My Birthdaycation!

[Jester]

I am often amused by people who celebrate their "birthday month." But this year, I seem to be doing just that. Check out the schedule of events in my life for the next couple weeks. It's.....interesting, even by my standards.

Today: Day off, do nothing, do something, get stuff done around the house, drink....dunno yet. For now, going to watch some DVR shit and crash out for a bit.

Monday: Day off, as I have been hired to perform magic at the local high school's prom. Yes, seriously. Yay me. Not sure what I'm going to do during the day, though.

Tuesday: Day off, as I have a cookoff, and am going to try to make paella for the first time ever.

Wednesday: Day off, as it's my birthday. Beyond the sushi dinner that we do every year, and of course much drinking downtown, no idea what I'm gonna do.

Thursday: Day off, as it's the day after my birthday, and generally speaking, I'm in no shape to work. I am a drinker, after all. :lol: But in addition to recovering, I will be in the kitchen making my award-winning chili. See below.

Friday: Actually working my normal scheduled shift. Shocking.

Saturday: Day off, as per my normal schedule. Going to a going away party for a couple who are friends of mine and moving far, far away from here. They specifically requested that I make my chili for the party. How do you say know to THAT?

Sunday: Day off, as per my normal schedule. A friend of mine and myself, and a friend of his, are road-tripping up to Miami to attend the Diamondbacks-Marlins game. GO D-BACKS!

Monday & Tuesday: Working, as per my normal schedule.

Wednesday: Road-tripping up to West Palm Beach with another friend of mine to attend the Heart & Def Leppart concert. Heart is my favorite band, who I have seen four times (3 times as Heart, once as their off-shoot band, The Lovemongers), and I don't know how many more chances I'll have to see them, so this is my birthday present to myself. Since it is about a 5 hour drive, we are staying the night.

Thursday: Putz around on the mainland, eventually returning home to Key West.

Friday: Go back to what passes for normalcy in my life. :lol:

Whew! I'm exhausted just talking about it!

[Bella_Vixen]

Pointless to say, but...

Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wave:

[Jester]

That is never pointless to say! And thank you.

And yes, of course I'm going to have fun, but the thoughts are still appreciated.

Honestly, not all is perfect. If the going away party was another day, for example, I could actually go up to Miami on Saturday and catch both the Saturday night 7:00 game and the Sunday 1:00 afternoon game. As it is, I get to go to a going away party where there will presumably be much drinking, party with my friends, then somehow manage to wake up early in the morning and get on the road. Of course, the good news in that is that my friend's friend, who really doesn't drink all that much, will be doing the driving, and my friend and I will be able to drink to our hearts' content, and safely, and all of us get to have fun at the baseball game.

Should be an amusing couple of weeks!

[sms001]

Picked a good time to be born Jester - the D-backs are on fire, and don't show signs of slowing down. Hope it's a good contest.
Haven't been to West Palm in a couple of years, as my 'spring training' partner now lives in....Scottsdale. Hard to justify both of us flying a thousand miles when he has four stadiums in his backyard. :) Can't have changed too much though - fun town to jump around in. I'm sure it'll be a blast.
Happy birthday, and enjoy.

[MoonCat]

Have fun and in case I forget, Have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

We want a report on that Heart concert, by the way!

[Jester]

I can probably do the report on the concert right now. Let me give it a try. Ahem....

"Oh my god, it was awesome! Def Leppard was great, but it was so cool seeing Ann and Nancy on stage again! And my friend, who is a big fan of Heart, was blown away to see them live for the first time. Holy hell mother of Jehosephat, that was a kick ass time! I had to have three beers afterwards just to calm down!"

What? I have seen the girls FOUR times before, ya know. They ARE my favorite band, ya know.

But yeah, I'll report in at some point. Don't I always?

I am hoping that, in addition to their new stuff and old classics, that they do "Love Alive," "Back to Avalon," and if I'm really lucky, "Dream of the Archer." Those of you unfamiliar with the greatness of Heart might want to check out those songs on youtube, or your favorite music-listening website. (And speaking of that, is there any audio-only youtube-like site? I could give two flying panda shits about the videos that go with these songs, to be perfectly honest.)

By the way, for those of you who were wondering, I did pretty much jack shit today, other than helping my roommate find and purchase a bicycle for transportation. I was there for the bicycle expertise, and when the seller told us the price for the bike in question, I flat out told my roommate that it wasn't worth it. Because, well, it wasn't it. And we got the price knocked down to just five dollars over what I said I would pay for it. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. But yeah, other than that, I've done fuck all today....pretty much fucked around on the computer and watched tv. And have had only one beer....which I am about to correct momentarily. But the real bonus is that the only money I spent all day was a few bucks at Subway for lunch, and a few more at a bar for a beer and a lottery ticket while said roommate was doing some shopping for bike accessories. Yeah, yeah, I know....lottery's are a joke. But the occasional dollar here and there, why not? And besides, the drawing is on my birthday, so how could I NOT take a shot? (If I win, I am throwing one killer party!)

[42_42_42]

Happy Birthday Jester!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Well, I am off work this whole week, so we will call it celebrating your birthday. :D

[MoonCat]

Hey, there's an idea! We could call this "Jester's Birthday Week" and party every day. Hell, I better get busy, this means I'm already behind by two parties...

You can listen to songs on Rhapsody and Grooveshark. Rhapsody allows a certain number of songs free per month. I don't think there's a limit at Grooveshark. But I don't know if they have songs by Heart. Can't hurt to check it out. I'm sure there are other sites, too.

[Jester]

Any music site that doesn't have songs by Heart is a music site that doesn't have me as a listener. I mean, come on, it's not like my favorite band is some obscure never-heard-of group out of Kenosha, Wisconsin or anything. :lol:

[Jester]

Interesting day before.

As I mentioned earlier, today I was all about the cookoff, and about making paella for the first time ever.

My plan was simple: at some point over the weekend, or at worst yesterday during the day, to do some online research, put together a recipe, hit the grocery store, and be ready to start prepping and cooking at a decent hour today, and be absolutely ready for the 7:00 cookoff.

That was the plan.

I am not known for being too good at sticking to plans. And as plans go, this one went. Right out the window, off the balcony, and shattering into a thousand pieces on the sidewalk below.

What ACTUALLY happened was I didn't do shit towards this over the weekend or yesterday, other than checking out a couple online recipes. That's it. Then today came, and I woke up around, say, 10:30 or so. Okay, no problem, still plenty of time, right?

Sure there was. Which is why I sat around doing jack shit, watching tv and putzing about on the computer. Until about, say, 1:00, when I started to realize I needed to get moving. So I actually started to do some research, found some stuff that worked, and made up my grocery list. And then played Minesweeper for about half an hour.

I really can't make this shit up.

Finally, I set off for the grocery store around 2. Found everything I needed (except one item), made a couple of adjustments on the fly, and even picked up some lunch and some stuff for the chili I'm making on Thursday. Then went to another grocery store to get the one item I couldn't find at the first one. Finally got home around 3:30.

Did I mention that the cookoff was at 7?

So, sat down, ate my lunch, studied the recipe I had, made some notes about how I was going to do this, stayed calm (I used to freak out in this kind of situation), and started in on my prep work. Which included cracking open a bottle of beer. For once I wasn't procrastinating, though....I drank the beer AS I did my prep.

Part of my prep was cooking my mussels. First time I've ever cooked mussels. And I realized just how creepy cooking mussels really is. For those who have done it, you know what I'm talking about. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, trust me, you really don't want to.

Before I had even gotten the mussels on the stove, while I was still sorting through the cold mussels, my roommate Mr. Anti-Social came out of his cave room and asked me what the hell I was doing, and why it smelled of bad raw fish. (It didn't...I smelled the mussels, and they smelled just as they should have...like the briney ocean from whence they'd come.) I explained what I was making, and he nodded dubiously, vocally suggesting that he might not go to the cookoff after all, free food or not, as this shit looked scary to him.

In any case, prep was going fine until I got to the fargin' shrimp. Shelling and deveining shrimp is a tedious process, and it just slows me down. Good thing I decided to skip the squid and just use more mussels, as squid is even more of a pain in the ass to clean. I finally finished prep at about 5:20.

7:00 was looming large. And some recipes of paella call for cooking it for HOURS. Luckily for me, this was NOT one of those recipes.

Once prep was done, things started flying. (I'm a pretty good cook and know what I'm doing, but I am damn slow with prep.) Finally got the paella done at right around 6:30. At which point Mr. Anti-Social again appeared, commenting on how great it smelled, how good it looked, and oh yeah, he was gonna go after all. Fine--he could carry my damn hot plate. :lol: Anyway, transplanted the paella from the cooking vessel to a disposable pan with a lid, grabbed a serving spoon, and with Mr. Anti-Social in tow, out the door we went, loading up the truck, and firing off the afterburners in the direction of downtown.

We pulled up to the bar literally right at around 7. Unlike last time, there is now legal parking right in front of said bar (paid legal parking, but legal parking nonetheless), so we parked there and unloaded, and I was surprised to see that I was one of the first ones there. But shortly everyone else showed up, and it was fun.

And while I liked what I did with my first draft of the dish, it definitely could use some improvement (more seasoning and some peas, for example), but overall, I was damn happy with it.

And Mr. Anti-Social made an astute observation. While people seemed to really enjoy my dish (it was almost completely gone by the time we left), a lot of them were still voting for their friends. (This is one of those fund-raising type cookoffs, where you can vote as often as you want, and each vote costs a few bucks.) I never vote more than once, and actually ask my friends to vote what they think are the best three dishes, whether or not mine is one of them. So I was not shocked to see that I didn't place, although Mr. Anti-Social was. Eh. Whatever. I know I did well. But we were both shocked not just by the winning dish, which neither of us were all that impressed with, but by the fact that this one dessert dish, which we were blown away by, did not even place. Hell, it was so good, I voted for it over my OWN dish.

But whatever. A fun pre-birthday day. Had several glasses of sangria, and then came home and did.....nothing but more laying around, watching tv, and futzing around on the computer. Which I most certainly will NOT be doing tomorrow, so it's all good.

And now, it's 4 am, I don't have to wake up at any particular time tomorrow, so I am going to enjoy just one beer (I have not had a beer since I was cooking the paella, nor any alcoholic drink since I left the cookoff), before I crash.

Of course, the beer in question is a 25 ounce bottle and is 10.5% alcohol by volume....but it's still just ONE beer.

:cheers:

(Thanks for letting me ramble about pretty much nothing, by the way.)

[monolayth]

Hope you are enjoying your birthday.

[tollbaby]

Any music site that doesn't have songs by Heart is a music site that doesn't have me as a listener. I mean, come on, it's not like my favorite band is some obscure never-heard-of group out of Kenosha, Wisconsin or anything. :lol:

And what's wrong with Kenosha, Wisconsin? :) (that's the next town over from where the boyfriend lives).

Last.fm isn't a bad site for finding music. Heart has played here five times in the last three years... ever want to catch them on the fly, they're usually here (Ottawa, Canada).

Ok, having now read your "after" post, I must try to EAT, if not COOK paella.... (This is why when I'm pressed for time, I buy my shrimp de-veined if not shelled outright!)

[Jester]

Hope you are enjoying your birthday.

So far, so good, though I have not done shit. Just staying in so far, but currently enjoying a Weihenstephaner Korbinian, one of the greatest beers ever, and after that, gonna shower, get dressed, and go downtown to see what trouble I can find between now and dinner.

And what's wrong with Kenosha, Wisconsin?

Not a damn thing is wrong with it, as far as I know, though I have never been there. That being said, can you name any famous bands from there?

I rest my case.

Last.fm isn't a bad site for finding music. Heart has played here five times in the last three years... ever want to catch them on the fly, they're usually here (Ottawa, Canada).

I'll stick to driving to West Palm Beach, thank you very much. (They're also playing two days later in Tampa.) Much easier than flying all the way to Canada. Besides, not sure if that country would even let me in. :whistle:

Ok, having now read your "after" post, I must try to EAT, if not COOK paella.... (This is why when I'm pressed for time, I buy my shrimp de-veined if not shelled outright!)

I love paella, and done right, it is an extraordinary dish, among my favorites. Sadly, it is rare to find it at a restaurant.

As for getting the shrimp de-veined or de-shelled, they were not available in that form at the store I was at, unless I wanted them small and pre-cooked (and I wanted them neither of those), and I was kind of in a time crunch. Besides, these shrimp were FRESH Key West Pinks. And that is a great thing!

[Jester]

Well, shit.

First bad thing for my birthday happened. Cute girl who I've been drooling over for months, who actually is now a coworker of mine, rather than just a regular at The Bar as she was, who was GOING to come out to dinner with us, just told me that now she won't be able to make it, but maybe she'll see me out and about. Translation: I probably won't see her at all.

Well, poo.

Okay, enough self-pity....back to the beer! :)

[MoonCat]

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfN4_52loC4

Happy Birthday! The above is the Paella episode of Posh Nosh, in case you haven't seen it...enjoy!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Today I celebrated your birthday by getting dinner from my favorite over-priced cash-only Italian place. It was delicious. :D

[XCashier]

:bday: :party: :cheers:

Have a happy one, Jester!

[Akasa]

Happy birthday Jester!

[Jester]

Thank you all. I currently have a hangover the size of Alaska, and am missing my glasses, which is a bad thing. I woke up on the couch fully dressed sans glasses, and can't find them. I have my old glasses and my contacts, but I am going to be really pissed if I lost my glasses, something I've never done, as that is a $300 mistake.

The above is the Paella episode of Posh Nosh, in case you haven't seen it...enjoy!

I've never even heard of Posh Nosh, so this should be interesting!

Today I celebrated your birthday by getting dinner from my favorite over-priced cash-only Italian place. It was delicious. :D

Sounds lovely. And now I want pasta.

And my glasses. Seriously, where the fuck ARE they?

[Jester]

Update: Still have not found my motherfucking glasses. They were not, in fact, at the bar that I was last spotted at, that I have no memory of being at, that when I called told me they had a pair of glasses, but when I got there we discovered that they were not MY glasses.

I've called both cab companies in town, both of which told me to check in with them tomorrow. I've called some bars I was at, including the last one where I was photographed wearing my glasses (and, apparently, dozing off). No one's seen them. Somehow I got home. No one knows how. Apparently all my friends left me by the last bar I was photographed at, and yet somehow, I made it to yet another bar, and no one knows with who or who, nor how I got home. I'm assuming I took a cab home, but don't know that for certain. Somehow I got really fucked up. I woke up, fully clothed, but without my goddamn glasses.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY GLASSES?!?!??! I can't believe I would have made a $300 mistake like that. I just want my fucking glasses back. This is ridiculous.

Luckily, I still have my contacts, and my old glasses, but damn it, I want the new ones.

And no, I didn't get laid last night, for anyone who's interested. Not that I would remember it.

Fuck.

[ParkingWitch]

I'll vote that the couch ate them.

[Jester]

I have looked on the couch, in the couch, under the couch, behind the couch. No glasses. If the couch ate them, it is doing a damn good job of hiding them. I have performed a couchectomy and come up glassessless.

And now I am getting a lecture from my little sister about how, if I don't want bad things to happen for me for being a drunken idiot, perhaps I shouldn't be a drunken idiot.

I told her precisely where she could stick her judgmental lectures, and it was not Slovenia.

This is not my biggest fuck up as a drunk. It may end up being, however, the most expensive. This is so fucked up. How the flying hell did I lose my motherfucking glasses?

ARGH!

[Mikkel]

If the glasses aren't smashed, they will probably be turned in somewhere. Here somewhere would be at the nearest police station.
I got lost keys, glasses and purses turned in at my shop regularly. If there weren't any clues to the owner, I'd bring them to the police as soon as I had time. Usually next weekend.
Don't give up hope.

[Becks]

Did you check your pockets?

The Jestermobile?

Your friends' vehicles?

In a random shoe?

Refrigerator?

[MoonCat]

And no, I didn't get laid last night, for anyone who's interested. Not that I would remember it.

Well, there goes my theory...I thought perhaps some young lovely was walking around town wearing your glasses as a trophy...:devil:

[Jester]

Still no glasses, though a little more info has come to light. I finally talked to the bartender who was working the last bar anyone I've talked to saw me at, and she checked her phone and found a picture she took of me snoozing, and I did still have my glasses on. And apparently a friend of mine yelled at me to go home since I was out cold, and I said okay, got up, and left. And between there and waking up on my couch, the world is a complete blank. I have called said friend and left a voicemail, though I doubt he'll be able to shed any more light on the situation than the bartender did. She said that there were not any glasses left on the bar last night, so presumably I left with them on my head.

Both cab companies in town have been called repeatedly, but so far no eyeglasses turned in.

Did you check your pockets?

Of course. 800 times.

The Jestermobile?

I rode a bike downtown so that I would not even have the chance to make a bad judgment call. And I have been in the J-car several times since then, and have not seen my glasses. Though to be fair, I wasn't looking for them. But I'm pretty sure I would have noticed them.

Your friends' vehicles?

All my friends that I've talked to claim to have left me by the bar previous to the one I was last seen at. No one claims to have driven me home, or have my glasses.

In a random shoe?

Noooo....but since we had to tear apart the living room the other morning to get ready for the carpet guy that never came, and that included moving the shoe rack with all our shoes.....no.

Refrigerator?

Didn't look specifically for my glasses in there, but have been in and out of it a thousand times, especially since I'm cooking my chili today. No glasses. Freezer either.

Well, there goes my theory...I thought perhaps some young lovely was walking around town wearing your glasses as a trophy...:devil:

Certainly a possibility, though it was not from seducing me into her bed.

These facts remain: I had them at the P. I did not have them when I woke up on my couch. I do not remember being at the P, nor anything between the P and home. Who KNOWS where I was between the two places. But somewhere out there, in some condition, are my glasses.

What a fuck up.

[Becks]

You need better handlers/friends and old lady glasses chains. :p

[Jester]

You need better handlers/friends and old lady glasses chains. :p

Yes. And HELL no.

[Becks]

When your glasses make an appearance, I expect a text.

[Jester]

A new clue came to light, more information developed....and still, no glasses.

As I do from time to time to balance my accounts, I accessed my bank account online. And noticed something from the night of the whole drunken birthday thing. A withdrawal from an ATM at one of our local gentlemen's clubs. In other words, a titty bar.

Well now. This was interesting. As I had had no idea I had been at said bar. And I am not generally one for such bars anymore, as usually, they bore me. But apparently this one had not bored me that night, because while money was withdrawn from the on-premise ATM, I did not wake up with that much money in my wallet. It seemed obvious that I must have spent said cash in said establishment. Not optimal, I know, but still cheaper than new glasses if my glasses turned out to be at said place.

I called, but didn't get much from the manager other than a "let me take your name and number and if anything turns up, we'll call." Well, screw that. I hopped in the Jestermobile and headed downtown to investigate in person.

