I hate my life

[Eireann]

I got news recently that my mom is going downhill rapidly. I just got back from a long trip, and I don't have the money to go out and see her. I've been calling every day. I can't stand what is happening to her. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's five years ago, and Mom has always believed anything bad anyone said about her, so it doesn't matter if the diagnosis is correct or not; what matters is, she believed it. So we don't know how much time is left.

My long trip was truly incredible. I was surrounded by friends and love and support. I stayed with a friend, who said, "It's like a slumber party!" We stayed up late and watched movies and TV. It was the best holiday season I've had in years; maybe the best I've ever had.

Now I'm back at work, at a job I hate. My mom's health is growing worse. My landlord and landlady live directly above me, and they thump all over the place, which resonates in my apartment; even worse, they have a daughter who loves to run around and scream on a near-constant basis. I can also hear their TV when it's on. Oh, and the neighbors (just on the other side of my living room wall) love to crank up whatever they're watching or listening to, so I get that going on, too. No peace and quiet, unless everyone is gone.

Last night, I decided to take a bath. As I was undressing, I realized I wasn't wearing my bracelet. I distinctly remember wearing it yesterday. I looked on the nightstand, where it would be if I'd forgotten to wear it. It wasn't there. I look through my pockets, my coat pockets, my coat sleeves, in my gloves, all over the bed - nothing. Today, at the office, I looked everywhere, and finally ransacked my bag. It's gone.

I asked one of the women to call the lost and found at Prague city transit for me, and ask if anyone had found the bracelet. She agreed, but - "Oh, if anyone found it, they're not going to turn it in. It's lost."

I had to leave the room, sit on the stairs and cry. I am SO SICK AND TIRED of these fucking negative comments! When I needed to waterproof my shoes, I bought some environmentally-friendly waterproofing. I told a friend about it. He said, "I tried something like that once. It didn't work."

I told someone else how I hate working where I'm working, and how I need a different job. He said, "In this economic climate, there aren't many jobs."

Yeah. How supportive! How warm and caring! Thanks a WHOLE FUCKING LOT for your help, people! How about a big dose of SHUT THE FUCK UP??????

God, you'd think people would stop to THINK about it, first. "I'll help you, but it's useless."

"That stuff doesn't work."

"You can't find a job right now."

As if I don't have enough on my mind now.

Another thing that really pisses me off is that the lady who called the lost and found, acted as if I had done something wrong by leaving the room after she made her uncalled-for remark. She seems to think that I'm overreacting. The bracelet isn't of huge monetary value, but I love it, and I've only had it about a month. And it's just the last snowflake in the avalanche.

[HYHYBT]

All right, if it helps: "Everybody turns over everything they find to Lost & Found, every product you see advertised does what it claims and more, and right now available jobs are plentiful, high-paying, and stress-free." :)

In all seriousness, sorry about your mom. When you've got something like THAT to deal with, everything bad seems worse. It *will* get better. There may even come a time when you'll again be glad to find out a waterproofing product doesn't work *before* you get wet feet.

[Evil Queen]

And your friend used the water-proofing stuff wrong. My cousin uses an enviromentally friendly water proofing goop. She says it works.

[Eireann]

Yeah, mine worked, too. I don't know what brand he used, but he bought the wrong kind.

My coworker thinks it's just the funniest thing on earth that I'm upset over the loss of the bracelet, and that I'm trying to get it back. Yes, she thinks it's funny, and she laughed at me. She told me I'll never get it back. I said bluntly, "I don't want to hear it."

She kept on laughing. I got up to leave the room. Again. She said (at least, I think this is what she said, "What's wrong with you today?"

Oh, gee, I can't imagine. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell that I'm telling her the deeper problems in my life. She'd probably laugh herself into splitting all her abdominal muscles. She should rent herself out to funerals. Or the ongoing search for corpses in Haiti. I'll bet they'd just LOVE her sense of humor there.

On a brighter note, I met a woman today who was very nice, warm, and supportive; it was EXACTLY what I needed to offset a truly shitty day. We exchanged business cards. She's opening a thrift shop. I'm looking for work in other areas. It was a huge help.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I lost a ring at work once...it was just something I bought myself while on vacation on Cape Cod, like 5 bucks. But I liked it, and when I lost it, I was already having a bad day and I was over-tired, so when I realized it was gone, I cried. (I believe it went into the dumpster when I was throwing out a cart full of magazines. By the time I realized it was gone there was no way to go digging in there.)

How far away is your mom?

:hug:

[Evil Queen]

*snugs* I'm sure someone will turn your bracelet in. :) Not everyone is a big meanie head.

Take my last birthday for example; RetailWorkhorse and I went up to check out some runes north of Albuequerque with our parents. We had Dad (who was driving) pull over so we could get some pictures of the scenery. RW looks down to find a very nice, expensive camera. So we pick it up, discuss keeping it and wind up turning it in to the Visitors Center. We got a picture of the two of us on their camera with a note ("We Found Your Camera!") and our email addresses. They emailed us their thanks and I had a short conversation with them. It turns out they live in a small town in GA where I have family. They were very happy to get their camera back since it had pictures of them and their grandkids.

Don't worry, you'll get your bracelet back. Heck, check next to the kitchen sink. I always take off my jewelry when I do dishes.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Don't worry, you'll get your bracelet back. Heck, check next to the kitchen sink. I always take off my jewelry when I do dishes.

I did that once with a different ring...the gold ring blended in with the blond-ish wood of the counter top.

[Evil Queen]

I did that once with a different ring...the gold ring blended in with the blond-ish wood of the counter top.

Been there done that! with a gold ring as well! Darned thing! :lol:

[rageaholic]

I actually did turn something into lost and found last week at school. It was a blackberry that someone left in the bathroom, so not everyone is a dishonest theif.

As for the negative comments, I get sick of them too. I hate when people think they are being realistic by looking at the worst case scenario of a situation. These people pray on those who are already feeling low to try to "comfirm" their own feelings and belittle those who think possitively.

I know it's easier said then done, but don't let the naysayers get you down. Screw them.

[Aethian]

Some books I think you would like, "No More Mondays" (http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mondays-Dan-Miller/dp/B001E9NZLW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263955369&sr=8-2) by Dan Miller, "Fearless" (http://www.amazon.com/Fearless-Imagine-Your-Life-Without/dp/0849921392/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263955611&sr=8-1) by Max Lucado, and "48 Day to the Work you love" (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0032FO376/ref=s9_simi_gw_s0_p14_t3?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0XFY4SSAJGBRHXSRGMVY&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846) by Dan Miller.

[Eireann]

I checked next to the sink, in the drain rack, in the bathroom, on the night stand... Nothing. I called the bank today, because I withdrew money from an ATM inside one of their branches on Monday. Nobody has found anything. An ad has been placed in a free classified paper, as well as online. When I wash my sheets, I'll shake them out thoroughly. I simply can't imagine HOW the bracelet could have fallen off without me noticing it.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

People can be really rude about objects that have personal value for you, but aren't necessarily 'valuable' in a monetary sense. Some people just refuse to understand.

When I was younger I made this beautiful cloak. My Mother had given me a large amount of high quality wool-some black and some this wonderful grey stripey stuff. She'd had it in a closet for years and never used it, so she passed it onto me. I made this wonderful reversible cloak, black on one side and grey on the other. It was the warmest thing I owned and it was absolutely beautiful, and wearing it always made me think of my mother and her generosity in giving the fabric to me.

It vanished one summer during a hectic movie to another house with new roommates. When I realized it was missing I was in tears, and spent days backtracking, trying to figure out what happened to it. One of the new roommates placed very little value on her possessions. She owned practically nothing, but used other people's stuff instead. She was the kind of girl who would buy every item in her wardrobe used or incredibly cheaply, and every year would give half of them to goodwill so she could collect new ones.

She asked what was wrong, and I explained about this cloak, which I'd had for a number of years, had been handmade using very expensive wool my mother had given me, that I'd spent a long time drawing up a unique pocketed reversible cloak pattern, that I'd spent days and days embroidering it by hand, how priceless and ireplaceable it was to me and how sad I was that it was gone.

This girl started yelling at me!:eek: She started going on about how material possessions weren't important and how shallow I must be to be crying over this thing. She was yelling "It's just a piece of clothing! What's wrong with you!" that sort of thing.

One of the other roommates had to intervene and drag me off because I nearly assaulted her. This girl was never able to understand how offensive her attitude was to me, and forever after her opinion of me was that I was this vain and shallow creature who sobbed over random worthless pieces of clothing. :rolleyes:

[Eireann]

That's something like this woman's reaction. She has a very irritating way of talking down to other people, as if she's So Much Wiser Than All Of Thee, and that's the tone of voice she was using with me. It wasn't as bad as her laughter, but it was bad enough. She may just be one of those people who is filled with schadenfreude. Most of us have the sense NOT to laugh at someone else's problems, especially when it should be quite clear that the other person has been crying about it, but this woman just doesn't have that kind of sympathy, kindness, empathy, you name it.

I would be sorely tempted to laugh at her the next time she complains about something, but I'd feel shitty about it. Furthermore, I doubt that she'd make the connection. She might remember laughing about my bracelet, but she would still think that she was right to laugh, while I would be wrong to laugh at her.

