Weird Questions

[Misty]

What's the weirdest question a customer has ever asked you? A question that causes your brain to grind to a halt as if someone threw a monkey wrench into the gears, and you just stand there and blink in confusion?

The other day a woman ordered some frozen yogurt to take home to her son. Once I swirled the yogurt, I asked her what toppings she wanted. She replied with this question:

"What toppings are good for a boy?"

That really had me :headscratch: because I never really thought of yogurt toppings as being gender specific. After a moment, I decided to fight weird with weird.

Me: How old is your son?

Customer: He's fourteen.

Me: Oh, in that case I would recommend crushed Oreos. Boys his age love Oreos. I've also noticed that our chocolate covered pretzels are quite popular."

Customer: Okay, I'll have both, please.

On a side note, I have noticed that young children (under 10) really love adding chocolate to chocolate; they'll top chocolate yogurt with three or four different chocolate toppings, and then cover the whole thing in chocolate sauce. Other than that, I can't say I've noticed any other pattern.

[Mytical]

Gender specific..toppings? :confused:

Warning, warning, warning..main processor failure...this is not a drill. Mytical's head will explode in 3...2....1

[Plague*Star]

What's the weirdest question a customer has ever asked you?


Cust: (holds up T-shirt) "do you have this in a size between "Small" and "Medium"?
Me: I.....don't think so (thinks "smedium T-shirt"?)

P*S

[Juggler]

ME: On Phone Hello, [Street name] books.
CALLER: What is the name of your store?
ME: [Street name] books.
CALLER: What street are you on?
ME: [Street name]
CALLER: Do you sell wigs?

I don't remember what happened after that because that last question gave me an aneurysm or embolism or some kind of bad vascular head thing.

[thehuckster]

When I was a certain age, I only liked the plain brown sprinkles rather than the rainbow sprinkles because I found the brown sprinkles more "manly."

As for weirdest questions, I guess the weirdest was when I was at CVS and I was asked where the deli counter was. He was shocked that our drugstore didn't have a deli.

[depechemodefan]

Every day I have weird questions.

I remember one person called, asking if "pissed" was in the Bible. Another person asks things like "Remember "Castle Grey Skull? Was He-Man half human?" or "when people land on Mars, who will own Mars?" or "what are phasers made out of?" or"Was the (some thing) on Stargate infront of the ship of behind the ship."

Today's weird question was "If a piece of a rib is missing, will that piece grow back?" Luckily it did not become a religious question.

Oh, two people called on different occasions, (might have been the same woman) wanting us to diagnois a problem. "Something is coming out of my butt. Should I go to the doctor? Can you tell me what it could be?"

A cw had a caller ask, "how do you make a woman come?" Cw misunderstood what the asshole was saying and responded, "did you call her name?"

[RealUnimportant]

Cust: (holds up T-shirt) "do you have this in a size between "Small" and "Medium"?
Me: I.....don't think so (thinks "smedium T-shirt"?)

P*S
You need Extra-Medium™ (XM™), for sizes both between Small & Medium and between Medium & Large. Good luck keeping the piles seperated...

[Rainman]

Lol, I have a good one, but I am pretty sure only those familiar with Dungeons and Dragons will get it. This question came from a couple who were regulars at the steakhouse I worked at. They were expecting a baby.

Father: Hey rainman, what do you think of the name Drizzt Do'Urden?

Rainman: Like the dark elf from DnD? Its a good name I guess, why?

Mother: Father and I were thinking of naming our baby Drizzt, cool huh?

Rainman: :eek: . . . . um. . . . well . . . . hey its your baby guys. . . :D

A few months later, I got to meet little Drizzt, yep, they went through with it :cry:

[cinema guy]

Oh, two people called on different occasions, (might have been the same woman) wanting us to diagnois a problem. "Something is coming out of my butt. Should I go to the doctor? Can you tell me what it could be?"

Poo?

A cw had a caller ask, "how do you make a woman come?" Cw misunderstood what the asshole was saying and responded, "did you call her name?"

:rotflmao:

[dalesys]

A cw had a caller ask, "how do you make a woman come?"
I gair-roan-tee: Not by whistling at her.

[mharbourgirl]

Lol, I have a good one, but I am pretty sure only those familiar with Dungeons and Dragons will get it. This question came from a couple who were regulars at the steakhouse I worked at. They were expecting a baby.

Father: Hey rainman, what do you think of the name Drizzt Do'Urden?

Rainman: Like the dark elf from DnD? Its a good name I guess, why?

Mother: Father and I were thinking of naming our baby Drizzt, cool huh?

Rainman: :eek: . . . . um. . . . well . . . . hey its your baby guys. . . :D

A few months later, I got to meet little Drizzt, yep, they went through with it :cry:

:headdesk:

And these are the very same people who claim to love their kids. It's shit like this that is the reason I never, EVER tell people my middle name. My last name pulled me enough grief in grade school, beginning with 'Cow-' as it does.

[Argabarga]

:headdesk:

And these are the very same people who claim to love their kids. It's shit like this that is the reason I never, EVER tell people my middle name. My last name pulled me enough grief in grade school, beginning with 'Cow-' as it does.

Sometimes I look at a person's name and wonder, what could they have done, apparently in the womb, to make their parents do THAT to them?! Have these folks never been to an elementary school? 3rd graders aren't that many rings up the social ladder from cannibals!

[mhkohne]

Sometimes I look at a person's name and wonder, what could they have done, apparently in the womb, to make their parents do THAT to them?! Have these folks never been to an elementary school? 3rd graders aren't that many rings up the social ladder from cannibals!

My wife is a teacher, so we were kind of careful about naming the kids sonthatnthey didn't take too much grief on that score.

[Mike Taylor]

When I was a certain age, I only liked the plain brown sprinkles rather than the rainbow sprinkles because I found the brown sprinkles more "manly."

As for weirdest questions, I guess the weirdest was when I was at CVS and I was asked where the deli counter was. He was shocked that our drugstore didn't have a deli.

How old was this gentleman? Some really old family run drugstores have some kind of a food/soda/ice cream counter.

Weirdest question I'd ever heard of from a customer at the Big Yellow Price Tag was "Where do you keep the cranberry juice?" I can only assume this elderly lady had confused us with the Costco at the other end of the property.

[Mike Taylor]

Lol, I have a good one, but I am pretty sure only those familiar with Dungeons and Dragons will get it. This question came from a couple who were regulars at the steakhouse I worked at. They were expecting a baby.

Father: Hey rainman, what do you think of the name Drizzt Do'Urden?

Rainman: Like the dark elf from DnD? Its a good name I guess, why?

Mother: Father and I were thinking of naming our baby Drizzt, cool huh?

Rainman: :eek: . . . . um. . . . well . . . . hey its your baby guys. . . :D

A few months later, I got to meet little Drizzt, yep, they went through with it :cry:

Man, that ranks pretty high on the list of Bad Baby Names. I'm a gamer myself and would never inflict a name like that on my kid.

[Kanalah]

Hubs has some friends he want to college with who named their son Aragorn. And this was back in the late 70's.

Apparently he goes by "Gorny" now. :confused:

I think the weirdest question I've been asked is at a show. A lady asked for one of my quilts in a different size and when I explained that it would be a special order she said "Don't you have any in the back?"

I pushed a quilt aside from the rack, showing the wall of the building we were in (I'm always up against a wall in this show) and said "What back?"

We still joke about the "Rectal bag of holding".

[Merriweather]

Gender specific..toppings? :confused:

Warning, warning, warning..main processor failure...this is not a drill. Mytical's head will explode in 3...2....1

Pink & blue sprinkles? :roll:

Never noticed gender preferences, but age preferences, yeah. We have several of those Yogurt places where it's self serve, and you put your own toppings on, then pay by weight.

The youngest kids go for the gummy worms, older kids for candy bar related items. Most have dozens of toppings on variations of those for the kids. But one, which shares a building with a coffee place, is my favourite - they cater to the "older" crowd, flavours of frozen yogurt are a bit more sophisticated, gummty bears and such are minimally represented, with more fruit and exotic toppings, including a shelf full of things like chocolate dipped strawberries, teeny little mini-eclairs & tarts, etc.

[morwynskya]

Weirdest question?
Customer storms up to the counter, beet red in the face. "I've looked all through your phone book and there's not a single listing here for a naturopath!! ARGLEBARGLE!! RAWR!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???"

My reply?
"I'm sorry, ma-am - this is a used bookstore. I'm not in charge of QwestDex, the Yellow Pages or CenturyLink. And I'm happy to say I can't help you."

[dalesys]

"What toppings are good for a boy?"
A dash of girl!:D

[El Pollo Guerrera]

A cw had a caller ask, "how do you make a woman come?" Cw misunderstood what the asshole was saying and responded, "did you call her name?"

Actually, that can be part of the equation.





Calling SOMEONE ELSE'S name will end in disaster.

As for questions I've fielded, I did get a "How long will it take me to use this pen?" once...

And I did have a customer ask "What's the difference between the white one and the black one?" in regards to two identical items, but that's more of a brain fart.

[Jay 2K Winger]

:headdesk:

And these are the very same people who claim to love their kids. It's shit like this that is the reason I never, EVER tell people my middle name. My last name pulled me enough grief in grade school, beginning with 'Cow-' as it does.

My middle name gave me some grief at school as well. When I mentioned it in class once, one of my tormentors deliberately misheard it as "Kibble" and he and his cronies started calling me "Kibbles and Bits."

-_-;; I do not have fond memories of middle school.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

How old was this gentleman? Some really old family run drugstores have some kind of a food/soda/ice cream counter.

Many, many years ago when I was just a baby DGoddess, my mom worked for a local drugstore called Ben Franklin Drugs. The store she worked at had a downstairs level, which had a cafeteria/sandwich shop and gift shop. Hugely popular, but around the early 70's, the owner sold the store to the Rite Aid chain.

Unfortunately, even though they had customers who shopped their for YEARS and not only shopped the main level but also were regulars at the cafeteria, the first thing the chain did was . . .

If you guessed took out the cafeteria and gift shop, you get a cookie.

And they couldn't quite figure out why that location lost a LOT of business, even after it was pointed out to them. . . .:(

[Teefies2]

Had a customer last night who wanted a certain kind of cigarettes. She wanted a carton (10 packs). We didn't have a carton, but I offered to give her 10 packs for the carton price. Oh YES! she wanted this.

I then pulled all the packs we had of that kind of cigarette, and unfortunately, we only had 8. So I told her there were only 8. Her response? "Well I still want the carton price!"

Wait, what??? You want to pay the price of 10 packs when you only get 8??? :::brain goes xplodey:::

[Golden Phoenix]

Power Corp had a very lengthy IVR ( for accounts, 2 to pay your bill etc)

CW: Thank you for caling Power Corp Collections, can I take your account number?
Caller: Uh, Yeah, is this the Rape crisis line?
CW: :eek: ???

[BordersWonderTwin2]

I can't decide if the parents of little Drizzt are awesome or terrible for naming their child that. Both?

[Lovecats]

"Do you work here?" while I'm wearing red and khaki with a name tag and holding a pda with a walkie on my belt. Nope, I don't work here. Just like the look. Do you think I'm carrying it off?:rolleyes: Oh, and I forgot the part where I'm also wearing a shirt with the name of the store on it and she looked right at the name tag just before she asked.

[SourRobot]

"What kinds of clothes do teen girls wear?"

How the heck should I know, I don't pay attention!

Also,
"What size do I look?"
Wow, you're seriously asking me? You didn't even check the size of your clothing before getting dressed today? I can't tell what size people are just by looking at them.

[Syriilord]

*While working for a well known catalogue store*

Customer: Yeah, the girl at the checkout said they were sending down all the different types of *popular doll* you have in stock, so I can see if you have the one I want before I buy it.

Me: Okay, here are the 3 different versions we currently have. We don't have the others right now and don't know when we'll get more.

Customer: Hmmm. The one I want isn't here. Do you have any of the others

Me: *deadpan* No ma'am. These three are the only ones we have right now.

Customer: Well, do you know when you'll be getting more in?

Me: :doh:

[Jester]

"What kinds of clothes do teen girls wear?"

Slutty? :lol:

[Soulstealer]

Sometimes I look at a person's name and wonder, what could they have done, apparently in the womb, to make their parents do THAT to them?! Have these folks never been to an elementary school? 3rd graders aren't that many rings up the social ladder from cannibals!

I'd prefer the cannibals really.

[raksha_akasha]

*Working at a call center and talking to a customer about a cc refund*
Please note that customer sounded like a middle aged woman with a regular Southern accent.

"You're putting the money back on my card right?"

"Yes, ma'am. You're cc is being refunded and that will take about five to seven business days for your bank to process it through."

"I don't understand what you mean by refund! Are you putting my money back on the card or not?!"

[taxguykarl]

Sometimes I look at a person's name and wonder, what could they have done, apparently in the womb, to make their parents do THAT to them?! Dude, don't get me started on names!!! I have to have them precise or the IRS will kick the return back to us.:rolleyes:

My favorite odd query (other than can [fill in blank] be deducted?) went like this:

Me: [Opening spiel]
Caller: How much to get from [addy] to Midway? (http://www.flychicago.com/About/Midway/Default.aspx)
Me: Sir, we're a TAX not a taxi service.:rolleyes:

[thehuckster]

"Do you work here?" while I'm wearing red and khaki with a name tag and holding a pda with a walkie on my belt. Nope, I don't work here. Just like the look. Do you think I'm carrying it off?:rolleyes: Oh, and I forgot the part where I'm also wearing a shirt with the name of the store on it and she looked right at the name tag just before she asked.

Augh, in 2000 when I worked at CVS we had very conspicuous and easy-to-identify uniforms that consisted of a red smock, and a buttoned shirt and tie, with a nametag that had, in big bold letters "CVS", and people would look at me square in the face and ask that very question.

How old was this gentleman? Some really old family run drugstores have some kind of a food/soda/ice cream counter.

He was in his mid-thirties. I understand family-run drugstores can have extra amentities like that, but this was a small CVS in an indoor shopping mall. There was nothing mom-and-pop about it. It had your typical unhuman corporate qualities any fine CVS location has.

[cinema guy]

:headdesk:

And these are the very same people who claim to love their kids. It's shit like this that is the reason I never, EVER tell people my middle name. My last name pulled me enough grief in grade school, beginning with 'Cow-' as it does.

So your parents named you Cowabunga? :D

[EricKei]

Hey! What's wrong with a chocolate chocolate chocolate treat with chocolate on top? ;)
I remember one person called, asking if "pissed" was in the Bible. Well, a close variant of it was in Chaucer (in the Miller's Tale, iirc.)...in what my prof at the time called "one of the most well-written dirty jokes in the history of English language literature". :D She was fun.
"what are phasers made out of?"Explodium.
"Something is coming out of my butt. Should I go to the doctor? Can you tell me what it could be?"A turtle head. Either take my word for it or go see for yourself in the restroom. It's right over there...

As for questions I've fielded, I did get a "How long will it take me to use this pen?" once...
It will last until the exact moment that you have a brilliant, best-selling idea/joke/story in your head and cannot seem to locate ANY other writing implement in the entire house. It is at that point that the ink will run dry. If you have already written this idea down, the pen will snap in two and utterly obliterate whatever you just wrote down.


Also,
"What size do I look?"
"Sir/Madam, I have been around long enough to know that there IS no right answer to that question."

[Ironclad Alibi]

Hey! What's wrong with a chocolate chocolate chocolate treat with chocolate on top? ;)

Not enough chocolate.

[Lovecats]

"Do you work here?" while I'm wearing red and khaki with a name tag and holding a pda with a walkie on my belt. Nope, I don't work here. Just like the look. Do you think I'm carrying it off?:rolleyes: Oh, and I forgot the part where I'm also wearing a shirt with the name of the store on it and she looked right at the name tag just before she asked.
Ok, it happened again last night. Almost the same circumstances except I wasn't wearing a shirt with our store name on it but did have the name tag and all the other stuff.:confused:

[Gizmo]

"What size do I look?"
Wow, you're seriously asking me? You didn't even check the size of your clothing before getting dressed today? I can't tell what size people are just by looking at them.

I've done something almost as bad before:

*walks up to clerk* "Excuse me, this is going to sound strange but could you check the label of the jumper I'm wearing and tell me what size it is?".:devil:

I'd bought some long jumpers for work and went back in the same shop a few weeks later whilst wearing one of them to see they had more colours in stock... so wanted to buy more. However I know that some shops "large" is a UK size 14-16 and others its 22-24+. So since it was the same shop and the same style and I had forgotten which size I bought before asking that question was easier than actually taking my current one off/trying another one on!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Slutty? :lol:

My answer would be "skanky" but yours is just as good.:lol:

[SubwayGirl]

Some of the dumb questions I have gotten: How long is a footlong? If I buy 5 $5 footlongs how much will it cost before taxes? What kind of sauce is recommended for a Chicken Bacon Ranch? What kind of meat comes on a Chicken Bacon Ranch? Are your vegetables all home grown? Are your vegetables all organic? Can I get an M&M cookie with only red M&Ms?

I can go on and on!

[wolfie]

Some of the dumb questions I have gotten: How long is a footlong? If I buy 5 $5 footlongs how much will it cost before taxes? What kind of sauce is recommended for a Chicken Bacon Ranch? What kind of meat comes on a Chicken Bacon Ranch? Are your vegetables all home grown? Are your vegetables all organic? Can I get an M&M cookie with only red M&Ms?

I can go on and on!

Answers in order:
1) Approximately half a cubit.
2) A double sawbuck and a fin.
3) Anything except ranch.
4) Roast beef and pepperoni, obviously.
5) No, they were grown by the visiting team.
6) From a chemist's viewpoint, yes (the plants they grew on were carbon-based lifeforms, after all).
7) Yes, but I don't know where you'd go to get one.

Ask a stupid question, get a sarcastic answer.:devil:

[Freak]

The dumbest question I get asked regularly is "How do I get out of here?" Now, my department's on the basement floor, but our escalators are huge and easy to spot, and the floors aren't that big anyway, so you could always just take a little walk around and you'd find them in a jiffy. Seriously, how do these people function?

[Ironclad Alibi]

Can I get an M&M cookie with only red M&Ms?

The next time I make chocolate chip cookies with M&Ms I will be tempted to sort out all the colors and make single color M&M cookies.

[cashierbex]

"Are you ringing up?" while I ring a whole line up.

When I bring my pups in when I am off:
"Are those dogs?" No, they are birds that lack feathers and barks.

[RealUnimportant]

The dumbest question I get asked regularly is "How do I get out of here?" Now, my department's on the basement floor, but our escalators are huge and easy to spot, and the floors aren't that big anyway, so you could always just take a little walk around and you'd find them in a jiffy. Seriously, how do these people function?
Reading this reminded me of one of my favourite stories on NotAlwaysRight.com (http://notalwaysright.com/some-customers-never-let-you-down/4182):
Customer: “Where are the escalators and lifts?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. The lift is reserved for people who are unable to use the stairs, and there are no escalators. There is a staircase just over there, if that’s what you’re looking for”.

Customer: “But those are ‘down’ stairs. I need to go back up.”

Me: “Ma’am, stairs go both up and down. That is why we have stairs instead of escalators.”

Customer: “But I need to go upstairs, and you do don’t have any ‘up’ stairs. Are you trying to trap people here?”

Me: “You know what? Let me show you the lift”.

[Mike Taylor]

Many, many years ago when I was just a baby DGoddess, my mom worked for a local drugstore called Ben Franklin Drugs. The store she worked at had a downstairs level, which had a cafeteria/sandwich shop and gift shop. Hugely popular, but around the early 70's, the owner sold the store to the Rite Aid chain.

Unfortunately, even though they had customers who shopped their for YEARS and not only shopped the main level but also were regulars at the cafeteria, the first thing the chain did was . . .

If you guessed took out the cafeteria and gift shop, you get a cookie.

