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View Full Version : Lupo's Shopping Shenanigans - REVIVED!! (*WEEPS!*)


lupo pazzesco
09-23-2013, 03:30 AM
I know, I know. I know what you’re thinking.

“But, Lupo,” you say, “You said the crazy magnet ISN’T in effect when you shop with someone else.”

That’s what I thought, but friends? Today…today was a red letter day. Today the immunity that comes from shopping in pairs FAILED. And thus, Shopping Shenanigans have been revived. Someone took a defibrillator and shouted “clear” across the universe until the crazy woke up and said “let’s do this shit”. And thus, the following stories were born.

Sad thing is, she WAS asking for decaf
Upon first arriving at the store with the Big Red Bullseye, xx_wolfie_xx and I stopped at the in-store starbucks. That was mistake number one.

The barista on duty took a large, complicated order. We’re talking 7 frappuccinos, a couple iced beverages, something shaken, something stirred, just all over the place. She starts on two of them, and then proceeds to call someone over to give her a lunch break. Great, awesome, fantastic. Really. So, two Bullseye employees come over and they don’t know how to work the coffee counter, but they struggle along. We’re waiting to give our order, and as we’re standing at the counter, she approaches.

She is an old woman, who has no concept of personal space. We’re explaining our order and she just looms. Gets up right next to wolfie, and just stands right in his space. I swear, I was wondering if I’d have to scream sexual assault on her, she was THAT close. We place our orders, and I have to angle myself around so she doesn’t get elbowed in the gut while I’m swiping my card, she’s literally that close. Same thing when wolfie tries to swipe his card.

The employees said nothing. No, in fact they were too busy talking about how they were so short handed and so irritating and they only worked the counter once, and yadda yadda yadda. So, wolfie and I are getting a bit irate, and contemplating elbowing granny in the gullet. She barks at the employee “Cappuccino! Decaf!”

He asks what size. She repeats “Cappuccino!! DECAF!!”

Aaaannnd apparently granny is deaf and rude. Awesome. Whatever, we just need to get over and get our drinks and…

And we’re getting crowded. Again. Oh lord. I’m VERY irate at this point. Worse so, because the crowd with the large order are now being nitpicky while picking up their drinks.

“No, I wanted the smaller one.” “Is this mocha? I thought I was getting chocolate chip!”

And on and on and on and on. Meanwhile granny is crowding once again next to the drink counter, and we’re getting shoved aside. I look at wolfie, and state that if she tries to get her order before ours…

I finally, FINALLY, go to the counter, and granny cuts me off AGAIN and waves her receipt at the employee “CAPPUCCINO, DECAF!!”

That’s it, I decide I’m finished, and I walk away before I become entirely impolite and commit violence upon the elderly. I go to start shopping while wolfie waits for our order. I’m able to hit different areas and I circled back to go to Starbucks after I realize it’s been far too long. I go back and wolfie is standing at the drink counter still, with an annoyed look on his face.

He informs me that cappuccino grandma got her drink first, and they lost my drink. By this point yet another employee is there making drinks and he said ours should be up next, though he did say the employee oh so kindly informed him “well, I’m not supposed to be HERE anyway...” So I tell him I’ll go ahead and get more shopping done.

Finally, at least half an hour after I’ve placed my order, wolfie brings me my iced chai tea latte with pumpkin spice. Mmmm, pumpkin spice. I take a huge swallow.

And gag.

It’s coffee.

I don’t DRINK coffee. I drink tea. I drink Chai tea. I drink chai tea with pumpkin spiced, dammit, where’s my pumpkin chai!?

There was some adult language from my boyfriend after he tried the drink as well, and he went back to Starbucks. Upon informing the girl working the counter she gave him coffee instead of chai, what was her response?

Her: Oh, that’s chai.
Wolfie: … no, that’s coffee. We both tried it…

Ok, fine, she goes to make another drink. He pointedly tells her “iced soy chai with pumpkin spice”

She makes a chai and sprinkles the pumpkin spice topping on it. He asks if the pumpkin spice syrup is in it and she says yes, but he didn’t see her make it that way. And for those who’ve tried this pumpkin spice, you know it’s an orange color that’s quite distinct. This wasn’t.

Anyways, he brings it to me, he’s tired of dealing with her, and knew it was at least a chai, and not coffee. So I take a sip and yup, no pumpkin spice.

We ended up going to Customer Service to complain. I don’t like to complain. Neither of us do, but we simply pointed out several facts:

1. We should NEVER have found out about the staffing issues.
2. The employees should NEVER have allowed cappuccino grandma that close to us while paying OR to get in front of our orders.
3. Upon making a mistake, just shut up, apologize for it, and don’t try to justify it.

End of story.

The supervisor did apologize and promised they’d talk to the Starbucks staff. That’s all we wanted, really. And with that, we went to continue our shopping.


Intermission – or, HOT POCKETS, BITCHES!!!
During the course of the shopping, wolfie excused himself to go to the bathroom, while we were in the frozen food aisle. So off he goes, while I’m wandering around the frozen foods, when I hear a couple arguing the next aisle over. About hot pockets. Hot pockets are srs bznz. Holy shit, are they.

Him: But what about pepperoni?!
Her: I let you have pepperoni last week, THIS week we’re having something else!
Him: HOT POCKETS AIN’T HOT POCKETS IF THEY AIN’T PEPPERONI!!

I’m standing in the next aisle going :wtf: all over the place, until wolfie comes back and at that point, ok, we’re done, time to go now!!


At the Checkout…
WHY CAN’T THINGS GO SMOOTHLY!!

*ahem*

That is…even the checkout, there was no reprieve. The cashier was confused by some coupons I had and called for help, and it was the same supervisor we lodged our complaint with. I apologized for being a problem child, and she said no big deal, and explained how to do the coupons.

Great, easy fix, right!



Nope…

See, she plugs those coupons in right away. Then she goes through the other coupons. And she proceeds to do the following:

Scan the laundry detergent.

Scan the coupon for laundry detergent.

Scan the toilet paper.

Scan the toilet paper coupon.

Scan 6 cans of cat food.

Scan the cat food coupon.

Get puzzled when the coupon doesn’t go through.

Listen to me explain the wording on the coupon.

Scan the rest of the cans of cat food.

Scan the coupon again.

Look baffled at the other coupon for cat food.

Listen to me explain the coupon policy for her store.

And so on and so on and so on.

Seriously, this process took almost as long as it did to get my drink at Starbucks.

And through it all, I’m apologizing profusely to the people in line behind us, mouthing apologies and feeling horridly embarrassed for, you know, trying to save money. We finally get the total, and pay and get out. So thankful to get into the parking lot, we finally get the car loaded up.

I look at wolfie. He looks at me.

And I proceed to whimper because that’s it, immunity is gone, and the shenanigans, they LIVE.

:help:

Andrew B.
09-23-2013, 03:38 AM
Wow. The universe figured you out and found you again. Yikes.

Racket_Man
09-23-2013, 05:03 AM
DANG!!!! It is mean of me to miss Lupo's crazy wacko shopping trips??? :lol:

Draco
09-23-2013, 05:43 AM
You wore off the Pairing Resistance, Lupo. Sorry.

For you, anyway. For us? Well, we missed your stories!

dalesys
09-23-2013, 12:23 PM
I guess starting the "Happy Days Are Here Again" conga line would be too too insensitive?


... and totally in character.

Sunshine
09-23-2013, 01:59 PM
Trio shopping? Also pumkin spice is awesome!!!

Kit-Ginevra
09-23-2013, 02:51 PM
I guess starting the "Happy Days Are Here Again" conga line would be too too insensitive?


... and totally in character.