I quickly found a metered spot a quick walk from the bar, with money still on the meter. A positive omen!

The first bartender I questioned had not worked that night, nor had she seen any eyeglasses behind the bar, and she had worked just about every night since, nor were there any there when she checked after I told her the sordid tale. Well, hell.

I then approached the DJ, thinking maybe someone had turned them in to him. He, too, had not worked that evening, and knew me from around town, so checked the DJ stand just in case. Nada. Heading into the other half of the bar, I asked the bartender at that bar the same queries. While she had not been there either than night, the security guy talking to her had. Not only that, he remembered me!

Well, hot damn! Maybe we can shed some light on what happened.

I knew from my financial records that I had made the withdrawal at 1:15 am, though how I was still upright and conscious considering my oft-reported condition at the P bar was a mystery. In any case, according to the bouncer, I had come in, and had been chatting with the bartender on duty that night, who after he described her, I realized it was a girl I had known for years. He said that at that time, I was wearing my glasses.

He went on to describe as I nodded off at the bar, and was basically snoozing there. Normally he would have tossed me immediately, but since the bartender knew me and vouched for me, he let me stay.

Apparently I woke up enough to get some dances from a couple of the dancers. According to the bouncer, they were hot Russian girls, too. Sadly, I remember none of this. The last time I paid for dances and don't remember anything about getting them was TWENTY YEARS AGO, on my 21st birthday. :wtf: Sad, so sad.

After that, I went back to dozing at the bar, until finally he had to ask me to leave, as they were closing. I went out into the courtyard, which is part of another bar in the complex, and apparently dozed at a table for another hour or so, until they were closing up THAT bar, and he heard over the radio that they had told me to leave, and I left. (He knew it was me when they described over the radio the guy "snoozing.")

That would have been around 3-4 am, if those particular bars were closing. Maybe as late as 5 am, depending upon when they spotted me.

The bouncer was great tonight, and not only checked behind all the bars in the courtyard area, but also in the manager's office.

Nada. No glasses.

I even stopped in at the pizza joint near the exit and a bar I frequent right around the corner from there and inquired, and neither one of them had my glasses. Nor did yet another bar I may have wandered up to after all this, though they were almost definitely closed by that time.

All in all, everyone was surprisingly helpful and friendly. But even with all this new information, questions remain.

Where did I go after they threw me out of the courtyard?
How did I get home? I presume a taxi, as it could neither have been my truck, which I had left at home, nor my bicycle, which was still locked up downtown near the P bar.
And where the flying hell are my glasses?

The dozing off part is not out of character. The getting dances, losing that much of my memory from the night, and losing my glasses, however, are very much out of character.

And I had such high hopes that I had finally cracked the mystery, too. Damn it.

Chances are I left them in the cab and the driver just tossed them, rather than turn them in.

Fuck.

I still have no idea how or why I got as drunk as I did off what little I drank. Very, very odd.

[Mikkel]

How many taxi companies do you have in Key West? You could try calling them.

[NateTheChops]

Happy B-day. And it looks like your Bacay is going to be far more productive and far less attractive to the police/FBI/US Airforce than mine was.

[Jester]

How many taxi companies do you have in Key West? You could try calling them.

Two. And I have. Repeatedly.

Happy B-day. And it looks like your Bacay is going to be far more productive and far less attractive to the police/FBI/US Airforce than mine was.

Thank you....and I have no idea what you're talking about re the police.

Notes on the concert coming soon.....

[NateTheChops]

Lets just say mine involved swords in a public area.

[Jester]

Update: 12 days after my birthday, I am admitting defeat....the glasses are GONE. At this point, with them not having shown up in any bar I was at, and having tracked my movement to a bar I left at about 3 or 4 am with my glasses (according to witnesses), and with the cab companies and police telling me that no one has turned them in....it's time to admit I Fucked Up.

Ah, hell.

Live and learn, I guess.