industrial

[tamezin]

Ok everyone, I need some assistance, advice and answers. My 13 year old daughter wants an industrial ear piercing. While I don't have a problem with the concept, I think she is too young. She already has one nose piercing and 3 sets on her ears already. I don't even want to discuss this until she is 14, but she won't let it die, so today I told her I would set up a poll here today to get all of your opinions. She thinks I am over protective and not letting her express herself. I think I am preserving her skin and have allowed her enough expression for the moment. What do you think?

[Kiwi]

I wanted my eyebrow pierced as a teenager my Mum told me I could, when she didnt have to sign a permisson slip anymore (I was 16 when I got it). Oh and I had to pay for it myself.

My school made me take it out the first day back...so I wasted $80 for nothing. She should check if her school even allowes piercings like that.

[Shroo]

I have an industrial--it hurt like a bitch and can get infected really easily; especially if she has long hair that can get wrapped around it.
It's not a bad peircing, at all, but I think the bottom line is you said to wait until she was 14 and she needs to respect that.

[the_std]

I got my industrial when I was eighteen, and it was the most painful piercing I've gotten. It healed well, but there are many complications involved with it and double the chance for infection, because it's essentially two piercings. I found it very hard to sleep on, it was difficult to talk on the phone with that ear, I got three infections per hole in the time that it was healing, and all three were very painful and pus-y.

I don't regret getting it, I love it now, but there is no way I could have had it in high school. I think she is too young to get it. And I'm only 20 now.

[AdminAssistant]

She's 13. You're her mom. You get to decide what kinds of holes she puts in herself and how many. I'd say, yes, she's too young. Hell, I'd say she was too young for a nose ring. But, I'm pretty conservative about that kind of stuff.

[tamezin]

She's 13. You're her mom. You get to decide what kinds of holes she puts in herself and how many. I'd say, yes, she's too young. Hell, I'd say she was too young for a nose ring. But, I'm pretty conservative about that kind of stuff.

I actually agree, her Dad signed off on that one. I said she would have to wait until she was sixteen, but she has Dad wrapped around her little finger.

[AnaKhouri]

I had to look up industrial piercings. :o

I think you've allowed her to express herself a lot, a lot more than I would have! The decision is ultimately up to you. If you say no, and if she still wants it when she is of age, then that would be the time for it.

Whatever you decide to tell her, you should present her with the testimonials posted here- about the infections and the pain. She needs to be completely informed before doing something like that.

[Greenday]

I personally don't like the the looks of the them, so I wouldn't suggest getting one. But if she really wants one, and you don't want her to, she can wait until she's old enough to get one herself.

[Amina516]

I think for the age of 13 she has more than enough self expression going on..and this is coming from me, who is FARRRR from conservative or prudish.

So, tell her Amina516 says WAIT! :D

[Shards]

Honestly, I don't really understand why she's been allowed to get what she has already, then again, I'm going to be the hyper-conservative parent who tells any female offspring that they can wait until they have the cash and are of age to get any holes they want put in themselves themselves.

Plus out of all the ear jewelry I've seen, industrial have got to be the stupidest looking, and they've got a good deal of competition for that, in my humble opinion, of course.

[Kheldarson]

I don't know why it's up for debate. You said no, it's a no. End of story.

[Fire_on_High]

That looks like it could be injured really easily, and infection would be miserable to deal with.

That's a lot to take care of for a kid so young, and a lot that can go wrong.

I had a second set of normal piercings and reacted badly to the studs, cheaper than the ones used for my first piercing. They got infected super easily and it hurt like the devil, and we're just talking the boring ones a little above the normal site.

All of that aside, you said no.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I saw a picture of that kind of piercing on Wikipedia and I cringed. It looks very painful and the jewelry looks like it could easily get tangled up in long hair.

But then again I've never been into body modification anyhow.

Then I looked at some of the genital piercings and...:brainbleach:

Go figure, I've looked up penis piercings and C4 plastic explosive tonight. That would blow a few circuits if anybody were spying on my Internetz activities. :rotflmao:

[AdminAssistant]

Then I looked at some of the genital piercings

I did, too.

Owwwwwwwww.

[McGoddess09]

From a teenager's point of view, you have been more than fair. I only have two piercings, one in each ear. That's all that I can get until I turn 18 next week.

