BigBird
08-06-2009, 06:13 AM
For the second time in as many weeks, I narrowly avoided a collision because you and a similar driver decided to switch lanes or turn without first signalling. Since, I assume, you have been issued a valid license that requires you to have a fundamental understanding of how and when to signal, I must consider other reasons why you fail to do so. Here's what I have come up with so far:
1. You are a rebel at heart and stand firm in your belief that it's nobody's business where you are going. While I support your right to "stick it to the Man," by refusing to tie your shoe laces or floss your teeth, failing to follow the basic rules of road safety is not the smartest way to go. Perhaps you could express your anarchistic tendancies by piercing your eyelids or wearing mismatched socks instead.
2. You are psychic, and choose to hone your skills by transmitting your intentions to other drivers through telepathy. Sadly, most of us lesser beings lack the mental ability to intercept your messages, so it's best if you look for another way to use your special powers. Have you checked to see if the Psychic Friends Network is hiring?
3. You are paranoid, and believe that using your turn signal will allow others to track your movements. Rest assured that we already know who you are and where you live, so any attempt to thrawt our pursuit of you and your vehicle is futile.
4. You know that you are an excellent driver, so of course you are more than capable of steering your vehicle while phoning in a Chinese takeout order and dusting you dashboard. Like most skilled multi-taskers, you realise that it is often necessary to prioritize your actions, meaning that texting your BFF about the great shoes you just bought takes precedence over alerting fellow motorists to the fact that you will have to cut across two lanes of traffic in order to make the exit ramp that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Just think of all the accidents that could be prevented if others possessed your keen driving skills!
5. You are an asshat, and your solution to dealing with other asshats is to drive as if you own the road. Sadly, this behaviour only leads to more asshattery. Instead, you could choose to set a better example by actually following the rules of the road, and prove that courtesy and driving can co-exist. Just a suggestion.
Thank you for your time. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.
Note to readers: Feel free to offer other reasons as well.
1. You are a rebel at heart and stand firm in your belief that it's nobody's business where you are going. While I support your right to "stick it to the Man," by refusing to tie your shoe laces or floss your teeth, failing to follow the basic rules of road safety is not the smartest way to go. Perhaps you could express your anarchistic tendancies by piercing your eyelids or wearing mismatched socks instead.
2. You are psychic, and choose to hone your skills by transmitting your intentions to other drivers through telepathy. Sadly, most of us lesser beings lack the mental ability to intercept your messages, so it's best if you look for another way to use your special powers. Have you checked to see if the Psychic Friends Network is hiring?
3. You are paranoid, and believe that using your turn signal will allow others to track your movements. Rest assured that we already know who you are and where you live, so any attempt to thrawt our pursuit of you and your vehicle is futile.
4. You know that you are an excellent driver, so of course you are more than capable of steering your vehicle while phoning in a Chinese takeout order and dusting you dashboard. Like most skilled multi-taskers, you realise that it is often necessary to prioritize your actions, meaning that texting your BFF about the great shoes you just bought takes precedence over alerting fellow motorists to the fact that you will have to cut across two lanes of traffic in order to make the exit ramp that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Just think of all the accidents that could be prevented if others possessed your keen driving skills!
5. You are an asshat, and your solution to dealing with other asshats is to drive as if you own the road. Sadly, this behaviour only leads to more asshattery. Instead, you could choose to set a better example by actually following the rules of the road, and prove that courtesy and driving can co-exist. Just a suggestion.
Thank you for your time. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.
Note to readers: Feel free to offer other reasons as well.