One of those people who don't work or play well with others.

[Jester]

There are a lot of shitheads in the world. And there are also a lot of great people that, when you encounter them, restore at least part of your faith in humanity. You will meet many of both types.

Remember, life is patently unfair. Shit will happen. Horrible things will befall you. But...there is always that "but." Great things will happen. Glorious times will come. There will come a time when you question whether you really deserve the things that are coming your way. And that time, I think, is near. I don't know why. I have no empirical evidence towards this. It is merely a feeling I have, and as we all know, I reserve the right to be horribly wrong. But this time, logical and rational Jester is hoping he is dead on right in this illogical irrational "feeling" that things are about to get much better for you.

Until they do, try to maintain a positive outlook. It may not be easy, but if you can find a way to do it, the bad things that will happen won't seem as bad, and the good things that will happen will seem much better. Just as now, it is the reverse, with good things not seeming that major, and bad things seeming catastrophic.

Take a deep breath. Relax. Think about all the good things that have happened to you. The great things in your life. Think about the trip you just enjoyed. Life is not all a bucket of shit.

Life sucks, it's true. But life also rocks.

[HYHYBT]

People can be really rude about objects that have personal value for you, but aren't necessarily 'valuable' in a monetary sense. Some people just refuse to understand.Not just objects; any time you have a pet die, *someone* will say, "Oh, big deal. It's just a dog, get over it."

[shankyknitter]

I lost my great grandmother to Alzheimer a couple of years ago, if you ever feel the need to vent to someone who understands but is uninvolved (sometimes it helps) PM me and I'll send you my number.

As for everything else...:hug: things will get better even though it feels like crap now.

[Eireann]

I don't think it's a case of refusing to understand. She is simply incapable of understanding why anyone would be upset at losing a possession, and since she can't understand it, she laughs at it. She'll never apologize, either, because she just canNOT comprehend that it's wrong to laugh at someone who is upset. It's just how and who she is.

One more reason to get out of here. I sent out several emails earlier this week, but no responses yet. At least I'm actually DOING something about it.

It occurred to me this morning that one of my kitties, who thinks that everything in the apartment is a toy, might have put her little paws on my bracelet, so I'm going to check under all the furniture. Of course, this would mean that I took it off somewhere outside the bedroom, because my bedroom is off-limits to them. I don't even want to vacuum the place, lest I vacuum it up without knowing.

And Mom. And Mom. And Mom.

[protege]

It occurred to me this morning that one of my kitties, who thinks that everything in the apartment is a toy, might have put her little paws on my bracelet, so I'm going to check under all the furniture. Of course, this would mean that I took it off somewhere outside the bedroom, because my bedroom is off-limits to them. I don't even want to vacuum the place, lest I vacuum it up without knowing.

If your kitties are like mine, they'll play with whatever they can find. Or, whatever smells "interesting" to them. For example, Baxter just *loves* to play with the little plastic rings from gallon milk jugs. Not sure why, but he'll spend hours batting them around. Also, making rooms "off-limits" tends to make them more interesting for kitties--doing that makes them try harder to gain access ;)

Hopefully, your bracelet is still in your apartment somewhere. Good luck in finding it :)

[Eireann]

I want to thank all of you for your support. I haven't found my bracelet, though I've looked all over the place. The woman who made it, offered to return my money. I'm going to see if she's willing to make another one - it won't be exactly the same, of course, but similar. If she won't, or can't, I'll ask a friend who's into beading if she'll be willing to do it.

It really means a lot to me, knowing that you're all here.

[protege]

Not just objects; any time you have a pet die, *someone* will say, "Oh, big deal. It's just a dog, get over it."

Pardon my French, but that's fucked up. If someone would have said that to me back in 2007-08, after I'd lost *two* pets, I'd have strangled them :eek: Sorry asshole, my kitties may be pets to you, but they're my "kids." Don't like it? Fuck you.

Getting back on topic here, after my maternal grandfather died in '89, I ended up with many of his things. I was the oldest grandchild, and was constantly at his house. Grandma saw to it, that his prized possessions ended up in my care. That's why I have his 1940s jazz records, the watch Grandma had given as a wedding present, cuff links, his class ring, food inspector badges (looks like a police-issued item), WWII papers, photos, Lion's Club awards, etc. all things that are irreplaceable now. All of those things are valuable to me. Not because of what they cost, but because of where they came from.

But, one thing has disappeared--his pipe. That had been mounted on the wall in his office after his death...and I don't know what happened to it. I packed up many of his things after the house was sold in 2007...and haven't seen it since. Hopefully, it's hidden away in my basement, and will rejoin the rest of his things soon :(