What I think you should do (but this is just me) is you should tell her that once she gets a job and can pay for it herself, then she can get it.

I wanted all sorts of piercings. Once I got a job where I currently work, I saw no need for those and I would have had to take them out anyways and waste money. It would be awful hard for anyone to take her seriously when going in for her first job, with a bunch of piercings.

I just realized, your daughter is only 4 years younger than me. She's around my sister's age!

[BookstoreEscapee]

I agree, you gave her a time when you can discuss it, and it's not for another year. She should respect that. But then, she's 13, of she's gonna argue and beg - it's what they do.

If you do decide to let her, make sure she knows exactly what to expect as far as pain and how to take care of it, and make sure she's responsible enough to take care of it.

Personally, if she were my kid, I would make her wait until she's 18. Then she's a legal adult, she can do whatever she wants. She sounds like she's got an awful lot of "self-expression" going on already. When I was 13 I had two holes in each earlobe, and that was it. Now, twenty years later, I'm down to one in each ear cuz the second set closed up.

Just looked it up...I was going to say something about if she changes her mind, how well will the ear heal up? I was thinking about the big guages (don't know if they have an actual name) that actually stretch out the earlobe, which I imagine would require plastic surgery to close up if you were to decide to remove them later. What she wants looks like it would be less problematic if she were to change her mind and remove it. But still...I'd still make my kid wait.

[AdminAssistant]

Thinking further on it, couldn't that kind of piercing mess up her ears as they grow? Yes, I know ears never stop growing, but hers are still growing pretty quickly.

[Eric the Grey]

I don't know why it's up for debate. You said no, it's a no. End of story.

Agreed. You're the Mom, and you said no. Reason enough for her to wait until she's older.



:cool: Eric the Grey

[Andara Bledin]

Earrings through the lobe are one thing. Heavy cartilage piercings at the upper ear are something else entirely.

I do have a question: Did you give dear ol' Dad whatfor about letting her go around your decree on the nose piercing?

^-.-^

[iradney]

You're the Mom. You said no, it means no. She's 13 years old, she's far too young.

[tamezin]

Earrings through the lobe are one thing. Heavy cartilage piercings at the upper ear are something else entirely.

I do have a question: Did you give dear ol' Dad whatfor about letting her go around your decree on the nose piercing?

^-.-^

Yes, which is the reason we are having the discussion now. Because he says yes and I say no.

I told her after she had her 3rd set of on her ears done that she was done for a while. She conned her Dad into saying she could have this done, and now she is trying to convince me that I should let her do whatever she wants to her body. I shouldn't be putting her through all of this.

BTW, she was the reason I put the poll up, then when she started reading some of the feed back she said everyone on this site was old and of course they are going to agree with me. So we put the same poll up on one of her sites and the feed back was even worse.

Thank you all for your help. Especially those of you who have had this done and shared your first hand experiences.

[iradney]

Old?? OLD?? I'm 28!!! I'm not old!!!! :p

I'm a Daddy's girl too, but if my mom said no to something like body modification or going out on a school night, then my Dad backed her up. Did me the world of good as well, as I quickly learnt that when someone says No, they mean NO, not "Nag a little more, and I might change my mind."

[McGoddess09]

I guess 17 is old. You should tell her how old I am and I still am not on her side. :p

[Shards]

Well, I'm only five years older then her at 18, and I think they're silly to begin with and if you want one at all you need to wait until you can pay for it yourself, if not until you're a legal adult.

Well, I guess I'm a bit more than five years older than her, since I'll be 19 the week after next, but...

[McGoddess09]

I agree with Shards. The only kids I tend to see them on are the kids that have the "Whateva. Whateva. I do what I want." attiude. Not that I'm saying your daughter has that attitude.

I remember being a young'un and wanting all those piercings. I'm so glad my mom didn't let me. Now, I think it would look silly and it would have been hard for me to get teh job I have now.

[AdminAssistant]

I remember wanting a belly button ring when I was 16. The answer was a plain, clear, resounding - NO. No discussion, end of story. Shortly after I turned 18, I had to have laproscopic surgery (gallbladder), which turned the area they normally pierce through into scar tissue. I just decided to drop it. I was in actor training at the time anyway, and piercings/tattos are big no-no's in theatre.

