Wish Corruption! (Game thread)

[Bramble]

Granted. But it came printed in latin!
I wish I hadn't hurt myself today.

[Fryk]

I wish I hadn't hurt myself today.

Too easy! Now you're destined to hurt yourself tomorrow!!

I wish that great power didn't come with great responsibility.

[XCashier]

Granted. You now have none of the power and all of the responsibility.

I wish my apartment was larger.

[Dave1982]

Granted. You now have none of the power and all of the responsibility.

I wish my apartment was larger.

Granted. But now the rent is more than you can afford.

I wish Captain Jellico would get transferred......

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish my apartment was larger.Granted... but that's because some drunken redneck managed to crash their SUV ridiculously large Pick 'Em Up Truck into the wall of your living room, demolishing it! Enjoy your lovely new view of the great outdoors! :D

I wish for the strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference. :D

EDIT:Granted. But now the rent is more than you can afford.

I wish Captain Jellico would get transferred......HOW DARE YOU gazump me, sir?!? :mad:

It's not my fault it took so blasted long to find the quote I used for my wish. :p

[Fryk]

I wish for the strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference. :D

Granted, and now you're stuck in that Calvin and Hobbes comic forever.
(That day's comic, not the world of the strip :: P)

I wish I could remember all my really good SC stories.

[MannersMakethMan]

Granted, but the therapy you'll need to deal with them just cost you the next three years worth of pay cheques.

I wish I had a reason to go somewhere else this weekend.

[Sarlon]

granted...unfortunatly is the raw sewage plant.

I wish my bank would do what it says it will do WHEN it says it will do it.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I wish my bank would do what it says it will do WHEN it says it will do it.

Granted. It says it will empty your account tomorrow and go shopping.

I wish someone else would do what he says he will...

[Sarlon]

I wish someone else would do what he says he will...

granted...except its oppisite day.

I wish that my new computer would hurry up and get here.

[42_42_42]

granted...except its oppisite day.

I wish that my new computer would hurry up and get here.

Here you are! But the shipping company dropped it eight six thousand times so it's in two billion individual pieces.

I wish I had a piece of blueberry cheesecake right now.

[dalesys]

Here you are! But the shipping company dropped it eight six thousand times so it's in two billion individual pieces.

I wish I had a piece of blueberry cheesecake right now.
Granted! Chippendales' haunches slathered in blueberry syrup.

I wish I could find a shortest distance that wasn't a straight line.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. However, the mapmaker got drunk so you ended up with a circle and you're back where you started from.:p

I wish I had a bigger bedroom . . .

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. But now you need to buy more furniture.

I wish my life was different...

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. But now you need to buy more furniture.

I wish my life was different...Granted! You are now... the Bearded Lady at the carnival "Freak Show"! :lol:

I wish the potential employers I sent my résumé to would contact me. :(

[Nurian]

I wish the potential employers I sent my résumé to would contact me. :(

Granted! But everyone of you tells you they found someone else....and it's the same name over and over.

I wish I could get a job I liked AND could keep!

[Professional Serf]

After this free frontal lobotomy, retail will be pure heaven.

I wish my boss would spontainiously combust.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted...but the building burns down with him and you're out of a job.

I wish my mother would stop asking "What did you do today" every effing day!

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish my mother would stop asking "What did you do today" every effing day!Granted! Now she asks it every 2 HOURS like clockwork! :devil:

I wish I could do the last month over, with different choices made. :(

[42_42_42]

I wish I could do the last month over, with different choices made. :(

Granted! Now every choice you make results in things being worse than the first time around!

I wish I didn't feel like shit right now.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Now every choice you make results in things being worse than the first time around!

I wish I didn't feel like shit right now.Granted. Instead, the way you feel is rather unpleasantly like being drunk.

What's that, you ask? What's so unpleasant about being drunk?

Ask a glass of water! ;)

I wish I was a rich man, a very rich man...

[Becks]

Granted. That's now your legal name.

I wish my back didn't hurt.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now the pain has moved downward into your feet.

I wish the weather wasn't getting quite so cool at night these days. . .

[Professional Serf]

Granted, You've been moved to Yemen. Here's your burkha and the tiny room you'll be spending the rest of your life in.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted.

Ooh, hot dogs! Omnomnomnom...

I wish my dinner would cook itself.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now it's cremated. The memorial service is scheduled for Saturday afternoon at 3, after which the ashes will be scattered across Lake Erie.

I wish I didn't have to go to bed so soon tonight . . .

[XCashier]

Granted. You've now got insomnia, and you'll be up all night tonight. And tomorrow night. And the next, and the next...

I wish I won the lottery.

[Dave1982]

Granted....you've won $1 on a $1 scratch ticket.

I wish I had a Captain & Coke......

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted....but the Captain snorted all the coke so now it's just you and the Captain...

I wish I was sleeping :sleep:

[42_42_42]

I wish I was sleeping :sleep:

Granted. You're asleep and you've got Rip Van Winkle syndrome. You'll awake in a hundred years.

I wish I could afford a house cleaning service.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Your house is now empty because the crackhead down the street heard about your mess and helped you out.

Empty house= no mess:p

I wish I had a t-bone steak and shrimp scampi for dinner tonight . . .

[Crawley]

You get your T-Bone and scampi. Unfortunately it's prepared at a resturant that Gordan Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares show wouldn't touch.


I wish I had more customers with good credit here.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. You have no customers now, so therefore the issue has solved itself.

