View Full Version : Those darn College kids and a Pool Lady

06-08-2009, 07:56 PM
My job is very chill, most people come through have no problem with the procedure or policies. Today, I had a woman that I have only read about on threads like these! And I am still a little heated in the face. .. . but I shall save her for last. . .

Here are a few more of some of my most memorable customers;

Mr. Multiple ID
Me: I need to see some photo id please
Idiot: do you want my fake id?
Me: . . . . no thanks.

Honestly, If he had not told me that I would never have known! Then his friend comes in behind them, completely unplanned

Friend: Yo man, I haven't seen you in three years! thought you were dead!
Idiot: Hey! I just tried to show her my fake ID
Friend: Yo hook me up! where did you get one?
Idiot: Back in Massachusetts. It looks really real too!

Meanwhile, I'm standing there the whole time just watching my hope in humanity slowly diminish.

Undercover Cop
Me: may I see some photo id, please?
*hands me the card, I jot down the state and the license # as he watches*
Cop: So if I handed you my bank card you would write down my bank number?
Me: . . . . . I asked for your license.
Cop: But what if I handed you my bank or credit card?
Me: I would not accept it because I need something with a photo id. I would take a Costco's Membership card over your bank card.
Cop: damn right you will.

Disclaimer: he wasn't really a cop, just an obnoxious jerk.

Mr. Clever
Me: Ok so it is a $15 replacement fee and you can pay Cash, Check, Flex (money that you put on your card) or we can Bill your semester account.
Clever: I'll pay with my credit card.
Me: I'm sorry but we only accept cash, check, flex or we can bill your semester account.
Clever: Fine I will pay cash.
Me: Ok, you will take this (a paper he just filled out for a request of a replacement card) over to the cashiers along the right wall and pay (it will be stamped for proof of purchase). When you get back your card will be ready.
*And here is his moment of genius*
Cleaver: What if I just don't come back? How will you know I paid?
Me: I don't care, but you don't get your card until you bring back the stamped paper.
Clever: Oh. fine.

If I have access to print and activate your card don't you think I can deactivate or suspend it as well? Go ahead and steal the card, when you comeback because it's "damaged" there will already be a note on your account stating you never paid!

Small Talkers
i hate small talk. I will tolerate it every once in a while but it doesn't interest me at all. I am a huge fan of Meat Loaf (the singer, not the food, folks) and sometimes I will wear my Meaty Tee to work (we don't have a dresscode so jeans and a t-shirt are acceptable.) I love it when the older generation comes in for their pool/faculty/staff/Academy of Life Long Learning Cards and then they notice my shirt. Then I get these comments

"Aren't you too young to know who that is?"
"Do you even know what your shirt means?"
etc. . .

I am only 22 (with a classic rock soul) but I guarantee you that I probably know more than you do, geezer! Stop making assumptions because of my age! Normally it doesn't bother me but this has happened enough times that it has become irksome!

So now it is time for the POOL LADY! Oh I am excited.
At least I have calmed down a bit.

Quick Back Story: The University offers outdoor pool memberships to employees, students, and non-employee/students (Non's). We print Pool ID Cards for the Non's. However, I have never meet Tim (name changed) who is in charge of it all nor does he actually have any power over me. So this mother with two hyperactive little boys comes in for their cards and this is what follows.

I gotta give her props for trying to maintain control over her sons (between ages of 5 and 8) while carrying a conversation with me.

Lady: Tim gave me great directions to here. Next time you see him tell him thank you.
Me: Oh, ok. ( i didnt feel it was necessary to tell her that i wont see him but maybe I should have)
Lady: So we are all here today except my husband. He can't make it during the week-
Me: (I cut her off I know that was my mistake) We do have late nights where we are open until 7.
Lady: Yeah well, that wont work for us. So I brought a picture of him that you can put on the card.