.. and putting Lupo second to last in the conga line,with capuccino gran bringing up the rear conga-ing practically on top of Lupo :devil:

EricKei
09-23-2013, 03:58 PM
Trio shopping?
...And then quartets when that wears off, and quintets...And then, some five years or a decade from now, someone mistakes Lupo for a huge celebrity after seeing the huge entourage swarming around the grocery store, with a tiny voice muffled in the middle, crying out "I just wanted to get a loaf of bread...!"

sms001
09-23-2013, 06:12 PM
Him: HOT POCKETS AIN’T HOT POCKETS IF THEY AIN’T PEPPERONI!!

I would have yelled from the next aisle over "TESTIFY BROTHER!"

But I'm fun like that. :devil:

csquared
09-23-2013, 07:22 PM
Yea! Lupo stories!
*coughcough*
I mean Poor Lupo. :hug:

BookstoreEscapee
09-23-2013, 07:30 PM
I'm sorry about your shenanigans but your boyfriend scared the hell out of me at 11:30pm with his text telling me that your thread was up. :eek:

Get some Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Spice Swirl bread.

EvilEmpryss
09-23-2013, 08:52 PM
I'm sorry about your shenanigans but your boyfriend scared the hell out of me at 11:30pm with his text telling me that your thread was up. :eek:
You get live Lupo updates?!? Awesome!

thatcrazyredhead
09-23-2013, 09:20 PM
I want to go shopping with Lupo, just to see what hilarity will ensue.

dalesys
09-23-2013, 09:25 PM
I want to go shopping with Lupo, just to see what hilarity will ensue.
If you teamed up with Marlowe, Lupo would be protected by the Ginger Be'er Team...

Sunshine
09-23-2013, 11:53 PM
Erickei i concede your point and lol' ed at the reply...that would be hilarious to see tho

xx_wolfie_xx
09-24-2013, 12:02 AM
I'm sorry about your shenanigans but your boyfriend scared the hell out of me at 11:30pm with his text telling me that your thread was up. :eek:

Get some Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Spice Swirl bread.

Sorry about that. >.> <.<

BookstoreEscapee
09-24-2013, 12:32 AM
You get live Lupo updates?!? Awesome!

I do! She texted me and said there was a thread coming and then she left me hanging for hours!!

And then wolfie forgot that it is an hour later where I am.

Sorry about that. >.> <.<

Is OK, I wasn't asleep yet, but I had turned out the light and all of a sudden there's ringing and light and GAH!!

xx_wolfie_xx
09-24-2013, 01:06 AM
I had to remind her that she had obligations to her audience. And it was her suggestion to text you, I was tired enough to agree with her though.

BookstoreEscapee
09-24-2013, 01:30 AM
I had to remind her that she had obligations to her audience. And it was her suggestion to text you, I was tired enough to agree with her though.

Oh, so it's all her fault...I see..

lupo pazzesco
09-24-2013, 01:33 AM
Oh, so it's all her fault...I see..

....waitaminnithere...

WHY was I so late in posting the thread again, dearest darling boyfriend of mine?? Hhhmmm??

xx_wolfie_xx
09-24-2013, 01:34 AM
We've been over that, it couldn't be avoided, but then you told me to text be, and me being the loving caring boyfriend that I am, I did as you bade without question.

EvilEmpryss
09-24-2013, 01:43 AM
WHY was I so late in posting the thread again, dearest darling boyfriend of mine?? Hhhmmm??
Cue cheesy porn music?

dalesys
09-24-2013, 01:44 AM
Cue cheesy porn music?
Pics, or it didn't happen...

lupo pazzesco
09-24-2013, 02:02 AM
...

I forgot where I was for a moment again...

NO, BAD DIRTY MINDED PEOPLE. It wasn't THAT.

The thread was delayed because wolfie's job suddenly decided at 7 pm last night that surprise! He's going out of town in two weeks and has just about 12 hours to get packed up and be at the shop this morning. So, we ended up having to spend the better part of the evening with a DISTINCT lack of adult activities and pack him up to do regular adult things, like work. Job, etc, etc.

Oy. Pervs. :P

xx_wolfie_xx
09-24-2013, 02:07 AM
I'm not confirming or denying the exsistance of any pics, and furthermore if there WERE any of these alleged pics I'm not sharing they would be all MINE! >.> and lupo would totally kill me

Food Lady
09-24-2013, 07:18 AM
Him: HOT POCKETS AIN’T HOT POCKETS IF THEY AIN’T PEPPERONI!!

I would have yelled from the next aisle over "TESTIFY BROTHER!"

But I'm fun like that. :devil::roll: And that's why you're one of my favorites.

AccountingDrone
09-24-2013, 08:32 AM
Is OK, I wasn't asleep yet, but I had turned out the light and all of a sudden there's ringing and light and GAH!!

Try the Warehouse 13 Farnsworth sound.:eek:

I rarely get texts of any sort but my brother prefers to text me instead of speak to me when he is busy, and our mother fell and is in the hospital so I wanted an alarm sound that would get my attention. It about lifts me out of my chair when it goes off :eek:

Jay 2K Winger
09-24-2013, 07:59 PM
Heyyyy! Lupo's posted another shopping shenanigans thread! AWESO--wait.

Lupo's posted another shopping shenanigans thread. Oh dear.

Cookie
09-24-2013, 11:23 PM
Oh man. The shenanigans are back.

: places pumpkin pancakes and booze on a table and slowly backs away :

Pixilated
09-25-2013, 04:10 AM
Pumpkin pancakes? :eek::love:

I just bought an orange and a white pumpkin and now I've got to figure out what to do with them.

Thana
09-25-2013, 04:36 AM
..I feel horrible for laughing at this thread. Yet at the same time...I feel some relief that I'm not the only one that attracts insanity when attempting to shop.

XCashier
09-25-2013, 11:48 PM
...And then, some five years or a decade from now, someone mistakes Lupo for a huge celebrity after seeing the huge entourage swarming around the grocery store, with a tiny voice muffled in the middle, crying out "I just wanted to get a loaf of bread...!"
Maybe hire a personal shopper instead?

Lupo, you are the real-life Rincewind. Insane crap just keeps happening to you, no matter how fast you run from it!

Dreamstalker
09-26-2013, 02:11 PM
*volunteers to be Lupo's personal shopper* I can probably defuse the crazy by growling at them...acting crazier than the crazies seems to work around here anyway.

lupo pazzesco
10-01-2013, 03:45 AM
Pumpkin pancakes? :eek::love:

I just bought an orange and a white pumpkin and now I've got to figure out what to do with them.

Sounds like you've got some Cinderella pumpkins or somesuch. I am still researching recipes for those. I've got about 5 pie pumpkins on my counter right now and this weekend I'll be parcelling them out to freeze, so I can have pumpkin all year long.

As for what to DO with pumpkins?

Pumpkin pancakes
Pumkin waffles
Pumpkin butter
Pumpkin cake
Pumpkin cookies
Pumpkin Pie
Pumpkin spice syrup ( for lattes!!)
Pumpkin ravioli
Pumpkin lasagna


And that's just for starters...

42_42_42
10-01-2013, 04:19 AM
pumpkin soup

dawnfire
10-01-2013, 09:55 AM
pumpkin soup

roast pumpkin

Kit-Ginevra
10-01-2013, 10:24 AM
Pumpkin enema :devil::eek:

lupo pazzesco
10-01-2013, 12:39 PM
Pumpkin enema :devil::eek:

...

No...

Ew.

And ow.


Back on track!
Roasted pumpkin seeds
Pumpkin bisque (42_42_42, HOW could I forget soup?! I can roast the pumpkin and add it in chunks, OR puree it for a bisque)
Pumpkin tiramisu (It is TOO a think and it is FABULOUS)
Pumpkin chai
Pumpkin muffins
Pumpkin cream cheese swirl bars
Pumpkin brownies


:D

fireheart
10-01-2013, 12:57 PM
Pumpkin enema :devil::eek:

:puke: EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Although there is pumpkin lube out there....:D
I'd post the link, but I dun wanna get in trouble. :angel:

There's also Pumpkin M&Ms out there....

dalesys
10-01-2013, 01:31 PM
Although there is pumpkin lube out there....:D
Gonna need a whole lotta lube to stuff that sucker in...
[/Zep]

Chromatix
10-01-2013, 01:53 PM
Nobody has mentioned pumpkin juice yet.

fireheart
10-01-2013, 02:03 PM
And on a more innocent note....

