View Full Version : Very, very, poor taste
Today, whilst screwing around on teh internets I found out my ex (whom I still see everyday when he visits his son for a couple of hours) has an online dating profile. This is not the poor taste part. He has 3 photos uploaded, two are head shots, and the final one is of him asleep with our son his first day home from the hospital.
Here's the bad taste part, as I see it:
1. He has slammed other people for posting pics of Nelson on the internet.
2. He hasn't paid child support since Sept. 2007 for either of his children.
3. In the picture he is asleep in MY bed, wearing MY t-shirt.
He is using this pic to try and pick up chicks.
Tomorrow I will ask him nicely to get rid of it, and see if he will.
Am I wrong for thinking this is just about the epitome of bad taste, and that he should remove this picture from his profile?
Rapscallion
05-06-2009, 07:50 AM
Try complaining to the website itself?
Rapscallion
El Pollo Guerrera
05-06-2009, 07:54 AM
I gotta say, item #2 there has a certain level of douchebagy-ness to it.
If he doesn't pull the picture, maybe join and comment on his profile? (I have no idea what site it is, maybe they don't allow that... or if they do on MyBook or FaceSpace or whatever you kids use these days...)
tropicsgoddess
05-06-2009, 11:34 AM
#2 definitely is pretty assholish. I highly doubt he would pick up chicks if they knew that he hasn't paid child support in so long...
The thing that confuses me is if he does get some girl to go on a date with him, what are they supposed to do? He has no job and hasn't for over a year (barring seasonal work at Macy's) he has no car and does not drive. What is he going to do, meet her at the bus stop, go to McD's and split the check?
He's coming over today at 11 to go swimming with Nelson (well not so much "swimming" as it is "clutching Mommy for dear life even though he's wearing a floaty suit" :lol: ) and I'll nicely request that he remove the picture. If he doesn't, and won't listen to reason about it, then I may have to get nasty.
Hey, don't knock redneck dates!!
Just playing. Sad thing is, "in this economy" (DO NOT THROW ANYTHING AT ME GOD DAMN YOU), if things keep getting worse, that will be what most dates entail soon enough.
That's true enough, Blas. My point is it seems in really poor taste to be contemplating "entertaining" a lady when he can't pay his child support. Seriously, he'd need to find a lady with a hell of a high tolerance level to put up with the fact that he sees his ex and kid every day. Who wouldn't be threatened by that?
And I am just pissed that he'd try to use Nelson in any way to try and pick up chicks. That is just so sleazy to me.
You're so right, you don't even know how right you are.
Oh, and by the way, for some odd reason, single men have always been turn-ons for some women. It was on the Tyra show last week that men with kids get more attention. Uh wha? I see a guy with kids (especially one my age) and I run the other way! I guess the sight of a man with a child gives a woman hope that he has real paternal instinct and nurturing abilities.
Not much chance of that. There's a reason he's never alone with the kiddo except in dire circumstances (like when I'm contemplating abortion in my 33rd month). Even on those occaisions when all he did was take him for a walk he would call me at least twice an hour just to let me know where they were. Ummm...you're walking, exactly how far could you have gotten? It's not like I asked him to check in or suspected him of taking Nelson to the racetrack.
And he is not allowed to have Nelson in his apartment until it's cleaned to my standards. This place is a disaster for a toddler. It is seriosuly so filthy that I swear one of these times the roaches will pick up his phone and say hi.
strawbabies
05-06-2009, 05:29 PM
He sounds like a piece of work. He wants the ladies to see what a wonderful father he is--so he can eventually impregnate them and not pay child support.
AdminAssistant
05-06-2009, 10:55 PM
Yeah, if I see a guy with a kid in his profile pic, I run, not walk, in the opposite direction. I do not need the added stress of a guy with children.
Reyneth
05-06-2009, 11:26 PM
Yeah, if I see a guy with a kid in his profile pic, I run, not walk, in the opposite direction. I do not need the added stress of a guy with children.
Yup. I want kids, but I do not want a guy who already has them. I'm not ready to deal with that.
He sounds like a piece of work. He wants the ladies to see what a wonderful father he is--so he can eventually impregnate them and not pay child support.
At least he married the mother of the first one, granted not until the child was 5, but still...
I didn't even get asked.
UPDATE- The pic should already be down, there was no argument about it, but since I had to create a profile to get into matchmaker.com, he thinks I am "out there". That's exactly what he said "I'm glad you're out there."
WTF?!?!?
I am so pissed and depressed at the same time, I don't even know which way is up right now. I am not "out there" I simply did the bare minimum for grins because I couldn't sleep last night. Because I'm "out there" it makes it okay for him to go trolling for a new girl to spend his time and money on when he has such a debt to his children? Am I being cynical by noticing that he started his profile not long after I started turning him down for sex?