I wish I had neighbors who would actually clean up their own yards instead of letting the mess become overgrown and unsightly.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I wish I had neighbors who would actually clean up their own yards instead of letting the mess become overgrown and unsightly.

Well, here you go. Your neighbors' idea of cleanliness leads them to remove all the grass from your lawn, which is now bare dirt.

I wish I wasn't so sore from working the past two days.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. You'll be even more sore because you have to work the next two days, too.

Granted. You're asleep and you've got Rip Van Winkle syndrome. You'll awake in a hundred years.

And this is a bad thing?


I wish my vacation week wasn't over. :(

[Dave1982]

I wish my vacation week wasn't over. :(

Granted. Your vacation never ended because you never had one. Good luck explaining a full week of going NCNS. :devil:

I wish it had been nice and sunny today in NH instead of cold, dreary, and rainy.

[42_42_42]

I wish it had been nice and sunny today in NH instead of cold, dreary, and rainy.

Granted. But now you also have the swine flu so you're quarrantined and can't leave the house.

I wish my parents didn't have to go home tomorrow.


PS - BookstoreEscapee - you'd really want to wake up and everyone you love and care about are dead and gone?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I wish my parents didn't have to go home tomorrow.

Granted. They have to go right now. RIGHT NOW!!!!!

PS - BookstoreEscapee - you'd really want to wake up and everyone you love and care about are dead and gone?

OK, fair enough. I wish I could get a proper amount of sleep on a nightly basis so I am well rested every day. How's that?

[Bramble]

Granted. But you sleep straight through your alarm clock.

I wish it wasn't so dang cold.

[XCashier]

Granted. You're now on the surface of Mercury, and I guarantee you will never be cold again.

I wish I didn't have insomnia.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. You have African Sleeping Sickness.

I wish my laundry would do itself.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. You have African Sleeping Sickness.

I wish my laundry would do itself.Granted... but it made a large mess, just like a 5-year old would! Have fun cleaning it all up! ;)

I wish I was 10 years younger than I actually am.

[Dave1982]

Granted. You're frozen in stasis for the next decade. You emerge ten years older by the calendar, but with the exact same body that you went in with. Presto. You're ten years younger than you really are.

I wish for some caffeine.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now you're so buzzed you even put the Great Cornholio to shame. We don't have TP for your bunghole, though . . .you're on your own there.:p

I wish I didn't have such a crappy day at work today . . .

[Dave1982]

Granted. You didn't have a crappy day at work because the day before you were laid-off.

I wish I was a fighter pilot.

[Professional Serf]

Granted...granted, Mike Tysons shoulders aren't a very comfortable seat, and he doesn't follow directions well. Have fun!

I wish David Salmoni would knock on my door.

[Dave1982]

Granted...granted, Mike Tysons shoulders aren't a very comfortable seat, and he doesn't follow directions well. Have fun!

I wish David Salmoni would knock on my door.

Granted. He appears with a restraining order telling you to leave him alone.

I wish I hadn't been a fucking idiot last night.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. You were a celibate idiot last night instead . . .

I wish I could go to sleep earlier in the evening when I have to go in early the next day . . .

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. You were a celibate idiot last night instead . . .

I wish I could go to sleep earlier in the evening when I have to go in early the next day . . .Granted... but now you go to sleep at like 6 o'clock in the evening, and all the neighbor kids make fun of you because you go to bed so early! :p

I wish I had enough money to buy everything I want that's for sale in the dealer's room at the Baltimore Comic-Con! :(

[XCashier]

Granted, but everything you wanted has already been sold!

I wish for world peace.

[Sarlon]

granted...unfortunatly the world is now in pieces.

I wish these postcards would scan themselves to make my work go faster.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now your scans are so blurry nobody will be able to see what they are.

I wish it wasn't so dreary and cool outside.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. Now your scans are so blurry nobody will be able to see what they are.

I wish it wasn't so dreary and cool outside.Granted! You're now in the middle of the Sahara Dessert and it's the hottest, sunniest day of the year! :p

I wish it would stop raining already! 2 days in a row is quite enough for one week! :mad:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. You're now in the middle of the worst drought in the past 90 years and the ground is dry and cracking open.

I wish my neck wasn't aching right now. . .

[hinakiba777]

Granted, you are now quadriplegic and can feel nothing below your chin.

I wish had someone to go bar hopping with.

[Fryk]

Granted! Meet your wingman, Kangaroo Jack!
Well, you see, you said bar hopping, and he's a kangaroo so...

*goes and stands in a corner, dejectedly*

I wish my wife were home from work.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. She's mad cuz you didn't cook dinner.

I wish I knew what to do with my life.

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish I knew what to do with my life.Granted! Enjoy your brand-new career as... AN INFOMERCIAL SPOKESPERSON!!! :D

(What? SOMEONE has to replace the late Billy Mays! ;))

I wish I could figure out what I want for dinner. :headscratch:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. However, the dog got to it first and said it was really good.

I wish I had blue eyes

[Fryk]

Granted, now you have blue eyes... in a bowl in front of you in a pool of blood! The horror! THE HORRRRRRRRRRORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

I wish my in-laws would quit smoking

[dalesys]

Relief is yours. The fire sprinklers kicked in and they're just steaming.

I Want To Be The First Folkie In Space.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. But you never asked for a spacesuit

I wish this sickness would just go away.

[taurinejunkie]

It goes away. When the surgeons remove the affected organ.

