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Seraph
04-09-2012, 01:32 PM
Stick won.

For Easter, I managed to slightly impale my calf onto a stick. Best part was that my husband didn't understand what was going on, and proceeded to walk away without me. And then stopped halfway across the field we were traversing, asked what happened, and then continued again.

And then stopped on the other side of the field and asked "Wait, does this mean you want a first aid kit?"

After waiting about five minutes, I realized he wasn't coming back, even though I'd replied in the affirmative, LOL. So I hobbled across the field to his grandma's house, after pulling the stick out (stupid thing ruined my one good pair of khaki pants too!), and kinda flopped in the hallway, whimpering.

Hubby's grandma proceeded to march me to the bathroom, for first aid.

- slightly squicky part, highlight for it-

where she pulled the puncture open and then poured hydrogen peroxide straight in. That was both painful and extremely weird feeling, with all the bubbles forming INSIDE THE CALF. /geh

During it all, she told me to suck it up, she'd seen worse. :roll: Hardcore grandma is hardcore!

Stick only went in a little over half an inch, maaaaybe 3/4", by my guess, can't really tell, but its painful as get out.

I did, however, go back for said stick (was easy to find, it had blood on it, LOL), and proceeded to smack it against a tree trunk to break it out of revenge.


....wherein one of the pieces ricocheted off and pinged me in the face. :<



STUPID STICKS.

KiaKat
04-09-2012, 02:39 PM
It is a Stick of Ebil and must be DESTROYED.

You must take it to the fires of Mount Doom and dispose of it there.

LillFilly
04-09-2012, 03:24 PM
It is a Stick of Ebil and must be DESTROYED.

You must take it to the fires of Mount Doom and dispose of it there.

Sooo, did you burn it or feed it to a beaver afterward? Hmm, but then the beaver might get a taste for blood and become mutant killer beaver!

Seraph
04-09-2012, 03:35 PM
Hmm, but then the beaver might get a taste for blood and become mutant killer beaver!

And then it will BITE YOU IN THE LEG.

lordlundar
04-09-2012, 07:17 PM
To start off with, :hug:. That must have hurt.

Second, (and I say this with care and sincerity) Seraph, you are a KLUTZ!:p

Seraph
04-09-2012, 07:18 PM
Second, (and I say this with care and sincerity) Seraph, you are a KLUTZ!:p

Understatement of the Year 2012.

Dytchdoctir
04-09-2012, 07:26 PM
I did, however, go back for said stick (was easy to find, it had blood on it, LOL), and proceeded to smack it against a tree trunk to break it out of revenge.

When I started to read this part, I thought you were going to say you went to get the stick in order to whack your husband (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxAPoVi79wA)upside the head with it. :devil:

Jay 2K Winger
04-09-2012, 08:01 PM
Second, (and I say this with care and sincerity) Seraph, you are a KLUTZ!:p

She serves up so much PWNAGE on a regular basis that the Law of Averages states the deficiencies must come somewhere.

I give you: Seraph, Enemy of Nature.

Seraph
04-09-2012, 08:32 PM
That would explain why nature has tried to kill me on so many occasions... <.<

sms001
04-09-2012, 08:41 PM
Sooo, did you burn it or feed it to a beaver afterward?

Yes, because her first two encounters with the stick went SO well! :rolleyes:

[Seraph's Area News:]

"A local woman was found cowering in a drainage ditch, surrounded by rabid beavers, apparently in an effort to avoid immolation after her attempt at burning A STICK went awry, resulting in a county-wide brush fire. Film at 11."

Hope you heal quickly S, and Go Team Grandma!

DeltaSierra
04-10-2012, 12:44 AM
Evil stick indeed! So glad it wasn't worse - I had a piece of bamboo as thick as my thumb go several inches up my thigh last summer (there's a thread about it here).

Keep it clean!

Nurian
04-10-2012, 01:42 AM
I'm sorry, Seraph. This is what I thought of when I read this :D

Forgive me! (http://www.goblinscomic.com/07252005/)

Seraph
04-10-2012, 01:56 AM
[Seraph's Area News:]

"A local woman was found cowering in a drainage ditch, surrounded by rabid beavers, apparently in an effort to avoid immolation after her attempt at burning A STICK went awry, resulting in a county-wide brush fire. Film at 11."


I just about fell out of my chair laughing. :roll:

I'm sorry, Seraph. This is what I thought of when I read this :D

Forgive me! (http://www.goblinscomic.com/07252005/)

D: NOT MY EYES!

Seshat
04-10-2012, 02:41 AM
For future reference, re puncture wounds:

* Leave the object in the wound. I'm not kidding: the object can be blocking an otherwise damaged blood vessel. Also, the act of removing the object tells the doctor how deep the wound is, and what infectious substances might have entered the body.

* Wrap enough bandaging or clean fabric around the wound to keep the puncturing object still and blood flow slowed if not stopped.

* Take patient directly to a doctor.

Source: 'Australian First Aid' by St Johns' Ambulance. As filtered by me. Also, it's an old edition. If Panacea or one of our other medicos gives updated advice, believe them instead.


See, the problem with puncture wounds is that they can have deep infections, rather than surface infections. Most people can treat everyday surface infections with no problems - which is why I don't bother with the above for splinters and other 'puncture' injuries that don't fully break the skin.


Anyway: Seraph? Hon? I'm pretty sure you live in the US so this might be costlier advice than you would like, but ... take the wound to a doctor. Please!

Seraph
04-10-2012, 04:41 AM
For future reference, re puncture wounds:

* Leave the object in the wound. I'm not kidding: the object can be blocking an otherwise damaged blood vessel. Also, the act of removing the object tells the doctor how deep the wound is, and what infectious substances might have entered the body.

<snippers>

Anyway: Seraph? Hon? I'm pretty sure you live in the US so this might be costlier advice than you would like, but ... take the wound to a doctor. Please!

You'd think after reading Where the Red Fern Grows, I'd know that first part. /facepalm

And yeah, taking it to the doc would be extremely costly to us right now, so unfortunately....gonna wing it for a bit. I've been keeping the wound clean, and monitoring closely for any redness or soreness, beyond the whole "ouchies, fresh-ish wound" thing. I've had a surprisingly disturbing amount of infected cuts/wounds/gashes before, so thankfully, I know what signs to keep an eye out for. And I promise you, if any of them so much as PEEP, I'm heading to a doc.

Food Lady
04-10-2012, 05:25 AM
Seraph, I thought I was a klutz! And the title made me :lol:

kpzra
04-10-2012, 05:33 AM
I'm hoping to NEVER top my stupidest hurt yet of falling out of an ambulance I was doing a clinical in and getting 8 staples in my knee...although kicking my husbands ACU pants came close when his auto opener went into my foot and I got 6 stitches. I just had to kick them twice. /sarcasm

Just keep an eye on it and get it looked at if you have any sign of infection.

Der Cute
04-10-2012, 05:43 AM
I think there should be a warning : Possible Impalement on all pieces of wood on the ground.

BroSCFischer
04-10-2012, 11:50 AM
I think there should be a warning : Possible Impalement on all pieces of wood on the ground.

Yeah, you should complain to corporate. And sue. :p

SC

fireheart
04-10-2012, 12:39 PM
aaaaand Seshat beat me to the advice.
As far as I'm aware, that's mostly up to date (little sister has had to do First Aid as part of her Venturer training (sort of the next step up from Scouts down here)).

In fact, I was doing a First Aid class at school around the time that Steve Irwin died and someone in my class theorised that had Steve Irwin not pulled the barb out of his chest, there was a possibility that he could have survived.

ETA: I wound up thinking of this little poem that was in a book my dad bought me when I was a baby. It was from the UK and sort of ran in the vein of "This is the House that Jack built" except that a pig was meant to "goo", but it wouldn't. So the farmer gets different things to try and get the pig to "goo" which builds up over time into this Rube-Goldberg-esque situation.

CloserToSane
04-10-2012, 03:28 PM
Seraph I think we'd get along well... only the universe might implode if we were too close from all the klutz. I fall and/or trip at least once a week - fell off a coach once.

fireheart this (http://www.fairy-tales.biz/Nursery-Rhyme-for-Children/I-went-to-market-and-bought-me-a-pig-best-ever-Nursery-Rhymes-Fairy-Tales.htm) one by chance? I really liked it as a kid.

fireheart
04-10-2012, 11:44 PM
fireheart this (http://www.fairy-tales.biz/Nursery-Rhyme-for-Children/I-went-to-market-and-bought-me-a-pig-best-ever-Nursery-Rhymes-Fairy-Tales.htm) one by chance? I really liked it as a kid.

YEs that's the one! Thank you!

I was going somewhere with my post last night, I was v. tired from submitting an essay through our uni's system.

Racket_Man
04-11-2012, 07:02 AM
:roll:OHHHHH the Elder wand has come back from the grave to haunt you Seraph :D:lol:

Seraph
04-11-2012, 12:51 PM
:roll:OHHHHH the Elder wand has come back from the grave to haunt you Seraph :D:lol:

I confess I have no idea what this means, but I assume its a stick I offended somehow in the past :roll:

KiaKat
04-11-2012, 02:00 PM
It's a Harry Potter reference.

You've never read Harry Potter? SHAAAAAAAAAAAME. We can no longer be friends.



(ok, we can still be friends. but i reserve the right to make fun of you constantly.)

Seraph
04-11-2012, 04:13 PM
Oh Kia, there's a very, very good reason why I haven't ever read that series. Trust me on that. <.<

Jetfire
04-11-2012, 07:33 PM
So I take it, it was a Mosscovered Twig (http://everquest.allakhazam.com/db/item.html?item=4) ?

Seraph
04-11-2012, 07:56 PM
So I take it, it was a Mosscovered Twig (http://everquest.allakhazam.com/db/item.html?item=4) ?

Holy nostalgia, Batman! :eek:

KiaKat
04-11-2012, 07:57 PM
Oh Kia, there's a very, very good reason why I haven't ever read that series. Trust me on that. <.<

See, now, you can't just leave it at that.

WE DEMAND STORYTIME.

Seraph
04-11-2012, 08:01 PM
This is something I literally, will not, ever, will not post online. SOWWIES. XD Ask Peds if you don't believe me, lol.

taurinejunkie
04-11-2012, 08:09 PM
You might not want to post it; but if you told Peds, I'm pretty sure we'll know everything.















SOON.

Seraph
04-12-2012, 12:50 AM
Possibly, but it'll never, ever show up on the forums. I made him promise. =P

dalesys
04-13-2012, 02:55 AM
I think there should be a warning : Possible Impalement on all pieces of wood on the ground.
Nobody else can think of an alternative reading for this?:eek:

RayvenQ
04-13-2012, 03:21 AM
Seraph Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Stick

:lol:

Der Cute
04-13-2012, 09:37 AM
Nobody else can think of an alternative reading for this?:eek:

Dale... quit twiggin' over this. You're irrationally branching out over wood - just leaf it alone.

fireheart
04-13-2012, 10:12 AM
Seraph Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Stick

:lol:

So episode 1 was The Stick-em Menace, Episode II was Attack Of the Sticks, Episode IV was A New Stick, Episode V was The Stick Strikes Back and Episode VI was Return Of the Stick?

Seraph
04-13-2012, 02:57 PM
Rayv's referring to the fact that I got stabbed in the OTHER LEG by a stick yesterday.

Apparently Stick #1's family put out an inter-state hit on my legs.

This time I was wearing jeans, so it didn't puncture, but it left a nice gash across the front of my other calf.

Jay 2K Winger
04-13-2012, 03:01 PM
I was right.

Ladies and gentlemen and things, I present to you:

Seraph, Web Design Goddess, Nemesis of Ebay, and Enemy of Nature.

Seraph
04-13-2012, 03:21 PM
You have no idea how accurate that last one is. :P Incredibly so.

Food Lady
04-13-2012, 04:09 PM
I do now! What's the next installment in the Seraph vs series?

Crossbow
04-13-2012, 05:43 PM
I do now! What's the next installment in the Seraph vs series?

Seraph vs. the Cute Fluffy Bunnies?
Seraph vs. the Squirrels of Doom?
Seraph vs. the Vicious Leaf of Anghmar?


I'm stopping now before it becomes Seraph vs. Crossbow. I *KNOW* I'll lose that one. :D

Seraph
04-13-2012, 05:44 PM
....now I know I need to stay away from crossbows

Crossbow
04-13-2012, 06:41 PM
Trust me. Crossbows ain't natural. :D

KiaKat
04-13-2012, 07:02 PM
ooo! OOOO! SQUIRRELS OF DOOM! I VOTE SQUIRRELS!

HAY SERAPH, YOU HAFTA GO ANTAGONIZE A SQUIRREL NOW!

Jay 2K Winger
04-13-2012, 07:44 PM
ooo! OOOO! SQUIRRELS OF DOOM! I VOTE SQUIRRELS!

HAY SERAPH, YOU HAFTA GO ANTAGONIZE A SQUIRREL NOW!

ARE YOU MAD?! THEM SQUIRRELS ARE CRAZY! NO ONE PROVOKES THEM WITH IMPUNITY!!

KiaKat
04-14-2012, 12:46 AM
ARE YOU MAD?!

...

...

...

*checks posting history*

Yup.

Seraph
04-14-2012, 02:34 AM
I think that attacking squirrels....<puts on sunglasses>....would be nuts.

cashierbex
04-14-2012, 03:38 AM
Seraph vs. the Cute Fluffy Bunnies?


I know a bunny Seraph can play with thats cute and fluffy but evil :devil:

dalesys
04-14-2012, 01:33 PM
I know a bunny Seraph can play with thats cute and fluffy but evil :devil:
It wouldn't be a certain mini-lop with a switchblade? (http://sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/970831):D

Jay 2K Winger
04-14-2012, 04:41 PM
I think that attacking squirrels....<puts on sunglasses>....would be nuts.

She put on the Sunglasses of Justice(tm)! Cue it!

http://local-static2.forum-files.fobby.net/forum_attachments/0024/9212/csi_yeah_skyline.jpg