Pumpkin kit-kats (http://www.buzzfeed.com/lydiah/35-kit-kat-varieties-from-around-the-world-18d7) (yes, this is actually a thing)


They also do Pumpkin Pudding (http://www.jbox.com/category/214)

thatcrazyredhead
10-01-2013, 05:03 PM
I have a recipe for pumpkin fudge somewhere, and my mother makes pumpkin chocolate chip cake, which sounds really odd, but it's delicious!

Cookie
10-01-2013, 05:18 PM
Baked pumpkin custards with a sour cream topping
pumpkin spice rooibos lattes (go to drink in the fall)
pumpkin cheesecakes
I want to try "pumpkin fries", I've done it with butternut squash and it's so tasty

BeeMused
10-01-2013, 05:49 PM
Pumkin punch with whole fruits :devil:
Just use lots of booze!

lupo pazzesco
10-01-2013, 07:23 PM
Two things I'm going to end up trying this year:

Pumpkin creme brulee and pumpkin mead. We have some beautiful local honey from a ranch about 30 miles outside of town, an some vanilla beans and cinnamon sticks. So, the boyfriend does homebrewing, we're going to lay down a batch of pumpkin MEAD. Can't WAIT.

Ironclad Alibi
10-01-2013, 07:23 PM
The best pumpkin treat I've ever had was rum pumpkin mousse.

XCashier
10-01-2013, 11:10 PM
Nobody has mentioned pumpkin juice yet.
Or pumpkin pasties (http://www.brittablvd.com/wizards/recipes.html) (which are basically small pumpkin pies in an enclosed crust).

sms001
10-02-2013, 10:44 AM
The best pumpkin treat I've ever had was rum pumpkin mousse.

My wife made one for t-day one year (sans rum) and it was delish! Got a link to the rum inclusive recipe you had? If not, I'll google and pick the best sounding one and post it, I think it's a must try.

thatcrazyredhead
10-02-2013, 08:41 PM
Or pumpkin pasties (http://www.brittablvd.com/wizards/recipes.html) (which are basically small pumpkin pies in an enclosed crust).

I read this as the other kind of pasties (with the long a). :lol: Now there's a mental image. Although, if you're jusing pumpkins for pasties (long a), I can only say, I'm jealous!

Ironclad Alibi
10-02-2013, 10:56 PM
My wife made one for t-day one year (sans rum) and it was delish! Got a link to the rum inclusive recipe you had? If not, I'll google and pick the best sounding one and post it, I think it's a must try.

You will have to Google the recipe for rum pumpkin mousse. The one I had was in a restaurant in 1978 at our wedding rehearsal dinner. That restaurant is long gone.

XCashier
10-02-2013, 11:25 PM
I read this as the other kind of pasties (with the long a).
I wonder if that's how most of the American public read it in Harry Potter? "This is a CHILDREN'S book and they're talking about pasties?!"

dalesys
10-02-2013, 11:33 PM
I read this as the other kind of pasties (with the long a). :lol: Now there's a mental image. Although, if you're jusing pumpkins for pasties (long a), I can only say, I'm jealous!
Can I lick the pumpkin pasty pasties off?:p

Sorry, spent the day installing cameras in a pole-dancing bar to cover the fight zones.

Cia
10-03-2013, 04:34 AM
Pumpkin chocolate chip bread -drool- I make a couple loaves every Christmas for my Dad and one for my daughter.

sms001
10-03-2013, 09:33 AM
...how most of the American public read it ....they're talking about pasties?!"

Well, certainly not up here, the things are everywhere. Lotta [ante-bellum] Cornish miner immigrants.

You will have to Google the recipe for rum pumpkin mousse.

Will do, thanks.

And to continue the thorough derailment of lupo's thread: