unholypet
05-04-2009, 10:50 PM
So, all of these occur over the phone!
Imagine: Thank you for caling (pizza place) this is Unholy Pet, how may I help you?
Because I don't feel like typing it that many times!
G for guy.
Anti-alternative method maaaaaaaaan!
G: Do you know the number to Searcy's?
Me: I'm afraid Searcy's went out of business a couple years ago.
G: Oh, well what is it now?
Me: (chirping bug)
G: What's the number to (chirping bug)?
Me: I'm afraid we wouldn't have the number to another resturaunt.
G: But the dude told me the number yesterday and then I lost it!
Me: I'm afraid we wouldn't have the number to another resturaunt.
What kind of schmuck gives you a competitor's phone number?
G: Well I don't see why not.
Me: I'm sure if you looked in the Yellow Pages, its there.
G: Just tell me the number!
Me: You could also look it up on the websi--
*CLICK*
Me: ...fuck you.
Boss: What?
Me: I said oh suagr!
Boss: Oh.
Asshat.
This old man calls in every once in a while. Somewhere in my previous posts are one where he insisted plain meant no sauteed onions or green peppers on a philly steak, when instead, plain means no lettuce, etc. He will fight you over the phone, until Manager J is mentioned. Now, he just asks for Manager J.
AH: I want Man. J.
I know who you are, but I'm gonna ask anyway.. because you tick me off...
Me: May I ask whom is calling?
AH: Chuckie D!
Me: ... one moment please. =_=
Manager J was on break, SUCKS FOR YOU!
Me: I'm afraid he's unavailable at the moment, may I take a message?
AH: But I want some food.
Me: I would be more than happy to take your order, sir.
AH: But you'll screw it up!
Me: ...I'm afraid talking to me is the only way you'll be able to order at this time.
AH: FIne...
Order, confirm order, tell total.
Ah: But don't you screw it up! I know Man. J's the only one who can do it right.
Me: ... sure thing, sir. *click*
I relay his crap to Mrs. S, who also dislikes his 'tude.
Mrs. S: Wouldn't he cry Cheerios to know we're the ones who always make his food?
Me: I wish he'd get here while we make it. I bet he'd complain about us touching something precious Manager J should've!
Manager J didn't think the humor was humorous. :lol:
Stepmother!
Really, she's been crabby since her husband (Manager C's dad) died. Its been a few months, but she still takes it out on the world.
SM: Is Manager C there?
Me: I'm sorry, but she isn't working this morning.
SM: When does she clock in?
Me: I'm really not allowed to say, ma'am.
SM: But I'm her MOTHER!
Me: Have you tried her at home?
SM: Are you going to tell me when she comes in today? I don't have her home number.
But you're her MOTHER.
Me: I am not allowed to give you her number or schedule, ma'am.
SM: YOU ARE SO RUDE AND WORTHLESS
*CLICK*
Its really sad why she's feeling like this, but its not my fault.
BITCH!
So, I'm using the polite argue voice to this ANGRY RAGING woman who is yelling, cussing, and screaming about how our prices are ridiculous (although she was getting three large 1 toppings for $7.99 each). She kept on and on about the other local pizza place prices.
Me: I understand that they are a little cheape--
ARW: RADDA RADDA RADARA RADDA You don't even know what I just said a--Me: Ma'am, I am unable to lower the prices for only three pizzas.
ARW: OH MY FUCKING HELL RADDA RADDA--
Me: Ma'am.
ARW: RADDA KITCHEN SINK SCREAM YELLING CAUSE I WANT ANOTHER DISCOUNT AND ITS NOT JUST THREE PIZZAS! THAT'S A LOT OF FOOD--Me: .... ma'am.
ARW: RADDA RADDA--
Me: Ma'am..........
ARW: RADDA RADDA FUCKING CHEESE COSTS RADDA RADDA COW PIES
....
....
Me: .... MA'A--
ARW: RADDA RADDA:
Me: HEY BITCH.
ARW: RADDA-what?
Me: *huff* If you want to order ten or more pizzas, you can have them at FIVE DOLLARS EACH. Otherwise, these ONE TOPPINGS are going to be SEVEN NINETY NINE. Do you UNDERSTAND NOW?
ARW: well... okay... yeah.
Me: Okay............ do you still want your order.
ARW: ...yes.
Me: It will be on its way, and should be there in thirty minutes, maybe a couple more since you live farther out.
