A dirty joke.....

[ArenaBoy]

I hope this doesn't offend but if it does, oh well.

Here goes: At a country club, there was a group of 4 guys who played golf together every weekend, one day one of them moved away. The group decided to keep playing and looked for someone to join them. A woman stepped, "I'll join if it's fine by you guys." The guys were doubtful at first but they let her join. "What time and day do we meet?" She asked. "We meet at 7:00 AM on Saturdays." The guys had replied.
"All right I arrive early, the latest being 6:45 AM."

The day that the group met the woman arrived around 6:30 AM. When the game was over the woman had broken the group's record in golf. The guys were impressed and asked her to join in again. She obliged stating the lastest she would be.

When they met up again, she arrived at the same time like last time, she decided to play using her left hand, she matched her previous score. Later on that day, one of the guys had to ask. "I'm impressed by your golfing abilities. How are you able to hit the ball with both hands?"

The woman replied "When I wake up next to my husband and he wakes up, I check to see what direction his d*** is pointing. If it's pointing to the right I use my right hand for golf, if it points to the left I use my left hand."

"What happens if it's pointing straight up?" One of the men asked.

"Then I'll be here at 6:45 AM." The woman responded.

[saint]

That one took me a minute.
heh.

[Ree]

Ooooh...dirty golf joke...OK, one of my favourites.

A lady goes to the golf course with her husband for the first time, and her game is terrible. Her husband decides to get some help from the golf pro, so he pays for an afternoon of lessons for her and then goes off to play his game.

The golf pro asks the woman to take a few swings so he can analyze her form and technique.

"I see your problem," he says, "You're too tense. You're gripping the club way too tight. Relax a bit and handle it more gently."

"How gently?" the lady asks.

"Well, think about your husband and when you're together in the bedroom. Hold the club just like you'd hold your husband's penis."

The woman listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway . . . about 15 ft.

"That was great," the pro says.
"Now, take the club out of your mouth and try it again!"

[Ackee]

Shocking! All of 15 mins huh.:)

[BookstoreEscapee]

Shocking! All of 15 mins huh.:)

hehe, I thought that too...poor woman :(

:p

[Caveat Emptor]

The owner of a brothel had a problem. Some of his "employees" didn't show up one night, so he was short-handed. Thinking quickly, he remembered most of his usual customers were not too bright, and the rooms were dark. He put blow-up sex dolls in the rooms. A customer came in, paid, and went to a room with one of the dolls.

A few minutes later, the customer comes out with a bewildered look.

"What happened?" asked the owner.

The customer replied "I don't know! I bit her on the tit, she farted and flew out the window!!"

[nhollywood]

An elephant was walking through the African wilderness when he gets a thorn embedded in his foot. He can't get it out and it's hurting immensely. He tries to get help but no one will come to his aid except an ant however the ant has one condition. "I'll help you but you must let me f**k you up the ass." The elephant refuses at first but the pain is too much. He finally agrees. The ant is successful in removing the thorn and it's the elephant's turn to "pay up". The ant crawls up the elephants tail and starts "going at it". The monkeys witness this from the trees and start laughing and throwing rocks. A rock hits the elephant in the head. "Ouch" the elephant replies.

The ant says "Take it all, bitch"