ass.

[otakuneko]

I don't drink diet^H^H^H^Hregular anything. It all tastes like ass to me.


:angel:
HFCS has nasty aftertaste.

[Jester]

My friend and I stayed up all night drinking Vault once and it made our pee smell like it.
I also started sweating for no apparent reason the next morning.

Oh, I would say the reason was very apparent. Vault has even more caffeine than Moutain Dew. You drink it all night, you are going to load up on caffeine. That much caffeine in your system is going to make you sweat the next morning. It's your body reacting to the overload. I don't know the exact science, but I do know that enough caffeine will do that to you. So will too much alcohol or garlic, for that matter. (I've experienced all three, thank you very much.)

[Becks]

I am NOT entitled to tongue.

Oh, everyone is.

Ooooops...back to the official pervfest thread for me.

Perhaps you have heard of this new sugarless drink called "Water." Chances are that you have a device in your home that dispenses this wonder-liquid. Jackass.

Now with 95% less cryptosporidium!!! :D

I don't like the regular Mt. Dew, but the Code Red is quite good.

I agree.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I'm probably the only person in the world that liked Diet Dr Pepper Cherry Chocolate. I miss it, but it never occurred to me to spaz out when it stopped being sold in the grocery store.

No . . . there's two people in the world who liked the Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Chocolate.

We got in one flat of it in 2 liter bottles (they come shipped 8 to a flat) and that was a mistake on part of the warehouse according to both the rig driver and the sales rep. Sales rep worked those to the shelf, thinking he wouldn't sell them. Heh.

They were almost gone by the time I went home from work . . . I saw one customer with 4 of them. I was barely lucky to get 2 of them and they were the last 2 on the shelf. I barely made it through the checkout with them and got them to the car.

And yes, I did enjoy both those 2 ltrs.:D

[Reyneth]

I'm probably the only person in the world that liked Diet Dr Pepper Cherry Chocolate. I miss it, but it never occurred to me to spaz out when it stopped being sold in the grocery store.

Where do you live? I have 11 cans left of a 12 pack that I've been meaning to get rid of!

[Geek King]

Where do you live? I have 11 cans left of a 12 pack that I've been meaning to get rid of!

I'm in southern Ohio (Dayton Area), if you're close. I'll take `em. :D


Of course, I'm still in mourning over the Mt. Dew Pitch Black--The ORIGIONAL Pitch Black, not that sour PB II they rereleased. The origional was a staple of the gaming table for months, and actually tasted like grape, rather than purple. :p

[otakuneko]

I liked the diet cherry chocolate too.
And the berries 'n cream.

I couldn't get enough of that stuff. Diet, of course. ;)

[Fungus]

Where do you live? I have 11 cans left of a 12 pack that I've been meaning to get rid of!

I also live in Ohio. Weird, huh? I still have about 8 12 packs myself. I bought out a local store after it was discontinued. Grabbed about 12 or so. Wife thought I lost my mind.

[Reyneth]

I'm in southern Ohio (Dayton Area), if you're close. I'll take `em. :D

Strangely enough, I'm in Cleveland. No plans to go south for a while but I won't toss them at this point!

I miss the Crystal Clear Pepsi! :(

[RetailWorkhorse]

Of course, I'm still in mourning over the Mt. Dew Pitch Black--The ORIGIONAL Pitch Black, not that sour PB II they rereleased. The origional was a staple of the gaming table for months, and actually tasted like grape, rather than purple. :p

*Mourns with him*


I miss PepsiEdge as well. I liked it. Less sugar and no aspartame. I understand a lot of people have a problem with Sucrolose, but I have huge problems with Aspartame, so no diet sodas for me (save for Diet Rite, of course....dammit, only got one can left).

[Bradester]

I have a vision of a samurai doubled over in the pop aisle, trying to stab himself in the stomach with a liter of A&W. :lol:

The sugar alcohols in diet anything make my throat burn.

My brother works for Pepsi, I should see if they've got any leftover 'experimental' flavors lounging around the warehouse.

[Bliss]

BTW Diet means (usually) less fattening.. not "no sugar"... one good example is Light Mayonaise... it has less fat in it but it has added sugar which common Mayonnaise does not....

Learn to read the friggin label.

Oh and btw, "no sugar" doesn't mean "diabetic safe!" there are lots of other refined carbos that have as high a Glicemic Index (or higher) than glucose....

Sigh

[DGoddessChardonnay]

BTW Diet means (usually) less fattening.. not "no sugar"... one good example is Light Mayonaise... it has less fat in it but it has added sugar which common Mayonnaise does not....

Learn to read the friggin label.

Oh and btw, "no sugar" doesn't mean "diabetic safe!" there are lots of other refined carbos that have as high a Glicemic Index (or higher) than glucose....

Sigh

That's the truth of it in a nutshell. You can have either lower fat content or less sugar, but not both.

Which is why In don't like buying anything that's considered "light" or "reduced fat." The only thing sugar-free I like is my soft drinks - otherwise I"ll take regular of anything.:angel: