View Full Version : Sticky Stupidity

06-22-2010, 07:16 PM
It never fails that the rude customers come out when one if holding the fort by their lonesome. I think there must be some radar on these folks for just that purpose. I'm one of those odd folks that sell products at local farmer's markets so I'm used to seeing a wide variety of customers, especially between my two favorites <alias insert>Science Town & Hippyville</alias insert>. Science Town usually consists of children running for honey sticks while Hippyville is full of folks asking me if the honey really is raw. However this year it's been getting worse and worse...

Science Town 1

Two older men came over looking for honey for their co-worker. They didn't know what type, only that it was twenty dollars. I have no twenty dollar bottles, just fifteen & twenty five. After much kerfluffle about what to get him the louder of the two men decides he needs a discount. I rebuffed the attempts after he tried both senior and military.

Me: I'm sorry sir but no.

SC: You're ripping me off!

Me: Excuse me, sir?

SC: You're ripping me off! I demand you give me a deal.

Me: Sir, all I'm going to do is give you a wave and grief if you continue.

His friend starts laughing and tries to get his friend to chill out. This fails and SC starts walking around in circles in front of my booth declaring quite loudly that I've ripped him off that that others should beware of my scamming ways. After a moment he walks back towards me.

Me: What branch were you in?

SC: Army!

Me: Really?

SC: Yes, and I know your father!

Me: Oh? What's his name?

My father is retired Navy and the business bares his name. There's a chance he knows him as his particular field is small and my father is well known within its community. A neighboring vendor tells me, "How many bomb techs could there really be in this town?" By this point his friend is rolling his eyes and trying to ignore him.

SC: I can't remember! I don't remember these things!

Me: What did you do?

SC: Um... Bomb Disposal! I was.. a.. a... Warrant Officer!

Me: Oh that's funny.

SC: What's so funny?

Me: Army doesn't use the Warrant Officer designation within EOD. You need to leave. Now. Of course you can stick around, he'll be here in a few minutes to help me close down for the day.

SC: How dare you! I.. uh.. have to leave but.. well, you tell him that Warrant Officer EnterNameHere tells him hi and when I come back I'll expect a refund!

My father agreed with everything I had done and we laughed about the whole mess. The SC has not returned.


This is a market I usually do with my father because of the volume of customers but he was away at a convention related to his main line of work so I was left to fend for myself. By this point in the day I had already upset several parents by making them purchase the honey sticks their children shoved up their noses. A heavily made-up older woman with the air of over-priced art studio owner came up and started commenting snidely about everything within my booth. Then after deciding that none of my honey varieties were good (I'd never seen her and she told her friend she'd never even tasted any of it) she started after me...

SC1: Do you have honey from MiddleofNoWhere?

Me: No ma'am, we don't have hives up there. It's too far out of the way for us.

SC1: I know that! I just want to know if you have honey from there.

Me: Ma'am, I can't carry honey that isn't mine. It's against market rules.

SC1: I don't care! You have to get honey from up there!

Me: ... >.< ...

SC1: I'll just go talk to my friend in MiddleofNoWhere, he has honey up there and he'll sell me some.

Me: That's nice ma'am.

Awesome Tourist Customer: Damn hippies...

06-22-2010, 07:23 PM
I bet those SCs could shit honey judging from the number of bees they seem to have up their asses.

06-22-2010, 07:55 PM
true about the bees up the ass; that must be one hell of a hive they have hiding up there.

kudos for you on making the 'parents' pay for the items they ruined; now, if we could only get big corporations understand the logic behind this type of action. :rolleyes:

06-22-2010, 10:39 PM
bravo for putting the old crank in his place in the first story. As for the lady in the second tale, she really needs to get over herself

06-24-2010, 05:41 AM
They need to get stuck in honey and become permanently frozen in it.