I wish I could find people to start a metal band with.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. But stay out of the rain or you'll rust.

I wish my shows weren't on so late.

[hinakiba777]

Granted, they are now on an hour before you get up in the morning.

I wish I could visit my friends.

[Fryk]

Relief is yours. The fire sprinklers kicked in and they're just steaming.

That's not wish corruption, that's just funny :: )

And granted... four sweaty blacksmiths will be there tomorrow afternoon.

I wish I was a famous voice actor.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You are. But you now have laryngitis.

I wish every day was Christmas Day . . .

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. Now you are drowning in gift wrap and ribbons.

I wish I didn't have to pay my rent this week.

[Sarlon]

granted by now you have to pay 4 times the amount next week.

I wish the gas company would come turn on my heat. ><

[hinakiba777]

Granted, but the thermostat busts and you are stuck living in sauna conditions.

I wish I could lose some weight

[Dave1982]

Granted, but the thermostat busts and you are stuck living in sauna conditions.

I wish I could lose some weight

*strokes your cheek* "Thinner......."

I wish to see one of the few remaining Space Shuttle launches in person.

[Fryk]

And you will, strapped directly below the rockets.

I wish I was more ambitious

[hinakiba777]

Congratulations you are Julius Caeasar right before the Ides of March. Very Ambitious!

I wish I was better artist.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. Unfortunately your brilliance will only be appreciated 100 years after your death.

I wish there was better stuff on TV.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. Unfortunately your brilliance will only be appreciated 100 years after your death.

I wish there was better stuff on TV.Granted. There are now a few shows on that are actually WORTH watching, but the trade-off is that now, all the movies that come out are unoriginal crap, mostly remakes of old hits. :devil:

Wait... isn't that how things are already? :confused:

Anyway... I wish potential employers would stop blowing me off and would just hire me already! :blink:

[hinakiba777]

Granted you get hired today. But tomorrow the position will be become useless thanks to robots!

I wish Torrents would all play on my media player. Stop tricking me into buying new programs!

[Dave1982]

Anyway... I wish potential employers would stop blowing me off and would just hire me already! :blink:

Granted. "Welcome to Good burger, home of the Goodburger, can I take your order??"

I wish I was with all my friends right now.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. However, they just went offline right before you came on so you're stuck with the rest of us.:p

I wish I could be like Aunt Madea . . .

[hinakiba777]

Granted. You are now Tyler Perry in Drag. FOREVER!

I wish wearing my retainer again wasn't so painful

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But your teeth fell out and you don't have anything to chew with.

I wish I had my new glasses already

[Becks]

Granted. But they're not the type you wanted.

I wish it were spring.

[XCashier]

Granted. Now you have excruciating hay fever. :cry:

I wish I were a better cook.

[Sarlon]

GRANTED! except now no one is EVER hungry when you cook.

I wish I had the book for the worlds largest city

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Okay. In keeping with the whole "World's biggest city" theme, the book happens to be the World's largest. You need a crane to lift open the front cover and a gas-powered forklift to turn the pages.

I wish the holidays weren't staring me in the face.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. You now no longer see when a holiday is coming until it hits.

I wish could stop being such a lech.

[Sarlon]

granted...except now your lunch....damn dyeslexia.

I wish I never had another headache again for the rest of my life.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

granted...except now your lunch....damn dyeslexia.

I wish I never had another headache again for the rest of my life.

Granted. You will never have another headache for the rest of your life--because you've been decapitated.

I wish I had some candy.

[XCashier]

Granted. But it's joke candy. Enjoy the Fish, Garlic and Hot Pepper flavors! :p

I wish I had Halloween off work.

[Green_Fairy]

GRANTED!! now every kid that lives in your state is coming to your door, wanted candy and has eggs for when you run out

wishes her mtn dew wasn't watered down

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

O-tay. Your Mountain Dew is now peed down.

I wish I had tacos, so I could give taco-flavored kisses in the pervfest thread.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. BUT THEY GIVE YOU ECOLI!

I wish a cute guy would come on to me.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Hey good lookin'. Here's Smoothie D, Cute, isn't he? He's got the clap. And uncontrollable flatulence. And he throws up on you every time you talk to him.

I wish I weren't getting so tired already.

[Green_Fairy]

*hands over 20 shots of espresso* now you'll have a heart attack!

wishes her upstairs neighbors weren't so freaking loud

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! You are now stuck in a world of TOTAL SILENCE. Here come the Gentlemen!

I wish I was in better physical shape. A healthy weight for a a girl my age and height. No more anemia. And no negative affects on my mind or body.

[Sarlon]

granted! your in such perfect health...that you have to live in a bubble.

I wish I had an on call massage therapist to work on my back when ever I wanted.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But instead of a massage therapist, you have a sumo wrestler pounding you on the floor like hamburger. Hope you have a strong back.

I wish it were 75 degrees and sunny outside with a light breeze . ..

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! But you have to drive 500 miles to get to where the weather is.

I wish I didn't have a headache.

[Sarlon]

granted! you have no head!!!

I wish I hadn't eaten so much today.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. You've now picked up a stomach bug and are now puking and having diarrhea. Feeling full is the last thing on your mind now.

I wish I could turn back time about 25 years or so . . .

[XCashier]

Granted. But now you're stuck wearing the tackiest fashions of 1984 (http://coutureallure.blogspot.com/2009/08/passion-for-london-fashion-1984.html)!