*I don't know how this machines work. Maybe magic. All i do is put a blank card in at one end and a brand spanking new photo id pops out at the other. I just click print*

Me: The cardholder has to be present in order to recieve his or her card. Besides, These machines don't work like that.
Lady: I am sure they do. You can figure out how to make it possible. My husband needs a pool card and has no time to come in during your 8-5 hours.
Me: I am sorry, Ma'am, but I cannot print a card for your husband.
Lady: This is ridiculous. I want to speak to Tim!
Me: Ok. . .
Lady: Well, go get him!
Me: Ma'am, I do not work for Tim. I have never meet Tim and besides his office is across town at the pool.
Lady: You work for him you little bitch! (her kids stop running around to snicker and then start running again) Call him on the phone or whatever!
Me: Tim would not be able to help you because Tim works for a different department and he would not be able to argue with our policies (cardholder must be present to receive card) and procedures (we don't cut and paste pictures!).
Lady: Why are you being so damn difficult! Can't you see im stressed from my sons and just trying to get everything done!?
Me: I am sorry for the inconvenience
Lady: No you are not! You little brat! You enjoy making me suffer!!

She continues her little tirade filled with profanities to the point where I stopped listening. It lasted close to 10 minutes. Luckily the woman at the service desk noticed I was being verbally assaulted and called security. They escorted her and her sons out with without their pool cards. woo hoo! victory!

only a few more days and then off to Ireland!!! I hear they are very nice over there!!

thanks for letting me vent again!

06-08-2009, 08:57 PM
Lady: You work for him you little bitch! (her kids stop running around to snicker and then start running again) Call him on the phone or whatever!

Brickwall would've went up right about there, id have walked away...thats unacceptable and I doubt anyone would have faulted you. Hope you feel better!

Have fun in Ireland! Im Jealous. :D

Oh, and whats wrong with meatloaf?? MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM......lol

06-08-2009, 09:54 PM
I wanna go to Ireland.

As for bitchy lady, more patience then I have.

06-08-2009, 10:04 PM
I wanna be in Ireland...*pouts*

Incidentally, G-Radical, do you ever read the Rate Your Students blog?

06-08-2009, 10:48 PM
Brickwall would've went up right about there, id have walked away...thats unacceptable and I doubt anyone would have faulted you. Hope you feel better!

I think it was a mixture of shock and not caring. It took me a minute to realize what she was saying and by that point I knew she was in the wrong. So I figured she would wear herself out eventually.

do you ever read the Rate Your Students blog?

I'll have to look that upright away!! thanks!

06-08-2009, 11:01 PM
I neeeeeed to go to Ireland! They have rain there.

And yeah, as soon as the profanity comes out you are no longer allowed to breathe my air. Go away and come back when you've expanded your vocabulary.

06-09-2009, 03:37 AM
pool lady deserves to forget how to swim...but be saved by a fat ugly pervy lifeguard...:D

06-09-2009, 03:40 AM
OOH take me with you!

06-09-2009, 05:44 AM
I'll have to look that upright away!! thanks!


One of my must-read blogs,. though they only have light posting in the summers. The archives are incredibly amusing!

06-09-2009, 05:50 AM
She sounds like one of those wives who flip out on me because I refuse to let them use their HUSBAND'S credit card to make a purchase when he is nowhere to be seen. Yeah, no fraud for you ladies.

06-09-2009, 08:17 AM
I know some people in Cork. If you want I can get you some tipps. :)

Also, I have to mention it now that the word rock was said.


Best rock webstream ever.

06-09-2009, 08:32 AM
Re: Fake IDs

I had a guest checking in at the hotel a few weeks ago. I ask him for ID and a CC, glance at both, hand them back, start filling in his registration.
I get to the line that asks for his driver's license # (or passport #, etc. It's something we only use if a guest is paying with cash & a deposit on the room) and something in my mind goes click.

I ask if I can see his ID again, he smiles and hands it over, then bursts out laughing.

It was a realistic fake of George Clooney's driver's license. George Clooney's picture, birthdate, a Hollywood address (dunno if that was correct or not.)

My guest tells me 9 times out of 10 no one even notices, we just go through the motions without bothering to actually check anything. (Note: he didn't look anything like George Clooney.)

As it happens, I had a guest check in a couple days later with a real California license, and realized it looks nothing like the fake Clooney one, but I don't see many California licenses in this part of Canada during the graveyard shift.

06-09-2009, 09:13 AM
Sadly the Massachusetts thing is true lol I have a post on here somewhere explaning what happened but basically some idiot used the wrong ID saying that he wasn't 21 (a AZ ID) then said oops and showed a fake Massachusetts ID making him like 23. It was funny but what a moron. And I'm glad pool lady got kicked out. What a bitch.

06-09-2009, 05:53 PM
What part of ireland???