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calulu
05-29-2009, 01:29 PM
Haven't posted in awhile because it's been the same old same old and I've been struggling with my ongoing lung issues. Gotta conserve energy.

Have I stated I hate, hate,. HATE prom season and wedding season nearly as much as Valentines Day?

Prom season I hate because I have people calling up in a panic demanding a boutonniere and corsage in twenty minutes or prom will be totally RUINEDDDDDDD!! Elevenity!!11111111111!!!!!!

After explaining that if all their local florists are sold out of corsages we'd not be able to provide one either because we cannot bend the laws of time or multiple what doesn't exist I get cussed out.

The other bad prom scenario is Mom calling up a week or so in advance to order corsage/boutonniere package and saying they don't care what we send out after I spend a fruitless twenty minutes trying to get Mom to pick a flower and/or color scheme and hinting that prom is something so personal and important that Mom really should take daughter/son down to the local florist and consult the designer and the person that will actually be wearing the piece. Mom is in an ass busting hurry to get it ordered and sure enough when it arrives she calls back screaming and hyperventilating that it's ALL WRONGGGGGGGGGG! And that's why I tried to get you to go to the local florist, so you could actually get what you wanted instead of a very generic looking corsage.

My wedding hate is simpler. It usually involves an assclown like last night, someone that thinks they are a floral designer calling up and screeching that they need six gazillion roses by 3 pm the next day. After I explain we don't do bulk orders and to go to your local florist and get him to order them for you, the caller usually huffs out, well how much IS six gazillion roses. When I tell them that they are 5 dollars a stem called explodes and asks if they are made of gold. Dumbass, you are calling a retailer.......

We do no wedding anything because the prom corsage scenario is just repeated on a grander scale with wedding arrangements. If you cannot be bothered to get down to the florist and actually chose what it is that will be at your wedding you deserve whatever it is that you get.

Last night I had oodles of Prom Scenario #1 and #2 along with idiots that would not understand that they don't get anything wedding related from us and I'm not willing to give them a wholesale order at a fraction of the real price.

But those weren't even the worst two callers.

#2 on the countdown goes to a lady upset that she'd placed an online order and we called her back five minutes later to let her know that the only florist in Podunk Speenbuster, Idontknow could not get a delivery out in an hour to the funeral. She started huffily demanding we "Get offa mah funeral home website RIGHT NOW!" Apparently the funeral home has a link to our service on their website but somehow we're supposed to remove that link

#1 worst caller last night lost it and started cussing me out because....

drum roll please....


I was 'Too Cheerful'

WTF!

friendofjimmyk
05-29-2009, 01:41 PM
I was 'Too Cheerful'

WTF!

That's it, calulu - you're too fucking happy for me...get the hell off the board. :lol:

Bright_Star
05-29-2009, 01:48 PM
Too cheerfull? Would it have helped if you got on the floor twisting & turning like Curly used to do in the Three Stooges all the while going.."Wooo! Wooo! Wooo!!"?

wagegoth
05-29-2009, 06:36 PM
Have I stated I hate, hate,. HATE prom season and wedding season nearly as much as Valentines Day?

But do you hate them as much as Mother's Day? *ducks and runs*

calulu
05-29-2009, 08:45 PM
I don't hate Mothers Day. People act less insane on Mothers Day than for proms, weddings and VD Day.. Only got cursed out once during Mothers Day..

Imogene
05-29-2009, 10:37 PM
People act less insane on Mothers Day than for proms, weddings and VD Day..
*blink* There's a VD day now?
*shudders*
I'm not celebrating that'n...
*sticks out her tongue*

DGoddessChardonnay
05-29-2009, 11:07 PM
*blink* There's a VD day now?
*shudders*
I'm not celebrating that'n...
*sticks out her tongue*

So what would the proper salutation be for that particular day?

Happy Herpes?:p

Mr Hero
05-29-2009, 11:13 PM
So what would the proper salutation be for that particular day?

Happy Herpes?:p

No, because then you might offend someone who has ghonnarea (sp?).

Racket_Man
05-29-2009, 11:41 PM
No, because then you might offend someone who has ghonnarea (sp?).

NO I only have sniffilious (purposely sp)

(ducks and runs for cover at making a really bad joke

jais
05-30-2009, 01:11 AM
Please don't hate weddings! Some of us are sane. I went to a florist and told him flowers and colors I like along with a very short list of the 2 flowers I don't like. He was amazing! We deferred to the experts in every aspect minus the vows. I hate to think we are that irregular!

calulu
05-30-2009, 01:23 AM
Please don't hate weddings! Some of us are sane. I went to a florist and told him flowers and colors I like along with a very short list of the 2 flowers I don't like. He was amazing! We deferred to the experts in every aspect minus the vows. I hate to think we are that irregular!


and you did exactly what you're supposed to do, consult with your local florist and design expert. I'll bet you did it well in advance too! ;)

My daughter went to prom and she and I went to the local shop and picked the corsage flowers and ribbons and geegaws about a month before the dance. We let the designer do his magic. Paid for, ordered and anticipated in advance. The corsage and boutonniere were gorgeous and worth every penny I paid.

My hating on weddings is more hating on the last second folks that think I can fart out calla lilies mixed with roses in four hours for a wedding. It's EW people hating more than any wedding hating.

Folks that think whammo-zammo you should read their minds and instantly burp out their fantasy arrangement for peanuts ruin it for everyone.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
05-30-2009, 01:38 AM
No, because then you might offend someone who has ghonnarea (sp?).

Gonorrheal greetings?

Congratulations, you have chlamydia?

Let's all clap for the clap?

Gee golly gosh wow, genital warts?

I think I'd better stop now.

calulu
05-30-2009, 01:40 AM
Smiln' for Syphilis!

Irving Patrick Freleigh
05-30-2009, 02:26 AM
S'Wonderful
S'Marvelous
S-phillis!

EricKei
05-30-2009, 03:20 AM
S'Wonderful
S'Marvelous
S-phillis!
Ow....:devil: I'm not sure whether I should high-five you or smack you for that one.

edible_hat
05-30-2009, 07:19 AM
When I tell them that they are 5 dollars a stem caller explodes and asks if they are made of gold.

For next time - gold roses start at $50 a stem.


for my wedding flowers, we spent $80 at the flower cart at the local market and my wife and her bridesmaids did the boquets etc. themselves.