I wish I weren't so scatterbrained lately.

[Sarlon]

GRANTED!!! now your fixated on one thing and one thing only....that spot on the wall just above your bed.

I wish I could go on a half decent date every now and then.

[XCashier]

Granted. Your date is half decent, and half lunatic.

I wish I had a nice, cold Pepsi.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. Your fired from your job. Your severance package is a perfectly chilled can of Pepsi.

I wish I knew what was causing the smell in my suite so I could destroy it.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Granted. It's you. Nice knowing you. :p

I wish I wasn't sick-ish during a week we're taking three trucks.

[Becks]

Granted!! There will be an added bonus of 5 trucks!!!

I wish the laundry was done already.

[Plaidman]

Granted, but they all fell in a mud puddle.

I wish that I had a skill.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! that skill is being the best cave lint (http://www.caves.org/grotto/timpgrotto/Lint%20Camp.html) cleaner ever!

i wish had a fondue pot

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! But you are now allergic to chocolate and Cheese!

I wish Gargoyles was a TV show again

[Sarlon]

.....granted....except its....(ah crap I don't have the heart to corrupt it...I LOVED that show....)

I wish all my work was already done so I could get paid my normal rate.

[dalesys]

A BOGO...I wish Gargoyles was a TV show again

...I wish all my work was already done so I could get paid my normal rate.
Granted. The Creative Director is Stephanie Meyer.
Granted. Normal has been redefined as pesos just for you.

I wish my kids would call me.

[XCashier]

Granted, but you really don't want to know what they call you... :eek:

I wish I was over this cold.

[Plaidman]

Granted, but now you have a flu.

I wish I could sing like Neil Patrick Harris.

[Green_Fairy]

granted, but now NPH is tone deaf. and so are you. congrats. :D

i wish i knew a good place to hide her body :devil:

[McGoddess09]

Granted, but you buried in in front of the police station. Hello jail!

I wish it were Friday already so I can see my family.

[Sarlon]

granted...except now its friday of next week and you missed the trip.

I wish my blood sugar numbers would stop flucating.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! It is now constantly at 200 mg/dL

I wish cooking supper didn't take so long.

[Dave1982]

Granted! It is now constantly at 200 mg/dL

I wish cooking supper didn't take so long.

Granted! Dinner is ready in 3 minutes, but it tastes terrible.

I with this sudden pain I got hadn't killed my buzz. :cry:

[Green_Fairy]

granted! now you're in pain and you're buzzin. it's really not a fun combination...

i wish The Boy's ex would just sign the damned papers already!

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! But they accidentally get shredded and new papers can't be drawn up for a year.

I wish I could be in a relationship with my friend David.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but now it's a hate/hate relationship...aw...sad...
(silly! just talk to him about it. maybe he's diggin on you too ;) )

i wish i could knit faster

[Sarlon]

GRANTED!!! you now knit at warp speed...shame your work sucks!

I wish my headaches owuld go away

[Green_Fairy]

granted! now you feel no pain. ever. for any kind of pain. so you don't know when your arm was accidentally chopped off...hm.

i wish my coworker would be fired

[Sarlon]

granted!!! except now only YOU can do his work, your work, and 3 others they just let go. :wave:

I wish dinner would hurry up.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Your supper is now ..BURNT!

I wish I had more grocery money


(silly! just talk to him about it. maybe he's diggin on you too ;) )
He is. But he lives too far away to date me. So he decided to go off and fall in love with someone else. True Story.

[McGoddess09]

Granted, but now you can't buy new clothes for a while.

I wish this current stress I am feeling would go away.

[Sarlon]

granted!!! now you feel ALL the stress from past present and future!

I wish it was dinner time already so i could over indulge in chocolate. (and god I don't care if I get sick from all the chocolate.....4 words....7 layer chocolate cake)

[trailerparkmedic]

Dinner's ready, but I already ate all of your cake. (How could I not??)

I wish school would give me a major, any major, so I can sign up for classes.

[hinakiba777]

You get an English Major with a focus in Tolkein Literature. All your courses are in Elvish. :D

I WISH I WASN'T SICK. it's been all week.

Granted, but now you can't buy new clothes for a while.


...that's just normal.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you'll just be waaaay sicker next week.

I wish my stomach and my brain would communicate so i'd stop at a reasonable amount...instead of eating a whole pizza cuz "i'm sooo freaking hungry nom nom nom" then have major stomach pains once they start talking...an hour later. bah.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! However they only argue. You become to confused to eat and starve.

I WISH I HAD MORE ORANGE JUICE!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. You are now swimming in the stuff!

I wish my mouse pointer wasn't blinking...:confused:

[hinakiba777]

Granted! It's now gone invisible! (Happens to me sometimes. Try annoying)

I wish I could be an extra on the Show Supernatural.

[McGoddess09]

Granted! However, you are a monster or spirit they kill. (I would love to be ones of those girls on the show :p )


I wish the month of March would get here!

[SteverinoNY]

Granted...only if I can find enough energy to power my flux capicitor for my time machine *where oh where can I find 1.21 gigawatts of electricity*

I wish I could have been at the Yankees parade today to celebrate their 27th World Championship

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You fall down in the street and get trampled by the whole parade. No one notices you.

I wish I had more confidence

[Dave1982]

Granted! You fall down in the street and get trampled by the whole parade. No one notices you.

I wish I had more confidence

Granted. You're so confident you believe you can leap tall buildings in a single bound.....*SPLAT!!!*

I wish I had some fresh limes.