[Kheldarson]

I'm not old! I'm 23. And I didn't even get my first piercing until 20. And I had the money and the time to get it done for myself.

I suggest smacking Dad upside the head and telling him he's doing Daughter no favors.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

All I know is that what I thought looked good (or where my caring what I look like really applies, passable) so much as one year ago is radically different now.

(17... 18 in less than a month)

If you wait two years to get a piercing, you lose absolutely NOTHING... unless your freinds will think less of you, in which case, less judgemental freinds are in order.

End of song.

[Shards]

If you wait two years to get a piercing, you lose absolutely NOTHING... unless your friends will think less of you, in which case, less mindless "rebel" idiots as friends are in order.

End of song.

Edited for correctness. Nothing wrong with non-violent, true rebels, but if you really feel you need five new piercings to look "punk" enough for your friends, you should know that people your age thought it looked rebellious five years ago, when I was your age, too.

[the_std]

The piercing isn't necessarily to make you look "rebellious". Maybe people just like the way they look.

[Shards]

I suppose you do have a point, however, at my high school the only kids who wore them were the "rebel without a cause" type kids who just wanted to look like rebels... because rebels have a defined look that they conform to. :rolleyes:

[Greenday]

Phf, old my ass. I've been on CS since I was about 15/16 years old. I'm only 21 now. And I still don't like those piercings.

[Der Cute]

Ok, you want old? I'm 34. :P

IMO - 21 for the piercing. Being 13 - go PLAY. Go have FUN. Stop trying to fit in with people. Don't worry or be concerned about what your buddies think of you - just go out and LEARN and BE and ENJOY life. Get your shoes stained with grass and mud. Get your jeans so dirty they clog the washing machine.

When you get a job, and are over 18 - go get the piercing.

The reasoning behind my wait time is this:

You go to high school.
You want to work in Drama.
You can't wear the piercing.
OR

You graduate HS.
You want a job. - one of your first ones.
Appearance and first glance will trump your skill set and abilities - if the person doing the hiring has an issue with (let's say) anyone being Blonde Haired, they have the power to not hire them. If the manager has issues with anything being pierced - they'd hire Joe Schmoe without a piercing, before you.

Yeah. It's not fair. People make those personal, internal judgements all the time, and NEVER explain them. You can be yourself, do the right things - and still someone has you on their shit list......because THEY DON'T LIKE THE SHINY METAL THING. But they'll never tell you.

So - to be prepared for the working world, you need all the ammo you can get.
Education.
Work Ethic.
Common Sense.
Compassion.
Ability to fit in with the rest of the sheep.


If you choose to follow your own path, and tell everyone to bugger off, I will say this: IT AINT EASY. It's like pushing a boulder up a hill with a rope. You either have to have your own country, some financial backing (like rich parents or win lottery) or be willing to be shunned. Kinda extreme. But that's the way it is - if you don't fit in with the working crowd, you will be crowded out.

I speak from experience. I still have a boulder and rope and a hill, sweety. But it's not as big as it used to be.

Body mods? Put them in places that aren't visible. If you ran for government office, who would get hired? Mr. No Pierce or You? (and there are lots of votes).

Cutenoob

[Andara Bledin]

I suppose you do have a point, however, at my high school the only kids who wore them were the "rebel without a cause clue" type kids who just wanted to look like rebels... because rebels have a defined look that they conform to. :rolleyes:
There. FTFM. :p
If you choose to follow your own path, and tell everyone to bugger off, I will say this: IT AINT EASY. It's like pushing a boulder up a hill with a rope. You either have to have your own country, some financial backing (like rich parents or win lottery) or be willing to be shunned. Kinda extreme. But that's the way it is - if you don't fit in with the working crowd, you will be crowded out.
We have two guys at my workplace that have a large chunk of ink on their arms. One has a full sleeve and is working on the second, and the other is working on his first full sleeve.

The second guy was in car sales. I don't know how he planned to stay in car sales with he has planned for his tats, however, as I know that even open-minded people will make judgments against perfectly able people who make appearance-based decisions that are deemed inappropriate for the environment they work in.

The first guy, with the larger percentage of his body covered in tats, however, is working on becoming a professional photographer and artist. If you have the talent to become a professional artist, then it doesn't matter so much what you look like. Artists usually get a pass, and sometimes being more unique gives you cred. :shrug:

^-.-^