Nothing says "cool" like...

[infinitemonkies]

$2000 spinners, $3000 speakers and an after-market, poorly-installed spoiler on your 20-year-old, POS, badly-dented, probably-not-road-legal station wagon

[protege]

There are quite a few vehicles around here like that. Not sure why, but it's always some shitbox equipped with those things...which are *always* worth more than the car is :lol: It's not helped by stores like Pep Boys...which have an entire section devoted to that crap :rolleyes:

Seriously though, if I was going to tweak a car, I'd concern myself with the mechanical bits first...and worry about the cosmetic stuff later. Call it a 'sleeper' if you will. First car I had was like that. My Tercel...had been worked on by a previous owner. Someone had fitted larger rear brakes (from a Corolla), lowered it slightly, and tuned the engine a bit. Other than that, the car was completely stock. Stock-looking enough, that a few Cavalier drivers wondered what engine I was running...when I'd pull away from them :lol:

But, it doesn't surprise me. Nothing says "slow car" by a rash of cosmetic "improvements." These include those stupid wings on front-wheel-drive cars, body kits, graphics, rims, etc. Oh, and throw a large stereo in there too.

[siead_lietrathua]

Now see, i love the stupid kids in their "funky" cars. They are always looking for a race, and beating them out in my PT cruiser because they have no concept of how to take care of their engine, priceless.

[mattm04]

Or when it is a manual and they have no clue how to drive a stick or have just never maintained the car and stall in the middle of a intersection trying to look cool.:lol:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Or it's sitting up at least 3 feet high off the ground, therefore requiring a ladder to get into or out of the vehicle.

Boner points for if they've got the front driver's seat missing and they're driving from the back.:roll:

[Javarod]

What, you mean spoilers don't make a car go faster?

http://oddee.com/item_96677.aspx


Funniest pimped out car i've ever seen was back in Asbury Park, NJ. Back then i was delivering pizza, and someone pimped out... wait for it... their budget was definitely low... a Chevette. -=snickers=- Complete with a soup can exhaust... that sounded like one long fart when they accelerated. Oh, and my stock four door Sidekick could outrun them.

[blas]

Please send that memo to all the local schmucks around here who think that having a vehicle like that makes them "Teh Sexy!"

Any time I'm in traffic next to some idiot with a rice burner with a fart can muffler or a boom boom system and they try to give me that "Hey baby, look at me, I'm so cool, I'm the perfect man!" Look, I either shake my head at them or just roll my eyes at them.

Or when guys think that having a big bad loud pickup truck decked in Confederate Flag decals is sexy......don't even get me started.

[mattm04]

What, you mean spoilers don't make a car go faster?

http://oddee.com/item_96677.aspx


Funniest pimped out car i've ever seen was back in Asbury Park, NJ. Back then i was delivering pizza, and someone pimped out... wait for it... their budget was definitely low... a Chevette. -=snickers=- Complete with a soup can exhaust... that sounded like one long fart when they accelerated. Oh, and my stock four door Sidekick could outrun them.

I love the ones with the cardboard spoiler taped to the car.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I love the ones with the cardboard spoiler taped to the car.

Did they have enough sense to use Duck Tape?:p

The mental picture I've got of that is pretty damn funny . . . and that spoiler was probably flapping in the breeze until it finally blew off.:roll:

[csquared]

$2000 spinners, $3000 speakers and an after-market, poorly-installed spoiler on your 20-year-old, POS, badly-dented, probably-not-road-legal station wagon

Back in the day..
OK, where is that icon... http://www.goodwithketchup.com/a1501.gif
(Thanks NorthernZel)

I grew up in northern Illinois. Think salt.

So, you buy a 10 year old Chevy Nova for $300.00 that is being held together by the paint. So what is the first thing you do to fix it up?

You drop $500.00 on Kreger rims (don't upgrade the tires) and $200.00 on a stereo. 1980 prices.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. :lol:

Now see, i love the stupid kids in their "funky" cars. They are always looking for a race, and beating them out in my PT cruiser because they have no concept of how to take care of their engine, priceless.

The Wife does that in her Focus. She wants to be the "Little Old Lady from Pasadena."

[Nashida]

Boner points for if they've got the front driver's seat missing and they're driving from the back.:roll:

I thought these were just penis replacements. Can't get credit for something that ain't there, I say.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I thought these were just penis replacements. Can't get credit for something that ain't there, I say.

