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View Full Version : Tyler Perry's wacko shoppers


Grape The Cat
11-16-2010, 02:16 PM
a couple of doozies from WM.
Only for Black people
The players:

MBW: Mad Black Woman
CW: co-worker
Me: me
DM: dept. manger
(thoughts dared not said)
OC picks up a Tyler Perry movie, she is Hispanic (this is important) she buys the movie and she is completely cool.

MBW: EXCUSE ME!!!!!
Me: Yes?
MBW: I wasn't talkin' to you whitey.
Me: Oh, okay. ( Thank god. )
MBW: (to CW) EXCUSE ME!!
CW: Yes?
MBW: Why you sellin' Tyler Perry movies to illegals? You can't sell 'em to anyone but Black people.
CW: I'm sorry?
MBW: You ain't sellin these movies to anyone but Black people.
CW: I really can't refuse a sale based on race.
MBW: Look, are you tryin' to betray our race?
CW: No.
MBW: Man, you ain't got no pride, in yo' race.
CW: Would you like to speak to a manager?
MBW: No. A manger would just be a whitey like that idiot over there.<refers to me>
CW: I'm sorry but...
MBW: Man, I will write to the attorney general about this.
Cw: Okay.
MBW: F-ck you. I'm leavin'.
Me and CW (yipee!)
MBW: You shouldn't be workin' together. Whitey will corrupt us.
<exeunt MBW enter DM>
DM: was she screaming at y'all?
Me: Yeah, she was complaing that we sold a Tyler Perry movie to someone who wasn't black.
DM: Oh Lord. That woman is a crackhead, she's always knocking on my door asking for money. I've got your backs in case she tries to complain to management.
Me: Thank you.
CW: Yeah, thanks. (re: MBW) What a nutjob
DM: Look, at least you don't have to live near her.



It's in the water, or something

The players:
Me: me
SC: SC
CW: Co-worker
M: manager

<I am working at the service desk>

SC: Hi wanna return some items. (it's some towels and a sheet set, i process her return) and give her her cash back)
Me: Okay..
SC: I just want to tall you that i don't appreciate what your store did to my child.
Me: I'm sorry would you like to talk to a manager?
SC: Maybe a manager can undo the damage caused to my family by you and your store.
M: Hi.
SC: YOU MADE MY SON GAY!!!
M: ma'am please calm sown.
SC: CALM DOWN?? MY SON IS GAY THANKS TO YOU!!!!
M: Ma'am, I ..
SC: YOU HAVE GAY EMPLOYEES HERe, RIGHT?
M: I am not at liberty to discuss personal details about my workers.
SC: YOU WON'T!!! YOU TURNED MY SON GAY!!
M: Ma'am please calm down.
SC: ARE THESE PEOPLE F-GS TOO?? THEY TOUCHED MY MONEY GIVE ME NEW MONEY!!
M: Ma'am please..
SC: If you give me a $100 gift card i won't tell my friends about you employing gays and making people gay.
M: I'm sorry ma'am, but I am not in an position to offer..
SC: FINE I"M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN, AND I"LL MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS OF YOUR PRACTICES!!!
<exeunt SC>

Fufu487
11-16-2010, 02:22 PM
Sounds like a fine a dandy day. I'd be ending it with a stiff drink.... AppleJacks? :D

Mikkel
11-16-2010, 03:17 PM
:eek: You get some special people.

RootedPhoenix
11-16-2010, 03:21 PM
O.o I..just...*blue screen*

*offers cookies*

gremcint
11-16-2010, 04:00 PM
pure curiousity, is dm black or does she not have a problem taking money from white people.

Shalom
11-16-2010, 04:14 PM
SC: If you give me a $100 gift card i won't tell my friends about you employing gays and making people gay.

"If you get the hell out right now, I won't call the cops and have you charged with attempted extortion."

chainedbarista
11-16-2010, 04:20 PM
hell, call security on them both and toss their asses out with a permaban.

what, sheets are now passing teh gay? oh noes! well, i guess i'm gay then, it's the sheets, dontcha know? ;)

threatens and extorts...real quality there.

Frantic Freddie
11-16-2010, 04:23 PM
"If you get the hell out right now, I won't call the cops and have you charged with attempted extortion."

I like it! :D

hey Shalom,my wife's a RPh!

