Whereupon I Almost Become...(Language)

[mikoyan29]

...a hood ornament.

So yesterday, I was at Wal-Mart with my mom. I'm driving through the parking lot and all of the sudden this bitch starts pulling out in front of me. I wasn't quite in a position to stop to let her out, so I honked. She stops, gives me a glare. I give her something read lips for back.

So I park and I'm walking towards the entrance and as I'm coming up to the place to cross, who do I almost get run over by? The same fucking bitch. She was doing the "Well, I don't feel like doing a tighter turn, so I'll cut across these hashed lines" thing. Granted, I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been, but I was hugging the parked cars and normally it's not an issue. So she gives me the hands up signal...Fucking bitch.

Okay...it's like this...when we back out of a parking spot, we make sure that there is no oncoming traffic. If it looks like they are going to stop because they want our parking spot, we continue to pull out. If not...we wait. Now, as we are driving through the parking lot, we do not act like we are out on I-94. We watch for pedestrians.

So now I know why soccer mom bitches get the 5 star safety rating...they fucking need it.

[Salted Grump]

Only time I nearly got Hood Ornamented, I had just bought a particularly hefty Axe from the local Home Hardware. The person swerved to avoid me when she noticed that I had a rather sharp chunk of metal and wood in one hand, which meant that she got off the Sidewalk too.

I put the Axe in my car, walked over to near she had parked, and politely watched the half-dozen security guards that had seen her stunt informed her that they would like to talk to her, in the company of Local Law Enforcement.


Mmm, Kar-ma.

[Crossbow]

Only time I nearly got Hood Ornamented, I had just bought a particularly hefty Axe from the local Home Hardware. The person swerved to avoid me when she noticed that I had a rather sharp chunk of metal and wood in one hand, which meant that she got off the Sidewalk too.

I put the Axe in my car, walked over to near she had parked, and politely watched the half-dozen security guards that had seen her stunt informed her that they would like to talk to her, in the company of Local Law Enforcement.


Mmm, Kar-ma.

Man, it is sooo good to see karma in action....

[blas]

I have been almost literally ran over multiple times at Wal-Mart by old people. Asleep at the wheel? Blind? So senile they don't think I'm really there? It's hard to tell.

All I know is if I'm walking up towards the entrance and I see a large car that remotely looks like a Mercury Grand Marquis or a Crown Vic or any other huge boat that old people drive that looks like a cop car, I'm booking ass into the store.

I highly doubt any of them have enough money to pay out if they hurt me. They're probably at Wal-Mart to get their $4 generic Medicaid prescription after all.

Actually, soccer moms get the vans/SUVs with the 5 star ratings mostly for their kids.....and yes, also because they want a safe vehicle to kill others with.