RANT AHEAD:
This man had so many warning signs attached to him, I kick myself for not running before I had the chance and got knocked up. This man was talking to me about diamond rings when we first started dating but even when I was PREGNANT WITH HIS KID the idea is ludicrous? He quits his job when he has a 4 month old child and that's okay?!? All I said to him about his profile (aside from the pic thing) was "good luck". Not for him, mind you, for whoever falls for his shit just like I did. And the real bitch of it is, he may have 2 kids but since he doesn't live with them or have to arrange a schedule around them, he will probably find a new SO before I do.
"Out there". Yeah. Fuck you, asshole. Now I see why his ex wife packed up her son and moved away at the first opportunity. I'm seriously considering doing the same thing.
Jester
05-07-2009, 04:08 AM
The picture thing is slightly skeezy. The really bad taste is in having two children with two women and not manning up and supporting said kids, though he has no problem visiting with them, apparently. All the benefits of fatherhood without the actual responsibility. Repulsive.
Darlin', I hope I never meet your ex. Something tells me I would have a few choice words for him and his ridiculous unemployed sperm-donating act.
It was on the Tyra show last week that men with kids get more attention.
It actually is true. Kids, like dogs, attract women. When my niece Bug was younger, and we'd be out and about, it was like a chick magnet.
So one day I told Bug's mother, Neets, that I was taking Bug out to wherever. I made some flip comment about Bug being a chick magnet (NOT the reason I was taking her out and about, mind you), and Neets looked at me and said, "Let me get this straight--you are using my child to find a girlfriend?" I asked her, "Who wants me to have a girlfriend more than Bug?" Neets thought about this for a moment, realized the utter truth in the matter, and said, "You're right. Have fun." :lol:
He wants the ladies to see what a wonderful father he is--so he can eventually impregnate them and not pay child support.
Not to be rude, but apparently that's worked for him twice already.
Not to be rude, but apparently that's worked for him twice already.
Rub it in why don't you? :p
Look, right now I'm just pissed that this whole experience has left me so damn bitter that I'm just not sure when I'll be ready to be "out there". The only decent male in my life (and within 1000 miles of Tucson) is my therapist.
That's fucked.
It's just not fucking fair that he can be so comfortable with himself after all this shit that he feels okay with trying again with someone else, meanwhile I am trying every damn thing I can just to get my head on straight.
I just keep thinking to myself that of the 2 major relationships I've had the man that wanted to marry me was a clinically insane pathological liar, and the one that knocks me up is a narcissistic fuckwad.
Do I have great taste or what?
It's not all your fault. Men and women like that prey on good people.
artifical sweetner
05-07-2009, 04:11 PM
bitter women unite!
naw. jk...but i have been that woman to pick up the riff raff with the kid n he liked to push this whole "im broke and cant afford my kid...the state wont stop bugging me bout my child support etc...BUT I LOVE HER SO ITS OK"
ulch yea glad that didnt last! hes a yucky person and i under stand how someone like that leaves you jaded :)
Primer
05-07-2009, 07:06 PM
If Jon, Ian and Craig had not sold matchmaker.com over 10 years ago, I could have had the asshole banned from there. When it was still locally owned and operated, it was a good, tight-knit social site, but now? Not so much.
Reyneth
05-07-2009, 11:19 PM
It's just not fucking fair that he can be so comfortable with himself after all this shit that he feels okay with trying again with someone else, meanwhile I am trying every damn thing I can just to get my head on straight.
But see - HE doesn't think HE has a problem or has behaved in an improper or immoral way during any of this. So why would it bother him?
You on the other hand, can be introspective and self-assessing and want to be a good person. I don't think any of us that are like that are ever complacent like the rest of the self-involved jackasses are.
taxguykarl
05-08-2009, 04:02 PM
TTAZ, was your child support court-ordered? If so, let the IRS know about his child support arrearages. They'll intercept his refund and mete it out you and any other baby-mamas he has. I have several SC tales dealing with baby-daddies who lie about being current on support and see refund amounts for a lot less than I got for them--in a couple of cases nothing at all.
friendofjimmyk
05-08-2009, 04:38 PM
Today, whilst screwing around on teh internets
Be honest, how did you stumble upon his profile?
the final one is of him asleep with our son his first day home from the hospital.
Here's the bad taste part, as I see it:
1. He has slammed other people for posting pics of Nelson on the internet.
2. He hasn't paid child support since Sept. 2007 for either of his children.
3. In the picture he is asleep in MY bed, wearing MY t-shirt.
He is using this pic to try and pick up chicks.
Tomorrow I will ask him nicely to get rid of it, and see if he will.
Am I wrong for thinking this is just about the epitome of bad taste, and that he should remove this picture from his profile?
I agree that this is incredible bad taste on his part. However, I still don't believe you should send him that letter. You do have the right to request that he takes the picture off his profile. If he doesn't, there is nothing you can do about it. Even complaining to the website won't work.
I still believe you should tell him you need sometime away, that you will give your son hugs for him everyday, and gather yourself together and regroup and come back when YOU feel right in order to work out visitation and make sure he pays child support for your child. If the other child you included in your "children" is not yours...you can't bring that up to him...it's not yours to do so.
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