I wish I could be in a relationship with my friend David.

Hey, here I am! :p

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! They get squirted in your eyes.

Hey, here I am! :p

I said FRIEND :p

[BookstoreEscapee]

I wish hina had made a wish...

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! I WISH BSE's LIFE WAS GOING BETTER! :D

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! (No corruption - I'm not giving anyone a chance to screw that one up!!)

I wish the library had the other book I want to look at.

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! But someone else always has it checked out.

I wish I understood how to put on eyeliner perfectly.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but you have no eye-liner...aw.
(the only thing i can suggest is practice, practice, practice. and youtube videos.)

I wish i had a new computer that didn't need tape to hold parts on...

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! Here is your Brand New ENIAC (http://users.cs.dal.ca/~jborwein/eniac.jpg)

I wish my boots didn't injure my legs.

[BookstoreEscapee]

GRANTED! But someone else always has it checked out.

Damn you! The one they should have had wasn't on the shelf! It's all your fault!! *shakes fist*

I wish my boots didn't injure my legs.

Granted...you don't have boots anymore!

I wish I had a puppy.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! He piddles on your floor, you slip, and become a quadriplegic.

I wish you knew how much I love you.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! now he knows and finds it really creepy. hellooooooo restraining order!

i wish i had new pants...

[XCashier]

Granted. They're five sizes too small and four inches too short, but hey, they're new!

I wish there was an easier way to make a living.

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! You now make money on your back.....;) You know what I mean.

I wish I could just destress.

[Dave1982]

I wish I could just destress.

Granted.......:cheers:........:drink:........http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/7862/dtujufi9.gif........ :muya: ........ :bounce:........:sleep:........http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/8568/hungover.gif........:puke:


:devil:


I wish to know the meaning of life.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But you're not alive anymore to enjoy it.

I wish I had a fire pit out here to knock the chill off the air . . .

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! But you have no matches, lighters, flares, wood, etc.

I wish I could jump Xarlaxas' bones. (excited to see the corruption on this)

[XCashier]

Granted. But there's nothing left of him but bones. Have fun jumping on his dry, bleached skeleton... :eek:

I wish there was a good Sci-Fi fan club out here.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO JOIN! *runs off lightsaber laughing*

I wish I could prove Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine are "together"

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO JOIN! *runs off lightsaber laughing*

I wish I could prove Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine are "together"GRANTED! They have now gotten "together" to plot their revenge on YOU! Prepare to be punk'd! :p

I wish I was filthy rich! (Wonder how someone's gonna corrupt this one? ;))

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. You now live in a muddy swamp and your name has been legally changed to Rich.

I wish I was somewhere else.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. You now live in a muddy swamp and your name has been legally changed to Rich.:roll:I wish I was somewhere else.Granted. You're now at the King's Dominion amusement park in Doswell, VA! Too bad they're closed right now! :p

So, my name's Rich now, eh? Well, in that case, I wish I was Richie Rich! :D

[Green_Fairy]

granted! you are now richie rich. and bankrupt.

i wish i could afford to go to school. and school didn't suck as much.

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! You get to go to Hogwarts on a scholarship. However, a Basilisk kills you and you are stuck living in the girl's washroom forever.

I wish I would have gone to bed earlier

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish I would have gone to bed earlierGranted... you were sent to bed without supper! :p

I wish the rain would go away now.

[XCashier]

Granted. The rain is gone forever. Enjoy the parched, dusty wasteland your hometown becomes. :devil:

I wish Black Friday was over and done with.

[dalesys]

Granted: The power was out all day, so to catch up they're adding Black Saturday, Sunday & Monday.

I wish I could be enthused about commuting 115 miles to my job site tomorrow (not to mention the return trip... Slow Cows On Road???)

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You are so enthused about the drive that you don't stop at the worksite, you just keep going until you run out of gas.

I wish I could have gotten Chinese food

[Dave1982]

I wish I could have gotten Chinese food

Granted, but they put in far too much MSG, so you spend the next several hours feeling disoriented and stoned, but not in a good way.

I wish my friends weren't all ill so I could party with them.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! now you're the ill one...

i wish work tomorrow will be awesome!

[dalesys]

Granted: The entire day consists of: “Aw, some of those:eek: came in” and “Aw! some more of them:cry: want Big Macs!”

I wish I knew what to give my nephew for his wedding tomorrow. (Friday the 13th)

Granted! You are so enthused about the drive that you don't stop at the worksite, you just keep going until you run out of gas...
Gee thanks, hinakiba777. Use Google maps for a trip from Sandy, UT to Callao, UT... That big gray area is a bombing, gunnery and artillery range, so I didn’t run out of gas...:smash:

I got most of the way across before the Error Farce:pigfly: said “Look! A scurrier for us to blow up!”:shitfan:
:flame:They got the car, but I managed to E&E:runaway: to my cousin’s ranch. If the leftovers of the Wild Bunch could hideout here, so can I.:ashamed:

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You know EXACTLY what to give your nephew. But you have no idea where to get it.

I wish my dishes were all clean.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! they're so clean, everything you try to put on/in them, slips right out

i wish i find the perfect car insurance company

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But they went bankrupt yesterday.

I wish my bones weren't creaking and squeaking today . . .

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. But they went bankrupt yesterday.

I wish my bones weren't creaking and squeaking today . . .Granted... but now they'll be creaking and squeaking all weekend... STARTING TOMORROW! :devil:

I wish I could figure out what I want to fix for dinner. :headscratch:

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You decide to make home made sushi, and give yourself food poisioning.

I wish I didn't have to clean up.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Burglars came in and cleaned you out so now you have an empty home

I wish these soap operas would have more realistic storylines instead of the constant partner-swapping and infidelities they're relied on for years . .

[hinakiba777]

Granted. However you begin to notice all the actors act like you and your friends and family. EXACTLY like them.

I wish cooking was faster.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but now you've burned everything

i wish The Boy knew what he wanted to do when he gets out

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now The Boy isn't going to do anything.

I wish I could have more hours in a day today . . .

[hinakiba777]

Granted You get 8 hours added to today. You spend them in bed, and get nothing accomplished

I wish I had animal empathy

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. You just don't have any for humans now.

I wish I could have my cake and eat it too. . .

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish I could have my cake and eat it too. . .Granted, but it's a big ol' shit cake... enjoy! :D

I wish I could be somebody other than me. :blink:

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You are Charles Manson!

I wish I leaved in the campus apartments, instead of residence

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But you weren't there long before the jock fraternity burned their house down during a drunken orgy and threw you and all the other residents out and you're now stranded in the gymnasium.

I wish I had nine lives like a cat does . . .

[XCashier]

Granted, but you have to be a customer service worker and stone broke through all of them... :cry:

I wish my sore throat would heal.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. Now the soreness has taken up residence in your lower back. Be careful with bending and coughing at the same time . . .

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner . . .:p

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted! Watch out for this guy (http://ihasahotdog.com/2007/12/24/i-has-a-hot-dog-2/)...

I wish my laundry and shopping would do themselves while I sleep.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But they had help from the Travelocity gnomes and now your underwear is visiting Bangkok while your groceries are somewhere close to Helsinki. Keep an eye on the mail - you may see a postcard.

I wish I didn't have to battle the vacuum cleaner today . . .

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! Watch out for this guy (http://ihasahotdog.com/2007/12/24/i-has-a-hot-dog-2/)...

I wish my laundry and shopping would do themselves while I sleep.Granted, but that's because the War Against the Machines has begun, and the machines are winning. Watch out for those pesky Hunter Killers! :p

I wish I could just disappear. :beam:Granted. But they had help from the Travelocity gnomes and now your underwear is visiting Bangkok while your groceries are somewhere close to Helsinki. Keep an eye on the mail - you may see a postcard.

I wish I didn't have to battle the vacuum cleaner today . . .GAH! Gazumped!!!! :banghead:

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You were never born. But now you have to cycle through what the world would be without you until you decided you want to live.

I wish we could have a party.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But the Internet went out, so we're all kicked offline.

Bummer. That would have been one helluva party, too.

I wish the chicken casserole would put itself together and jump into the oven.

[Food Lady]

Granted. It jumped too high and hit the stovetop. Have fun cleaning the floor.

I wish the guys who like me were guys I'd want to date.

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish the guys who like me were guys I'd want to date.Granted, but in order to make that possible, doctors had to remove your original female brain, and replace it with one that's able to think in a more logical, rational way... i.e. a MALE brain. Now you're looking for a doctor to perform the sex change operation! :p

I wish I was Valentine Michael Smith (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine_Michael_Smith), so I could have the power to just will myself to die when I decide my time has come.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but someone shoots you before you decide it's your time
(i have been meaning to read that book for years but haven't decided if it's worth it)

I wish i had a zamboni

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. But the ice melted.

I wish my laundry would dry faster.

[Jack T. Chance]

granted! but someone shoots you before you decide it's your timeSuits me fine. At least then I wouldn't have to worry about trying to find a job in a job market where NO ONE wants to hire me. :blink:
(i have been meaning to read that book for years but haven't decided if it's worth it)I was given the Original Uncut Version (http://www.amazon.com/Stranger-Strange-Land-Robert-Heinlein/dp/0441788386/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258329898&sr=1-1) as a gift back when it first came out in hardback, which was... oh, 18 years ago or so. God I feel old. :(

Anyway... I've only read it once (it is a LONG book in the uncut form) and I liked it. But then again, Heinlein is one of my favorite science fiction authors, so I've enjoyed everything I've read by him.I wish my laundry would dry faster.Granted, but now you need a new dryer, because the current one burned itself out working that hard! :p

I wish the Powers That Be would cast their evil gaze on someone other than me for awhile. :blink:

[hinakiba777]

Granted! The gaze is cast on all who you hold dear, and they know it's all your fault.

I wish that I could get to bed at better times.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But the better times ran out yesterday so you're stuck with the sucky times.

I wish I could find some new pink wineglasses that aren't so expensive.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. But the better times ran out yesterday so you're stuck with the sucky times.

I wish I could find some new pink wineglasses that aren't so expensive.Granted! But they're sized for Barbie dolls, so... don't know how much use they'd be! :p

I wish I wasn't so bored right now.

[Kirkygirl]

Granted. You are now so busy that you never have any time to be bored and eventually end it all by suicide.

I wish that I had more motivation to finish my school projects and homework.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But all you want to do now is study so you lose your job and all your friends.