Mikkel
11-16-2010, 05:00 PM
what, sheets are now passing teh gay? oh noes! well, i guess i'm gay then, it's the sheets, dontcha know? ;)

I do have some pink sheets, I thought it was that red T-shirt hidden in the washing :D. Who would have guessed.

Mr Hero
11-16-2010, 05:07 PM
#1: All I can say is what a racist bitch.

#2: Sounds like someone got their hands on a copy of Cosmo.

tropicsgoddess
11-16-2010, 05:32 PM
Damn....you get some really really S-M-R-T shoppers there. :eek::rolleyes:

superhotelworker
11-16-2010, 05:38 PM
1. This is why I hate the race card in ANY form. Ugh.
2. Nutjob.

*hands over a smirnoff Apple*

blas
11-16-2010, 05:43 PM
Oh crap. I've seen almost all of Tyler Perry's movies, and underneath this fake bake is a half Ginger kid.

AyreBiskits
11-16-2010, 06:32 PM
what EXACTLY is in your water out there? crack?? seriously? :lol:

Sheldonrs
11-16-2010, 06:42 PM
...SC: ARE THESE PEOPLE F-GS TOO?? THEY TOUCHED MY MONEY GIVE ME NEW MONEY!!
...>

Is that what they mean by "Gay for pay"? :D

Bridget
11-16-2010, 07:13 PM
I had one black dude try to play the race card on me once, he said I was a racist and he bet I didn't treat my other customers that way. I said oh really, I guess that means I treat my husband poorly since he's black too and both our kids must be abused by me since their half black right?! That shut him up. smh

doogiej
11-16-2010, 09:12 PM
Crap. I have The Nightmare Before Christmas sheets. What does that make me?

ZedOmega
11-16-2010, 10:05 PM
Man, you wanna talk about a couple of people who need a smack upside the head. A franchise where Perry dresses up like a woman being blacks-only and homosexuality spread just by being in the same store as them? What a couple of bitches. -.-

Ree
11-17-2010, 12:01 AM
UNBEEEELIEVABLE!!!

laborcat
11-17-2010, 12:57 AM
Wow... that's... something else.

You can keep them there and away from me! Or just shoot'em and make the world a brighter, happier place?

Kereminde
11-17-2010, 01:42 AM
Re #2:

Store managers don't like to hear about customers who try to extort their employees, or their company. If the customers are stupid enough, they stop being customers and become . . . excommunicato . . .

It becomes much easier if you manage to yank a name or photo ID out of them for the gift card transaction before you invite them to leave the premises.

Kristev
11-17-2010, 06:56 AM
So my recent watching of Tyler Perry movies is a bad thing because my skin is peach, not sepia or brunette? Oh my! De de de de de de de de if she only had a brain . . .


I have another song, too: "Grab your coat and wave goodbye to your friends. I want to take you where the night never ends. I feel the need to sweep you off of your feet. You and me we should be dancin' in the sheets . . . dancing in the sheets." :lol:

Imogene
11-17-2010, 10:15 AM
Crap. I have The Nightmare Before Christmas sheets. What does that make me?

A skeleton?

Bright_Star
11-17-2010, 11:06 AM
I'm stunned that, in this day & age, that racism still manages to rear its ugly head in the most unexpected of ways.
I get this---->"You can't be Puerto Rican cause you don't have an accent!" So I say this--->"Yeah, I'm full blooded Puerto Rican, both of my parents were born & raised there;I was born there & raised HERE!" So they look at me like I'm crazy & then go on to ask why I don't speak it around them. Why should I speak spanish in front of a bunch of white people who don't even like tacos???...LMAO!
You can't make this shit up, you really can't.

Grape The Cat
11-17-2010, 02:02 PM
Well, both "ladies" were banned. Number 1 was banned for shoplifting, and not the actions described in this thread. Number 2 was banned after she threatened an associate. Yeah, we got some really odd people in my WM, and I don't mean odd in a good way.

PepperElf
11-18-2010, 03:21 AM
at least you have 2 less crazies to deal with.
hope your coworker can also ban her from knocking on the door too.

and irony. i didn't know who tyler was (thought it was a girl actually) so i looked up the name on google images.
this (http://cdn.theurbandaily.com/files/2010/06/tyler-perry.jpg) was the first picture. dunno who he is still but apparently he can pull off a good drag look. :)

maybe you can send this photo to the second customer. :devil:

GreySergal
11-18-2010, 04:00 AM
So THAT's why I like guys.