Credit my brother for coming up with that term . . . sometimes having a speech impediment can be punny.:lol:

[mikoyan29]

Or when guys think that having a big bad loud pickup truck decked in Confederate Flag decals is sexy......don't even get me started.

I wish I would have bought the bumper sticker that had the no sign going through a Confederate flag that said, "You lost...Deal with it"

[infinitemonkies]

I thought these were just penis replacements. Can't get credit for something that ain't there, I say.

That reminds me. The other morning I saw a brand new lamborghini, all shiny chrome, parked dead center over the line dividing two parking spaces. Sure enough, a 50-ish skinny bald guy, maybe 5'2" tops, gets in as I'm walking by.
Just for the bonus cliche points, he redlines the engine before dropping it in gear to do a huge tire squeal. Extra jackass points: This was at 8am on a sunday morning.

I'm not sure what the model name was, but I'm pretty sure the english translation is "compensator" :)

[WhiteRose]

i bought a car for $130, little four doored ford escort sport...purple...with a falling apart undercarriage...best car i ever owned, sadly. It would probably STILL blow these guys out of the water. EVEN in the sexy department.

[blas]

I've never been the type of girl to care much about what a guy drives....so long as he has his own vehicle....

Except of course, if he's driving a monster truck or a little penis extender, then I'll be too busy making fun of him to give him a chance.

[raw456]

Why do these wankers insists on adding spoilers to cars when they are never going to be driven fast enough to warrant it? I see lots of them over here that look like pieces of old Mechano sets stuck together and bolted to the boot.

My pet peeve though, is Pop-off valves (makes a pop.shisshh kinda sound when they change gear) sounds like the car is farting. And they have to get the revs high to make it work anyway, so here you have Mr Wanker flooring his POS down the street just to make his car fart! It's hilarious to watch:D

I have blown several idiots off at traffic lights in my older cars that looked like shit, but had it where it counts :devil:

The looks on their faces when you get to the next set of lights and they dont want to play anymore? Priceless :angel:

[crazylegs]

Pop-off valves (makes a pop.shisshh kinda sound when they change gear) sounds like the car is farting. And they have to get the revs high to make it work anyway, so here you have Mr Wanker flooring his POS down the street just to make his car fart! It's hilarious to watch:D

Heh, one chap here had his mis-set so every time it went off it sounded like a gun shot (well, to people who have never fired a weapon that is), shortly after they get pulled over by armed police! :lol:

[protege]

It would probably STILL blow these guys out of the water. EVEN in the sexy department.

There's a 1959 Radio-Flyer sitting in my garage right now. Even loaded down with tools and various car parts...I'm sure it has a higher top end than many of the "customized" rides around here :rolleyes::D

Seriously though, nearly everything they do is for show--many of the mods they perform actually *hurt* performance. By that, I mean something like lowering a car by cutting springs...with the resultant shitty handling (bouncing around) in curves. Also not helping...is ripping out the interior for "weight savings," and then slapping 200 pounds of ugly body kit and rear wing on :eek: Further, slapping on a fart can does *not* give you more horsepower--if you swap out the entire exhaust system, you might see a small gain. But, just "nipping the tip," won't do dick (pun intended!), except make you look like an idiot and annoy the shit out of other drivers.

And yes, this shit annoys me. Why? You can't even go into the local auto-parts store for certain service items (filters, oil, etc.)...yet you can go in there, and find enough shit to make your car look like a walk-on for those stupid "Fast & Furious" movies :wtf:

[mikoyan29]

There used to be a website out there where you could tally your ricer horsepower:
The fart plug easily adds 5 to 10 horsepower
Yellow wires - 20
Each Kanji Character Adds 5
Red Brakes - 10
The Wing - At least 200....

But you get the point...:)

[Bandit]

Going through WV at oh-dark-thirty, I came across a Neon with 4 grapefruit cannons on the back *and* a park bench on the trunk. :help: :jawdrop:

Gawd only knows what else was in there.

To me, the funny thing was the hood was flat. With the Neon, the base version had a flat hood. The Sport/Xpresso version with the bigger, more powerful engine had a bulge. What this idiot paid for crap would have paid for the bigger motor.

FWIW, the Xpresso was a fun car to drive. Sucked on the highways because 5th was too short, but in town and on the track, a blast.

B