ARW: ... thank you.
*click*
Imagine: Thank you for caling (pizza place) this is Unholy Pet, how may I help you?
Because I don't feel like typing it that many times!
G for guy.
Anti-alternative method maaaaaaaaan!
G: Do you know the number to Searcy's?
Me: I'm afraid Searcy's went out of business a couple years ago.
G: Oh, well what is it now?
Me: (chirping bug)
G: What's the number to (chirping bug)?
Me: I'm afraid we wouldn't have the number to another resturaunt.
G: But the dude told me the number yesterday and then I lost it!
Me: I'm afraid we wouldn't have the number to another resturaunt.
What kind of schmuck gives you a competitor's phone number?
G: Well I don't see why not.
Me: I'm sure if you looked in the Yellow Pages, its there.
G: Just tell me the number!
Me: You could also look it up on the websi--
*CLICK*
Me: ...fuck you.
Boss: What?
Me: I said oh suagr!
Boss: Oh.
Asshat.
This old man calls in every once in a while. Somewhere in my previous posts are one where he insisted plain meant no sauteed onions or green peppers on a philly steak, when instead, plain means no lettuce, etc. He will fight you over the phone, until Manager J is mentioned. Now, he just asks for Manager J.
AH: I want Man. J.
I know who you are, but I'm gonna ask anyway.. because you tick me off...
Me: May I ask whom is calling?
AH: Chuckie D!
Me: ... one moment please. =_=
Manager J was on break, SUCKS FOR YOU!
Me: I'm afraid he's unavailable at the moment, may I take a message?
AH: But I want some food.
Me: I would be more than happy to take your order, sir.
AH: But you'll screw it up!
Me: ...I'm afraid talking to me is the only way you'll be able to order at this time.
AH: FIne...
Order, confirm order, tell total.
Ah: But don't you screw it up! I know Man. J's the only one who can do it right.
Me: ... sure thing, sir. *click*
I relay his crap to Mrs. S, who also dislikes his 'tude.
Mrs. S: Wouldn't he cry Cheerios to know we're the ones who always make his food?
Me: I wish he'd get here while we make it. I bet he'd complain about us touching something precious Manager J should've!
Manager J didn't think the humor was humorous. :lol:
Stepmother!
Really, she's been crabby since her husband (Manager C's dad) died. Its been a few months, but she still takes it out on the world.
SM: Is Manager C there?
Me: I'm sorry, but she isn't working this morning.
SM: When does she clock in?
Me: I'm really not allowed to say, ma'am.
SM: But I'm her MOTHER!
Me: Have you tried her at home?
SM: Are you going to tell me when she comes in today? I don't have her home number.
But you're her MOTHER.
Me: I am not allowed to give you her number or schedule, ma'am.
SM: YOU ARE SO RUDE AND WORTHLESS
*CLICK*
Its really sad why she's feeling like this, but its not my fault.
BITCH!
So, I'm using the polite argue voice to this ANGRY RAGING woman who is yelling, cussing, and screaming about how our prices are ridiculous (although she was getting three large 1 toppings for $7.99 each). She kept on and on about the other local pizza place prices.
Me: I understand that they are a little cheape--
ARW: RADDA RADDA RADARA RADDA You don't even know what I just said a--Me: Ma'am, I am unable to lower the prices for only three pizzas.
ARW: OH MY FUCKING HELL RADDA RADDA--
Me: Ma'am.
ARW: RADDA KITCHEN SINK SCREAM YELLING CAUSE I WANT ANOTHER DISCOUNT AND ITS NOT JUST THREE PIZZAS! THAT'S A LOT OF FOOD--Me: .... ma'am.
ARW: RADDA RADDA--
Me: Ma'am..........
ARW: RADDA RADDA FUCKING CHEESE COSTS RADDA RADDA COW PIES
....
....
Me: .... MA'A--
ARW: RADDA RADDA:
Me: HEY BITCH.
ARW: RADDA-what?
Me: *huff* If you want to order ten or more pizzas, you can have them at FIVE DOLLARS EACH. Otherwise, these ONE TOPPINGS are going to be SEVEN NINETY NINE. Do you UNDERSTAND NOW?
ARW: well... okay... yeah.
Me: Okay............ do you still want your order.
ARW: ...yes.
Me: It will be on its way, and should be there in thirty minutes, maybe a couple more since you live farther out.
ARW: ... thank you.
*click*