Why Does Baby Hate Sleep?

[AnaKhouri]

Background: I have a 10-month-old son, Khan. I work from home so am with him all day, husband works on average 13 hours a day, 7 days a week; family all lives hours away, so I rarely get a break from childcare.

Khan is a sweet, happy, great kid. He's an active, healthy baby, which means he's a miniature natural disaster, but that's to be expected. He eats well and is friendly and cheerful. The only problem we have is sleep.

Khan HATES to sleep. He didn't sleep through the night until 4 months, when we started supplementing his breast milk with formula (he's a big kid), and he still wakes up on average once a night because he loses his pacifier and can't find it again in the dark (we put extra pacis in for him to find, but sometimes he just can't do it).

He falls asleep well enough at night; we have a strict routine and Husband puts him to bed (he was falling asleep in his crib until about 6 months when Husband suddenly decided he needed to rock Khan to sleep every night; I think it's guilt at being away so much. I don't like it but I can tolerate it since bedtime is his responsibility).

It's naptime that is the Hell on Earth. Some kids don't need daytime naps. Khan is not one of those kids. If he doesn't sleep at least 2 hours during the day, he will be fussy and whiny and clingy. I try to make him sleep in the morning, about 3 hours after he gets up at 6, and then in the afternoon around 2 pm (he goes to bed between 7 and 8).

Khan will be utterly exhausted and still fight it; he crawls around, then his head suddenly falls to the floor, he jerks it up, crawls a few more steps, head falls to the floor, repeat. Usually I will lie down on the bed with him, holding him tight; he will scream and flail for a good 15 minutes before he has to give in and sleep. Sometimes I can't even get him to sleep. The same in the afternoon. I have bruises all over my arms from this kid thrashing around, screaming, trying to keep himself awake.

I've tried to let him cry it out, but after a solid 90 minutes (on multiple occasions) I couldn't take it anymore; also we live in an apartment and it's not fair to our neighbors. I've told his doctor the last three visits; he just laughs and says, "Some kids just don't like to sleep." I try to keep a naptime routine but it's always the same with the screaming and flailing. It's not that he's sick or teething; this has been going on for months. The thing is, I need him to nap- since I work from home I need some time to do that and can't do it if I'm following him around all day (no room for a playpen and he'd just scream anyway; he hates being confined, and he gets out of every improvised barrier we've tried).

I am finally asking for help because this morning I am seriously about to lose me mind. He woke at 6; at 9 I got him to sleep. He woke up 10 minutes later. At 10 I tried again; he woke up 10 minutes later and has been whining and fussing since then (he has a clean diaper, has been fed, has some Orajel on his gums, so it has to be because he's tired).

Any ideas? Has anyone else ever dealt with this? I don't think it can possibly be normal. I'm starting to wonder if Freddy Krueger is chasing him through his dreams. :(

[chikenlady]

Maybe try just one nap, possibly just after his lunch. That's all my daughter needed at that age.

[Magpie]

My husband was slightly older, but he decided that he wasn't going to take naps. After one disastrous day when MIL decided to give it a try, because naptime was such a chore, he was told that he had to take naps. Upon being sent to bed for a nap he complained that "This is such a waste of time". Sorry, can't really offer advice, just thought I'd let you know you're not alone.

You might want to consider asking your husband to put Khan down directly at night. It might be their bonding time, but if Khan is used to getting rocked to sleep, then he'll probably expect it at naptime too.

[r2cagle]

I used to have to put my kiddo in his car seat and drive until he fell asleep! Daddy could just lay down on the bed with him and kiddo would go to sleep.
At almost 5, my son still doesn't like to take naps (even when mommy desperately needs one!)

Stop the rocking until asleep... hold and rock until sleepy, but baby must fall sleep on his own. If there is a lovey, or cuddly that Khan loves, use that for both naptime and bedtime. Have some gentle instrumental music and keep it the same songs, repetition will trigger sleep response.

Khan is fighting naps because he's got too much to do, and is a busy, busy boy. Try putting him down at 9:30/10 instead of 9. Give him alot of floor time with toys and such, a quick snack then down for nap, with lights off and music playing. The more relaxed and matter of fact you are, the better it will go. You're dreading the fight, and I know you can't reason with a 10 mo old, but you can still tell him, it doesn't matter how much you scream, it's time for a nap... if he keeps screaming, soothe him and say, I love you, but it's time for nap, nite-nite. If all else fails, get someone else to come in and put him down for a nap... lol. Everyone else could get my son to take a nap but me!

[AnaKhouri]

There is no one else. It's all me from 6 am to 7 pm. :(

I'll show this thread to Husband; maybe it will convince him to stop rocking him to sleep. I don't know why he suddenly decided he had to rock him.

He does seem to fall asleep quicker the longer I wait to put him down, but he starts getting fussy around 9. I guess I'll just have to bear it.

I wouldn't care if he didn't nap at all, if he was always in a good mood, but if he doesn't get his sleep in, he's a monster.

When he gets old enough to understand I plan to tell him, "You have to stay in your room for one hour. I don't care if you sleep or not, but you can't come out." :lol:

[BarbieGirl]

You might invest in some black out drapes to darken the room up, my oldest (4) has always had a hard time falling asleep when it's light. I also had one of those soothing sounds machine and usually had it on raindrops and thunder, he really really REALLY needed the white noise as a baby to take his naps. He went through a really sensitive to sound stage, if I clinked the glass pitcher putting it back in the fridge he would wake up screaming bloody murder.

[NorthernZel]

Lil'Zel was sorta the same kind of kid, when he was a baby.

He had no trouble sleeping through the night since he was approx. 2 weeks old, but during the day... oy vey.

IIRC he didn't get a stable day-time sleeping pattern before he was about 11 months old and had started in daycare. But until then we had some luck playing some assorted Johnny Cash records to him when it was nap-time - it was kinda like the slow and monotone bass-line in the songs soothed him a bit.

[AnaKhouri]

Holy crap, kid.

We went swimming this afternoon. For 3 hours. My friend's 2-year-old was wiped, he fell asleep as she carried him to the car. I figured Khan would be exhausted and looked forward to an afternoon nap for once.

He fell asleep in the car seat...woke up when I carried him inside...and was wide awake. And still is. Total nap time today: 30 minutes.

Bye-bye, sanity. :wave: Better get out my Johnny Cash CDs.

[Evil Queen]

Pagan and I have decided that AdminAssistant will be perfect to babysit Khan for you. :angel:

We're trying to save her that the evil that is World of Warcraft. :puke:

[trailerparkmedic]

I would love to babysit Khan. It might just cure me of my baby fever. :D

Good luck with naps. My only suggestion is driving, which doesn't work so well when you take him out of the car.

[AdminAssistant]

Pagan and I have decided that AdminAssistant will be perfect to babysit Khan for you. :angel:

We're trying to save her that the evil that is World of Warcraft. :puke:

You two are going to get me in serious trouble with the SO! ;):lol:

Besides, while I like babies and kids and all that, I don't do diapers. At all.

But Khan is adorable.

And don't worry about me. I don't have time to be a WoW addict, but it meant a lot to the SO for me to try it out.

[Aethian]

Mom said my naps during the day avereaged about 15 mins. Some kids just dont need that much time.

[Mishi]

When Bubbles is cranky and needing a nap, I put her on a nest of blankets on the floor in front of the TV with a bottle of water. It's the only thing that works for her and only when she's so exhausted that she's falling asleep, falling over and waking up. NASCAR works the best for her and the dogs tend to sneak up and nap near her. Good luck with your little man, hope you find something that works!

[freeatlast]

By the time my niece was about 2, my sister stopped calling it "naptime" and started calling it "lockdown.":roll:

[CaroPhoenix]

Child Rum also decided at 4 months of age, she was done with naps. I used to put her in a bouncy saucer thingee. I'd also play some of "Mommy" music. Barry Manilow made her cry like her ears were bleeding.

The only thing that used to put her to sleep: Marilyn Manson. Get some of that music, and I guarantee you that Khan will go to sleep rather than face Mr. Manson's music.

If that doesn't work, I'm sorry, I'm out of ideas.

:hug:

[Mishi]

The only thing that used to put her to sleep: Marilyn Manson. Get some of that music, and I guarantee you that Khan will go to sleep rather than face Mr. Manson's music.

JazzyBee used to only fall asleep listening to Disturbed :lol:

[r2cagle]

That is an option... a swing, or bouncy chair. If he'll take a nap in those... at least, it's a nap!

[AnaKhouri]

The swing works sometimes, but not all the time. :(

I listen to NPR for about 9 hours a day; you'd think that would put him to sleep but nooooo....:rolleyes:

[fireheart]

If Khan's not scared of thunderstorms, try rainy mood. http://www.rainymood.com/ It's basically 30 minutes or so of rain. It starts with a thunderstorm and can go through a loop.

And yes it works wonders for when you try to get to sleep.

[Evil Queen]

:eek:

Forget the kid! I'm using the rain soundtrack for myself! :lol:

*YOINK*

[fireheart]

:eek:

Forget the kid! I'm using the rain soundtrack for myself! :lol:

*YOINK*

:roll: My boyfriend had the same thought. He was the one who showed it to me. Now he has a setup in his room to play it every night when he goes to bed, so all night his bedroom sounds like rain.

[Riesie]

Mine's 4 atm. His dad does the bedtime routine, and I havehim all day. When he was small enough for them, those bouncy chairs that vibrate were a godsend. It was the only way I could get him to sleep short of lying with him holding him till he gave in. At night, Daddy reads him a bedtime story, and then puts on an audiobook and stays with him for the first 5 minutes of that. We started the bedtime story routine when he was about 10mo, and it made our lives so much easier. We also shifted his bedtime later by about an hour - it meant Daddy (who had gone from a uni students timetable to a full time job with an hours commute each way) got to spendmore awake time with him, and he was more willing to have his nap, although he would just have one 2-3hr one each afternoon.

[Megg]

My daughter decided at about 2 and a half that she was done with naps. She's my kid, so that was that. :lol:

She won't sleep without a fan on, though. When I was a kid, I was the same. Every little noise was either: something I desperately needed to see/do/be involved with, or a boogeyman coming to eat my heart, depending on how dark it was. My mom put a fan in my room, I could no longer hear the noises, and there you are - sleeping child! Maybe that's why Em has to have the fan - she's been hearing it since the womb! :D

[Midnight12]

LONG POST warning!

ok. since you seem to have a somewhat set schedule going with some leeway this is good. already cleared that its not a dirty or wet diaper or that there isn't anything uncomfortable about the diaper. (other things such as a hair or lint or that its on in some way that Khan doesn't like too loose too tight etc yes some babies are touchy to that. Lisa is, her diaper has to be just so sometimes or she won't sleep.
I have to tie my hair up so when changing i don't leave a hair in her diaper its happened once or twice on accident.

It could be gas sometimes but thats up to you as you know his diet. It could be constipation, does he seem to have a full belly all the time or is soiled diapers fluctuating too much. If thats it you can try several things, gently rubbing the tummy in clockwise circles slowly moving from left to right. Bicycling the legs as if he were riding a bike. Laying down move his legs as if he were bike riding for about five minutes. OR try just a little bit of white (light) karo syrup in a spoon followed by a chaser such as water or whatever he drinks. (you can mix in a bottle but it makes it thick quickly)

The morning nap doesn't HAVE to happen however when its nap time or close to nap time start getting him wound down as in ok time to slowly stop playing so much. This may mean getting with him during play time and and doing one on one. Turn down the noise or play some quiet music. IE tv off or on low for some back ground noise but lessen the distractions. When Khan seems to have calmed down or wound down a bit try then. ALSO it helps to try this AFTER eating as full belly really helps. full belly dry diaper etc.

White noise REALLY helps, shushing, a vacuum cleaner or loud fan running something that is repetitive noise but won't bother the neighbors too much or at all. Some lullaby music or radio on low for background noise (not all of the above thats too much) or all else fails humming. Keep in mind that to get him to realise that its ok you have to get as loud as him sometimes.
When Lisa gets over tired I have to hold her up right with her ear close to me and shush loud in her ear or hum loud until she realizes hey mom is saying something.
I think the restraining MAY be what is causing some issues because he's feeling held and that may cause him to want to fight back as in no don't restrain me freak out reaction. I tried that with lisa and it made it worse.
The laying down with him however does help. And yes your hubby needs to stop rocking him to sleep as in the long run he will be used to falling asleep that way instead of on his own in the crib and come to EXPECT rocking.

ALSO when its nap time turn off or turn down the lights but do have a night light on. I know over load but its at least several options to try. And your dr laughing is....not funny. Yes Khan is fussy but there has to be a reason why. Especially for him crawling and falling asleep on you thats scary.

If it CAN be done, try a night time routine. say bed time is 8pm. ok last meal at 6-6:30, bath time, let him play in the water if he wants or can, that will burn some energy. and then change into sleeper or nightwear which will get him used to the routine or some kind of different clothing than day if you want its optional. and then turn down the lights and get ready for bed. rocking should be used for over tired emergencies and he will fight the schedule at first but some kind of routine will help you just have to stick to it.,

I do this with Lisa, meal at 6 or 6:30, bath time, change clothes fresh diaper, wind down time then bed. she goes to sleep or lays there but is still winding down. any food change throws babies off some, I recently introduced turkey to Lisa and expect there to be some issues such as waking up to pass gas or my diaper is full!

Hopefully this helps

if it is constipation and it was bad he would cry at being touched around the stomach. or just be tender there. normally there is a difference between full belly ok at least that I can see with my kid. and i can tell when she is having trouble with bowel movements so i have karo on hand. she is like her dad, some foods bother her more than others. maybe thats it?

[Midnight12]

also, not to naysay here, www.kellymom.com has advice on it if nothing else. there are usually mods available and someone will eventually have a chance to reply. everyone is nice and very helpful there!

[monolayth]

I agree with you ladies and gentelmen, on the whole darken the room and white noise thing.

I wanted to add if all else fails you can stop getting bruises from him if you tightly wrap him up. i can still swaddle Charles with a recieving blanket but you might need to use a regular blanket. It will at least stop him from hitting you.

Whatever you decide to do, consistancy is key. Babies dont like change. He will fight whatever you do. most likely for a week maybe two. Dont give up. Dont give in. Be consistant. It will be worth it.