I wish I didn't have to clean my room

[Green_Fairy]

granted! but now you don't have a room...

i wish my lips weren't blistering due to my new awesomely colored lip stain

[Jack T. Chance]

granted! but now you don't have a room...

i wish my lips weren't blistering due to my new awesomely colored lip stainGranted... they've now fallen completely off, making you look like Sinestro Corps member Karu-Sil (http://www.dcuguide.com/glcorps/profile.php?name=karusil)! :p

I wish I could make up my mind what to do about the thing I'm thinking about.

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! But your decision is as vague as your wish so you don't really know what you chose to do.

I wish my friend would come with me on my wal-mart trip

[Green_Fairy]

granted! and you both got hit in the parking lot. suck!

i wish i had the motivation to work out

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. But you sadly wrenched your back to the point where you're now in traction.

I wish it were already Wednesday and I was off work . . .

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! But you have a horrible fall Tuesday night, and you will spend all of wednesday in the ER.

I wish the net here worked faster.

[XCashier]

Granted. It's now going so fast it's nothing but a blur of colors and sounds and flashing lights, which makes you extremely dizzy and gives you a headache.

I wish the economy would improve very soon.

[Green_Fairy]

granted. the economy's fantastic. there's world peace. no one's starving. everyone's loving thy neighbor. then december 21,2012 hits and the world blows up. aww...

i wish i could quit you...

[hinakiba777]

Granted. But you were talking to oxygen. You stop breathing and die painfully

I wish everyone could have uncorrupted wishes. ^-^

[Sarlon]

granted! unfortunaly you brok the game!

I wish that I could meet the REAL Mark Harmon and Micheal Weatherly...alive preferablly

[Green_Fairy]

granted. 'cept they're zombies...

i wish th thing i want to happen would happen...

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. But the other thing doesn't.

I wish the radio reception was better around here...

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish the radio reception was better around here...Granted, but now your neighbors play theirs at a ridiculously high volume ALL NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT! :p

I wish I wasn't such a pathetic loser. :ashamed:

[hinakiba777]

Granted. Now you can't lose, but everyone thinks you are extra pathetic.

I wish I could be a mangaka.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. Now you can't lose, but everyone thinks you are extra pathetic.Yeah, that would be just as bad. :pI wish I could be a mangaka.Granted. But nobody likes your manga, and it gets canceled after only 2 issues. So sorry! :D

I wish I could hit the "Reset" button on my life, and start over. :blink:

[hinakiba777]

Granted. You reset to a really horrible home life with parents who hate you, and not enough good food.

I wish I was a super Heroine. AND THAT NO ONE MAKES A DRUG JOKE ABOUT MY WISH>

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Okay. You have become Really Really Flatulent Girl.

I wish I didn't have to work until 8 tonight and come back in at 5 tomorrow morning.

[McGoddess09]

I wish I didn't have to work until 8 tonight and come back in at 5 tomorrow morning.

Granted. You have to work til midnight and go back in at 3.

I wish it was Thanksgiving weekend.

[Food Lady]

Granted. You have to work til midnight and go back in at 3. I wish it was Thanksgiving weekend. It's Thanksgiving Weekend 1973, and you don't exist.

I wish I had pizza right now.

[Dave1982]

Granted, but it's triple anchovy, is stone cold, and was made by a chef from a Chinese restaurant who has no clue how to make a pizza.

I wish that Snow Leopard would just install on my netbook without forcing me to jump through hoops.

[Pimp Chickens]

I wish that Snow Leopard would just install on my netbook without forcing me to jump through hoops.

Granted, but then tomorrow a new better and really expensive version comes out making the one you just installed pitiful and obsolete.


I wish for a green van with a novelty horn that yells, "HULK SMASH!" when I beep it.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. It installs smoothly, but you spill soda all over the monitor and it breaks.

I wish that my H1N1 shot wouldn't hurt.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. It installs smoothly, but you spill soda all over the monitor and it breaks.

I wish that my H1N1 shot wouldn't hurt.Granted! Now you feel NO pain at all! This becomes a problem when you break your ankle and don't realize it. :p

I wish I had the power to make the people in my life tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help them God. :blink:

[hinakiba777]

Granted. No one can lie. Not even the nice ones. It turns out everyone really hates you, but were trying to spare your feelings.

I wish I had ordered a bigger pizza

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. No one can lie. Not even the nice ones. It turns out everyone really hates you, but were trying to spare your feelings.

I wish I had ordered a bigger pizza
Granted! You just ordered the Super Duper Party Pizza, big enough for 20 people! Have fun eating leftover pizza for the next week! :D

I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off...

[XCashier]

Granted. You are a neutron bomb. And the world has just declared peace and the nations are dismantling their bombs. Rest in pieces. :devil:

I wish I knew what to get everybody on my list for Christmas.

[Dave1982]

Granted, but everything on your list is either hideously expensive or forever out of stock.

I wish my coworker's douchebag brother hadn't bailed on picking her up tonight, forcing me to drive her home and throwing a monkey wrench into my plans for the evening.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted, but everything on your list is either hideously expensive or forever out of stock.

I wish my coworker's douchebag brother hadn't bailed on picking her up tonight, forcing me to drive her home and throwing a monkey wrench into my plans for the evening.Granted, you chose to leave her stranded and she had to walk home. Now you're officially on her "Shit List"! :p

I wish I was a sacrifice, but somehow still lived on...

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You are Prometheus!

I wish the pain from my H1N1 shot would go away. :cry:

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! You are Prometheus!

I wish the pain from my H1N1 shot would go away. :cry:Granted! *stomps on hinakiba's foot with the heel of his boot!*

Now, see there... your arm doesn't hurt anymore now, does it? :devil:

I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds, for 50 million hands upraised and opened toward the sky...

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Granted. You've just been buried 30 feet deep in an avalanche though, so now those hands are aimed downward to dig you out.

Why is it nobody likes cold turkey?

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted. You've just been buried 30 feet deep in an avalanche though, so now those hands are aimed downward to dig you out.

Why is it nobody likes cold turkey?'Cause turkey's best when it's hot & juicy, and covered with gravy! NOM NOM NOM!!! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v148/JackTChance/Smilies/YahooDrool.gif

BTW, you didn't make a wish! :p

I wish I was a sailor with someone who waited for me...

[hinakiba777]

Granted! But someone told her you died, and she dove off the Widow's Peak to her death.

I wish things ran smoother.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! But someone told her you died, and she dove off the Widow's Peak to her death.

I wish things ran smoother.Granted! Tomorrow morning when you wake up, you'll discover that overnight, the sky decided to spit industrial-grade lubricant all over EVERYTHING! Roads, sidewalks, driveways... have fun going out of the house! :wave:

I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good...

[hinakiba777]

Granted! Tomorrow morning when you wake up, you'll discover that overnight, the sky decided to spit industrial-grade lubricant all over EVERYTHING! Roads, sidewalks, driveways... have fun going out of the house! :wave:

They way my school is set up I never actually have to go outside. It's all connected with skywalks and stuff

I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good...

GRANTED! But as their is no bad news. No one can die, there are no miscarriages. The world becomes overpopuated, but every thinks it's a good things because all the new is good.The earth spins off into the sun and we all die. GOOD NEWS!

I wish Jack could actually be a Green Lantern. :D

[Green_Fairy]

granted! 'cept jack dies doing some superhero thing. aw...

i wish i knew exactly what to buy everyone for christmas, i had enough money, i knew where to get it all, and the stores are in stock.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You get mugged in the store parking lot and murdered.

I wish I had a cup of hot chocolate. Not poisoned, not too cold, not so hot I burn myself, not badly made. Just a nice pleasant cup of creamy hot chocolate.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! You get mugged in the store parking lot and murdered.

I wish I had a cup of hot chocolate. Not poisoned, not too cold, not so hot I burn myself, not badly made. Just a nice pleasant cup of creamy hot chocolate.Granted! :D

Too bad the mug it's in has a leak in it! :p

I wish I was an alien, at home behind the sun...

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. But the sun's about to blow...

I wish it wasn't so farking cold in here!

[dalesys]

Granted: The liquid hydrogen tanker passing by cracked and spilled on you, so the cold is way past farking. (-423F, -253C)

I wish I could meet Lazarus Long.

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You met him in 1918 when he is 6. Sadly you catch Spanish Influenza and die painfully. In all his 2000 years of life, he doesn't remember a thing about you.

I wish I was cookie!

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! You met him in 1918 when he is 6. Sadly you catch Spanish Influenza and die painfully. In all his 2000 years of life, he doesn't remember a thing about you.

I wish I was cookie!Granted! But now Cookie Monster wants to eat you!

...Interpret that any way you wish. :devil:

I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on...

[hinakiba777]

GRANTED! But you break off the key and I lose you in a gutter. :(

I wish only for your happiness.

[Jack T. Chance]

GRANTED! But you break off the key and I lose you in a gutter. :(Well, that explains why I woke up in the gutter! :lol:I wish only for your happiness.Granted! And I ain't jinxing that one! :p

I wish I had a Chevy Corvette Z06... A REAL, DRIVABLE ONE, NOT THE 1:18 SCALE DIE-CAST MODEL OF ONE I CURRENTLY OWN! ;)

[hinakiba777]

Granted! It gets stolen and brought to a chop shop before you can insure it.

I wish it was easier to get to bed at night.

[Jack T. Chance]

Granted! It gets stolen and brought to a chop shop before you can insure it.

I wish it was easier to get to bed at night.Granted! You now sleep on a futon in your living room! So, when you're ready to go to bed, you just flip the back down and there you go, you're in bed! Sadly, your room mate has a habit of walking through the living room every couple of hours and making lots of noise, so you get very little sleep! :p

I wish I was the full moon shining off a Camaro's hood...

[hinakiba777]

Granted. But you only get to do it once a month and sometimes there are clouds.

I wish it was just Jack and I going back and forth.

[Green_Fairy]

granted! oh wait...mah bad :devil:

i wish my neighbors weren't so loud

[Plaidman]

Granted, but their now your roommates with same noise level.

I wish my cat wouldn't snub me any more.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Granted. Now she loves you so much she spends all day clinging to your head.

I wish I could have kept the kitty they found in the trailer yesterday at work.

[hinakiba777]

Granted. You brought the kitty to work, but a coworker also brought a rescued puppy to work. Things did not end well.

I wish you a Merry Christmas

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'M JEWISH**!!!! WHY DO YOU DISCRIMINATE AGAINST US NON-CHRISTIANS??!!!!

I wish I didn't have a headache starting...




(**not really :p)

[Jack T. Chance]

I wish I didn't have a headache starting...Granted... it's been replaced by a backache. Have fun with that. :devil:

I wish I didn't have to wait until MARCH to find out what happens next on the new version of V. :blink:

[hinakiba777]

Granted! You don't have to wait until March. You have to wait until May!

I wish I knew what was going to happen next on Supernatural.