And they couldn't quite figure out why that location lost a LOT of business, even after it was pointed out to them. . . .:(

In my hometown, it was a place called Izzo's that did the reverse. When the pharmacist retired, they did away with everything but the fast food counter and became an ice cream and soda shop. Sadly, the economy recently took a turn for the really bad in my hometown and they shut their doors forever. It was one of the few places in town you could still get a milkshake made the old fashioned way.

[Mytical]

Anybody remember the old "Here's your Sign" bit? I think we need to bring them back for some of these SC's.

If your light is on, and you are standing at your till ready to ring somebody up and are asked. "Are you open?" You should feel free to reply "No, I'm not even on the clock right now..I just like to stand here on my free time. Here's your sign."

If you are in full store uniform, while stocking something and somebody asks. "Do you work here?" You should feel free to reply. "No I've just come from the local mental hospital..and I'm looking for blunt objects. Here's your sign."

Ok..my mind is acting weird..ignore the looney in the corner.

[fireheart]

Sometimes I look at a person's name and wonder, what could they have done, apparently in the womb, to make their parents do THAT to them?! Have these folks never been to an elementary school? 3rd graders aren't that many rings up the social ladder from cannibals!

I am currently at a Waldorf school for my placement.

In the class I have at the moment, I have the following slightly strange names:

Pierah, Tilly, Indigo, Fern, Trinity, Blaise and Phoenix.

None of them are related to each other. (all of them are girls apart from the last two)

In the class I was formerly teaching, I encountered the following names:

Mishaya and Aodaney.

At the swimming centre where I'm learning how to teach kids to swim, I have encountered the following (not all in the same class thank fuck):

Aida, Ida (those two were in the same class), Lois, Odin and one kid who called himself Amon :lol:.

My wife is a teacher, so we were kind of careful about naming the kids sonthatnthey didn't take too much grief on that score.

I'm going to be a teacher and already I am taking note of the more common names I've seen in the classroom and the pool so I know to be careful about strange names. Thankfully Freya and Odin seem to be decent-ish names :p


ETA: One of the weirdest requests I got at the supermarket back when plastic bags still existed, was "can I take about half a dozen of [the bags hanging on the racks] in this particular colour" (we were moving from brown to orange I think, she wanted the brown), because the bags matched her kitchen decor. My coworker and I were looking at each other like :wtf:?!

[Pizzacommando]

Mytical, we need to reach back in time a little bit to the beginning of the here's your sign bit, the part where stupid people should be required to wear signs warning others of their stupidity :devil:

[Jay 2K Winger]

Sometimes I look at a person's name and wonder, what could they have done, apparently in the womb, to make their parents do THAT to them?! Have these folks never been to an elementary school? 3rd graders aren't that many rings up the social ladder from cannibals!

Mom was recently looking up obituaries from the town she grew up in, and found one that mentioned a surviving relative, whose name was Kingthing.

Kingthing is half-black, half-Hispanic, for what it's worth.

I want prospective parents to always think five, ten, and fifteen years ahead before naming their kids, and consider if there are any potential insulting nicknames that a given name could inspire.

[RealUnimportant]

In the class I have at the moment, I have the following slightly strange names:

Pierah, Tilly, Indigo, Fern, Trinity, Blaise and Phoenix.

None of them are related to each other. (all of them are girls apart from the last two)
Blaise - for a boy? Gotta say I misread the first one as Pariah...

Fern's not so bad, it's not common but there's a 50+ ex-local news anchor/breakfast TV host/actor's daughter "celeb" in the UK with that name & spelling so it's not uncommon either.

[RealUnimportant]

Oh lordy...

"Can I buy, like, tickets here?"

:headdesk:

[vikingchyk]

Blaise - for a boy?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaise_Pascal :)

[RealUnimportant]

Live n learn... This forum is educational as well as relaxational!

[Ghel]

"Is this <Bank Name> in <Town that's 20 miles away>?"
or "Is this <Bank Name> in <Town that's 230 miles away>?"
No, we're in <Our Town>.
"Well, do you have their number?"

I can understand the confusion with the 3 banks basically having the same name, even though we're not affiliated. But you found our number using Google or directory assistance or whatever. You can damned well do the same again.