DAMN YOU WALMART BRAND SHEETS! *FISTSHAKE!*

Tama
11-18-2010, 08:53 AM
I saw my first Tyler Perry movie, it was "Diary of a Mad Black Woman." I did not know who Tyler Perry was at this time.

I honest-to-god thought Madea was really played by a woman. :lol: That guy really knows how to crossdress!

42_42_42
11-18-2010, 09:03 AM
Crap. I have The Nightmare Before Christmas sheets. What does that make me?

Awesome.




As for the two SCs...those are 2 people we could all get along perfectly fine without. Too bad being a crazy entitlement whore asshole doesn't warrant the death penalty...then again, if it did, death row would be REALLY full.

Mr.Customer
11-18-2010, 09:27 PM
So THAT's why I like guys.

DAMN YOU WALMART BRAND SHEETS! *FISTSHAKE!*

It gives a bit of insite as to why she was returning the sheets. I bet they were on her son's bed when she caught him doing something...lol

Red_Dazes
11-18-2010, 10:04 PM
Crap. I have The Nightmare Before Christmas sheets. What does that make me?

....*Gasp* ZOMBIE!!!!!



*cough cough*

What are your customers smoking.... seriously....wow.

Hyena Dandy
11-19-2010, 04:58 AM
I... I...

How did she narrow it down to your store?

aurelemsrealm
11-19-2010, 07:35 AM
Like Ron White says, "You can't fix stupid."

The only thing I can say is that those two women should be glad that stupidity is not a punishable offense. While stupidity is not illegal, I still think some people should not be allowed to roam free.

For the record, I'm as white as any white boy can be, and I find Tyler Perry's Madea character absolutely hilarious. I'd definitely want her on my side in a fight. LOL!

zombiequeen
11-19-2010, 07:59 PM
Hubby and I have grey Wally-world sheets...does that make us gay? Or gray? :p

DGoddessChardonnay
11-20-2010, 04:39 AM
Oh crap. I've seen almost all of Tyler Perry's movies, and underneath this fake bake is a half Ginger kid.

So have I. He's one of my favorite directors. I've told my Mom I want to be like Madea when I grow up (hey, I can dream, can't I?) :p


MBW from the OP would have a herd of cows if she knew he has white fans down South.:D

Tama
11-20-2010, 06:53 AM
"Say one mo' thing. I don't hear you, you're quiet. Can I buy a vowel?"

"Peace, be still. That's what he said."
"I know he said 'peace, be still'...that's why I have a piece OF steel.."

(Paraphrasing that last one) Some of my favorite lines.:D

Irving Patrick Freleigh
11-20-2010, 11:50 PM
I currently have fleece sheets on my bed. Brown, lime green, teal and white-striped ones.

So, using SC math, that translates to how many sets of balls gargled by me on a daily basis?

Phone Jockey
11-21-2010, 04:15 PM
Bigotry knows no bounds. Hate you had to deal with that kind of crap.

DGoddessChardonnay
11-22-2010, 12:19 AM
I saw my first Tyler Perry movie, it was "Diary of a Mad Black Woman." I did not know who Tyler Perry was at this time.

I honest-to-god thought Madea was really played by a woman. :lol: That guy really knows how to crossdress!

That was the first one I saw, too. I laughed until I cried and almost wet myself from laughing so hard at Madea.

I'd have to say my favorite scene from that film is where Madea is at Charles' house with Helen and she breaks out the chainsaw to divide up the furniture. :jawdrop::roll::roll:

RxBoy
11-22-2010, 01:24 AM
FINE I"M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN, AND I"LL MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS OF YOUR PRACTICES!!!


If you see her in your store again, you might be able to sue her for mental anguish. She got your hopes up by telling you that she was never coming back to your store.

DGoddessChardonnay
11-22-2010, 04:26 AM
If you see her in your store again, you might be able to sue her for mental anguish. She got your hopes up by telling you that she was never coming back to your store.

And that would probably work just as well as having a deer hit your car and you try to claim the accident on your liability insurance by insisting that the deer was an uninsured motorist.:lol: