Happy - jealous - depressed

[Reyneth]

My sister got engaged today.

He's a wonderful guy, they've only been dating about 6 months but my mom and I decided early on that if Ali got rid of him, we'd still want to keep him - to say that's a first for any of the guys she's dated is really understating it.

I'm really happy for her.

But I'm also so jealous, so tired of failing in my searching. She's 3 years younger than me, too (not that it matters *that* much). I've had only one relationship in the past five years, lasting 2.5 months - although we're still good friends despite him now living across the country.:no: I'm running out of time and no real hope on the horizon. :blink:

And I'm so sad that my dad isn't here. There's so much in our lives that he has and will miss. And this is a big one. It's been five years, but still that thought of "my dad died too soon, he should be here to share this" is around a lot. :cry:
At least my grandma got to meet him and he did do a lot before she died, getting my sister to go see her a little more and then at the end when grandma was in a coma, sitting with my sister with her and such. That was hard for family, not to metion a near-stranger so I give him props for that.

[Jester]

I'm running out of time and no real hope on the horizon.

Are you dying? Are you terminally ill? Because if not, you are NOT running out of time. I am just guessing here, but I would say you are younger than me (I'm 38), and I don't think *I* am running out of time. Hell, lately I feel like it is all a new beginning, with all that came before it merely a primer on the do's and the don'ts.

Buck up, sunshine....there is more yet to come your way.

Unless, that is, you are willing to call me a liar. (Meaningful menacing glare in Reyneth's direction...)

It's been five years, but still that thought of "my dad died too soon, he should be here to share this" is around a lot.

On March 5, it will have been 28 years since my father died (I was 10), and I still get those thoughts. Just remember, he is with you, in one fashion or another.

[Reyneth]

You're right, you're older. I'll be 30 this summer. However, I have a little tick-tick-tick biological clock and I do want to have 2-3 kids. So that's why my time is running out! I've thought about going it alone (but not 14!!!) but I'm nowhere near financially able to do that now will I be for several more years.

[Jester]

Yes, you have a biological clock. But even if you don't mean someone by that "time," remember, you can always adopt. Sadly, that form of parenting is too often neglected in our society. And an adopted child is no less your child than a biological one. Don't believe me?

Ask an adopted child who his/her parents are.

[Buglady]

Yes, you have a biological clock. But even if you don't mean someone by that "time," remember, you can always adopt. Sadly, that form of parenting is too often neglected in our society. And an adopted child is no less your child than a biological one. Don't believe me?

Ask an adopted child who his/her parents are.

I have wanted to adopt since I was a child myself. I'm 35 and the biological clock has been put on permanent snooze... but I do want to foster/adopt. There are so many kids that need it.

[Reyneth]

Yes, you have a biological clock. But even if you don't mean someone by that "time," remember, you can always adopt. Sadly, that form of parenting is too often neglected in our society. And an adopted child is no less your child than a biological one. Don't believe me?

Ask an adopted child who his/her parents are.

Oh, I do know that. I am not at that point because I don't have to be yet, but I do know that there are tons of deserving kids who need someone. (My sister used to work CPS). Well, in another few years maybe I'll have to chance to be a fabulous aunt.

[AdminAssistant]

Well, in another few years maybe I'll have to chance to be a fabulous aunt.

Being an aunt - ROCKS!! You get to do all the fun things - but when there's crying or dirty diapers or discipline to be handed out - hand 'em back to Momma! I adore my step-niece (8) and nephew (3) and it's a lot of fun to get to watch them grow up. My nephew (known as Monster on the boards) has just now got to the point of holding real conversations and showing his personality...he's just adorable....yet, destructive. :lol:

*sigh* I wish I got to see them more often...that's the only thing that sucks about being in another state.

[AnaKhouri]

I know the biological clock thing can really screw with your emotions. But remember: 35 is not some magic number that means you can't conceive after that. These days it's no big deal for women between 35 and 45 to have kids (after that it gets a bit iffy but it's been done!).

And it's perfectly natural that you're a little jealous of your sister. But I can tell from your post that you really love her and are happy for her too. Try to concentrate on that part of it, and what a great guy she's getting, because it sounds like he really is. :)

[Der Cute]

I'm 33.
Waaay close to the number of 35...of child bearing odds starting to go lopsided.

And until 2 weeks ago I had been single for a good long time. So I did something about it.

I went to Craigslist. Yes. Craigslist. I went to the m4w section (not casual encounters, but hehe ask me later) and answered a few ads under a brand new email account I created for it.

Got a few replies, and with pics, I got to weed out people that gave me the willies or were ...just...off. This way, I also had the control of deciding when I wanted to meet them or talk to them or which ones to pick out. I like that.

J and I have been together since our first date, we are happy, insanely happy, and it's a miracle. He's got his flaws, so do I, but we're both adult enough to work with it.

guess I'm lucky, but you never will be unless you give it a shot.

Cutenoob

[Reyneth]

I've done the Craigslist thing. Some of those ads make me want :brainbleach:! Right now I've been doing Plenty of Fish - I guess I really do have one possible prospect that we've been emailing for a few days. I did email about 5 more guys today that normally I wouldn't have!

I have been alone for such a long time that it usually doesn't bother me - not that I'm necessarily happy about it, but I'm not one of those "must have a boyfriend all the time or I'm not ok" girls. But this new change in my sister's status just drives it in more about that part missing in my life.

I am trying really hard to be happy for her - there's a new photo place in our hometown that provides the backdrops and lighting and you take the photos (so you have the copyright). I want to take some engagement photos for them since I've worked in a studio but don't have the ability to create the setups myself. :o

And it was SO hard not to tell my grandma when she called today to say she'd been trying to call my sister to let her know why she wasn't home when Ali dropped off a birthday present last week. She couldn't get ahold of her, so I told her I'd text her ASAP. I'm a little disgusted Ali hadn't told her yet - she's our last grandparent and while the relationship wasn't the best after my dad died, but jeeze! :eek:

I will be hitting the gym harder now - I won't be fat in the wedding photos! :D And having photographed a few weddings, I'm sure I'll be able to help her with order of events, etc.

[Jester]

These days it's no big deal for women between 35 and 45 to have kids (after that it gets a bit iffy but it's been done!).

"These days" my ass. My mother had The Witch when Mom was three months shy of turning 31, me when Mom was two months shy of her 35th birthday, and Lil Sis two months after Mom turned 36.

'Nuff said.

But this new change in my sister's status just drives it in more about that part missing in my life.

I know the feeling. Really I do. But remember, her status really does not affect you directly. And you never know what something like this can turn into.

My older sister was married in 1998. She was divorced a couple of years ago.
My younger sister was married in 2003, and they are still happy and together.
I was engaged in 2002, and disengaged in 2003.

When The Brit dumped me, both of my sisters and all my cousins were married, and I was (and am still) the last one not to be married. Of course, since then, my older sister and youngest cousin have gotten divorces, and at least one or two of my other cousins probably SHOULD be divorced, as they are NOT in happy marriages. But what with kids and all......

Be happy with yourself, and someone will find you and you will be happy with them. End of story. :D

[dalesys]

My ex had #7 at 42 & #8 at 48 (neither mine).
Do-it-yourself grandkids:lol:

[Reyneth]

Ugh, I had someone on plenty of fish that was potentially promising - 4.5 hour chat last night. But tonight blew up with his "the population is growing out of control" and "our environment is degrading" and "every future generation will have a lesser quality of life than the one before it" preaching.

Am I oblivious to the world around me? No! I initially was a Bio major w/focus on genetics and environmental science. Do I want kids? 100% yes. Does it piss me off when a person who claims to be completely open and honest says he's "undecided/open" about kids when clearly he is not? HELL yes. I am so :wtf::pissed: right now.

OTH, I talked to my sister for a good chunk of time tonight, let her know that she WILL NOT be selecting a photographer without my input. And I got to see photos of her ring! :love: The way he proposed (bottom of the slide when she went down at a playground where they went on their 1st date) is so similar to the way my dad proposed (on the swings) that it makes me love my future brother-in-law even more. :D

The date is looking like it will be end of July, next year. Lots of time to get in shape (although I really need to focus on it now and then just maintain) and find a date!