View Full Version : Shenanigans at Starbucks: Impatient Lupo = Verbal Smackdown

lupo pazzesco
10-13-2013, 05:25 PM
Friday morning. Friday morning was shaping up to be lovely. I got to sleep in a bit, or so I thought...

Thursday night, I get a check in the mail for the boyfriend, his expenses while he's out of town, so yeah, that needs to go to the bank. So, I tell my boss my plans, and that I might be a TINY bit late, and he's cool with it.

Holy crap, the bank lines. The LINES!! I was in there a good 45 minutes. No joke. Two tellers, and about a dozen people in line. What's worse, is the tellers would help a customer, say goodbye, then put up the "line closed: see next teller" sign, and wander off. Each and every time.

By the time I got up to the counter, got the check deposited into the boyfriend's account, I was not feeling all spiffy. I decided "Welp, I'm late for work now, so I'll stop and get some caffeine. Mmmm...pumpkin spice chai!!!"

My regular Starbucks is on the way in to work, perfect!! It also happens to be located fairly close to a local community college branch. All righty then, no big, it's busy.

I get inside and go to get in line. There are four people in front of me: An elderly man, a woman in business attire, a paramedic, and another woman in her mid to late 30s, it looked like (Descriptions relevant, I promise!)

So, I get in line behind the second woman, and am just amusing myself, reading the menu board, looking at the pastry case, etc. I'm not crowding anyone, in fact, I make it a point not to crowd people, because the area in front of the counter where you order is kind of cramped, as right across from it, building the "aisle" is the displays of wares for sale: Coffee machines, newspapers, travel cups and mugs, etc. So I tend to stay aware of that.

Well, while I was glancing at the pastry case, I see the line move out of the corner of my eye, and the woman I was behind is at the counter ordering. Awesome! I go to step forward...

And there are 3 college aged guys in front of me, backpacks on, and yammering at each other. Not a one of them is elderly, in business attire, a paramedic or female...

I blinked. They weren't there before. I know they weren't. Situational awareness, y'all, I have it. Where did they come from!?

I don't know, but I could see they were crowding in behind the woman ordering. And I've been effectively cut off, and actually had to take a step or two back so I'm standing next to the pastry case, or else, well, we'd ALL be a lot closer and rather more familiar with each other than I'm comfortable with on a first meeting!

I waited to see what they would do, because I had the sneaking suspicion that I was about to be cut in front of (what was my first clue, right??)

Sure enough, the woman steps away from the counter after paying and the three tromp up. Guy one has his phone out and is babbling about a gift card and the barista just looks confused.

Remember how I said this was my usual Starbucks? Yeah, my drink was already being made when the barista making coffee saw me in line. She waved to me, I said hello to her by name.

So the barista taking orders was understandably confused to see me fourth person back again. She points at me with the sharpie she used to write on cups and tilts her head in confusion. Guy 1 is still babbling about having a gift card, while Guy 2 is showing HIS phone to Guy 3 and talking about something else. At which point, the following occurs:

Barista: *head tilt, looks right at me* Um... :confused:
Me: :rolleyes: Yeah...but <I raise my voice just a little> OBVIOUSLY they've decided to be next, they MUST have somewhere much more important to be than I do. Go ahead, we mustn't keep them waiting!
G1: <turns to look at me> What?
G2: <Stares mortified>
G3: Were...Were you in line?
Me: <Super big, innocent grin and happy peppy voice> Oh, not anymore!! I'm so sorry I was interfering with YOUR busy schedule, oh please, do go ahead!! I'd HATE to cause you any problems!
G1: :eek: Uhhh...
G2 & G3: <do a quick shuffle backwards, giving G1 and me a wiiiidddeee berth>
G1: Are you next??
Me: <still smiling> Me? Oh, nnnoooo, not even remotely close to being next, apparently. :D

G1 stares at me for a while, then looks at the barista, who is apparently quite fascinated now with the screen on her register, and desperately trying not to look at him or me. G1 looks at his friends, who stare back at him in confusion and mortified horror, and finally, FINALLY, G1 steps back.

G1: Oh...uh...go ahead, miss...
Me: Oh, thank you sssssooooooo much, you're too kind!!!

I step up, the barista grins at me.

Barista: Your usual?
Me: Yup.
Barista: That was awesome. Your total is $X.xx

I pay and go to the drink counter, where mine is waiting for me. The drink making barista grins at me, too, and tells me to have a fantastic weekend, and hands me my straw.

I go on my way, and eventually make it to work an hour late, but that's only because of the train.

Friday was AWESOME...

10-13-2013, 06:12 PM
GO LUPO!!! :beam: :yourock: :highfive:

10-13-2013, 07:59 PM
You are awesome, Lupo!

10-13-2013, 09:29 PM
Mmm, Pumpkin Spice Chai!!! I love that stuff!

I would have been a lot more rude to them if they cut in line in front of me.

10-14-2013, 12:18 AM
You ran into a wandering tribe of Oblivious. They are out there, everywhere, absorbed in their own little world, unaware that there are actually other people walking around nearby.

10-14-2013, 02:58 AM
At least they didn't seem to have been deliberately vindictive. Those are the ones you really don't want to run into.

Jay 2K Winger
10-14-2013, 07:15 PM
Do not meddle in the affairs of the Caffeinated, for they are cranky and quick to anger.

10-15-2013, 01:39 AM
You ran into a wandering tribe of Oblivious. They are out there, everywhere, absorbed in their own little world, unaware that there are actually other people walking around nearby.

I was going to say much the same: they sound like people who were just not paying attention, rather than EWs. Still ... how hard is it to say, "Where's the end of the line?" or something similar when you see a bunch of people standing at the counter ...

10-15-2013, 06:26 AM
Do not meddle in the affairs of the Caffeine Deprived, for they are cranky and quick to anger.

Fixed that for you.

10-18-2013, 01:47 PM
Still, there was a line. The way most Starbucks stores are set up, it's obvious; even if someone's standing at the pastry case or leaves a polite distance between themselves and the next person, I always ask "are you in line?".

The Peets we frequent...it's not always clear where the line starts. Us regulars know how to queue properly (one of the baristas thinks that should be an intelligence test to be passed before one gets to order).